Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ In The Shadows, In The Light ❯ Revelation ( Chapter 5 )

Author's Notes: All Weiss Kreutz stuff/characters are not owned by me and all rights apply to the lucky bastards who do own them. I took these boys out to play and let them frolic like they really wanted to `cause that's the kinda sick and twisted little puppy I am.

 

Thanks goes to Race for beta-ing this for me and acting as a sounding board. You rock.

 

Thanks also goes to kuyashinaki for providing me with the German phrases. Any spelling/grammar mistakes are completely mine.

 

~ indicates character POV

** indicates internal conversation.

 

 

Revelation

 

~Ken~

 

For once I was the first one up and I actually got a hot shower. I pulled a Yohji and spent an extra fifteen minutes at least just revelling in all that glorious heat. That put me behind schedule and I rushed down to gulp breakfast when it came to me that I still had Yohji's CD's.

 

Only Yohji would write a vicious threat on the side of a carton of orange juice.

 

Yohji is a nice guy, carton defacing and hot water sucking aside, and I'd been meaning to return those CD's for a couple of weeks, so it wasn't fear that had me rushing back to my room. Not fear of death, anyway. More like fear that Yohji would come hunting for the disks himself. If I wanted my teammates pawing through my mess, I would have just left Omi a note asking him to find the damn things.

 

No, I had to look for them myself, and I wasted another good ten minutes before I found the elusive CD's, along with a few other archaeological discoveries. Terrific, the kids always gave me a hard time when I'm late for practice, and I was really tardy now.

 

Once I found them, what to do? If I left them outside Yohji's door he'd step on them or something, Aya would yell at me or Omi would find them and borrow them himself and Yohji would be all over my ass for not returning them when I said I would. I figured that I'd just slip into Yohji's room and leave the CD's on his dresser, even though I knew he wasn't alone. I'd heard Yohji and his guest during the night when I had gotten up to use the bathroom. I wouldn't look at the bed. I'd just drop the CD's off and be on my way. I'm a trained assassin! I could do this.

 

I grabbed my empty juice glass and a few other glasses and plates I somehow forgot to return to the kitchen. I didn't need Omi lecturing me yet again about growing science experiments. I managed to juggle them and Yohji's CD's and still silently open his door and sneak inside. I placed the CD's carefully on the dresser and turned to go, basking in all the good karma I was gathering.

 

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and habit made me turn to look.

 

The first thing I saw was long orange-red hair and a pale naked chest. The chest was definitely male. It wasn't a big surprise, I knew Yohji was bi. Granted, it was the first time I could remember Yohji bringing a man back home with him. I could see the top of Yohji's head where it rested on the man's shoulder. I automatically looked to the face to identify the person and felt my blood run cold.

 

Schuldig!

 

The dirty dishes fell from my suddenly nerveless fingers and crashed to the floor at my feet. The juice glass shattered and the sound startled the occupants of the bed awake and gave me my final shock of the day.

 

Aya popped up from behind Yohji with a snarl on his lips. The sheet slid to his hips and revealed the fact that he was as naked as the two other men in the big bed. It was no stretch of the imagination to figure out what they had been doing before falling asleep.

 

Yohji was struggling to wake and looked annoyed. Schuldig was watching me with what hindsight tells me was wary humour in his blue eyes. Aya's face moved from anger at being awakened so abruptly to mortification at being found in a compromising position. Yohji rubbed a hand over his face and cursed softly under his breath. Schuldig smirked, yawned and then threw an arm over Yohji's waist and looked prepared to go back to sleep. To perfectly top things off, Omi stumbled into the room asking what had happened.

 

God, it was Hell.

 

 

~Yohji~

 

 

Why? Why does crap like this happen to me? Do the gods hate me? Am I some sort of amusement for them? Do they like to completely fuck up my life just to see how hard I'll squirm?

 

**Ach, go back to sleep. He'll leave if we ignore him, ** Schuldig said around a yawn as he pulled me close to his body and nuzzled into my neck.

 

**Sleep? You've got to be fucking kidding me! Ken is freaking. Aya is seriously pissed. And what the hell are you still doing here, Schu? You always leave before dawn. It's seven am! Fuck! **

 

Aya yanked on the sheet, preparing to bolt. Ken and Omi gaped at us. I could feel Schuldig's amusement at the situation and had to wonder if he hadn't planned for this to happen.

 

**I was relaxed and fell asleep, ** Schuldig sighed as I shoved him.

 

Aya shot both of us murderous glares and finally succeeded in claiming the sheet, which left Schuldig and me nude and exposed in the bed. Ken made a strangled sound; Omi just stood in the doorway with his mouth open in sleepy shock. Aya wrapped the sheet around his waist before standing. I grabbed Aya's wrist and jerked him back down to the bed, knowing the floor of my room was littered with broken glass. And that if Aya left my room like this, the chances of getting him back in my bed with Schuldig and me at a later date were slim to none. He growled at me and threw an off balance punch. It missed me but nailed Schuldig in the gut instead. Schuldig grunted in pain and Aya barred his teeth in a satisfied parody of a smile.

 

**Schärfe! ** Schuldig mentally yelled.

 

Both Aya and I winced and pressed hands to our heads. What followed was a mental tirade of German that I'm sure was far from complimentary. It had something to do with our mothers and several farm animals; I think. Schuldig had trapped Aya's hand against his stomach and glared at him.

 

“What the fuck is going on?” Ken all but shouted as he took a defensive posture.

 

“We were sleeping until somebody woke us up,” Schuldig hissed as he tightened his grip on Aya's hand as Aya tried to pull free.

 

“Let go,” Aya demanded through gritted teeth.

 

“What is Schuldig doing here?” Omi asked as he fingered a dart he pulled from somewhere. “And Aya-kun, mind the broken dishes.”

 

“I was invited,” Schuldig said. He jerked on Aya's hand, pulling him closer, and was rewarded with one of Aya's rarely used Die-In-A-Living-Hell glare.

 

I started to edge out from under Aya who was sprawled across me. I could tell he was reaching his limit for embarrassment and starting to get good and angry. Just because Aya didn't have a weapon on him didn't mean he was harmless; Schuldig had one pissed off tiger by the tail and I was getting out of clawing range. Years living with Aya had taught me to stay out of his reach when he was mad unless I wanted to become the focus of his ire.

 

“Lair! Who the hell would invite a snake like you here?” Ken spat as he clenched his fists.

 

“Aya did this time,” Schuldig answered smugly. I contemplated killing him myself. We were about to be ground zero in World War Three and he was busy putting gasoline on the flames. “I told you we should've gone to a hotel again,” he said to Aya as he finally lost the battle and his grip on Aya.

 

“Again? Aya-kun,” said Omi in a horrified voice.

 

Aya gathered up the sheet again and rose from the bed, all offended male dignity. He scowled at Schuldig and me and stalked stiff legged from the room, ignoring all of the broken glass. He paused at the door and looked back at the four of us. “Fuck off, all of you,” he hissed, before turning to leave. We all heard and felt his bedroom door slam.

 

“Start talking Kudou,” demanded Ken. He fixed his eyes on a spot slightly above my head, doing his best not to look at either Schuldig or me, exposed once again in all our glory since Aya had taken the only cover.

 

I muttered under my breath as I hunted up a pair of pants from the floor. This was so completely fucked up. What the hell was Ken doing in my room? How were Schuldig and I going to fix this with Aya? How long was Aya going to stay mad? I knew the answer to that last one. Ages, years, eons, even. Nobody could hold a grudge like Aya Fujimiya.

 

**I'll be going now, ** Schuldig said as he, too, scooped up pants from the floor and put them on. They were Aya's, I noted.

 

**Don't you bail on me, too, you chickenshit. You're part of this fiasco. **

 

**You didn't lock the door last night, ** Schuldig accused as he looked for a pack of smokes.

 

“Hello? Earth to Kudoh?” Ken was riding my last nerve.

 

**Like it would help in this house, ** I shot back. Schuldig snickered at that. **How upset is Aya? ** I asked as I fished out a crumpled pack and shook out a smoke for each of us. Ok, I was provoking Ken a little, sue me.

 

**Ever dump scalding water on a sleeping cat? **

 

**Shit. You sure? ** I knew Aya was beyond furious; homicidal, even. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't suicidal. Ayas were prickly beasts at best.

 

Schuldig cracked open the mental connection and allowed me to feel what Aya was feeling. Rage and embarrassment at being discovered in bed with Schuldig and me boiled through from Aya. He was thinking of some very creative, painful ways of killing both of us. I physically staggered under the dark, heavy thoughts and braced myself against Schuldig for support. I had never felt anything like it in my life. It made my head spin and my guts churn. It was worse than any hangover I'd ever had.

 

**Fuck Schu, block him out, ** I groaned as a massive headache started to build between my eyes.

 

**I'm trying. It shouldn't be this hard. There's something about being with you that makes it damn near impossible to keep either of you out of my head; you in particular.**

 

“Are the two of you just going to stand there and paw each other or are we going to get some answers?” Ken demanded with a disgusted look.

 

**You have somewhere to be. Leave, ** Schuldig ordered Ken as he lit his cigarette.

 

“Stay the fuck out of my head, you bastard. I'm not leaving until I get an explanation for this…this…” Ken growled as he waved his hand to encompass Schuldig, me and the recently departed Aya.

 

“Fine. We need Aya too.” I snapped.

 

“I don't think he's in the mood to talk to anyone. I think he's in the mood to kill. He looked pretty mad,” Omi offered. He looked doubtfully at the mess on my floor.

 

“He doesn't have a choice,” I muttered as I picked my way out of my room and to Aya's.

 

I didn't bother to knock; Aya wouldn't answer anyway. I opened the door and slammed it shut just as quickly, wincing at the heavy thud and crash of whatever he had thrown hitting the door instead of me. Probably my CD player, dammit. Schuldig stood at my back, a warm presence, and rested his hands on my shoulders. He got a far away look in his eyes and his mouth tightened into a flat line.

 

“Now. I've got him,” Schuldig ordered.

 

Ken, who had also followed me into the hall, sputtered. Omi shushed him. Or held him back. I didn't have time to look.

 

I threw the door open and found Aya straining to move his muscles as he and Schuldig warred for mental control. Aya's hand was outstretched and shaking as he tried to reach his sword so he could bury it in whomever he reached first. Going on the assumption he couldn't get much more pissed off, I moved behind Aya and wrapped my arms around him and held him as tight as I could. I looked over to find Schuldig leaning against the doorframe, his face drawn with pain. Ken and Omi watched around Schuldig's shoulder.

 

**Ran, stop it, ** I ordered.

 

“He did it deliberately,” Aya growled as he struggled against my hold.

 

**No, he didn't. Ran stop it, you're hurting him; you're hurting me. **

 

“Good,” Aya snarled as he tried to jam a bony elbow into my ribs.

 

**Think. Why would Schu do something like this on purpose? You know it wasn't intentional. Come downstairs and help me explain this to Ken and Omi. ** I tightened my hold to make him stop trying to hit me.

 

Aya's breath left him in a rush from the squeeze. I waited, hugging him against my chest, until he gave the barest of sullen nods. I could still feel anger and a sense of betrayal from having this secret exposed before he was ready. Fuck, Aya was complicated. It was a good thing I thought he was worth it or I would have washed my hands of him ages ago. I heard Schuldig echo that thought in my head. That surprised me.

 

**Ach, you thought I was spending time with him because of his sunny personality? ** Schuldig asked. **Before you say it, yes, it is more than the fact that he's wild in the sack. We're connected, the three of us. I don't understand how, but it feels right. **

 

I let go of Aya cautiously and stepped back quickly, wary of his next move. He stood rigidly in place for a few seconds before brushing past me and striding down the hall towards the kitchen. I followed, trailed by Schuldig, Ken and Omi. When we got to the kitchen, Aya was leaning against the counter with his arms folded. He radiated hostility.

 

He also looked so fucking beautiful in his anger that I wanted to bend him over the counter and ram into him until he started moaning my name. A mental picture popped into my head of doing just that with Schuldig taking my own ass just as hard. Aya's eyes widened and his nipples tightened into hard little nubs. Schuldig groaned softly behind me. I had to close my eyes briefly and struggle for control to keep from lunging at Aya. When I opened them, Aya was looking at me with absolute malice in his eyes, but his body was telling a different story. He was just as aroused by the mental snippet as Schuldig and I.

 

“I'm going to kill both of you,” Aya spat as he glared at us.

 

“I don't care who it is, but somebody is going to tell Omi and me what the fuck is going on here,” Ken growled as he looked between us.

 

I pulled out a chair and dropped into it. I wanted a coffee to go with the smoke I still hadn't lit but I doubted I'd get it. I patted my pants pockets and swore softly when I couldn't find my lighter. Schuldig leaned over my shoulder, tipped my chin up and pressed the glowing end of his cigarette to mine. It was a strangely intimate thing to do and the effect wasn't lost on either Omi or Ken.

 

**Ran, come over here. We need you with us, ** I said as I pulled smoke gratefully into my lungs.

 

“Fuck off,” Aya snarled.

 

**Ach, stop being such a prick and get that beautiful ass of yours over here. This is hard for Yohji too. **

 

I sent a startled little look at Schuldig. I didn't think he noticed. Aya scowled and remained where he was for a heartbeat longer than necessary, giving the illusion that it had been his idea to come and join us.

 

“What the fuck is going on? You're all quiet and glaring at each other like you're in the middle of an argument,” Ken said as he sat down on the opposite side of the table from us. Omi sat beside Ken and looked at us with those big blue eyes that made you want to tell him everything would be all right.

 

“We are in the middle of an argument,” Schuldig said as he took the final drag on his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray Omi pushed towards him. “Aya didn't want to tell you guys that we were sleeping together. He's a little pissed that you know now.”

 

“How did this happen and how long has it been going on?” Ken asked with anger and a thread of betrayal in his voice. “He forced you guys to do this didn't he?”

 

“I've never had to force anybody to have sex with me,” Schuldig said, offended.

 

“We've been seeing each other for a couple of months,” I offered as I toyed with my smoke. I could feel the anger and betrayal mounting in Aya again. I got the feeling that I had just stepped in it even deeper with Aya. Fuck, the gods hated me. The fury and humiliation roiling off Aya suddenly made my guts clench. I shot a pleading look to Schuldig, glad that I didn't have anything in my stomach.

 

**I can't tune him down any more than I already am. He's never been this angry before with us, ** Schuldig swayed slightly on his feet and looked a little green around the gills himself.

 

Fuck. What the hell was going on? My head pounded and the cigarette was suddenly a very bad idea. I stubbed out the half finished smoke and swallowed hard. I was glad I wasn't Schuldig and having to deal with the full force of Aya's emotions. I would have been puking on my shoes by now.

 

“A couple of months!?” Ken yelled as the chair he was sitting in crashed to the floor when he abruptly stood. “Then, on that last mission, when we ran into him and his little murdering buddies, you guys were already fucking this bastard?”

 

“Ken!” Omi shouted, shocked at the sudden outburst.

 

“You're a fine one to call Schu a murdering bastard. Pot and kettle and all that. We were there to kill that sack of shit too,” I hissed back at Ken, the headache hitting the mother of all headaches level.

 

“You're defending him now? Of course, you're fucking him. What exactly is going on between you three?” Ken looked at Aya. “How could you sleep with the enemy? He can't be that good in the sack.”

 

Schuldig rested slightly trembling hands on Aya's and my shoulders. “It's called a triad, we're not really enemies any more and I am that good in the sack.” He conjured a sickly version of his smirk. “Esset is gone and so is Kritiker. We're all just highly specialized retrieval and clean up agents for the highest bidders now.”

 

 

~Aya~

 

I had been betrayed. I had trusted Schuldig to be gone before the sun, as he usually was, when he came over. I knew Ken would react exactly the way he was to the news that I was sleeping with Schuldig. It would have been better in his world if he had found me screwing the corpse of a dog than willingly sleeping with Schuldig. At least the shock of finding me naked in bed with someone who had been our enemy for so long was keeping him from dwelling on the fact that I had also been in bed with Yohji. I wasn't looking forward to facing that moment.

 

Omi had surprised me with his quiet. I had expected some kind of saddened and wounded look in his eyes that would have been far worse than Ken's anger.

 

“It's called a triad,” mimicked Ken. “You've got a kinky three-way going is what it is.”

 

“You have no idea of the kink involved. Jealous?” Schuldig purred, tightening his grip when I tried to shrug off his hand.

 

Ken flushed beet red and Yohji cringed and swore softly under his breath. Omi frowned at both Ken and Schuldig. “Can we please discuss this like adults? If Schuldig isn't coercing Aya and Yohji, well they are old enough to make their own decisions about who they want to be with.”

 

I was mentally thanking Omi until he continued, making my embarrassment thorough and near terminal.

 

“I think it's done Aya some good. Yohji too. Haven't you noticed that Aya has been more relaxed and a little more outgoing? You can't tell me that you haven't noticed the fact that Yohji doesn't go out every night to party and get drunk.” Omi tried the big blue eyes trick on Ken. “Think, Ken. Ignore the fact that it's Schuldig.”

 

“How the hell am I supposed to ignore the fact that it's Schuldig? How the fuck do you ignore a six foot tall, orange haired German standing shirtless in front of you while he molests two of your team mates who should know better than to sleep with the enemy?” Ken ended on a near shriek.

 

The fact that I had expected this from Ken didn't lessen the hurt and guilt from hearing him say it. He was right, and I was surprised that Omi seemed to be taking this so well. Had Omi suspected something?

 

**Omi is reserving judgement because he had noticed some positive changes the past few months. He was glad that you seemed to be coming out of your shell. He was guessing that it was Yohji's doing. I was a complete surprise, ** Schuldig said gently in my head.

 

“Fuck off Schuldig,” I hissed as I tried to shrug his hand off my shoulder again.

 

**It's what Omi's thinking right now. He thinks if it's been good for you that he shouldn't pass judgement even though he doesn't understand how you could be sleeping with the enemy, ** Schuldig said quietly with conviction in his voice.

 

**Did you really just fall asleep and not wake up in time to leave? ** I asked suspiciously, hating myself for actually asking and believing it hadn't been on purpose.

 

**Ja. It wasn't intentional Aya. I'm a bastard, but I'm not insensitive. I wouldn't have done something like that to you on purpose, I swear. I'll never lie to you Aya. We do have a truce going, remember? **

 

**That's for sharing Yohji, ** I said, confused and keeping to a mental conversation. No matter how pissed I was at Schuldig, there were some things that I didn't want discussed out loud. I also didn't want to remind Ken that I was actually sleeping with two men at the same time.

 

**Schärfe, the truce also covers our side of the relationship, ** Schuldig sighed. **You are, with out a doubt, the most difficult lover I've ever had the pleasure of being with. **

 

I was at a complete loss. I had thought that Schuldig tolerated me because of Yohji. It had never occurred to me that he might actually want to be with me too. Sure there had been a few times that it had been just Schuldig and me in bed but I had always assumed that it was a default choice because Yohji was unable to join us. When I thought about it, I realized that Schuldig was the one that had come to me those times before even approaching Yohji. That it was because he actually wanted to be with me on those occasions floored me.

 

**Why wouldn't I want to have you to myself sometimes? You're a beautiful, fascinating, complicated man Fujimiya Aya. You're a wonderfully responsive lover when you let yourself go and your mind is delicious. Your mind intrigues me just as much as Yohji's. I couldn't be bothered with most people's heads, but you and Yohji are intoxicating. Your mind is lemon ice cream on a hot, sultry summer day. Cool and sharp with a sweet tang that is oh so achingly pleasurable. Yohji is warmth and sensuality like rich honeyed wine and leaves me feeling drunk with the pleasure. Both of you together; it is beyond good. **

 

I became aware of my name being called repeatedly and looked up to the faces staring at me expectantly.

 

“Are you okay Aya? You look… odd.” Omi shot questioning looks at Schuldig.

 

“He's known for fucking with people's heads. That's what he was just doing wasn't it? Are you sure he's not making you do things you don't want to?” Ken asked suspiciously.

 

“No, he's not,” I said, jumping to my feet. I had to get out of there. I was horrified that the secret was out, embarrassed that both Ken and Omi had seen me naked in bed with Yohji and Schuldig; that they knew what we had been doing. Nothing like that had ever happened before. It was all Yohji and Schuldig's fault.

 

**Ran? ** Yohji called after me, pain coloring his thoughts.

 

“Fuck off Yohji. I need to think; alone.”

 

**But you're not. We're with you Aya, ** Schuldig reminded me.

 

“Both of you just fuck off and get out of my head!” I shouted as I all but ran towards my room. God damn them, couldn't they tell they were smothering me? The dam burst on my rage and I let it spill over and flood Yohji and Schuldig. Nothing I could do would stop the torrent they'd - I - had freed.

 

I heard the clatter of a chair being shoved violently followed by the sounds of someone retching. Loud German curses followed me up the stairs and I slammed my bedroom door hard enough to shake the walls. I stood in the middle of my room staring at nothing, breathing hard. Long buried feelings seethed in my head, stronger than I could ever remember. I struggled for control; this fire storm of emotions was vastly out of proportion. It had to have something to do with Schuldig and that damn mental link he had created between the three of us.

 

I knew the person throwing up was Yohji. I knew Schuldig was at a complete loss as to why. I knew he was holding Yohji up over the kitchen sink and fighting to shield him from the anger, betrayal and embarrassment I was feeling. I could feel all of this and know their thoughts through the mental link. I had to get away. I had to leave and find some peace and quiet in my own head. I wanted to feel again but not like this. This was too much at once and my head and my heart ached.

 

I needed my privacy back. I threw on a shirt, grabbed my car keys and ran down the stairs. I flew past a startled Ken and into the garage. I jammed the keys into the ignition and peeled out of the garage, wanting only to get away. Get away from Schuldig's constant presence. Get away from the hurt that had flashed in Yohji's eyes. Get away from the condemnation in Ken's face; the things Omi left unsaid. Mostly, to get away from myself.

 

 

~Schuldig~

 

There was something seriously fucked going on between me and my lovers. I was doing my damnedest to keep Aya's emotions and feelings under control but it was like he was pulling on limitless reserves to hurl all those volatile feelings at Yohji and me. He had been surprisingly strong that first time we had danced in his head; more so the second time, making me aware that he had been practicing. Crafty little bugger. This, though, was something else entirely. This was like Aya had suddenly plugged himself into a mental generator.

 

Yohji was not handling it well. He had a cold rag pressed to the back of his neck and he was an unhealthy chalky colour. He'd already thrown up the little that had been in his stomach but it didn't seem to help. Even I felt a little unsteady on my feet from the onslaught and I knew how to handle mental barrages. What the fuck was going on here?

 

As Aya drove further away from us and out of my range, the onslaught waned. Colour seeped back into Yohji's face and the god awful pressure of trying to keep a lid on Aya eased. As that mental effort eased, I relaxed. I stretched myself mentally and felt my mental shields suddenly snap back into place with an almost audible sound.

 

Fuck, I hadn't realized that they had been down. I was in serious trouble mentally if I couldn't even tell I was wide open. But, I hadn't heard Ken or Omi or the countless other people in the area. Curiouser and curiouser.

 

Yohji leaned against me, still pale. **Help me back to bed Schu. I feel like crap, **

 

I slipped an arm around Yohji and we headed out of the kitchen. Ken stepped between us and the stairs, glaring, his arms folded across his chest. I didn't need this shit and neither did Yohji.

 

**You're late for practice. Leave. Now, ** I planted in Ken's head and watched with a satisfied smirk as he suddenly checked the time and cursed before snatching keys from the counter and rushing out the door. There was the throaty growl of Ken's bike starting up and a squeal of tires. In seconds, he was gone. Now I just had Omi and Yohji to deal with.

 

I was surprised at how small a mental effort was required to send Ken on his way this time when he'd brushed me off before. I was starting to feel vindicated, superhuman, high, even. The headache from Aya was suddenly gone and replaced with an energy that I hadn't felt in ages.

 

Yohji moaned and started to slide down my body, his strength leaving him.

 

Was geht heir ab, verdammte Scheisse?!

 

I start feeling better and Yohji is suddenly weak as a kitten. Omi rushed forward to catch Yohji and I snapped at him to get back. I slung Yohji's arm around my neck and supported him back up the stairs to his bedroom. Omi fluttered around us until I sent a mental prod to get him to leave. It to required so little effort, I almost hurt the kid with too much force.

 

**Why do I feel like this Schu? We've never had this problem before with the link you open between us. I was starting to feel better after Aya left then I was whammied again. **

 

**I don't know Vergnügen. Something was up with Aya. He shouldn't have been that strong. He's been practicing at beating me mentally but it was more than that. Aya just doesn't have that kind of mental power. I don't have that kind of mental power. **

 

**I need to sleep for days. Stay, ** Yohji demanded as he collapsed on the bed.

 

**For a while. I will have to get back home soon. Brad is going to have a fit as it is. **

 

**Fuck him. I need you here to protect me from Ken and Aya; when he gets back, **

 

**Brad just isn't my style, even if he did men, ** I leered.

 

I got no response from Yohji. He was already out. This new little turn of events was going to require some thought and exploration. I climbed into the bed next to Yohji and pulled him close to me. I was wide awake and feeling energized. I felt more than capable to keep Ken and even the inexplicably strong Aya away from Yohji so he could rest and regain the strength that seemed to have been drained out of him.

 

I needed to talk to somebody who knew more about this shit than me. There were precious few who did. The only ones who came to mind right away were Esset, which was out of the question. I wouldn't talk to them if my head was about to explode from mental pressure. I never trusted them and I most certainly wouldn't let them near mein Vergnügen und Schärfe.

 

Brad would know who I could talk to. He might even have some ideas of his own. But, talking to Brad would mean telling him about this relationship. I wouldn't even know where to start looking in his head for the information I wanted. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I could let it go and hope that something like this didn't happen again, but I didn't want to take the risk.

 

I was going to have to confess to Brad.

 

Fuck.

 

 

~Aya~

 

I didn't know where I was going or how long I drove before I noticed that I couldn't feel Schuldig or Yohji in my head any more. I was out of the city. There were only trees and open fields around me. I pulled off the road the first chance I got and left the car. I walked to the scenic outlook and leaned against the rail, breathing in the sea air. I'm sure the view was breathtaking, but I gave it only a passing glance.

 

Ken had every right to be furious with me. I had known that something like this was going to happen when I had agreed to be part of this triad with Yohji and Schuldig. I didn't want to fuck up the team and if Ken had found out about us a couple of months ago, I would have stopped sleeping with Schuldig. It would have been harder to stop sleeping with Yohji but I could have done it too.

 

I was in too deep now. I didn't want to give them up. I couldn't give them up. I loved Yohji. I was happy and felt wanted when I was with him. Schuldig didn't make me happy like Yohji but I suspected he wanted to be with me. If I was honest, I wanted to be with him too. Schuldig pushed me and annoyed me and made me feel alive with his constant challenges for Yohji's attention and affection. Schuldig forced me to feel and Yohji rewarded me for feeling. I needed them.

 

I had no idea how I was going to make things right with Ken. I knew what he wanted; what he expected me to do. I was going to disappoint him, however. I was going to keep sleeping with my lovers. It would be tense for a while but I trusted Ken to be professional enough to keep his personal feelings out of the way during missions. Omi could probably help with that. Omi seemed willing to be supportive of our relationship. I would have to speak with Omi when I got back home about trying to smooth Ken's ruffled feathers.

 

I may as well take Omi into my confidence, after this morning I was painfully aware my private life was now public knowledge.

 

 

German to English translations:

Ja = yes

Was geht heir ab, verdammte Scheisse?! = What the fuck was going on?! (loosely translated)