Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Masato Takahashi ❯ 3 ( Chapter 3 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: caffreys 
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 04.22.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.9K | Visits: 191 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 04.22.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.9K | Visits: 191 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: as always … not mine!
Pairing: Aya x Ken (hinted - almost - well - anyway)
Part 3/3
Here is the last part! Enjoy it!
Pairing: Aya x Ken (hinted - almost - well - anyway)
Part 3/3
Here is the last part! Enjoy it!
-----------------------------------
It was a question that Ken had never deliberately asked himself until yesterday, until this mission. He knew, what he could tell about Omi or who Yoji was should ever something happen to one of them. But Aya … what should he say? He was a good leader, always kept a cool and level head? He was a person who loved order, money, and privacy? He was a man of few words and owner of a compulsory gun licence glare? Wow! And yet, for that matter, why not also that Aya had probably the most beautiful and most mysterious eyes Ken had ever seen and what he thought about the rest … was something Ken would probably never tell Aya or anyone else for that matter.
"We've all, more or less, a reason why we're in Weiß, why we're bothering to do this day after day. Each has another story, a story that brought him to Weiß. Omi through Persia who had rescued him years ago, Yoji had lost Asuka, had gotten into troubles and if not for Kritiker he would certainly no longer be alive. I was dead to the world, burned in the blaze that my once best friend had set in order to kill me and had nothing left to go or to live for. We've sold our souls to Kritiker without the right of withdrawal. We all do our best to survive and try to make the world a little better. The price for that is high and we all pay it, but never the less we do it! What's your reason, your motivation, Aya?"
"…" It wasn't as if Aya didn't want to say something, he only couldn't. What should he answer to that? Of course Ken knew the answer to that, he had to or else Aya wouldn't be here, but he couldn't say it. What did Ken expect of him? He wasn't ready to speak about that, not ready to give up on his protective barrier behind his mask and to step forward. Should he answer him his structure would collapse, he would make himself vulnerably, would proceed himself defenceless into his team mates arms, his friends. He would have to admit to himself and the others that he was weak. Yet hadn't he just admitted that they were more than team mates? Friends?
"You know what, Aya? Forget it! Simply forget it! Don't tell me, I don't want to hear it! I know the answer, but I had hoped to hear it from you. I seriously had believed we could talk, but it was well an error. I was a fool to believe you would trust me, to believe we … I would after all the time be worth your trust. We simply go on with that, it's probably the best, and if I die one day then ask Omi and Yoji who I was, if you are interested in it, which I doubt! And if you should die one day, I only hope for you that you provided well and wrote your memoirs, for if not, than the last person who really knew you, who could have tell something about you, was you yourself. How sad." Ken had emptied the glass in his hand and had placed it back again on the table. He hadn't looked at Aya a single time, hadn't looked him in his beautiful blue, almost violet eyes, a single time, for if he would have done it he wouldn't have been able to resist the fury and the sorrow that tried to well up in himself. Aya … Aya was so much more, so much more
Aya swallowed hard when he fixed Ken bewildered. The emotions, the fury and the sorrow that resonated in Ken's voice hadn't escaped his attention, the resignation that tried to spread out in the young man. Slowly Aya sunk from the sofa to the ground next to Ken while he didn't let the young man out of his sight. He didn't know, what it was, what induced him to do so, but what he knew was that he wasn't able to just part from Ken like that. He didn't want Ken to be sad because of him. Not again. Never again. There was no way back anymore, no escape behind the mask, no tomorrow, only today. Today was good. Today was a good day. A new beginning. Wasn't it?
Slowly he refilled their glasses again with whiskey, took his glass and swung it, lost in his thoughts, in his hand. "Aya." Aya couldn't remember when his voice sounded so weakly, so unsteadily the last time. It was certainly not more than a whisper, but let nevertheless freeze Ken.
"Huh?"
"Aya. Aya is my motivation, my life, all I'm living for.”
Ken seemed to disbelieve his ears when he heard Aya speak. Was he really ready to speak about that, was he really willing to confess why he was here, what he lived for?
"Aya … God, she was so wonderful, so fragile, so full of life … and now …!" Aya aborted, knew not what he should say more. He had never thought about what he would say, what he would tell about his sister should he ever be willing to talk about her. And now the moment has come. Now here he sat on the floor of the living room of the Weiß-house with Ken, that young man he already had to owe his life to so often, that man who already owed Aya so often for his life, and what had he to tell about his sister, his wonderful, unique Sleeping Beauty? Sleeping Beauty! The bitter truth was there was no knight in shining armour who would ever awaken her, no yet so noble notion that would free her out of her darkness. The truth was different and in opposition to all the people who perceived Sleeping Beauty as romantic was that Aya was aware of the 100 years, more than aware. Fourteen months! Fourteen months in which he hadn't heard her voice, in which he hadn't seen her smile, fourteen months that were like 100 years for him. Sleeping Beauty was no longer a fairy tale for him, it was a truth, a truth that seemed to stick like a bitter pill in his throat.
"It was unmeant! It was … the situation was … I was still conducted from our encounter and awoke in an environment that was totally strange to me. I had to have spoken in my sleep … about her … it was arguably enough to convince Yoji I would be Aya. I saw no reason to correct this error. I didn't know him, didn't know you, wasn't willing to know you, had no reason to trust you. The time passed and thus also my distrust, my suspicion towards all of you, nevertheless I never was able to tell you about me! It was enough, what you knew about me was enough! No reason to contract a friendship, a tie that run the risk of being destroyed at the very same day, a tie, that let me run the risk of loosing what was near and dear to me! Always separated work from private life! You were work, Aya was my life!"
Ken tugged at his Shirt, somehow this conversation got unpleasant, unpleasant to hear the truth. Aya had never spoken so much, never so much about himself and now …! Wasn't it what he had wanted? Didn't he want Aya to open up, to tell him who Aya was, who Ran was? And now he wanted nothing more than to get up, wanted to forget this very evening, make it annulled … work! So they were work for him, nothing more?
"I understand." Ken swallowed hard, tried to conceal how much Aya's words hurt him. Again he made a gulp of his whiskey while he sought again the point in the distance, that point that seemed to inevitable become manifested in the coffee table.
"No, you don't." Ken's reaction didn't escape Aya, his uneasiness on his words, his revelation. Aya wasn't certainly sure why, but something seemed to disturb Ken, something what Aya had said, something that he shouldn't have said. He wasn't sure what it was, but what he knew was that it concerned him. Nothing ever should make the brunette sad again, not if Aya was able to prevent it. He didn't want to see Ken sad because of him, never again.
"Ken?"
"…"
"You don't understand it, do you?"
No, he didn't. He didn't understand how Aya could speak about them that way. Work. They were nothing more to him than work? Were they worth no than a job? Clock out and no longer a need to think of it until the next time? There were so many Masato Takahashi's in this world. What if one day one of them succeeded?
"Hai! I understand! You don't need to say more! Don't worry, I won't bother you any longer with this subject! You said it more than clear, what we are for you! Don't worry, work will override!"
"No, you don't understand it, Ken!" Aya sighed deeply as he grasped his glass again. With a large gulp he emptied it and let it sink into his lap. “You don't understand it." he was hardly to be heard. How should he explain it to Ken, how should he say what they meant to him? It was all so new for him! For Aya! Aya didn't know these feelings, this tie, this urge to open up to his teammates, his friends. Ran. Ran knew it. Ran knew how to deal with that, but where was Ran? Would he step forward from his last tier and speak, would he take a stand? There was probably no moment in which Aya would have wished more to see Ran than in this instant.
“Then explain it to me, Aya!"
"I don't know how!”
"What should I say?"
"…"
"What should I tell?"
"…"
"What should I remember?"
"…"
"… and Ran?"
"…" slowly Aya shook his head while he steadily stared into space.
"Are we really no more than work to you, Aya?" Ken's voice lost itself in the quiet of the living room, too weak to enforce.
Were they only work to him? No, of course not! That was what he wanted to say, what he wanted to let Ken know. God, they were so much more than that, so much more. Everyone! Everyone had become his family, had become his support, next to Aya … Aya … his Sleeping Beauty …! God, with each day … with each day, which elapsed he became weaker and weaker, became aware of the reality he lived in. How should he help her, Aya, how should he awake her out of her sleep, if he himself didn't believe in it any more? Fourteen months! Fourteen months were a long time, a time in which so much could happen and much it was that happened. He had run into Kritiker's clutches, he was a murderer, he had gotten to know Yoji and Omi, he had gotten to know Ken … Ken
"Iie, I didn't say that!"
"And yet it sounded as if."
"Hn."
"What was it you wanted to say?" It was again and again fascinating for Ken to observe how Aya lost himself in his thoughts, when his wonderful blue, almost violet eyes drifted into distance. It was in those moments in which Ken wanted nothing more than to take Aya in his arms, hug him, hold him close and never let go again, give him support. Just like that. Just like that?
"At the beginning … at the beginning it was like that … work, nothing more … it was … simply a new group, a new team in which Kritiker had stuck me. I wasn't willing to open up to you because I knew … because I thought that I wouldn't stay long with you. Work … Weiß was work for me … work that allowed me to offer my sister what she needed. Medical care. Yet Weiß became more … much more for me, more than I ever would have wanted to allow! Ken … you mean substantially more to me than work, you snuck your way into my heart and I could do nothing about it. All of a sudden you were there, simply so, simply there! I began to see more in you, more than work, more than Bombay, Balinese and Siberian … I began to worry about you, my visits by Aya no longer consisted of only telling her about the past, about begging her to wake up … I started to tell her about you, what I do, what we do, where we live, about Momoe-san, about the Koneko, about Yoji's charm, about Omi's innocent being and about you and your love for soccer, your love for children and your certainty to hundred percent put your foot in your mouth whenever you get the chance to …!"
What a klutz he was. A dreamer who lost himself in the day. Differently from what he would have expected, Ken was not furious about Aya's statements, quite the contrary, something was different. What was it? It was the truth. He was like that, a klutz … no, not a klutz … a daydreamer, a 19-year-old assassin who didn't give up dreaming, who still could see the good in life, although he destroyed life in the name of the good.
"Aya …?"
"Hn?"
"Who is Ran?"
"Ran is … was … different. Ran idolized his sister; he did everything in his power for her. Ran loved to read and occasionally went out with his friends. Ran didn't like girls, he avoided any contact to Aya's strange friends. It went even so far that he once broke his a leg when he burst out of a window to escape them when they tried to storm his room. Ran liked chess, action movies, children and green tea Ran was …"
"…Aya!"
"Hn?"
"Ran … he is still there! All you told me about Ran is what I can see in you. Ok, up to the part with the action movies and perhaps also yet the part with the children … I mean, until now you have always succeeded in bringing each child to tears… however it is as if you would have exactly described yourself, Aya …! God, you even have sprained your wrist once when you tried to escape from this … what was her name again … Sakura … Well, I admit I was out of guilt, but who could really bargain for you to actually step into the puddle of water!"
"Hn …!" Aya could remembered this day well. It was a painful event that earned him the "motherly affection" of "Scary Sakura". As always Sakura swarmed around him and nobody knew exactly where Ken's mind was at that moment. Aya doubted strongly that Ken knew it himself, but the fact was that he turned the floor of the Koneko into an indoor swimming-pool while he observed stare "Scary Sakura'", as she pursued him, was sign enough to entertain that he probably tried to make contact with Area 51. Aya's revenge was bitter and was based on Russian manner, served cold. Since that, Ken bewared to enter the cold storage room of the shop without a jacket.
"Aya?"
"Aa?"
"Are we really more for you, than Weiß? More than only a group of assassins who follow Kritiker's orders?"
Were they? Hadn't he said that already? Yes, they were! They were more than only work for him. One year, he had now spent one year with them and they were the first who had snuck their way into his heart. He wasn't able to live any longer without the three Weiß-members. He trusted them so much, more than he admitted them, showed them. He himself had admitted to it already a long time ago, long before this conversation, but too much fixed on his very own problems that he would have let them get close to him. However, this conversation, Ken … this mission, that mission, in which he nearly had lost his life, that mission, when Masato Takahashi had fired … jammed … so much went through his head … Aya … who would attend to Aya? Kritiker? Would they really do it? Would they keep their promise? And if yes, what would happen to the others? What would happen to Yoji and Omi, what would happen to Ken? Would they come to grips with that? Would he be replaced, and if this were so how would they react? His team mates, his friends, his family? He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to be replaced, he wanted to be here, here with them, with Weiß, with Aya … and what if one day something should happen to him? What if Masato Takahashi's gun wouldn't have had a jam, what would have happened? What would happen to Aya? What if she wakes up and asks about him? What if,
What should he say? What should he tell? What should he remember? What would he remember? Who was Aya? Would she understand?
"Hai. Much more." and finally he understood, understood the questions that tormented Ken, understood the anxiety that hid behind that. Why now? Why only now? Why hadn't he listen earlier? Aya! Aya was no longer only his life; it was also the life of the other. She was more for them, than only a girl that lay in a hospital in Tokyo and fought against an endless sleep. Aya was more, Aya was no Sleeping Beauty, Aya was Ran's sister and they worried about her, everyone worried about her. Aya was Ran, Aya was their team mate, their friend and Ken was worried about him, about her, about Aya, about … Aya. Ken …
"Aya?"
"Hmm?"
"May I … would you …"
"…"
A last time Ken took a gulp of his whiskey before he placed the empty glass back on the table. He didn't know where to turn his view, what he should do. This conversation turned over in his thoughts. He didn't know what he should do, what he should say. Aya was so different, Aya talked to him, Aya was frank with him and honest, the first time that Ken could be sure, but what now? Aya …
Who was Aya? Would she understand?
"Aya … I would like to learn more about Aya!"
More about Aya? Of course, he would tell Ken everything, now … he would tell him everything, everything he wanted!
"Aya?"
"Hai!"
"My sister?"
"Iie!"
A look at the bottle that stood between Ken and him sufficed to let Aya refill the glasses that stood on the table. It wasn't much, just the two, than it was over. He had come so far; so far, farther than he had thought he would come an hour ago. An hour. An hour ago he was on his way home, on the way from the hospital, from his sister … and now? Now he sat here with Ken … Ken … how often had he characterised him as an idiot, how often had he campaigned against him, again and again …why? Because he was an useless klutz? No, that's not, what he was! Ken was everything, but that! Ken was so much more, so much … more.
"You mean Ran?"
"Iie. Aya … it's Aya I've met on the roof, and it's Aya I want to get to learn more about. It's Aya I want, Aya … and then we attend to Ran …"
This whole evening was odd, so odd. He wasn't able to remember when he ever sat together with Aya for such a long time, talked for such a long time, really talked, about him, about Weiß, about his life. Never. Sadly never was the answer, but now … now he sat here with Aya, Aya who never talked about himself, Aya whom he knew now for such a long time, tried to get through to for such a long time … Aya …
"I don't want to lose you, lose you to Masato Takahashi!"
"…"
"Promise!"
"… I promise!"
"Would you …?"
"Hn?"
"… tell me about you?"
Whatever it was, whatever it was, that gave him in this moment the peace he so long longed for, was enough, enough to let him contentedly breath deeply. Breath deeply, as he looked Ken into the eyes, into those eyes he already had seen so often, so often and nevertheless he saw it only now. A blue how he had never seen it before. No, not blue, turquoise, green, what was it … he didn't know. He didn't know. He only knew, that Ken coached his Kids with hundred percent enthusiasm, he hated Schwarz hundred percent, he gave hundred percent in a mission, he was hundred percent friend, he tripped over a flowerpot in the shop hundred percent, he couldn't cook hundred percent, he stood hundred percent by himself and Weiß and he drove Aya every time hundred percent crazy.
And it was probably those contentment that let him act, those contentment that he needed let loose. A contentment that he hadn't experienced for so long. A feeling that he wasn't able to describe, a feeling that he was allowed to experience only now again, in that moment as he leaned forward, his eyes closed and breathed against Ken's lips.
"Hai!"
He loved Ken for Ken. A hundred percent.
And it was probably those contentment's that Ken thought to have lost a long time ago, those pleasures in life he had given up a long time ago that let him answer … let him answer to those delicate lips that touched him, gently, carefully. A feeling in which he seemed to be drowned, a kiss, a contact, nothing more, so innocently and nevertheless …
"Yo, guys, you are still awake! What are you doing up so late yet?"
"Thinking Yoji, thinking."
"Alas! And what about fearless leader?"
"Earthworms!
"Huh? Earthworms?"
"Simply, only earthworms!"
Tomorrow. Tomorrow was good. Tomorrow was another day. A new day. But today was better. Today was a better day. A new beginning. Wasn't it?
---------------------------
So, that's it! I hope you liked it and aren't disappointed about the ending. As I said in the warning … it's only Aya/Ken hinted. :) One day I'll try a lemmon, but up to now I haven't had the heart to do so.
Greets
Caffreys
"We've all, more or less, a reason why we're in Weiß, why we're bothering to do this day after day. Each has another story, a story that brought him to Weiß. Omi through Persia who had rescued him years ago, Yoji had lost Asuka, had gotten into troubles and if not for Kritiker he would certainly no longer be alive. I was dead to the world, burned in the blaze that my once best friend had set in order to kill me and had nothing left to go or to live for. We've sold our souls to Kritiker without the right of withdrawal. We all do our best to survive and try to make the world a little better. The price for that is high and we all pay it, but never the less we do it! What's your reason, your motivation, Aya?"
"…" It wasn't as if Aya didn't want to say something, he only couldn't. What should he answer to that? Of course Ken knew the answer to that, he had to or else Aya wouldn't be here, but he couldn't say it. What did Ken expect of him? He wasn't ready to speak about that, not ready to give up on his protective barrier behind his mask and to step forward. Should he answer him his structure would collapse, he would make himself vulnerably, would proceed himself defenceless into his team mates arms, his friends. He would have to admit to himself and the others that he was weak. Yet hadn't he just admitted that they were more than team mates? Friends?
"You know what, Aya? Forget it! Simply forget it! Don't tell me, I don't want to hear it! I know the answer, but I had hoped to hear it from you. I seriously had believed we could talk, but it was well an error. I was a fool to believe you would trust me, to believe we … I would after all the time be worth your trust. We simply go on with that, it's probably the best, and if I die one day then ask Omi and Yoji who I was, if you are interested in it, which I doubt! And if you should die one day, I only hope for you that you provided well and wrote your memoirs, for if not, than the last person who really knew you, who could have tell something about you, was you yourself. How sad." Ken had emptied the glass in his hand and had placed it back again on the table. He hadn't looked at Aya a single time, hadn't looked him in his beautiful blue, almost violet eyes, a single time, for if he would have done it he wouldn't have been able to resist the fury and the sorrow that tried to well up in himself. Aya … Aya was so much more, so much more
Aya swallowed hard when he fixed Ken bewildered. The emotions, the fury and the sorrow that resonated in Ken's voice hadn't escaped his attention, the resignation that tried to spread out in the young man. Slowly Aya sunk from the sofa to the ground next to Ken while he didn't let the young man out of his sight. He didn't know, what it was, what induced him to do so, but what he knew was that he wasn't able to just part from Ken like that. He didn't want Ken to be sad because of him. Not again. Never again. There was no way back anymore, no escape behind the mask, no tomorrow, only today. Today was good. Today was a good day. A new beginning. Wasn't it?
Slowly he refilled their glasses again with whiskey, took his glass and swung it, lost in his thoughts, in his hand. "Aya." Aya couldn't remember when his voice sounded so weakly, so unsteadily the last time. It was certainly not more than a whisper, but let nevertheless freeze Ken.
"Huh?"
"Aya. Aya is my motivation, my life, all I'm living for.”
Ken seemed to disbelieve his ears when he heard Aya speak. Was he really ready to speak about that, was he really willing to confess why he was here, what he lived for?
"Aya … God, she was so wonderful, so fragile, so full of life … and now …!" Aya aborted, knew not what he should say more. He had never thought about what he would say, what he would tell about his sister should he ever be willing to talk about her. And now the moment has come. Now here he sat on the floor of the living room of the Weiß-house with Ken, that young man he already had to owe his life to so often, that man who already owed Aya so often for his life, and what had he to tell about his sister, his wonderful, unique Sleeping Beauty? Sleeping Beauty! The bitter truth was there was no knight in shining armour who would ever awaken her, no yet so noble notion that would free her out of her darkness. The truth was different and in opposition to all the people who perceived Sleeping Beauty as romantic was that Aya was aware of the 100 years, more than aware. Fourteen months! Fourteen months in which he hadn't heard her voice, in which he hadn't seen her smile, fourteen months that were like 100 years for him. Sleeping Beauty was no longer a fairy tale for him, it was a truth, a truth that seemed to stick like a bitter pill in his throat.
"It was unmeant! It was … the situation was … I was still conducted from our encounter and awoke in an environment that was totally strange to me. I had to have spoken in my sleep … about her … it was arguably enough to convince Yoji I would be Aya. I saw no reason to correct this error. I didn't know him, didn't know you, wasn't willing to know you, had no reason to trust you. The time passed and thus also my distrust, my suspicion towards all of you, nevertheless I never was able to tell you about me! It was enough, what you knew about me was enough! No reason to contract a friendship, a tie that run the risk of being destroyed at the very same day, a tie, that let me run the risk of loosing what was near and dear to me! Always separated work from private life! You were work, Aya was my life!"
Ken tugged at his Shirt, somehow this conversation got unpleasant, unpleasant to hear the truth. Aya had never spoken so much, never so much about himself and now …! Wasn't it what he had wanted? Didn't he want Aya to open up, to tell him who Aya was, who Ran was? And now he wanted nothing more than to get up, wanted to forget this very evening, make it annulled … work! So they were work for him, nothing more?
"I understand." Ken swallowed hard, tried to conceal how much Aya's words hurt him. Again he made a gulp of his whiskey while he sought again the point in the distance, that point that seemed to inevitable become manifested in the coffee table.
"No, you don't." Ken's reaction didn't escape Aya, his uneasiness on his words, his revelation. Aya wasn't certainly sure why, but something seemed to disturb Ken, something what Aya had said, something that he shouldn't have said. He wasn't sure what it was, but what he knew was that it concerned him. Nothing ever should make the brunette sad again, not if Aya was able to prevent it. He didn't want to see Ken sad because of him, never again.
"Ken?"
"…"
"You don't understand it, do you?"
No, he didn't. He didn't understand how Aya could speak about them that way. Work. They were nothing more to him than work? Were they worth no than a job? Clock out and no longer a need to think of it until the next time? There were so many Masato Takahashi's in this world. What if one day one of them succeeded?
"Hai! I understand! You don't need to say more! Don't worry, I won't bother you any longer with this subject! You said it more than clear, what we are for you! Don't worry, work will override!"
"No, you don't understand it, Ken!" Aya sighed deeply as he grasped his glass again. With a large gulp he emptied it and let it sink into his lap. “You don't understand it." he was hardly to be heard. How should he explain it to Ken, how should he say what they meant to him? It was all so new for him! For Aya! Aya didn't know these feelings, this tie, this urge to open up to his teammates, his friends. Ran. Ran knew it. Ran knew how to deal with that, but where was Ran? Would he step forward from his last tier and speak, would he take a stand? There was probably no moment in which Aya would have wished more to see Ran than in this instant.
“Then explain it to me, Aya!"
"I don't know how!”
"What should I say?"
"…"
"What should I tell?"
"…"
"What should I remember?"
"…"
"… and Ran?"
"…" slowly Aya shook his head while he steadily stared into space.
"Are we really no more than work to you, Aya?" Ken's voice lost itself in the quiet of the living room, too weak to enforce.
Were they only work to him? No, of course not! That was what he wanted to say, what he wanted to let Ken know. God, they were so much more than that, so much more. Everyone! Everyone had become his family, had become his support, next to Aya … Aya … his Sleeping Beauty …! God, with each day … with each day, which elapsed he became weaker and weaker, became aware of the reality he lived in. How should he help her, Aya, how should he awake her out of her sleep, if he himself didn't believe in it any more? Fourteen months! Fourteen months were a long time, a time in which so much could happen and much it was that happened. He had run into Kritiker's clutches, he was a murderer, he had gotten to know Yoji and Omi, he had gotten to know Ken … Ken
"Iie, I didn't say that!"
"And yet it sounded as if."
"Hn."
"What was it you wanted to say?" It was again and again fascinating for Ken to observe how Aya lost himself in his thoughts, when his wonderful blue, almost violet eyes drifted into distance. It was in those moments in which Ken wanted nothing more than to take Aya in his arms, hug him, hold him close and never let go again, give him support. Just like that. Just like that?
"At the beginning … at the beginning it was like that … work, nothing more … it was … simply a new group, a new team in which Kritiker had stuck me. I wasn't willing to open up to you because I knew … because I thought that I wouldn't stay long with you. Work … Weiß was work for me … work that allowed me to offer my sister what she needed. Medical care. Yet Weiß became more … much more for me, more than I ever would have wanted to allow! Ken … you mean substantially more to me than work, you snuck your way into my heart and I could do nothing about it. All of a sudden you were there, simply so, simply there! I began to see more in you, more than work, more than Bombay, Balinese and Siberian … I began to worry about you, my visits by Aya no longer consisted of only telling her about the past, about begging her to wake up … I started to tell her about you, what I do, what we do, where we live, about Momoe-san, about the Koneko, about Yoji's charm, about Omi's innocent being and about you and your love for soccer, your love for children and your certainty to hundred percent put your foot in your mouth whenever you get the chance to …!"
What a klutz he was. A dreamer who lost himself in the day. Differently from what he would have expected, Ken was not furious about Aya's statements, quite the contrary, something was different. What was it? It was the truth. He was like that, a klutz … no, not a klutz … a daydreamer, a 19-year-old assassin who didn't give up dreaming, who still could see the good in life, although he destroyed life in the name of the good.
"Aya …?"
"Hn?"
"Who is Ran?"
"Ran is … was … different. Ran idolized his sister; he did everything in his power for her. Ran loved to read and occasionally went out with his friends. Ran didn't like girls, he avoided any contact to Aya's strange friends. It went even so far that he once broke his a leg when he burst out of a window to escape them when they tried to storm his room. Ran liked chess, action movies, children and green tea Ran was …"
"…Aya!"
"Hn?"
"Ran … he is still there! All you told me about Ran is what I can see in you. Ok, up to the part with the action movies and perhaps also yet the part with the children … I mean, until now you have always succeeded in bringing each child to tears… however it is as if you would have exactly described yourself, Aya …! God, you even have sprained your wrist once when you tried to escape from this … what was her name again … Sakura … Well, I admit I was out of guilt, but who could really bargain for you to actually step into the puddle of water!"
"Hn …!" Aya could remembered this day well. It was a painful event that earned him the "motherly affection" of "Scary Sakura". As always Sakura swarmed around him and nobody knew exactly where Ken's mind was at that moment. Aya doubted strongly that Ken knew it himself, but the fact was that he turned the floor of the Koneko into an indoor swimming-pool while he observed stare "Scary Sakura'", as she pursued him, was sign enough to entertain that he probably tried to make contact with Area 51. Aya's revenge was bitter and was based on Russian manner, served cold. Since that, Ken bewared to enter the cold storage room of the shop without a jacket.
"Aya?"
"Aa?"
"Are we really more for you, than Weiß? More than only a group of assassins who follow Kritiker's orders?"
Were they? Hadn't he said that already? Yes, they were! They were more than only work for him. One year, he had now spent one year with them and they were the first who had snuck their way into his heart. He wasn't able to live any longer without the three Weiß-members. He trusted them so much, more than he admitted them, showed them. He himself had admitted to it already a long time ago, long before this conversation, but too much fixed on his very own problems that he would have let them get close to him. However, this conversation, Ken … this mission, that mission, in which he nearly had lost his life, that mission, when Masato Takahashi had fired … jammed … so much went through his head … Aya … who would attend to Aya? Kritiker? Would they really do it? Would they keep their promise? And if yes, what would happen to the others? What would happen to Yoji and Omi, what would happen to Ken? Would they come to grips with that? Would he be replaced, and if this were so how would they react? His team mates, his friends, his family? He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to be replaced, he wanted to be here, here with them, with Weiß, with Aya … and what if one day something should happen to him? What if Masato Takahashi's gun wouldn't have had a jam, what would have happened? What would happen to Aya? What if she wakes up and asks about him? What if,
What should he say? What should he tell? What should he remember? What would he remember? Who was Aya? Would she understand?
"Hai. Much more." and finally he understood, understood the questions that tormented Ken, understood the anxiety that hid behind that. Why now? Why only now? Why hadn't he listen earlier? Aya! Aya was no longer only his life; it was also the life of the other. She was more for them, than only a girl that lay in a hospital in Tokyo and fought against an endless sleep. Aya was more, Aya was no Sleeping Beauty, Aya was Ran's sister and they worried about her, everyone worried about her. Aya was Ran, Aya was their team mate, their friend and Ken was worried about him, about her, about Aya, about … Aya. Ken …
"Aya?"
"Hmm?"
"May I … would you …"
"…"
A last time Ken took a gulp of his whiskey before he placed the empty glass back on the table. He didn't know where to turn his view, what he should do. This conversation turned over in his thoughts. He didn't know what he should do, what he should say. Aya was so different, Aya talked to him, Aya was frank with him and honest, the first time that Ken could be sure, but what now? Aya …
Who was Aya? Would she understand?
"Aya … I would like to learn more about Aya!"
More about Aya? Of course, he would tell Ken everything, now … he would tell him everything, everything he wanted!
"Aya?"
"Hai!"
"My sister?"
"Iie!"
A look at the bottle that stood between Ken and him sufficed to let Aya refill the glasses that stood on the table. It wasn't much, just the two, than it was over. He had come so far; so far, farther than he had thought he would come an hour ago. An hour. An hour ago he was on his way home, on the way from the hospital, from his sister … and now? Now he sat here with Ken … Ken … how often had he characterised him as an idiot, how often had he campaigned against him, again and again …why? Because he was an useless klutz? No, that's not, what he was! Ken was everything, but that! Ken was so much more, so much … more.
"You mean Ran?"
"Iie. Aya … it's Aya I've met on the roof, and it's Aya I want to get to learn more about. It's Aya I want, Aya … and then we attend to Ran …"
This whole evening was odd, so odd. He wasn't able to remember when he ever sat together with Aya for such a long time, talked for such a long time, really talked, about him, about Weiß, about his life. Never. Sadly never was the answer, but now … now he sat here with Aya, Aya who never talked about himself, Aya whom he knew now for such a long time, tried to get through to for such a long time … Aya …
"I don't want to lose you, lose you to Masato Takahashi!"
"…"
"Promise!"
"… I promise!"
"Would you …?"
"Hn?"
"… tell me about you?"
Whatever it was, whatever it was, that gave him in this moment the peace he so long longed for, was enough, enough to let him contentedly breath deeply. Breath deeply, as he looked Ken into the eyes, into those eyes he already had seen so often, so often and nevertheless he saw it only now. A blue how he had never seen it before. No, not blue, turquoise, green, what was it … he didn't know. He didn't know. He only knew, that Ken coached his Kids with hundred percent enthusiasm, he hated Schwarz hundred percent, he gave hundred percent in a mission, he was hundred percent friend, he tripped over a flowerpot in the shop hundred percent, he couldn't cook hundred percent, he stood hundred percent by himself and Weiß and he drove Aya every time hundred percent crazy.
And it was probably those contentment that let him act, those contentment that he needed let loose. A contentment that he hadn't experienced for so long. A feeling that he wasn't able to describe, a feeling that he was allowed to experience only now again, in that moment as he leaned forward, his eyes closed and breathed against Ken's lips.
"Hai!"
He loved Ken for Ken. A hundred percent.
And it was probably those contentment's that Ken thought to have lost a long time ago, those pleasures in life he had given up a long time ago that let him answer … let him answer to those delicate lips that touched him, gently, carefully. A feeling in which he seemed to be drowned, a kiss, a contact, nothing more, so innocently and nevertheless …
"Yo, guys, you are still awake! What are you doing up so late yet?"
"Thinking Yoji, thinking."
"Alas! And what about fearless leader?"
"Earthworms!
"Huh? Earthworms?"
"Simply, only earthworms!"
Tomorrow. Tomorrow was good. Tomorrow was another day. A new day. But today was better. Today was a better day. A new beginning. Wasn't it?
---------------------------
So, that's it! I hope you liked it and aren't disappointed about the ending. As I said in the warning … it's only Aya/Ken hinted. :) One day I'll try a lemmon, but up to now I haven't had the heart to do so.
Greets
Caffreys