Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ In The Shadows, In The Light ❯ Touch ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Notes: All Weiss Kreutz stuff/characters are not owned by me and all rights apply to the lucky bastards who do own them. I took these boys out to play and let them frolic like they really wanted to `cause that's the kinda sick and twisted little puppy I am.

 

The Sharp & Guilty Pleasure arc is the prequel to this story arc.

 

Thanks goes to Race for beta-ing this for me and making me sound more polished than I am.

 

~ indicates character POV

** indicates internal conversation.

 

 

Touch

 

~Yohji~

 

A couple of months ago, I brought Schuldig home from the club and set into motion the strange relationship I now had with Aya and him. I wasn't two-timing either of them; the three of us were in a relationship with each other. Schuldig called it a triad.

 

Others would call it fucking complicated, suicidal, insane.

 

We saw each other separately and as a group. Most of the time, it was all three of us together. Neither Schuldig nor Aya seemed to want me to spend a lot of time alone with the other man. Made me feel like a bone being fought over by two mean-ass dogs. Most of the time, I liked it. It's great for the ego to have two beautiful men fighting over who gets to sleep with you.

 

Tonight, I had Aya to myself. He was sitting next to me on the couch reading a book. Ken had taken the chair and Omi was sprawled on the floor. We were watching some movie with car chases, explosions and jiggly, half-naked chicks, but my attention kept wandering to Aya. Every so often I would catch the smell of his shampoo and want to touch him; kiss him; devour him with the yearning, want, need he seemed to bring to life in me.

 

Touching and kissing wasn't something that I thought I could get away with easily. At least, not with Ken and Omi in the room. Aya still didn't want Ken and Omi to know that we were sleeping together. I didn't see what it mattered, but I was willing to go along with it for a little while longer. I could be discreet but I think they were starting to suspect something. They weren't stupid and we all lived in fairly close quarters. They knew that I had almost completely stopped going to clubs. The only time I went now was with Schu. That man could bump and grind with the best of them. Aya refused to go with us. It was a shame because it would be so sexy to see Aya and Schu undulating and writhing with me on the dance floor.

 

Being in front of people didn't stop me from touching Aya in ways that were more than casual; it just added to the rush when he actually let me get away with it. Aya was going to get used to my hands on him in public if it killed me, and knowing him, it very well could.

 

I figured Aya didn't have a lot of experience in the old dating field, so he wouldn't know too many of the classic teenaged moves. Testing my theory I tried the old stretch-the-arms bit. Aya never even twitched as my arm lay across the back of the couch almost touching him. I moved my fingers closer and lightly stroked the sensitive back of his graceful neck. If I hadn't been watching him instead of the T.V., I would have missed the little hitch in his chest and the way his eyes slid closed for the briefest of moments. Aya unconsciously arched ever so slightly before he remembered that Ken and Omi were in the room. His eyes snapped open and he glared at me.

 

“Yohji,” Aya growled quietly in warning before moving to the far end of the couch and curling up with his book and pointedly ignoring me. He even turned slightly away, showing me his backside like a disgruntled cat.

 

Damn but he was not being the most co-operative lover. Schu would have stayed and pressed himself into my hands. I probably would have been able to kiss him without running the risk of a fist to the face too. Hell, Schu would have returned the touch by fondling me through my jeans. Of course, Schu didn't give a flying fa-doo about Ken and Omi, either. I folded my arms and slouched further down in my seat. I knew I was being unfair in comparing Aya to Schuldig and sulking over it, but it was Aya's fault. If he wanted me to help him learn to feel again, he had to let me touch him in places other than behind the locked door of the bedroom.

 

I barely paid attention to the movie and was surprised when the credits rolled across the screen. Omi got up from his place on the floor and stretched before saying good-night and heading to bed. Ken stayed to catch the latest soccer scores, and then said his good-nights as well. Typically, Aya barely even looked up from his book as they left. I stayed where I was; I had some alone time with Aya coming to me and I intended to use it.

 

I randomly flipped through the channels. Aya was still buried in his book, paying no attention to me. Good. He was going to let me touch him outside of the bedroom whether he liked it or not. I had a plan. I slipped my hand across the couch, grabbed Aya's ankle and pulled his bare foot towards me. I got a very un-Aya-like squawk and his complete attention.

 

“Yohji,” he warned as he tried to pull his foot back.

 

“Relax Aya. Go back to your book. You'll like this,” I said as I began to knead the bottom of his foot.

 

He jerked back a few times, testing my hold, then settled for a semi-lethal glare when he realized I wasn't going to let go. For somebody who was getting a free foot massage, he was being damn ungrateful. I must be a confirmed masochist because it was something that I found very attractive about him. Something about his prickly, touch-me-not attitude just made my hormones - and other things - stand up at attention. Aya kept up the evil eye until I started to press my thumbs into the ball of his foot. His breath came out in a tiny moan and his eyelids dropped to half-mast.

 

I continued the massage and got zero resistance when I reached for the other foot, dragged it into my lap and started working on that. Aya's eyes closed and his head dropped against the arm rest; his book fell unheeded to the floor. Soft little sounds of pleasure escaped him every so often. Aya feeling pleasure and giving voice to it topped my list of erotic sounds, as the glass hard erection straining my fly could attest.

 

I let my hands drift up his calves under his pants, kneading the tight muscles there. He sighed and his toes curled into my thigh. Schuldig had been right when he said Aya was responsive. If he was making these kinds of sounds from just a foot massage, I wondered how he'd sound if I gave him a body rub. If possible, my cock got even harder at the thought. I decided that I was going to give him a touching session he wouldn't soon forget.

 

“Come on Ran, let's go to bed.”

 

Startled by my words and the sudden cessation of the massage, Aya's eyes flew open. His surprised expression was quickly replaced with a curled lip and a hiss. I knew why I was getting the snarly attitude. Aya had not appreciated my sneaking touches all day where everybody could see and I had just said out loud what I wanted where either Ken or Omi could walk past and hear. I sighed and resisted the urge to just yank the stubborn, beautiful man to me and kiss him until he couldn't think. I knew I could do it. I'd done it before. The trick was being able to do it without Aya trying to lay a beating on me for it.

 

“They're gone to bed and probably asleep by now. Our secret is safe.”

 

Aya's response was a kick to the thigh that just missed putting me out of commission for the rest of the night. Damn but he was touchy tonight. Maybe I had pushed him a little too hard through the day. But if he wanted to feel again, he needed to get use to me touching him. I'd never been good at resisting somebody as delectable as Aya and I wasn't going to start fighting the urge now. I figured it was going to take some serious physical force to get Aya's tight little ass in my bed tonight - either that or I was really going to have to pour on the pleasure.

 

Lord I loved a challenge.

 

I gripped his ankles and jerked him towards me. He wasn't expecting it and I managed to get him mostly in my lap before he started to struggle. There's not much better in my world than a lapful of wriggling Aya. I laughed softly as I pulled him closer and licked a line from his chin to his ear. That made him struggle harder and hiss that Ken and Omi could come by at any moment.

 

“I want you Ran. I haven't had you to myself in over a week. I like being with both you and Schu, but I want just you tonight. Let me make you feel good,” I whispered as I trapped his arms with mine. All his struggles stopped so fast I was almost disappointed; his tight little ass felt damn good squirming around on my lap.

 

“Your room,” he said quietly as he pushed against my hold.

 

I let him go. I knew when I had won. The issue of a public, at least to his mind, display of affection could be fought over another time. I was learning to choose my battles with him. Who said you couldn't teach an old dog new tricks? I chortled to myself; I was smarter than I looked.

 

I followed Aya into my room. He stood in the middle and wrinkled his nose at the organized mess; I took the opportunity to strip as I approached him. He watched me with icy violet eyes. It always made me harder than hell when he did that. Just knowing that I would be the one to make that ice melt and fire up the desire that he buried was such a rush. Aya remained unmoving as I closed on him.

 

“It works better when you're naked too. I'd help you, but you always bitch about me not folding your clothes when I take them off you.” My smiled faded a bit as Aya remained motionless and just watched me. I sighed. He was really going to be difficult tonight. I should have known that getting him to agree to come to my room was way too easy even if he wanted to join me between the sheets.

 

Contrary fucker.

 

I started stripping him. I was efficient about it and didn't stop to lick and taste his skin like I wanted to. Wary surprise was radiating from him. Aya had been expecting me to nuzzle and sample as I was wont to do; after all he knew that it was something that I liked doing. I wasn't in his head like when Schuldig was with us, but I knew enough about Aya to recognize his moods. I had surprised him earlier with the little foot massage and he was wondering what I was up to now. I think he was expecting me to just jump his bones. Not that the idea didn't have massive appeal, but I wanted him to get used to my hands on him.

 

Once I had him naked, I pushed him towards the bed. I resisted the urge to stare at him and let desire build from just looking at him. Aya still didn't understand how much of an effect he had on me and I wasn't about to tell him. I needed some kind of upper hand with him. Schuldig felt the same way; we needed some defences against the effect Aya had on us. He didn't need any more advantages.

 

Aya looked over his shoulder at me and it took all I had not to jump him. For somebody who buried their thoughts, feelings and emotions as deep as he did, Aya had a stunning gift for conveying hot sex with just a look. That was supposed to be my talent. I wasn't going to complain though; I was the one who was going to be getting the hot sex.

 

“Lay on your stomach and close your eyes,” I ordered as I finished stripping.

 

Aya gave me one last look before wordlessly obeying. I felt a thrill at him doing what I told him without question. He trusted me. He wouldn't have done it for Schuldig but he gave no second thoughts to doing it for me.

 

I rifled through a drawer for the lightly scented oil I had picked up ages ago on a whim. Rose scent wasn't my usual thing, but it seemed so Aya.

 

I sat on the bed next to Aya and poured a little of sweet, slippery stuff into my palm. I rubbed my hands together to warm it and then touched the smooth white perfection that was Aya's skin.

 

~Aya~

 

I was shocked by how unbelievably good it felt when Yohji rubbed my feet and I wanted it to continue when he just as randomly stopped. He said we should go to bed and while I had no objections to the act, I was unwilling to let Ken and Omi know of my sleeping arrangements with Yohji. I know that bothered him, but it was all still too new for me to be able to share and risk their censure or teasing. I couldn't even begin to think about telling them that I was sleeping with Schuldig too.

 

Yohji stroked my back in slow, steady motions. If the foot massage had felt good, this was heavenly. The light scent of roses filled the room and I fought to hide my affectionate smile. The strokes became firmer as Yohji moved his hands over my back and shoulders. Tense muscles loosened, places that I hadn't realized were sore relaxed and eased, and a soft sigh of contentment escaped me. Yohji was a warm presence and I shifted ever so slightly closer to him. I was rewarded for that small movement by the pleased hum of Yohji near my ear before he pressed a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth.

 

Yohji's hands brushed down my arms, working kinks out with gentle pressure. That cold and icy place inside my head began to crack and melt and dangerous desires and emotions leaked out under the warmth of his touch. Schuldig had been right that day when we all came together in a relationship. I didn't need Schuldig in my head to make me feel; Yohji could do it all on his own. I moaned as the slow trickle of sensation made my body tingle and my cock ache.

 

Yohji pressed his lips to the back of my neck and sucked. I knew I was going to have a red mark there the next day but I didn't care. Yohji knew he could raise goose bumps of pleasure when he touched me like he was doing now. His hands stroked back down the curve of my back and over my ass, kneading as they went. His lips left my neck and moved further down my body, leaving a burning path of kisses down my spine. Yohji massaged lower still, pressing hard into the backs of my thighs and calves.

 

I groaned and shifted as my erection pressed into the bed. I had not expected anything like the pleasure Yohji was now giving me; tender and caring and all the more erotic for the lack of expected sexual innuendo. He stroked over the soles of my feet again and I groaned. A gentle tug had me rolling to my back and I opened my eyes, expecting and wanting Yohji to spread my legs and slide inside me. Instead, his strong, deadly hands continued their pampering along the tops of my thighs and over my hips. He ignored the erection that twitched when he passed close to my groin.

 

Yohji ran his fingers up the sides of my ribs and over my chest, carefully avoiding my nipples. He pressed his thumbs in my shoulder joints and rubbed small circles to ease the tension there. I was unable to stop another groan; I was fast approaching my sensory overload point. After so long without, it didn't take much.

 

Yohji's caress ghosted up the back of my neck and began to press against the back of my skull. My limbs turned to jell-o and I let my eyes slide closed. While it felt so good I hoped he'd never stop I didn't think I could take much more bliss. He pushed his fingers through my hair and rubbed my head. I made little purring noises and moved restlessly against him.

 

“Feel good Ran?” Yohji asked softly against my lips before kissing me.

 

I brought my hands up to keep him where he was and let the flames he'd kindled burn out of control. Yohji's tongue slipped into my mouth and teased against mine. Lust swept through me. I wanted his body rubbing against mine; I wanted Yohji inside me; I wanted him. I could submit when it was just the two of us; when Schuldig was with us, I had to be dominant and claim Yohji just as Schuldig did.

 

“Need you,” I gasped as I pulled back from the kiss.

 

“Then you can have me,” Yohji soothed, pouring more oil into his palm.

 

A slick finger teased at my hole before easing inside. I jerked my hips up to take more in. Yohji's eyes burned with desire. He waited until I was circling my hips in an effort to get more sensation from the lone finger before sliding the second in. I made an inarticulate plea for more and bent my knees to get Yohji's fingers deeper inside me. My hand drift up my belly to my chest and I gently tortured myself with the gold hoop through my nipple.

 

I bit off a yelp when Yohji suddenly took my cock into his mouth. He twisted his tongue around the head and he pushed the tip into the slit. I had once seen him tie a cherry stem using only his tongue and teeth. He was putting the same kind of oral dexteriority to use on me. I growled a protest at the frustratingly gentle pleasures as Yohji moved his fingers in a tormentingly slow rhythm that he matched with his mouth. My free hand tangled in his hair while the other pulled and twisted with increasing savagery at my nipple ring. Need sang in my veins every time Yohji stabbed his fingers deep in my body and swallowed down my cock at the same time. My hips jerked and twisted under him until he threw his arm over them and held me still. My whine of helplessness as Yohji held me for his oral pleasure gave way to a little mewl of distress when Yohji's fingers and mouth left me at the same time.

 

“I was just going to use my hands and lips and let you get used to the idea of me touching you but I can't. I need to feel you Ran,” Yohji moved between my legs and strained against me. I squirmed and panted as I waited for him to push into me. When he didn't move, I opened my eyes.

 

“I love watching your eyes when I enter you,” Yohji whispered as he pressed into me.

 

A shiver ran through me at his words and I struggled not to close my eyes from the gratifying feeling of having him inside me. Instead, I watched his cat green eyes as he seated himself deep and waited for me to adjust. I had never really looked into his eyes like this before; I usually let myself be swept away in the rush of feelings that he drew from me. What I saw there made the last of the icy shield guarding my feelings shatter; freed passions poured into my brain and burst through my body.

 

Schuldig had told me that Yohji seemed to feed from the pleasure he gave his lovers but I hadn't believed him. I did now and my arousal spiked knowing that I was giving Yohji as much pleasure as he was giving me. Desire flushed his face and made his remarkable eyes shine. I could see his pulse thrumming in his throat and his breathing was fast and choppy. Every little sound and move I made pushed him higher with longing. The more ecstasy I felt from what he was doing to me, the more his passion climbed. I moaned low and swivelled my hips under him.

 

“Fuck you're hot and sexy Ran,” Yohji made tiny little thrusts that pressed against my sweet spot and made me clutch at him.

 

“Fuck me now,” I demanded as I tried to get him to move. I wanted Yohji to pound into me but he was holding himself as still as he could. The stray thought that if Schuldig was with us, Yohji would know exactly how much I wanted him to move, passed through my brain. It was quickly killed by the smug, possessive thought that I had Yohji all to myself while Schuldig was alone.

 

Yohji looked at me hard before leaning down and brushing his lips across mine. “Your wish; my command,” he growled, and any questions I had about the odd expression fled my mind when he rolled his hips. Yohji thrust into me in a powerful rhythm as his mouth devoured mine.

 

I wrapped my legs around his waist and my fingers around my cock. My breath came in sharp pants into Yohji's mouth as I rode the crest of feelings. Heat pooled in my groin. My cock was painfully hard and weeping in my hand. My orgasm was starting to push at me, bringing the sensation of Yohji inside me to the razor edge sharpness of desire.

 

“That's it Ran. Let go and feel,” Yohji murmured as he released my mouth. He brought his teeth down onto my neck and bit me hard while slamming his hips into mine.

 

My back bowed and a high, thin wail broke from me as I peaked. Yohji gasped and jerked his hips as my cock spasamed in my hand and coated my fingers with my seed. I moaned and thrashed under him as he continued to piston into me and hit my sweet spot before his own orgasm dragged him down.

 

Yohji supported himself on shaky arms over me as he waited for the pleasure pulses of his cock to stop. I mewled and quivered under him; swamped by the tidal waves of feeling. When he did move, it was to pull me close to him as he rolled to his side.

 

“You're going to kill me one of these days with all this passion you keep bottled up,” Yohji mumbled into my hair as he stroked my back. “But what a fantastic way to go.”

 

I let him hold me for a few minutes before I pushed against his shoulder to get away. I had cooling come on my hand and belly and more trickling down my thighs. I was also sweaty and greasy from the oil Yohji had rubbed on me for the massage. I needed a shower, now.

 

Yohji grabbed my hand from his shoulder and licked my fingers clean. My breath caught and I reflexively tried to pull my hand back. I was surprised and a little disappointed when he let me. He used that momentary surprise to push me to my back and lapped down my abdomen, washing me like a cat. His tongue bathed my soft cock and I felt it try to stir to life again.

 

I closed my eyes and let my emotions flow, relaxing into them and enjoying them. Yohji wasn't trying to arouse me again; he only wanted to give me more of the sensations and feelings that I now seemed to crave. The fact that he was arousing me was just a bonus. I sighed when Yohji moved between my spread legs and continued to lick my belly and cock clean. My eyes flew wide when I felt him nuzzle under my balls and his tongue press into my ass, licking at the come that trickled out.

 

“Yohji,” I flushed, startled, as I tried to wriggle away.

 

“What? You don't like it?” he purred between licks as he firmly held onto my hips.

 

“I…no…yes…its,” I stuttered, at a complete loss.

 

~Yohji~

 

I looked at Aya wondering what had happened to make him so skittish all of a sudden.

 

**Ach, you've shocked our little kitten. It never occurred to him to do something like that. Stop that and go take a shower with him. Maybe he'll let you abuse him in the shower, ** said Schuldig with a wicked snicker.

 

Schuldig. What in hell was he doing so close to us? I wasn't about to buy some lame-ass story about him being out for a drive or walk. He had better come up with something good. He knew that tonight was my first time alone with Aya in over a week.

 

**How long have you been peeping on us Schu? Where the hell are you and what are you doing here? ** I asked, miffed that my time alone with Aya probably wasn't.

 

**I'm parked near the shop. I was getting some very strong, pleasurable feelings from the two of you earlier and decided to see what was going on. **

 

Like he didn't know what was going on. He had to have been lurking around the Koneko just waiting for us to start to have been able to feel what we were doing. Schu said he had a range for his mental gift and we were out of that range if he was at his place. Fucking jealous prick. This little tug-of-war between him and Aya over me was starting to wear thin.

 

**How long Schu? ** I pressed, letting my annoyance leak into my mental voice.

 

**Ach, last fifteen minutes or so. Neither one of you noticed so I figured no harm, no foul. You both got off and if I had been in a more private place, I would have too. It would have been nice for you to call me to come play too, you know, ** Schuldig said with a slight pout in his voice.

 

I felt Aya tense further under my hands and just knew that Schuldig was making his presence known to him. Fucking asshole. Schu wanted to join in the fun and I just knew he was bugging Aya to let him. From the expression on Aya's face, it wasn't something that was going to happen anytime soon. He slid from the bed and headed for the door. I knew he was pissed when he didn't even stop to throw on some clothes before stepping out of my room, naked, for the short walk to the bathroom. I followed a half step behind him and almost got my nose broken from the force of the door slammed in my face.

 

**What the fuck did you tell him Schu? ** I asked, anger making my mental voice harsh. I quietly slipped into the bathroom and leaned against the door to watch a very pissed Aya yank on the faucets of the shower.

 

**Nothing. I just told him that the orgasm was spectacular and that he was very lucky that you wanted to felch him. Not many people will you know. How come you never did that with me? ** Schuldig whined with a sulky little thread of jealousy winding through his voice.

 

Oh for the love of kinky sex! One thing I do on pure impulse and it has both my partners' irritated for different reasons. Aya shot me a venomous look before stepping under the spray. Schuldig muttered about ungrateful near-virgins in my head and Aya scowled even harder at me.

 

**I swear Schu, if you just cost me the chance of having Aya in my bed all night, I am not going to sleep with you for a week. You know how prickly he can be. And you can be damn sure Aya won't sleep with you either. It's rude to spy on us when you know we're…occupied. Don't do it again. We all agreed that there would be times when it would be just two of us and that means more than just physically together. **

 

I got a sullen **Fine** and another glare from Aya before I felt Schuldig leave my head. I waited and concentrated but couldn't feel him any more. That didn't mean he wasn't still there. I hadn't noticed him when Aya and I were having sex but I had been more than a little distracted at the time. I decided to ignore any further mental poking and conversations and stepped into the shower with Aya. That earned me another poisonous glare. What the fuck did Schu say to him?

 

“What did he say to you?” I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his arms. I wanted the sensual contact of a warm and wet Aya but I was also hedging my bets against a sudden physical attack. Experience had taught me Aya was willing to take out his aggressions on the person closest at hand. Schu was so dead for ruining the relaxed Aya that I had worked damn hard at producing.

 

“He said that the orgasm was good but it would have been better if we had invited him over. He also said that I shouldn't be such a prude and expand my horizons,” Aya muttered. He allowed my touch but refused to lean back against me no matter how hard I tried to pull him that way.

 

“Did you enjoy it?” I asked as I picked up the soap and began lathering his body.

 

“Enjoy what?”

 

“Me touching you. Me being inside you. Me licking you clean.”

 

Aya hesitated, then sighed. “Yes.” He braced himself against the wall of the shower, still trying to keep some distance between us yet allowing me to wash him.

 

I kissed the nape of his neck. “Schu is just jealous that he couldn't join in for something that felt so good. He'll get over it.”

 

“Did you know he was there?” Aya asked in a suspicious voice.

 

“Not until he announced himself. And I chewed him out for snooping, too.” I pulled once again on Aya, determined to have him relax into my touch. “Let's get out of the shower and go back to bed. I wasn't finished with you when Schu interrupted us.”

 

Aya finally leaned back against me and gave the barest of nods. Schu was damn lucky that I didn't have to spend the rest of the night alone. This…whatever it was between Aya and Schu was going to have to stop soon. It was a good ego boost to be desired by two beautiful men at the same time but their rivalry was seriously starting to wear on my last nerve.

 

~Schuldig~

 

Okay, so I was being an asshole. I never claimed I wasn't. I had been minding my own business at home watching some pointless drama when the sensations slithered into my awareness. They had started out faint and tingly, so I just strengthened my shields and tried to concentrate on the T.V. show. I assumed it was one of my house-mates; Brad getting excited over the latest spreadsheet or Nagi finally beating that last boss of whatever video game was his obsession this week. Hell, I was even willing to believe that it had been Farfarello getting himself off on slicing up his body while taunting God.

 

Then the feelings started to flow into me past my shields and I recognized who it was. I could never mistake the sultry flavour of Yohji's mind swirled with Aya's. It was fast becoming my drug of choice. I didn't even stop to think about what I was doing. I grabbed the first car keys I found and fled the house. It wasn't until I had pulled up to the Koneko that I wondered how I had been able to pick up on what I did.

 

They should have been out of my range. Not only that, my shields are damn strong. It was one of the things that made our current arrangement tolerable: Yohji and Aya could have sex every night if they wanted but I couldn't feel them doing it in my head. Except now I could. This was going to drive me nuts. It was bad that Aya could have Yohji whenever the fuck he felt like it but I had to make arrangements if I wanted to be with either of them I didn't like that one bit and I liked this little turn of events even less.

 

I enjoyed being with my two lovers for more than just fucking. I was able to relax without shields when I was with them. At first, it had been only during and after sex with Yohji that I could let down my shields. I don't really know when it started but gradually I was able to do the same thing around Aya. If the three of us were together, which was more often than not, I didn't even notice when I dropped the mental shields. I never had to actually concentrate anymore to link the three of us together either. It just seemed to happen on its own. It felt comfortable and natural.

 

I felt the warm after glow flow between Aya and Yohji and wanted to share. While I could experience their thoughts sitting in the car, I needed to feel them while wrapped around Yohji and touching Aya. I swore, feeling left out and jealous. I forced myself to start up the car and head home. I was only tormenting myself with staying so close and not being invited to join in the fun.

 

I resisted the petty urge to send a sharp little stab of pain to Aya to ruin any further fun between him and Yohji. Yohji would know right away who to blame and I knew from past experience that he would follow through on his earlier threat of no sex for a week. Taking another lover wasn't an option, first because although Yohji would understand, Aya would not and a pissed Aya was not a fun time. I acknowledged he was already stretching his rigid boundaries by sleeping with both Yohji and me at the same time. Second, I didn't want another lover. I had everything a person could want in Yohji and Aya.

 

And damn but I wanted them both right now.