Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Shades of Grey ❯ Chapter 8

Part Eight

Yoji was feeling guilty. He still hadn't told Ken the extent of his previous association with Schuldich, even after their decision last night to try to make their relationship something more meaningful than just casual sex. He knew Ken assumed he'd only spent one night with the Schwartz member, and he hadn't disabused Ken of the notion. To make matters worse, he'd awakened that morning to Schuldich's nasal voice purring through his mind.

Saa, Yoji, I'm shocked. Schuldich's mental tone was saturated with mockery. Have you forgotten me already?

Yoji had held himself still, afraid to wake Ken. He hadn't dared to speak out loud, so he'd sent a furious mental hiss in Schuldich's direction.

Shut up. You're nothing but another target, Schuldich.

Oh, I don't think so, Balinese. Schuldich had drawled. Yoji's mind had suddenly been inundated with images of the many nights he and Schuldich had spent together. Against his will he felt his body responding to the memories.

Schuldich had laughed and pulled the memories back.

You miss me, Kudo. Admit it and I might take you back.

Yoji had buried his anger and fiercely blanked his mind.

Now Balinese, you know that won't work with me, Schuldich had chided. I can taste your anger. And I can see how much you want me.

Schuldich's voice had rolled through his mind like velvet, bringing back the memories of the pleasure that had accompanied that voice on so many previous nights. Yoji had tried, but he couldn't fight the response his body betrayed.

Or maybe I should have a taste of your new friend, Schuldich had mused thoughtfully. Do you think he would play nicely with me, Yoji? He certainly played nicely with you.

Yoji had sat up in bed with a start, suddenly afraid for Ken, but Schuldich had already gone. His movement had awakened Ken, who had squinted sleepily up at him.

"Something wrong, Yoji?" Ken had asked him. Yoji had shaken his head, and had lain down again. Ken had thrown his arm and leg over Yoji's long frame, his thigh brushing against Yoji's lower body. Something darkened in Ken's eyes when he felt Yoji's arousal, and he'd murmured, "We still have an hour before work…"

A fresh wave of guilt swept over Yoji, sickening him. He shouldn't have had sex with Ken after Schuldich had stirred him up. There was something horribly wrong about that. Ken was too nice a person to be used like that, not to mention the fact that Yoji was sure Ken would be really pissed if he ever found out.

Yoji turned his head, catching Ken's eye and the edge of a smile across the shop before turning quickly back to the flowers he was arranging. Aya came in from his delivery run.

"Finish that quickly, Yoji. I need you to deal with the girls when school lets out."

Yoji scowled. "Why can't Omi take care of them?"

Aya frowned. "He will when he gets back from school. We all need to be available to get them out of the shop." His lips thinned in a combination of irritation and resignation. Yoji felt the same way. The girls were a nuisance, and few of them ever really bought anything. He snuck a quick glance at Ken, who was busy pulling dead leaves off of the plants. A stab of worry went through him. What if Schuldich followed through on his threat? He'd have to tell Ken tonight what had really happened with Schuldich. Yoji couldn't lie to him any longer.

Omi stood in the street in front of the Koneko, reluctant to enter the shop. School had been both not as bad as he'd expected, and much worse. He wasn't sure if all the sidelong looks and whispered conversations he'd noticed had really been directed at him, or if he was just being overly sensitive. Either way the end result was the same, the dread that now accompanied him to work.

He squared his shoulders and pushed open the door to the shop, automatically scanning the customers. To his relief the only people in the shop were over twenty. His breathing came more easily and his step had more of its usual energetic bounce as he crossed the doorway. The greeting smile he returned to Ken was almost as genki as it usually was. A funny thing, relief, he reflected. He felt almost buoyant.

Then Yoji's voice reached out to him.

"Oi, Omi, you get to take care of all the little girls," Yoji said. "You should ask one of the pretty ones out. After all, they're not here to see me."

Omi felt his stomach lurch again and his anxiety return. He gave Yoji a weak smile, saying dismissively, "Maybe, Yoji-kun." He tied on his apron. "Are there any deliveries?" he asked hopefully. "I can do them."

"No, I just did them," Aya said dismissively.

Omi controlled his disappointment. Maybe he could be busy in the back or something when the girls came in… but no, the only person who ever got to disappear when the girls came in was Aya. Maybe they wouldn't say anything, Omi thought a little desperately. Maybe Aya's glare would discourage them. Maybes, maybes, Omi thought. He decided to try to concentrate on work and stop thinking about it. That had helped during his English test.

Ken watched Omi for a few minutes out of the corner of his eye. Omi wasn't talking much, and he seemed less happy than usual. Ken kept an eye on him, deciding to talk to him later, see if everything was okay. Maybe things weren't working out with the boy he was seeing. He couldn't bring it up now, though, not with Yoji and Aya working the same shift. It would just have to wait until later.

They all heard the growing roar before they saw the tide come in. With quick glances at one another they took up their posts. The doors burst open and a flood of girls in short uniforms poured into the shop, laughing and chattering and putting fingerprints all over the windows. Aya winced inwardly. He hated smudged windows.

Ten busy minutes later Omi started to relax. Not one of the girls had mentioned anything about seeing him and Nagi yesterday, and the younger ones still flirted with him. He was quite willing to reciprocate a little today. As he stood flirting with one of the girls he saw the door behind her open, and he recognized one of the group of girls from yesterday. His eyes widened, and he turned abruptly to flee into the back room.

"Omi-kun!" A high-pitched voice piped up.

Omi stopped and turned fearfully. A radiant smile lit the girl's face.

"That was so kawaii yesterday, Omi-kun!" she said eagerly. "You and that boy."

"Nani?" Yoji said, looking lost. He turned a blank face towards Omi.

Cheeks flaming, Omi opened his mouth to say something, anything. The girl beat him to it.

"Oh, you know, Yoji-kun!" The girl gushed. "We saw Omi-kun kissing his boyfriend yesterday, didn't we?" She looked at the girls surrounding her, and was rewarded with nods and genki smiles. "And it was so kawaii. He was so cute, Omi-kun! A real bishonen… who was he?"

Omi realised his mouth was still hanging open and closed it quickly. He could feel the blood heating his face. He didn't know what to say. This was so much worse that he'd imagined. He heard the excited whispering rustle through the shop until he was sure all of the girls had heard. Unfortunately so had his teammates. He couldn't look at any of them, not even Ken.

"I hardly think that's any of your business."

Omi's head whipped around in surprise as Aya's cold voice sliced through the buzzing. "Now if you're not buying, you'd better leave and make room for legitimate customers."

With disappointed faces most of the girls left the shop, forming little clumps outside to discuss the juicy gossip. A few determined ones plastered themselves to the windows and stared in at Omi, who wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Instead he resolutely sat down at the table and began cutting stems and thorns off of the roses a customer wished to purchase, carefully avoiding the gazes of his teammates and anyone else in the shop. Consequently he didn't notice the glance that flew between the three remaining Weiss members.

Ken knew Aya and Yoji would understand the look he gave them to leave Omi alone. Together they finished with the customers, and even Aya was more helpful than usual. It didn't take long to get all the girls out of the shop.

"Could you make me some tea, Omi-kun?" Ken asked the boy.

Omi looked up, startled. He'd been concentrating so hard on ignoring everything around him that he hadn't noticed that there were only a few customers left, and not a uniform in sight. He glanced at Ken and saw the reassuring smile in the older boy's eyes.

"Sure, Ken-kun," he said, grateful to Ken for letting him leave the room and do something constructive. Tea would help to restore his own equilibrium. He knew Ken had asked him to make tea so the older boy could talk to Aya and Yoji. Omi didn't want to hear what he said, so he hummed to himself as he busied himself in the small kitchenette.

The moment Omi was out of sight Ken turned on Yoji. "Don't you dare say anything that would embarrass him any more than he already is," he warned the older man in a low voice, not wishing to cause a scene in front of the few people still in the Koneko. His gaze travelled to Aya. "And don't interrogate him, either." His eyes swung back and forth between the two of them.

"We'll discuss this later," Ken said, nodding pointedly at the customers waiting to be attended, as he went to the cash register. Yoji shrugged and walked to an older woman to help her decide what she wanted. Aya stared at Ken for a minute with narrowed eyes, then began misting the ferns. As Ken had said, now was not the time. They'd discuss it later.

Omi's heart beat like a scared bird in his chest. He and the rest of Weiss were sitting in their living room, and all eyes were on him. Ken was sitting next to him on the couch, and he gave Omi's shoulder a squeeze before turning to face Aya and Yoji. Omi gathered strength from Ken's offer of solidarity.

"Well?" he asked. "Ask, or say, or whatever." Aya's lips tightened, and Yoji's eyes brightened with amusement.

"Such defiance!" Yoji said, his eyes dancing. "Stop looking so prissy, Aya. So Omi's horny. What's wrong with that?"

Omi blinked at this unexpected - and somewhat unflattering - defence.

"I'm not prissy!" Aya said heatedly, his face flushed.

"Could've fooled me," Yoji muttered, smirking. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because we can't live normal lives," Aya said flatly, his poise returning. He turned to Omi. "Do you know how difficult having a relationship will be? You'll have to lie to him all the time."

Omi squirmed a little. In point of fact, he didn't have to lie to Nagi at all. But he couldn't tell the others that. He groped for something to say.

"Come on, Aya. You don't know that it's anything serious at all. It's just girls' gossip so far."

Once again Omi was surprised that Yoji had jumped to his defence. Then again, with his own newfound knowledge of Yoji's tastes - he couldn't suppress a quick glance at Ken - he supposed he shouldn't be that surprised. After all, Yoji was the king of love 'em and leave 'em. But that didn't mean he was.

"I can handle it," he told Aya in an absolute voice. "I've been a part of Weiss longer than any of you. You don't need to tell me how to live with it."

He saw Ken flinch and Yoji's mouth drop in astonishment, and the angry flush spread across Aya's cheeks.

"If he finds out about us you know Kritiker will order the hit," Aya ground out through clenched teeth.

"Like they did with Sakura-chan?" Omi fired back. "He won't find out."

The lie was easy to speak when he was this angry. How dare Aya try to tell him how to live his personal life? It was none of his business anyway. He tried to calm himself. Nothing would be gained by pushing Aya too far.

"Aya, I'll be careful. I promise. That's all I can do. But I'm not going to spend my whole life alone." He felt tears clog his throat and shimmer in his eyes, and he blinked them back. Now was not the time to appear weak.

Aya watched Omi push back tears and relented. He'd been older than Omi was now when he'd joined Weiss, and Omi had been forged into the weapon he had become since childhood. At least he had his sister, Aya thought. Omi had no one. His entire family - including his girlfriend and sister, Ouka - was gone. Omi was truly alone. Maybe it would be good for him to have someone outside of Weiss. Omi was much more cautious that Yoji was with his women, Aya reflected. His lip curled in distaste. He'd never understand Yoji's taste, or lack thereof.

"Fine, Omi. Just be careful. Good night." He turned and left, heading upstairs to his room.

Ken sighed in relief. "I thought that was gonna to be harder," he said with a crooked smile. "He's not really as cold as he likes to make everyone believe."

"He just needs someone to warm him up," Yoji said with a suggestive smile on his face. His eyes lingered on Ken, then traveled back to Omi, his grin broadening. Might as well let Omi know that he and Ken had reached an agreement. It might take his mind off of his own troubles.

Omi's eyes went wide as he realised what Yoji was implying. He twisted to stare at Ken, who was blushing a bit, avoiding Omi's gaze. "Does Aya know?"

"No," Ken admitted. "We're not sure we want anyone to know yet. Except you," he amended. "But tell me about your boy," he said quickly, changing the subject.

Omi felt a twinge of conscience. Ken and Yoji had fought his battles for him and confided in him, and he had to repay them with deceit.

"He's just someone from school," he said lamely.

"Is he cute?" Ken asked.

"Those girls seem to think so," Omi said with disgust.

"How old is he?" Yoji asked curiously.

"Fifteen." Yoji raised an eyebrow and Omi blushed.

"Careful, Omi. He's almost jailbait." He laughed at Omi's obvious discomfort. "At least bring him here if you're going to play instead of sneaking into his parents' place."

"Yeah, so when do we get to meet him?" Ken asked. "What's his name?"

"Um…I can't really say," Omi said.

Ken and Yoji looked at each other, perplexed. "Why not?" Ken asked.

"Nobody else knows about him, so…" Omi trailed off.

"We won't say anything to anyone," Ken said.

Omi was starting to feel cornered. "He's shy," he blurted out.

"Not too shy to kiss you on the street, though," Yoji pointed out.

"I'll ask him," Omi said, praying that would satisfy them. Apparently it did.

"I'm going to do some work before bed," he said, standing up and moving to the stairs. "I'll see you guys later."

Ken nodded and Yoji waved languidly, preoccupied. "Later."

Omi escaped up the stairs to his room, then picked up the phone. He felt his tension drain away when he heard Nagi's voice on the other end of the line.

"I wish you were here," Nagi said softly. "Then I could…"

Omi smiled as Nagi continued in detail.

Schuldich lay on his bed, his hands linked under his head. Nagi obviously didn't realise how thin the wall between their rooms was, Schu thought with a smirk, listening to Nagi's conversation with Omi. Who knew the boy was that creative? Maybe Omi had taught him a thing or two. Schu dredged up the memory of Omi's face from the last time he'd seen it. The youngest Weiss boy was almost too kawaii. If you put him in a dress you could easily mistake him for a girl. But Schuldich had fought him often enough to know that he was cold when he was on a job, and that he could kill without remorse. It was an admirable trait.

Schuldich's thoughts turned to the oldest of the Weiss assassins and his smirk faded, replaced by a slight frown. Yoji wasn't cooperating. When Yoji had told him that he wasn't interested anymore he really hadn't believed it. He'd thought that Yoji was just playing another game, trying to make him jealous with the endless parade of women. His supposition had been borne out by the fact that Yoji hadn't slept with any other man. Schu didn't mind him having sex with women - after all, women were insignificant bores - but another man he objected to. And now there was Ken.

Surely Yoji was just trying to make him jealous once he realised women wouldn't work? Ken was convenient if that was his plan. But… Schu had seen them at Guilty Pleasures together, and even he had to admit that Ken had looked damned good that night. Factor in Ken's not-so-subtle interest in his older teammate and Yoji's own conflicting thoughts about Ken - which Schuldich had heard for himself - and the situation was one that might become very bad for him.

Schuldich scowled. It shouldn't bother him. It didn't bother him. Yoji was just someone to play with, and he could find someone else with ease. True, with Yoji the element of danger spiced things up a little, but not enough to make him this dissatisfied with the way the cards had fallen. He'd expected Yoji to come back to him because he'd wanted Yoji to. He'd actually broken his own code and started to like the blond assassin. He squashed that thought ruthlessly. It wasn't true. He'd never fall for someone like Yoji. There were plenty of other men out there far more worthy of his attention and affection. He just didn't want to put himself through the trouble of finding one.

Schuldich's lips twitched. Maybe it was time to play in earnest. He listened carefully and heard no sound from Nagi's room. Good, he was off the phone. Schu swung himself off the bed and padded outside to Nagi's door, knocking when he tried the door and found it locked.

"Nagi… let me in." He heard the lock click and opened the door. Nagi was lying in bed in the dark, apparently about to go to sleep. He watched Schuldich warily.

"What do you want, Schu?" Nagi asked.

"A favour," Schuldich purred. He watched Nagi's eyes narrow.

"What kind of favour?" The boy asked suspiciously.

Schu laughed. "Nothing terrible, Nagi-chan," he teased. "I want you to find out from Omi if he knows anything about Yoji and Ken."

"Why do you care?" Nagi asked

"Just find out." Schuldich said shortly.

"And if I don't?" Nagi challenged.

"That was a very interesting phone call you just had," Schuldich said casually. "Wouldn't Crawford love to know all about you and Omi-chan?"

"Fine." Nagi snapped. "Get out."

Schuldich pinched Nagi's cheek. "I knew you'd see it my way, bishonen," he said, sauntering to the door. "Thanks."

"By the way, Schu. Does Crawford know you were fucking Yoji for a year?" Nagi asked innocently.

Schuldich's head whipped around and he stared at Nagi in disbelief.

"It's pathetic, really," Nagi said derisively. "You're all tied up in knots over Yoji and Ken, but you can't even admit to yourself that he's anything more to you than a nice piece of ass. Sweet dreams."

Nagi telekinetically shoved Schuldich through the door, locking it behind him.

Schuldich stared in shock at the closed door. Nagi had known? He'd have to be far more careful around the boy from now on. If he pissed him off too badly… Shaken, he went back to his room, determined to check on Yoji and see what he was doing.

Nagi heard Schuldich's door close and smiled. He'd been waiting to play that particular card for a very long time.

Yoji fidgeted in his chair. Ken was stretched out on the couch, absorbed in the movie that was playing on the television. Yoji wondered how to begin a conversation that could end very badly. He generally avoided these kinds of conversations with his lovers, but if he didn't tell Ken the truth about his relationship with Schuldich he suspected it would end far worse when Ken eventually found out.

A commercial break began and Ken looked away from the television. Yoji decided it was a sign.

"Ken."

Ken got off the couch and circled behind Yoji's chair, draping his arms around Yoji's neck and placing a soft kiss behind his ear. "Yeah, Yoji?"

Yoji reached up and held onto Ken's hands. "I need to talk to you about something."

Alerted by the serious tone Yoji had adopted, Ken withdrew his arms and went back to the couch, facing Yoji. Had he done something wrong? Was Yoji going to break up with him? This had been without a doubt the shortest relationship he'd ever had.

Ken pushed his thoughts away and looked expectantly at Yoji, deciding just to let him say whatever he wanted to say. He watched Yoji catch a lock of hair between his fingers and play with it, one of his more noticeable nervous habits that he'd always denied having.

"Remember how I told you about me… and Schuldich?" Yoji asked Ken hesitantly. Instinctively Ken glanced around to make sure there was no one else in the room. He nodded warily.

"I wasn't exactly completely truthful," Yoji admitted.

Ken looked a little confused. "You mean you and Schuldich never…"

Yoji held up his hand to silence Ken. "No, that part was true," he said. "Promise you'll hear me out and let me finish before you say anything?"

Ken nodded. There really wasn't anything else that he could do.

"It was more than one night," Yoji said reluctantly. When he saw that Ken was bursting with questions he continued hurriedly. "A lot more. Schu and I" Yoji noticed the slight widening of Ken's eyes at the nickname "were together for over a year."

"What?" Ken shouted, dumbfounded. One night with an enemy was bad enough, but to… be… with one for over a year? It was almost a betrayal. And Yoji had been reluctant to be with him? The shock was starting to wear off, but the anger was rising. Yoji had been lying to them all for over a year.

Yoji winced. He had known Ken would be mad, but… "Ken! You promised to hear me out. Please?" Ken glared at him but kept his mouth shut, his anger simmering slowly beneath the surface. "I ended it seven months ago. I just couldn't do it anymore. I hated lying to the rest of Weiss, and it really wasn't worth it. He wasn't like you, Ken," Yoji said softly, pleading with Ken to understand. "He didn't give a shit about me, but he understood me. And I was lonely. You and Omi had each other, and Aya had his revenge to keep him warm, but I was alone. And he knew that, and he used it against me. And finally I was sick of it and I got out."

Yoji drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. His head dropped to his knees and Ken couldn't see his face, but he could hear the emotions Yoji harboured clearly in the older man's voice.

"And it makes me sick now to think of it. I hated myself for the longest time. And I hated him. And now I'm just tired of it all." Yoji kept his head down and Ken suspected that he was crying. Yoji, cry? Nothing ever got to Yoji, not even Aya's icy little comments about his drinking and his women. Yoji just laughed them off. No woman had ever been able to break his heart, except Asuka. And here he was, crying over Schuldich, of all people! Ken couldn't see a single redeemable facet in the German's personality, but he'd obviously been able to make Yoji fall pretty hard for him. Nothing less could have reduced Yoji to the state he was in now.

Ken didn't know what to do. What he wanted to do was run - leave the house and go for a long run somewhere, anywhere away from Yoji. But he couldn't do that. Even if he and Yoji hadn't been trying to work something out, he couldn't leave his friend to go to pieces like this. He glanced at Yoji, who wasn't making any noise but was shaking slightly. He couldn't just leave. What if Aya or Omi came out now?

"Yoji."

When he got no response Ken levered himself off the couch and walked over to the older man, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Yoji," he said, more softly this time. "Let's go to my room. This isn't the place to talk about this." His fingers tightened on Yoji's shoulder. "Come on. You can't run the risk of anyone else finding out."

Yoji slowly unfolded his limbs and followed Ken up the stairs, hiding his face behind the cascade of his hair. His cheeks were wet and his eyes burned, and he struggled to get himself under control. This was ridiculous. He hadn't cried since Asuka died. Ken must think he was pathetic.

They entered Ken's room and the younger man shut and locked the door behind them, then rinsed a facecloth in cool water in the bathroom and handed it wordlessly to Yoji. He waited until Yoji was back in possession of himself before he spoke.

"You were in love with him," he said quietly.

Yoji's head snapped up. "I…" he stammered, his eyes wide with distress. "I wasn't!"

"I don't care that you were," Ken said. "Do you still love him?" Ken watched Yoji closely.

Yoji stared back at Ken, really thinking about the question. Did he? He never would have given what he'd felt for Schu the term love, but… had he? And more importantly, did he now? The room was quiet for a long time before he finally spoke.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Ken pressed.

Yoji nodded. "Whatever it was that I felt for him burned away a long time ago," he said tiredly, slumping in Ken's armchair.

"I understand why you didn't tell any of us," Ken said. "Why are you telling me now?"

"Because you deserve better than being lied to, Ken," Yoji said. "And because you needed to know."

"I'm not sure that I did need to know," Ken said thoughtfully. "Now I wish I didn't know."

"You needed to know," Yoji said insistently. Ken looked at him sharply. There was more here than just guilt.

"Why do I need to know?" he asked, studying Yoji's face.

"Because you need to be careful around him," Yoji said, then hesitated. "He talks to me sometimes. This morning he asked if I thought you'd play nicely with him too. He's never stopped bugging me because he won't believe I'm not going back to him."

"He can't make you go back to him, Yoji. Not if you don't want to."

"I know that." Yoji said. "I'm just… I don't know. Anyway, I had to let you know. And now you do."

"Now I do," Ken affirmed. They sat silently for a few minutes.

"So…" Yoji said. "What are you thinking?" He glanced curiously at Ken, whose eyes were far away. If Ken had told him something like this he didn't know what he'd be thinking. He didn't even know if he would be thinking.

Ken answered slowly, "I'm thinking… I'm not going to lose to Schuldich." His gaze rested on Yoji's lips, swept up to meet Yoji's eyes steadily. "You're mine, Yoji. Mine. I never thought it would happen, but it did. And I'm not letting you go, even if I have to send him and the rest of Schwartz to hell." His voice was full of quiet venom and his eyes flashed.

Yoji felt a flood of warmth roll through his veins. Ken was so different from Schu… Ken cared, and he said he did. And he was willing to defend his choice. Maybe it was time they openly acknowledge their relationship. He wasn't afraid to claim Ken and deal with the issues surrounding that choice now that he was sure Ken knew everything and still wanted him. But really, it had only been a week. Was it premature to announce anything?

"I don't want to hide the fact that we're together anymore, Ken," Yoji said. "But I think it would be awkward telling people."

"So we don't say anything about it, but we don't pretend anymore," Ken said. "They can come to their own conclusions."

Well, Yoji thought, that solves one problem. Now I just have to figure out what to do about Schu.