Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Masato Takahashi ❯ 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or any of the characters

Pairing: Aya x Ken (hinted - almost - well - anyway)

Part 2/3

"Talk to me. Damn it, TALK TO ME, RAN!"

Aya's movement froze when Ken called him by his name. What was that? How did he know? What was happening here? Aya bit on his bottom lip and for the first time in a long time he had the feeling that he had lost the control. Ran. Ken knew his name. Would the structure 'Aya', which he had built up for so long, had maintained for so long, collapse? Slowly Aya turned around, tried to hold his view as icy as possible, but he knew that he wasn't able to conceal the shock and the confusion.

"Duh!" Ken provocatively craned his chin, as he looked, from his place on the ground, up to Aya. "What's the matter, Ran? Did you see a ghost? Maybe the ghost of the past?" Ken giggled softly, when he saw Aya's appalled look and sipped at his glass.

"Still tired, Ran?" With a mischievous smile, Ken tapped on the place Aya had sat before, but Aya made no move to follow his invitation. Instead he suppressed a grudge, which threatened to well up in him, and concentrated on maintaining his composure.

"I prefer to stand."
"Suit yourself." For some time it remained quiet between them both. Ken had started the ball rolling, however he knew not whether he would like the way this evening would take. He only knew that he was not able to let the matter rest. He wasn't able to simply go to bed, turn his back on the gnawing thoughts and anxieties that were aroused in him. He wasn't able to carry on with this and watch how Aya lived alongside them. The probability that a gun failed was so slight. So slight. What, if Aya didn't return from the next mission?

What should he say? What should he tell? What should he remember? What would he remember? Who was Aya? Would she understand?

"I can't force you to talk to me, to talk to us, but I can try, or can't I, Aya?" Ken's view was again concentrated on an empty point as he sipped at his glass.

 

Aya was still, as though he were paralysed, when he fixed his eyes on his team mate. With an icy look he tried to spear him, to force him to disappear, to tell him, how he knew. He had tried for so long to maintain his farce, had hidden behind it, felt safe. Safe from feelings, or emotions that these three young men were able to inspire in him. In Ran. Ran, who, for such a long time, no longer existed, no longer for the world, merely just for him. Hidden behind Aya. He couldn't simply go now, or could he? Slowly he released the breath he seemed to have held and returned to the place next to Ken.

"Talk." with inexpressive face he dropped onto the sofa and took his glass, which he had left before.
"Hn…" there was no denying that Ken wasn't adaptive. He lived already long enough together with the introverted redhead. "It was so easy for me … just now, as I thought about it … before you came and now … I don't know, where I should begin." slowly Ken's view seemed to return from the nothingness he was in and looked up. Blue, almost already violet eyes, fixed him, tried to conceal all emotions that were hidden behind them.

"Start with, why I'm here." was the deep voice of Aya to hear.
"Because I would like to talk to you."
"So you said. What about?"
"About us … about Weiß … about …"
"Where do you know it from?" interrupted Aya as he set down his glass and gave Ken a frowning look.

"Manx. Manx told me, in fact had confirmed it. I had read your file, at that time, when you came to us. At the day after our … 'encounter' … in the Koneko." Ken rubbed his chin, lost in his thought. That had been a day. He never would have reckoned that he would see this man again, this man, whom he had met at that time on the roof. A man? No more than a boy, with such embittered eyes that Ken never had seen before. He was too caught up to his own sight, too enchained, than to undertake something. "I knew your name from the beginning, your real name. Manx said that since we already had such a 'good' start …, I should also know who you are." a sigh escaped Ken, that rival the attempt of a laughter.

"Why …" Aya still remembered that day well. God, had his bones ached at that time. He had woken up in a room that had been totally strange to him fixed up and guarded by a man who was also totally strange to him. Nevertheless his first thought drifted to that young man he had to owe his condition. He didn't wonder, who the man at his bed was, that man who named him Aya, whose room it was, whose bed, the only thoughts that entertained his mind were about the boy with the brown hair. Aya still remembered well, he mentally smiled at the thought of the events of that day. did good. It did so damned good. "… have you never said something?"

"Why should I have? It was your choice to let us belief your name is really Aya, as strange as it was for us. God, which parents name their son Aya. Omi and Yoji never called that into question again since your first encounter, although they had second thoughts. I thought that one day the moment would come in which you would tell us the truth, that one day the day would come, when you trust us insofar as to show us your true self, that you tell us, whom we had entrusted our life all the time, who the man is, who entrusted us his life. But the day didn't come." Ken's voice became softer and softer, more and more unsteady and again his eyes sought a point far away. "Don't you trust us? Don't you trust me, Ran?"

The quiet, that followed Ken's question, was back-breaking. Aya tightened all his muscles, as he brooded over the words he had heard just now from Ken. That can't really be. He had neither the power nor the will to deal with this. Not now. Not tomorrow, not before he had reached his goal. But what should he do? Get up? Leave? Let the matter rest? Pin down Hidaka Ken with his patented glare and force him to never talk about that again? Pin down … hmmm …

"I cannot speak for Ran. I don't know Ran any more." Now there was no way back for Aya. He had given way to his internal pressure, his instinct, the entire situation without a struggle. What should he have done? Deny it? Separate the bond that unmistakably seemed to exist between him and the other Weiß-members? Return to the origin, to the day before he had met Ken and the others?
"Oh really?" the sarcastic undertone was like a slap in Aya's face.

"Ran is like a … spectator … a spectator in the last tier … he knows nothing, he …" Aya interrupted. He didn't know, what he should say. Trembling he grasped the glass of whiskey and downed it. Oh yes, there was nothing like the burning feeling that welled up and let one forget everything else, at least for a split second. Ran.

Ken had observed that otherwise so silent man, watched closely each of his reactions and the changes in the blue, almost already violet eyes, remained not concealed. What was it? Grief? Sorrow? Fear? Resignation?

"Where have you been, Aya?"
"Don't you know that already?"
"I would like to hear it from you." Aya observes with tired eyes how Ken refilled his glass on the table with whiskey. A part of him wanted to get up, simply wanted to disappear, wanted to punish Ken for his curiosity, his incomparable type, which Aya had never seen otherwise by someone else and against which he couldn't protect himself, wanted to beat him, send him in unconsciousness, like that time, that time when they met the second time.
"I was out."
"Sure." again Ken sighed and suppressed a depreciative smile. It was a silly thing to believe that he was able to get Aya to speak to him. To really speak. The fact that he spoke about Ran, at least for a brief moment, was already more than Ken had hoped for. Nevertheless … would he ever really know him? Aya …

What should he say? What should he tell? What should he remember? What would he remember? Who was Aya? Would she understand?

"I was scared. God, I was so scared, Aya."
"What of?"
"That he shoots you. In front of our eyes. In front of my eyes and I could do nothing to prevent it. God, I thought that would be your end. I thought I would never see you again." Aya observes the change in Ken's facial expression, the change of his eyes as they seemed to stare on an invisible point on the table, lost in thoughts, empty and a glint that let him swallow. Masato Takahashi.

This mission also didn't get past Aya without a hint. That evening, that mission … he himself had thought his life would be finished in that moment when Masato pressed the gun against his forehead, in that moment, when he fired. Aya's thoughts came thick and fast, turning over in his mind. The entire situation seemed to pass by in slow motion. His parents, the trip with his sister, the death of his parents, the car, Aya, Takatori, coma, Aya, Kritiker, the encounter on the roof, Ken, the Koneko, Ken, Takatori, Ken, Aya, Yoji, Omi, … Ken … Aya … Ken …

"He failed to do so."
"Yes… this time." Ken's voice could hardly be heard. Again he saw the pictures of the mission, that moment in which he had fired and Ken thought it was the last time he would see Aya alive. "What's next time? What should I say? What?"
"…"
"What should I tell, Ran?"
"…"
"You don't understand it, do you? What, Ran, what?"

Crimson strands covered blue, almost violet eyes, when Aya shook his head slowly. He didn't understand. He didn't understand, what Ken wanted to say, what that was supposed to mean, but he was afraid to inquire, afraid he could hear something he didn't want to hear. He should get up. Simply go. Forget everything and leave Ken until tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was good. Tomorrow was another day. A new day. A new beginning. Wasn't it?

"Iie." Came the shy replay from the redhead. His gaze rested on Ken's hands, observed how Ken played with the glass, sending the contents into symmetrical courses. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was another day, wasn't it?

"Where have you been, Aya?"
"…"
Again Ken refilled both glasses, replacing the already half empty bottle again next to him and pondered for a moment.
"Did you know that Omi was abducted? Before his time with Weiß. When he was a child, no more than a child, who believed the world was all right? Did you know?" Again the redhead shook his head.
"Yea… Omi was abducted. He was no more than a child. An anxious child, that hoped to be rescued by those, who he thought loved him. Do you know what happened?" this question was mere rhetorical, nevertheless he observed the quiet man inquiring.
"Nothing. Nothing happened. At least nothing that Omi would have expected. What each would have expected. Nobody came. Nobody from his family came for him. He was rescued by a man, a man who was a total stranger." Ken pursed his lips lost in thoughts, breathed deeply, before he continued. "Persia. It was Persia. I don't know why, but he was there. Sometimes Omi talks in his sleep. He often has a restless sleep, that I can say. I've known him for such a long time now." again Ken's voice trailed off in memories and nothingness. "However … that you certainly knew already."

Again Aya was overwhelmed by the sarcasm and the bitterness in Ken's voice. Aya knew that Omi had suffered something bad, something, that again and again robed his sleep, but didn't know what. Should he have known, should he have noticed it? Should he have been interested? Yes, he should have. He knew that the youngest of the Weiß-members had a bad past, each of them had, but Aya never was about to pay their pasts enough attention. Why should he? He had his own problems. They were all old enough. They were all God damned murderers. They were doomed to live together, to kill together, and to suffer together. Every man is the architect of his own fate. Isn't he?

"Iie." again Aya wasn't able to say more than this simple word. He was too caught up in his thoughts, in his emotions, that this conversation bore.
"Have you ever thought about?"
"About what?"
"About us? About Yoji, about Omi… About me?"
"Hai."
"Have you ever thought about who we are? Where we come from, what our story is?"
"Aa."
"To which conclusion have you come?"

For some time Aya thought about it. His gaze lost itself on Ken's chest, while he stared into space. To which conclusion? He knew nothing about Omi's past, until now that is. But he knew Yoji's and Ken's. Yet Omi's example showed Aya that there were so many things, so many inconsistencies … he knew that Yoji was no more a Playboy than he tried to let others believe. He knew that the oldest of Weiß was at heart a caring and honest man who was more brother than a colleague for the others. He knew that Ken's unencumbered and cheerful type was only a facade. He knew that Ken had lost this cheerful nature somewhere along the way. At some point when the fire nearly had devoured him. However only when Kase again broke the trust and delivered the harsh blow to the honest type of Ken had the young man lost his ego. Aya was able to observe how Ken backed more and more out, how he would commute his once honest smile into a part of his façade, a mask he seemed to carry since then and he hated Kase for that, for what he had destroyed in Ken. Sometimes … sometimes a simple gesture, a gesture which apparently seemed to mean so much for the brunette, could break through the structure of this mask and what appeared took Aya again and again the breath away in fascination.

Aya had to admit that he loved it. He loved it … to observe the Playboy, how he stood in the store and sorted the `green, young things' from the 'ripe fruit', how he got Omi and Ken to blush with his quick tongue, or in Ken's case also sometimes to go overboard.

He loved Omi's openness, his innocence, that he apparently never had lost in spite of it all, his large blue eyes that were able to conceal nothing, his strange tie to his computer. A hardly noticeable smile flashed over Aya's lips. //Cybersex//
And Ken. He loved Ken for his … for … for … for no other reason then hat he was Ken. That he never concealed his emotions, never lied, and never gave up no matter what came, something Aya couldn't do any longer. He loved him for that. That he was with all his heart on the ball, no matter what it was. He coached his kids with hundred percent enthusiasm, he hated Schwarz hundred percent, he gave hundred percent on a mission, he was hundred percent friend, he tripped over a flowerpot in the shop hundred percent, he couldn't cook hundred percent, he stood hundred percent by himself and Weiß and he drove Aya every time hundred percent crazy. He loved Ken for Ken. Again a short smile flashed over Aya's lips. Ken.

"That I need you?"

And he hated it when Yoji got drunk, when he went clubbing and didn't come home until the early morning hours. He hated to know that this was Yoji's way to escape his thoughts. He hated to know that he could do nothing against it. He had his own problems to deal with. Besides they were all old enough to handle their own. Weren't they?
And he hated it that Omi lived a double life. Everyone lived one nevertheless they could pay one life more attention than the other. Omi on the other hand … during the day Omi was a student, a student like everyone else, in his spare time Omi was a Florist who loved his job, and at night Omi was an assassin. Omi was forced to carry his cheerful mask day in, day out. But he had his own problems to deal with. Besides they were all old enough to handle their own. Weren't they?
And Ken … he hated the look in Ken's wonderful eyes when he killed, he hated the emptiness which spread out in them each time. He hated it when Ken cried in the night, cried because of Kase, because of his missed life, because of Yoji and Omi, and, like last night, because of him. He hated it when Ken was forced to lie about himself, about Yoji, Omi.. about Aya.

“Do you do that?"

Did he? For whom did he speak? For Aya? For Ran? Who was it that sat with Ken in the dark of the house and said that he needed them, all of them? Was it Ran, who after so long availed himself of the opportunity of showing that he still existed, that he hadn't died at that time with his parents? Or was it Aya, who weakened after such a long time exhausted and no longer willing to keep the distance to his teammates, to those men with whom he had experienced so much already? Wasn't Aya Ran and wasn't Ran entitled to be heard?

"Aa."
"Where have you been, Aya?"
"Why are you so interested in where I was?"
"What should I say?"
"To whom?"
"What should I tell?"
"To whom, Ken, whom?"
"Her."

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Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and take care.

Greets
Caffreys