Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Please, Give Me Another Chance ❯ Déjà Vu ( Chapter 2 )

Please Give Me Another Chance

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I own diddly-dick that's all I'm gonna say 'bout it

Paring : Aya/Ken, one-sided

Warnings : OCC, angst, Shonen-ai

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts or the strange little voice Ken hears in his head.

Chapter 2. Déjà Vu

Ken solemly stared at the walls. Aya was dead, gone and he was the one responsible for it. It had been nearly 12 hours since he had watched two unknown men gun down his older team-mate. A quiet sob escaped him and he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. There was nowhere to hide, no excuses for what he had done and there was no one to comfort him. Yoji couldn't even stand to look at him and Omi… Omi was, or rather had been, Ken's best friend but just as he had ruined his friendship with Aya he had ruined it with the small blonde. His youngest friend refused to talk to him and the sad accusing look in his eyes was awful because it was there for a reason. Omi had never really said anything about the yelling that had occured that evening but the brunette knew all too well that it had upset his friend. At first he had been angry that no one understood him but now he knew why. All those words he had shouted with no right at all. Aya had put himself on the line, he had swallowed his pride and coldness in order to confess his feelings for Ken and… The brunette rested his head on his knees and whimpered. He would give anything to have that night undone. It wasn't just because it had ended up killing the redhead but it had also hurt him so deeply and Ken didn't want that. Yes, Aya had freaked him out, completely taken him by surprise but it still wasn't reason enough for his reaction.
"Just give me another chance," Ken croaked out and rocked back and forth. "Please just give me another chance. Please… Someone, anyone please help me…" Tears started running down his cheeks again. "Please just give me another chance… I never meant for this to happen…" Another chance? Do you even understand why this happened? a voice asked inside his head. He didn't answer. Do you understand that you crushed Aya with your words? You tore his heart apart Ken. And because of that he wasn't paying attention during the mission, he didn't even care that he died Ken! Do you understand that? That voice was right and he knew it. Crying quietly to himself the brunette remembered how he had reacted to Aya's confession that evening two weeks ago. The cruel words that had rained from his mouth and the deep pain in those amethyst eyes. When he had had nothing more to yell at Aya the redhead had just turned around and left, completely defeated and broken and somewhere deep down inside Ken had treasured that, he had been glad that Aya had been hurting. He had just been so angry, shocked, confused and scared of what it meant. Aya had said that he was falling in love with him and he wanted to know if he stood a chance. But Ken wasn't the least bit interested, he held no feelings towards the redhead that went beyond friendship. The brunette shook his head. He was such a fool. Instead of screaming and shouting he should just have explained how he felt, Aya would have understood, wouldn't he? And it would have kept him alive. Exhausted and feeling so guilty Ken crawled underneath the covers and buried his face in his pillow. I'll give you another chance Ken. I'll let you have another go at that day, good luck. The brunette frowned in confusion. What the hell was up with that voice? With his luck he was probably going insane and he deserved it! He could only keep on praying that this was all a nightmare and that everything was back to normal when he woke up again.

"Ken-kun!" The brunette grumbled in his sleep and pulled the covers over his head. He didn't feel like waking up. "Ken-kun! You're going to be late for your shift." Ken opened his eyes and sighed. The memories from the previous night attacked him. Aya was dead. "KEN-KUN!"
"I'm coming Omi," he sighed deeply. Slowly he got up and glanced at the pile of clothes that were shoved in a dark corner of his room. His sweater, jacket and pants soaked by Aya's blood. Shaking he pulled on some clothes and unwillingly went downstairs. The kitchen was empty and he was thankful for it. He didn't want to face Yoji or Omi just yet. Suddenly Ken frowned. There was something wrong with that morning, it felt like he had gone through it before. No point in hoping for that though. Footsteps approached him but the brunette didn't look up.
"You're late." Ken's head snapped up so fast the room spun. Confused he stared at the man standing before him. This couldn't be happening.
"A… A… Aya?" he asked and blinked. How could the redhead be standing there? As far as the brunette could tell Aya looked completely normal. His face was bland and his eyes callous. Without really thinking Ken got up and hugged the stunned redhead. "You're okay," he murmured and clung to his friend. Strong arms pushed him away and amethyst eyes stared at him with confusion.
"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" Aya asked blandly before he turned around and left. Ken's thoughts raced. The redhead was alive, he showed no signs of being beaten and broken, but how? What the hell was going on? The previous night couldn't have been a dream because Ken still had the bloody clothes he had been wearing so what the hell was going on? Utterly confused he trotted into the shop to help Aya open it.

It took Ken half the day to figure out what had happened. Everything that occured that day had occured before. Somehow time had been turned back just like that strange voice in his head had promised. This was the day that Aya had told him about his feelings, Ken was sure of it. He had been given another chance and he wouldn't mess it up this time! There was nothing he wouldn't do just to save the redhead from what had happened the last time. From time to time he caught Aya looking at him with a strange shadow in his amethyst eyes. He knew that look though, it had been there when the redhead had told him how he felt. Don't Aya, please just don't, he pleaded in silence. Omi returned from school and Yoji managed to drag himself out off bed to take over in the shop. Ken had about 4 hours before Aya would confront him and he was scared. What the hell was he suppose to say? Well he wouldn't scream and yell that was for sure but how was he suppose to explain that he felt nothing for the redhead without hurting him? Ken sighed darkly and took a seat in the kitchen. What if he just lied? He hated lying but this was for the greater good, was it not? If he went along with Aya and said that he had been having those kinds of feelings too then the redhead would be safe. It was stupid and he knew it but at the moment it didn't seem to matter as long as he could keep his friend alive and well. How bad could it be? Aya was a kind person deep inside, he would never hurt him. With his mind made up the brunette went to his room to prepare himself for what he already knew would happen.

"Ken?" He turned to look at Aya and smiled weakly. This was it, his chance to right the wrongs he had done before.
"Hai, Aya?" he asked softly.
"Could I talk to you for a moment?" Ken nodded and invited the redhead into his room. What he was about to do wasn't right but then it couldn't be more wrong than what he had done the last time, could it?
"Sure." Aya hesitated. Ken already knew exactly what he was about to say, he had heard it before after all.
"Ken I…" The redhead's voice trailed off. Just don't say it Aya, please. Don't make me do this. "I don't know how to say this Ken but I… I…" Ken braced himself for the next part. "I think I'm falling in love with you." The brunette took a deep breath to say something, anything, but he just couldn't. "I'm sorry Ken but I have to know, do I stand a chance with you?" This was so very unlike Aya. His voice was filled with hesitation and he looked so scared. Ken still couldn't answer and he could see the defeat in the redhead's eyes, the hurt too. Damnit Hidaka! You're doing it again! Do you want him to die all over again? Because he will if you don't do or say something! "I think I get the answer," Aya mumbled and turned around. "I really am sorry Ken, I shouldn't have said anything." When he started to leave Ken finally snapped out of his numbness. He grabbed Aya's arm and turned him around to face him. Say something! he ordered himself but nothing came out. Confused and scared he suddenly pulled the pale face down to his and kissed him. It felt wrong and he didn't like it but to hell with that if it meant that the redhead would be safe and alive. The kiss was answered after a moments hesitation and Ken had to use all his will-power not to push the other man away. He could deal with the problems later, some other time. Aya wouldn't rush him so he had time to work out the millions of flaws his plan had. They broke apart and Ken forced himself not to wipe his mouth. When he looked up he saw the joy and love in the redhead's eyes and for a moment that made it all worth wild.

~TBC~

I know this fic is really weird and stuff *sighs* But I just can't get it out of my head *mutters sourly* Anyways, Ken is doing something rather drastic but in my head he's at the end of his rope here. He was the one responsible for Aya's death and he'll do anything to change that. In the next chapter we'll see how he's second try goes. I wonder if anyone is seeing where I'm going with this *chuckles* Oh and by the way, another reason that this fic is turning out the way it is is that I got a comment on one of my other fics. A reader said that it's strange how the characters always fall in love with each other and so on. Well here you go dear reader… Aya loves Ken and Ken does not love him back. Ja/Atsureki