Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Shift and Turn ❯ Chapter Three ( Chapter 3 )

Author's Notes: Eh-heh...this story is really starting to get OOC. It's a damn good thing that this fic is only humor. *takes a deep breath* I will not start to hate this fic! I'll...finish it... But only for the readers that have come this far to *cues melodramatic music* chapter three!! *flicks lights on and off a couple times* Mwahahahahahaha!!

And now without further ado...

Disclaimer: These bishounen do not belong to me. *sobs* They belong to Takehito Koyasu *swoons* and Project Weiss and whoever owns them that I didn't list here. Speaking of which, I'm sure someone has written something similar to this (like someone hasn't conceived this idea). I don't plagiarize fics. I didn't copy this from someone else's work, so if it looks similar, don't email me with a 'You %#^%$&%*-ing copycat' message or something. Besides, I've never seen a Ran-Brad-Youji love triangle. Have you? (Tell me, onegai, if you have. I wanna read it!)

Did I mention that as much as I tried to insert a plot, it's pretty much PWP? *sniffles* I tried! Honest!

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Shift and Turn [chapter three]

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~A couple of weeks later~

"Nani?" Youji asked, "You want me to go where?"

"My place," Schuldig answered non-chalantly.

"Alone?!" Youji gasped, "Where a bunch of assassins can skin me alive?!"

"Hey, one of those assassins is the guy you like. Besides, I think Farfarello would be the only one to skin you alive. Nagi would probably compress your body until you can't breathe your bones break, and Brad would simply shoot you."

Youji mewed and clung to Schuldig, "You have to come with me!"

"No. I'll be at the Koneko seducing Ran. What we've tried hasn't worked so far, so it's up to me to get Ran and up to you to get Brad."

"You think I could get him drunk and handcuff him to a bedpost?" Youji asked wistfully.

"Go for it. But remember, he is pre-cognitive."

"Damn."

*** *** ***

"Youji what the hell are you doing in my home?" Brad did a double-take when he noticed the Weiss assassin. The younger man was dressed in black leather that showed off his toned and over-all sexy body, "Schuldig isn't here at the moment."

"I don't want Schuldig," Youji purred, "I want you."

"Eh-heh...I don't go for leather," Brad pointed out.

"Oh sure," Youji agreed sarcasticly, "But when it's Ran who has you under him, moaning his name, while he's decked out in leather, you're all turned on."

"Ah, but it's Ran," Brad said, remembering the memory of that event...and then wondering how Youji would've guessed that happened before.

"We can role-play and--"

"Uh-uh," Brad shook his head.

"But Braaaaaaaad..."

"Don't call me that."

[Author's note: Cue the soap opera music here. -_-;; Um...I took a sudden melodramatic dive...and -er- drowned...]

Youji let out a frustrated sigh, "Brad, I like you. I really do. It doesn't matter how small you are," -Brad twitched- "Or how much of a sadistic bastard you can be sometimes. I like you. Maybe even love. Can't we just try?"

"I would just try, but then Ran would have both of our heads --in a bad way-- and I don't like to deal with a pissed off Ran."

"No one has to know. After all, you're the one with the psychic powers, not Ran."

"I don't know about that. He seems to know every time that Schuldig tackle-glomps me. 'Have you been touching that little German whore again?' he accuses. 'But Ran, I wasn't touching him. He was touching me. It's always been that way'."

"You could just say Schuldig tackle-glomped you again," Youji suggested.

"I could...couldn't I?"

"Yeah, it's nothing like lying to a telepath right? Schuldig always knows where I've been and who I've been touched by."

"Fine-fine," Brad agreed, "Seme or uke?"

"Um..."

*** *** ***

"Oh Ran-chan..."

Ran glared, picking up the nearest pair of shears in the flowershop and pointing them centimeters away from Schuldig's neck, "You ever call me that again and I'll give you a tracheotomy."

Schuldig lifted his hands and took a step backwards, "You should put down those scissors. You might hurt someone doing that."

"I'd be doing that intentionally this time."

"Ne, let's close up shop for the day. I say you and I should head upstairs to your apartment for some hot sex."

"I can't do that."

"Why not? No one's here..."

"It would make Brad sad."

"Huh?"

"He said that if I agreed to your advances that he'd See it."

"Whatever," Schuldig said, waving him off, "Just tell him that paranoia set off a fake vision."

"But--"

"It worked with me, when I told him that, every time. That is until the bastard walked in on me. I told him the moaning he was hearing was nothing, but did he listen and go away? Noooo. Dammit, I should've locked my bedroom door that time."

"He really fell for it, until he caught you?"

"Oh yeah, I was all 'Brad, it's just your imagination' and he would study me for a few moments, but me being the wonderful liar that I am, was able to convince the Great Oracle that he did not See all."

"Well...okay I guess..."

Schuldig smirked, grabbing Ran by the wrist and leading him to Ran's apartment.

"Just this once though."

*** *** ***

Youji blinked. All that work...for nothing?

"See? What'd I tell ya?" Schuldig asked.

"Shut up. I still think he's hot."

"I already know he's hot. Then why'd you come back?" the German leaned in to kiss him, but Youji shoved him back.

"Why'd you come back?"

"I figured you might be lonely without me."

"Sure, whatever." This time he allowed the telepath to kiss him.

"That, and experiences tell me you're the best lay in town," Schuldig told him.

"I knew it was that."

Schuldig's gaze met Youji's, "But I do love you."

"Yeah, you love my--- what?"

"I love you," Schuldig repeated, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing...I guess I never expected you to say that. I mean, after all we've been through."

Schuldig chuckled.

"You think they know about each other's affairs?"

"Probably."

~Else Where~

"I did NOT make that mark on your neck!" Ran shouted.

"What are you talking about? Of course you did. Who else would?"

"Someone...I don't know. Not me," Ran pouted, "You cheated on me Brad!"

"Well it doesn't help that I saw a vision of Schuldig fucking you!"

"That was just----that was just...your imagination!"

"Uh-huh. You're not as good of a liar as Schuldig. You were cheating on me too!"

"Only cause you slept with someone too!"

"Aha, so you admit to it! And I'll have you know that I got that vision before Youji even seduced me. So I know you must've done it first."

"You had sex with Youji?!"

"You had sex with Schuldig!" Brad accused.

"That's different. Do you know where that guy's been?"

"Probably no where better than Schuldig."

"Shi ne, out of my room!"

"But Ran--"

"Out of my room!"

Reluctantly, Brad left pausing at the doorway of Ran's room, "I love you."

"Shi ne!"

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*cackles* And Schu and Youji have successfully destroyed a relationship. ^^;;;;; Aw, don't worry. Ran and Brad have make up sex sometime later and it's all good. I know if I tried to include that in this fic, it'd be all angsty and out of place. After all, the RxB relationship is angsty. Well, in my opinion it is. Hope you enjoyed the fic, minna-san. Though nothing really got resolved...Youji thought Schuldig was better than Brad, and Schuldig (subconciously?) thought Youji was better than Ran.

I love Brad. I really do. I didn't mean to be so mean to him. I like poking fun at him (kinda like how I never call the guy "Crawford" cause "Brad" annoys him ^^). Um...to all you Brad-lovers out there who are getting your weapons ready to hunt me down (like a fox!) I'll write a nice Brad-centic fic someday. Honest. So please put down your weapons, don't send me any viruses via email.... *flees the scene*