Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Liebesträume (Dreams of Love) ❯ Epilogue ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Just a little reminder to readers, please: This is a work of fanfiction. The opinions and observations as expressed by the characters in this piece of work, should not be construed as opinions and observations shared by the author.

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DISCLAIMER: Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß hold the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of Weiß kreuz.  All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.

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Liebesträume
(Dreams of Love)
Based on the fic: Unterbewusst (Subliminal) by Chalcedony Cross

Epilogue
By Jacque Koh
March 2003
@>;-'-

Utsusemi, Kagerou, and Yuugiri visited Ken as often as they could. So did Omi. The younger man had told him that it was easier to meet up now that he was posted back to Tokyo. It made Ken feel very foolish about having previously thought that Omi was avoiding him as much as Yoji and Ran were. To put things in perspective, he should have considered that it was already a great honor for Persia to take time off from his busy schedule to journey to Tokyo to see Ken as often as he did, while he had been stationed in Kyoto.

Yoji and Ran-- They had reasons for their distance; reasons which Ken couldn't blame them for. Still, they did send him an occasional arrangement of flowers and a few books during his covalence. He was heartened to recognize Bellflowers, Lavender, Purple Leaf Plum and Pink Hydrangea with Columbine in the latest arrangement.± From what he understood of the flower language, they had wished him well and expressed gratitude to him. He held out a hope that Ran would include a yellow rose in a future arrangement. Ken supposed that it was Ran who selected the books of poetry for him too. If it were up to Yoji, Ken could guess that he'd send something tasteless like "Dating 101" or "Dating for Dummies."

Ken gave himself a sharp rap on the hand for his unkind thoughts of the man. He had to stop resenting Yoji for winning Ran's love. Building up hate and resentment within him for something that wouldn't change only served to poison his mind. That was what Schuldig used as an anchor to control him.

When he thought of it, Ken couldn't believe how incredibly lucky he had been. By rights, Schuldig should have been able to turn his mind to mush before he could even think to move a hand against him. Not that the man hadn't tried; Ken's head had ached for weeks following that day. He supposed the strength of insanity had done a lot to shield him from greater harm.

It was peaceful at the institute, and Ken was enjoying his stay. For the first time in nearly two years, he could say that he was finally comfortable and at peace with himself. He was almost reluctant to leave, but his doctors told him that he could be ready to rejoin the outside world in a couple of weeks.

Kagerou was already planning his welcome back party. He was promising Ken that there would be lots of food and beer, and that they were inviting several special people who had missed seeing him at the bar they often frequented together. That bit of news surprised Ken. He hadn't noticed. Kagerou smacked him upside the head for his obliviousness, causing Utsusemi to scold him for his abuse of a certified 'head-case'. Ken was looking forward to returning home.

He noticed the dignified man approaching him from ten meters off. If he was a suspicious man, Ken might have felt worried about the arrival of Brad Crawford, but he didn't feel a need for alarm. In fact, he had to confess a deep desire to bust out laughing at the American's appearance. With the monocle and slicked back silver hair, the man reminded him of the German Colonel in an old American comedy; If he remembered the improbable comedy, which was situated in a POW camp, the Colonel's name was Klink. Ken could very well imagine that a young Commandant Klink, could look exactly like Crawford. It made him wonder if Crawford had any inkling whether or not he'd go bald.

"It looks good on you." In contrast to his words Crawford's expression was disapproving, as if he had guessed Ken's train of thought.

Ken unconsciously reached up to touch the hat he now owned. It was a nice hat. He couldn't quite remember who gave it to him though. He nodded as the man knelt to take a seat beside him on the grass. They silently sat side by side for a long while, doing nothing more than enjoy the shade of the tree and watch the ducks swimming around the lake.

Ken was finding it rather hard to control his mirth as he fingered his hat. He kept thinking of how the hat he had bore some slight resemblance to the American Colonel's cap in the said comedy. If he recalled it correctly, the Colonel also had blue eyes like him. All he needed to get was a flight jacket and he could have his new look. Crawford would never want to keep his company if he managed to pull it off.

Feeling a bit of 'heat' by the side of his face, Ken looked towards his companion to find him scowling at him. "I do not look like Klink."

Ken was shocked to be found out. Crawford rolled his eyes at him in disgust. "I am not a mind reader, but you were humming the tune to 'Hogan's Heroes', Hidaka. And-- your hat is very different to the one worn by Colonel Hogan."

"Should I be surprised that you watched old American comedies?" Ken smirked at him, not the least bit embarrassed to be busted.

"No more than I that you would know such a comedy existed." Crawford lifted an eyebrow at him in curiosity. "I've heard that it, improbably, gained a fan following in Germany, of all places, but I didn't know it showed in Japan."

"Discovered it on the internet." Ken shrugged. "Was bouncing around some English sites with amateur movies. What this site had weren't my style, but I found a reference to the star's mainstream work. Could have knocked me for a loop to learn that his most famous serious work was in a comedy that ran for six seasons."

"Well, the rest of the world was shocked in the other way.‡" Crawford snorted before he turned to look at Ken. "I'm still surprised no one in Kritiker knows about your illicit interests in gay porn."

Ken chuckled. "I can be discrete. Besides, as long as it doesn't hurt anyo--" They fell into an awkward silence. Ken swore to himself that he was going to burn his gay bondage magazines and all the jotter books of photo manipulations that he kept in the back of his drawers.

The quiet was starting to get distinctly uncomfortable before Ken finally decided to take the opportunity Crawford was presenting to satisfy his curiosity. "You let him die, didn't you?" Ken asked. The man was a precognitive; he couldn't not have known that Schuldig would die in his confrontation with him.

"He wouldn't leave your team alone, Hidaka." Crawford sighed as he stared ahead unseeingly. "Like I told you in the park, Schwarz doesn't need to have another organization after it. I can handle Eszet. Persia is another matter all together. Being a neutral party, if not ally, is less stressful. And he also does well to keep Eszet from ever establishing a base in Japan again."

Ken coughed in understanding for Crawford's respect towards Omi. Weiß3 had known through their time with him that he was born to be Persia. It was good when the younger man had finally accepted his fate to follow the footsteps of his father and grandfather. In the end, his friend had to acknowledge the Takatori blood in him and embrace his destiny.

"I warned Schuldig--" Crawford sighed again, interrupting Ken from his reverie. "Tried to discourage him-- Persia knew. He had a price…"

Ken turned to stare at Crawford in shock. "Schuldig? You sacrificed your own--"

"As I told you previously, his attack on you was not sanctioned." Crawford growled angrily. "He did not count as Schwarz anymore when he started putting his personal amusement above the interests of the team."

Ken hugged his legs to him and stared at his feet. It all started to make sense to him now. Schwarz lived a charmed life because Crawford protected them. He could look into the future and prevent them from doing anything that might lead to their deaths. If he hadn't decided to let Schuldig die…

"By rights, no one should have been able to kill a telepath." Crawford's voice intruded on his reverie again. "He would know what you are thinking and can move with the speed of thought."

Ken looked towards the American in curiosity, wondering what he was trying to say.

"Only an insane man would have had a chance to surprise him."

Ken looked away with a blush. Then a thought struck him. "Crawford, you-- you stopped him from bothering Ran and Yoji-- didn't you?"

"--which prompted him to turn his attention to you." Crawford grudgingly nodded. "He gambled and he lost."

Ken's head whipped back to stare at Crawford. It explained a lot of things. His vivid daydreams, the 'chance' meetings he suddenly had to discover where Ran and Yoji was. It wasn't so much coincidence as it was planned manipulation on the telepath's part. "He-- said that he liked the taste of my mind."

"He liked your agony and angst." Crawford agreed. "He liked keeping you off balanced and thinking of your past losses.

"Schuldig once explained to me that a mind in depression tasted like honey to him…"

"But-- when he pushed me too far-- He couldn't read my mind through the insanity…" Ken said softly to himself. "He didn't know what I'd do and I caught him by surprise."

"Not exactly." Crawford shook his head. "When your mind snapped, he got caught in the maelstrom. That gave you the time to get your hands on him."

Ken turned to look at Crawford with narrowed eyes. "You knew all that?"

Crawford came to his feet and looked down at Ken. "His pettiness was a danger to Schwarz, and he stood in the way of change. I have to think of the future of Schwarz above everything else."

"Crawford--"

"Thank you, Hidaka, and goodbye. I don't see us meeting again."

"Crawford! Damn you, you bastard." Ken scrambled to his feet in anger. "You used me too."

"I gave you advice and a chance to leave the past and move on, Hidaka. Schuldig would have failed to engage you if you had been willing to end that chapter in your life. He would even have left you and your ex-colleagues alone eventually."

Seeing how Ken still glared at him angrily, Crawford removed his monocle with a sigh and polished it before putting it back on and speaking again. "If your mind had not snapped, there would have been a re-enactment of those two weeks, except this time Fujimiya would have died from the abuse. Kudou would have executed you for your part in it when he finds you with his lover's body and Schwarz-- Let us just say that your new leader is far more formidable than the original Persia. And he is not above using what resources he can muster to seek revenge."

Ken gulped at the news of the fate he had just averted. "Can-- can you tell me something?"

Crawford frowned before waving a hand at him in dismissal. "They will forgive you with time."

Ken nodded in thanks before he sat on the grass again. "Hidaka." He looked up in surprise to see the American still there. "The hat's impractical. Get a pair of goggles and wear them this time."

Ken lifted an eyebrow at the man for his suggestion, but Crawford didn't look back as he walked away. Taking the hat off, Ken studied it critically. He had to admit that it was good advice. With his fighting style, there would be no guarantee he could keep the hat on his head in an all out melee. Sighing with a bit of regret, Ken threw the hat to the ducks. The groundskeeper would probably come after him for littering, but it amused him to watch the waterfowl attack and toss the ugly thing around.

A change sounded good. Get a haircut-- not so god awfully short like Yoji, but something different. He had a mind to have white as the main theme in his new mission gear. It may be impractical for blood baths, but Ken did know that he looked pretty good in white.

Leaning against the tree, Ken closed his eyes. Life was good. He could feel completeness within him to realize that he could move on, knowing that he hadn't lost his friends. It gave him heart to be assured that somewhere in the future he had a hope that they'd come together again for a reunion of friendship.

For now though, he let himself drift off and dream; of a faceless lover who could accept him for who he was and return his love, iota for iota.

< style="text-decoration: underline;">.Jacque's Author's Notes:

±  Flower meanings & the meanings Ken read in the arrangement:

Bellflowers - gratitude, return of a friend is desired, constancy, aspiring;

Lavender - luck, success, happiness, distrust, devotion, soothes the passions of the heart, ardent attachment;

Purple Leaf Plum - duty through hardship;

Pink Hydrangea - remembrance, boastfulness, devotion;

Columbine - resolved to win, folly, desertion, I cannot give Thee up!, gifts of the Holy Spirit;

Yellow Rose - friendship, forgive and forget, highest mark of distinction, jealousy, unfaithful, decrease of love on better acquaintance.

Source: Laufer, Geraldine Adamich. Tussie-Mussies. New York: Workman Publishing, 1993

 

‡  With reference to the private life of Bob Crane, who acted as Colonel Robert Hogan in Hogan's Heroes. The late Bob Crane was an amateur photographer and videographer, and had been making short adult films since 1956. You can do a Google search on Bob Crane to find the articles. His son, Scotty Crane runs the site http://bobcrane.com, which distributes his films and photographs.