Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Insensitive ❯ Insensitive ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or Insensitive, by Jann Arden. Don't sue, you can't liquidate lint, which is all I own.

Pairing: YoujixAya obviously yaoi what with a male/male pairing and an R!!! and of course the romance category…it all sorta seems to fit

Rating: R

Lyrics

Insensitive

How do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?

Aya's lips felt like fire as Youji released them from the lip lock to let his travel down to his neck, a distraction from the penetration with little preparation. They tingled and he smiled slightly as he licked his lips and moaned. They tasted like Youji…

How do you rid the sweat after the body bliss?

Youji threw Aya a damp towel to wipe off the mess he made on himself. It wasn't enough. He wanted a shower. He didn't want to smell like Youji. He needed to get clean, because smelling like Youji would make him think of Youji and that wasn't productive. Nothing would come of thinking of Youji outside of sex. This was just sex.

How do you turn your eyes from the romantic glare?

He sat up, ready to leave, to go back to his apartment. And this time he would make it there. He wouldn't fail in the wake of Youji's gaze like last time, or the time before that. But then Youji caught his eyes with those sparkling emeralds and all his willpower vanished. Those eyes had so much power over him. He couldn't look away until Youji did, the taller man smirking slightly. He wouldn't do this! Firmed once again in his resolve, he got up, making sure to look anywhere but Youji, staring at the floor, in search of his clothes, edging towards the door.

How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere?

"Aya." He stopped, trying to erase that smooth voice from his mind and his heart…no just his mind. His heart had nothing to do with this; he hadn't sold his soul to Youji either. It was just the way Youji said his name, not even his name really but that was a moot point at the moment. It was with that voice that said that if he left now, he wouldn't be allowed back in next time, and he knew, with every part of everything that was Aya and the small part of him that was Ran, that he wasn't willing to give that up, even if it was just sex for Youji.

Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home

And later, just before the dawn, Youji would get up, have his early morning cigarette, wake Aya up, and drop him off at his apartment. He never really understood that part, just Youji used to treating women chivalrously most likely. It wasn't like they lived that far apart, both in walking distance to the flower shop. So Aya sat there, staring out the window, trying to ignore the presence beside him…

By the vagueness in your eyes

He remembered waking up early, or maybe Youji had just been a bit late in the getting him up part. But he remembered the dreaminess in Youji's eyes as he threw the filter out the window and turned to him. Aya wondered at that, couldn't help but wonder what or who Youji had been thinking about, he knew he shouldn't, that it was dangerous but so was having a relationship with his teammate. Even a relationship that lacked emotions. Good God, he was fooling himself.

Your casual goodbyes

"See you at the shop then." Aya turned to look at Youji, slightly incredulously as the car rolled in front of his apartment. And people thought he was unfeeling, at least he didn't fuck people and then fuck with them by saying mundane comments like `see you in the shop.' But no, he couldn't fault Youji. He never really could, no matter how much he tried. Youji didn't know anything about how his indifferent replies affected him, just like he didn't know what them having sex meant to him…

By the chill in your embrace

Youji reached over a kissed him, almost as if to make up for the comment. But the kiss lacked the heat their lip-locks normally held. Youji was preoccupied, with what, Aya didn't know. But it hurt, to be so easily pushed aside, when he wasn't needed anymore. And unlike normal, Aya broke the kiss and slipped out, not looking back, walking up to the apartment, to take that shower. He found he didn't care as much as he had that night. The shower wouldn't wash anything away anyway.

The expression on your face

As he opened the door though, he couldn't help but glimpse back, and looked at Youji again. The man was sitting there, watching him, a slight frown that was seen more in his eyes than gracing his lips, entire countenance troubled. But then he shrugged and looked away back toward the road, started off his car and drove off. Leaving Aya in the doorway of his haven, wanting to be back with Youji, praying that wasn't the last time he would be dropped off at dawn and at the same time, praying it was.

That told me maybe you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive, insensitive, insensitive

As Aya stood, unmoving in the shower, letting the water wash over him, he wondered if he could get his ice back up in time to deal with the shop. He knew Youji would act fine, flirt with girls and Ken and Omi but not with Aya, never with Aya. He would act like Aya and him had nothing going on which of course they didn't because it was just sex. But still, when they were alone, couldn't he act a little less like it was a chore or just something to wear him out until Youji had no more nightmares? The blond, with all his charms, could be so…insensitive sometimes.
But life would go on, and his life and the lack of love in it were not important. What was important was Aya-chan's recovery, and revenge for his family. And maybe after that, love might come…

How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch?

Aya stared at Youji, as Youji traced his lip with his finger, trying to ignore the gentleness in the act. Trying to remember that Youji didn't really care, he was just very good at deluding people, pleasing people. That he was a playboy and this could never, ever last…no matter how much he wanted it too, he looked away, turning his head and therefore his lips away from Youji's touch.

How do you slow your blood after the body rush?

He laid his head down on Youji's chest and could feel his pounding heartbeat. It was just from the physical exertion of sex. It wasn't…it had nothing to do with…Aya's proximity to Youji. Youji wasn't nervous, there was no reason for Youji to be nervous; it was just casual sex.

How do you free your soul after you've found a friend?

As Youji fell asleep, his arms wrapped around Aya and Aya thought, that just maybe, he would be happy staying here forever. He could probably delude himself into thinking…but no. You can't live in a moment and they both had responsibilities and Youji probably wouldn't be too happy with that anyway.

But… if Aya were of the kind who was foolish enough to dream and believe in those dreams, this would be the dream he would have.

How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?

But that would be stupid because a moment couldn't last. And when the moment ended, as all moments do, nothing would be able to compare to it, everything would be a disappointment. Aya had been hurt too often, too deeply too fall into a trap like that. He couldn't live in Youji's eyes, Youji wouldn't appreciate it anyway…he wasn't the clingy type or the emotional kind.

Oh you probably won't remember me

Later on in life, if they ever got out of this one, Aya knew he would just be another one of Youji's conquests in the playboy's mind. He didn't want that, but that wouldn't make it not true. He supposed he might be singled out, as he was around longer than most one night stands. But then again, probably not. He wasn't one of those gorgeous women that would stand out in Youji's mind; he was just an icy man with a girl's name.

It's probably ancient history

Aya remembered the first time Youji had asked him. That first time was the only time, Youji had ever been that gentle. Of course, Youji might have known it was Aya's actual first time, but Youji wasn't known to be considerate once the doors were closed. Well, not good at being considerate to the emotional needs, the physical ones he was quite capable at it. But it had gotten increasingly less tender and more and more desperate. He wondered if Youji had even noticed the change.

I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you

Youji mumbled something in his sleep and tightened his grip. Aya lifted his head up to see the elegant face, and just disturbed Youji more as the man noticed him pulling away from him to get a better look. Youji's eyes rushed open and Aya thought, not for the first time that one could loose himself in those eyes. He supposed, finally accepting reality, that he already had.

I'm out of vogue I'm out of touch

Once the blonde's eyes regained their focus, he let go of Aya, trying to edge away somewhat. Aya took the hint and lifted his head, letting Youji slide out with ease, not trying to stop him except with the worry in his eyes. Aya suddenly wished desperately that he left before; he felt so out of place now, so unwanted…

I fell too fast I feel too much

But he let Youji go, let him do what he wanted, as Aya always did. He was always one of those people who, having fallen in love, would do anything for that person. He would love Youji with every beat of his heart, every breath in his lung, every fibber in his soul, for all the time his mind was capable of. And Youji would never know, because this relationship, if you could call it that, would not last his love, as nothing else had or would.

I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive

So he would just hope Youji would either break his heart now, and let him try and pick up the pieces or ignore the love in his eyes and just continue what they were doing. Both ideas would be…insensitive on Youji's part, but they would be better then some discussion on how Youji couldn't return his feelings, not that he would ever want to hurt Aya or something idiotic and embarrassing like that…

Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home

By the time Youji drove him home, those few hours later, when they had separated for the first time since the beginning of their relationship, he had made a decision.

By the vagueness in your eyes

Aya wasn't going to try and figure out that pensive expression in those emeralds.

Your casual goodbyes

Aya wasn't going to take offence to Youji's comment that they would see each other in a few hours.

By the chill in your embrace

Aya wasn't going to worry about the detach manner of which Youji hugged him.

The expression on your face

Aya wasn't going to explain his kiss to Youji's cheek just to erase the baffled look on that beautiful face.

That told me maybe you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive, insensitive, insensitive

Aya had decided,despite what everyone said of him, that he could learn a few things from Youji about being insensitive.

Thanks for reading! I'm considering doing a Youji pov. Since a few people have asked for it! Tell me what you think! Or don't. your choice!