Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Smile in Regret ❯ Living in Lack ( Chapter 4 )

Smile in Regret

Chapter 4: “Living in Lack”

Fan fic by: Omni-sama

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Ratings, disclaimers, etc, found in prologue.

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The warm, poisonous smoke filled his lungs as he sucked on the cigarette. Some of it lingered still even after he exhaled. Beneath him the mattress dipped and jerked a little as the other occupant shifted in the bed.

 

“Do you have to smoke that now?”

 

He took another puff, slowly letting it flow out before he responded, “It's my room. I can smoke in here if I want to.”

 

There was a sigh, and more shifting, and then he felt the cigarette be pulled out of his fingers' grasp. Turning his head, he watched in mild shock as the other man placed the stick between his own lips and took a drag. Purple eyes winced and the man quickly exhaled, reaching over to stub the cigarette out in the ashtray on the nightstand.

 

“That's fucking disgusting.”

 

“It's an acquired taste,” he said with a slight smirk.

 

“Hn.”

 

He watched as those violet eyes grew distant, the cigarette and present conversation being quickly forgotten. The man seemed troubled, haunted. Licking his lips to savor the slight trace of nicotine he could taste on them, he weighed out the right words to say. “Thinking about the mission plans for tomorrow?” he asked. The violet eyes did not even look at him to acknowledge the question. Instead, they stared blankly towards the opposite wall. He let out a sigh and reached over to gently place his fingers beneath the other man's chin, directing the head to turn and face him. “Look,” he said softly, rubbing his thumb over the other man's lips, “I know you don't want to do this. I'm not even sure why it was you accepted it… You didn't have to. The rest of us could take care of it, if you'd rather…”

 

That got a reaction. The other man's eyes flashed for a moment, in either anger or defiance. Jerking his head free of the grasp that held it, he glared. “I'm going,” he said simply.

 

There was a silence between them for a moment, and then he said carefully, hoping not to upset the redhead, “You're going to try to save her, aren't you?” When he received no other answer besides a jaw set in determination, he went on to say, “Aya, you've seen the files the same as I… You've seen the pictures, the footage… You've seen all of it. You know she's beyond `saving'… Something happened during the ceremony, just like the files say. Something got into her, and it never fully left-”

 

“I know what the files say, Yohji. I know. But I can't believe that. She never showed any sign after that incident that she had changed like that… I can't believe what the files say is true.”

 

“But it makes sense… It says she's been playing us… Of course she'd act like her normal self around us. She wanted to keep our confidence in her. She wanted to remain close to us so that she could use us.” And every time he said “us,” he was thinking “you.” She was always the closest to Aya. The only one she ever clung to was Aya. She certainly never attempted to win Yohji's favor… No. And it didn't matter, because he never liked her anyway.

 

He sighed after another short silence and moved over closer to the other man, rolling so that he stretched half atop him. “Just don't worry about it right now, Aya… Just don't think about any of that… We'll deal with things when they come, but for now…just don't think.” He followed his words with the press of lips against a pale chest, following the hard lines of muscle up to a collarbone. The body beneath his started to relax, melting from the attention, welcoming the distraction. A warm wet tongue trailed up from the collarbone to an ear, and he felt the body jerk slightly with a sharply inhaled breath. Beneath his lips and tongue, he could feel the rising pulse through the arteries in the neck. This was so much better than thinking.

 

*****

 

He didn't want to wake up. It hurt to be awake. And the reality of the waking world was a lot shittier than his erotic dreams illustrated with memories. God, how he missed that man… Missed the way he tasted, the way he felt…

 

“Rise and shine, Ku-….fuck.”

 

Somehow he managed to crack his eye open a little, but all he could see were Schuldig's shoes and the hem of his beige slacks. And the floor, of course. And blood. But it hurt to have his eye open, so he let it fall closed again, feeling the odd sensation of his eyelashes brushing against the damp floor. He was lying on his stomach, face pressed against the hard, wet surface beneath him.

 

“Holy shit…” Schuldig seemed surprised. It took Yohji a moment to figure out why. If he could laugh, he would. But it hurt to breathe, so he didn't think he'd manage the laughter thing too well.

 

“What's wrong? Is something wrong with Brother?”

 

“What? You mean this wasn't you?”

 

“What wasn't me? What's wrong?” Footsteps. One set, then another shuffling a little to the side. Then silence. He cracked his eye open again and saw two sets of shoes, then he closed it once more. It hurt.

 

“What has happened to Brother?”

 

“Fuck if I know. I just got here, too, you know…” More footsteps, then a slight nudge to his side caused pain to flair up through his body. But it hurt too much to yell. He heard himself wheeze as his body was rolled over a little. Not all the way, just rolled enough so that the other men could get a better look at his injuries.

 

“Holy shit… Holy fucking shit…”

 

“How could you think that was me? The cuts are not nearly as clean as mine would be.”

 

“Fuck. Farf, don't you realize… Aw, fuck it.. Just… Just go get Craw-…wait. Shit. Crawford. This was Crawford.”

 

“What?”

 

“Crawford did this. It has to be him. I didn't, you didn't, Nagi sure as fuck wouldn't… Who does that leave?”

 

“Crawford did this to Brother? Why was I not sent to do this? He's my brother. I should be the one to hurt him.”

 

Schuldig made a disgusted sound and Yohji felt himself be rolled back onto his stomach. It hurt even more to have that done, but his body couldn't even flinch. “Goddamn sick son of a bitch…” he heard Schuldig mutter. He agreed.

 

“Farf, go get Brad.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Footsteps retreated and the door creaked open, but the footsteps stopped short. “If he's alive, should I clean and patch his wounds before you two start in on him?” Nagi's voice asked with a detachment that Yohji found strange.

 

“Shit. No, Nagi, you stay outside. Don't come in here. …Wait, you knew he was injured?”

 

“Yes. Crawford-san came in and sent me away, then closed the door. I heard screaming. …Why can't I come in? Is he dead?”

 

“No. He's still alive. If anything, I can tell from the faint brainwaves…”

 

“Is he that bad, then?… What did Crawford-san do?”

 

“Just…don't worry about it. Go with Farf and get Brad here. Now.”

 

There were sounds of movement, of walking, of the door closing, and then there was silence. Schuldig sighed into that silence, then his footsteps walked away, before pacing back and forth in a far corner. “Fuck,” he kept saying under his breath. “Fuck..sick bastard…”

 

It took too much energy to be awake, and he didn't have any energy left. He felt himself drift off into a dreamless sleep. When he woke up again, he was temporarily disoriented. He didn't know how much time had passed, and for a moment he even forgot where he was. But then voices pierced through the confused fog that was his mind, and it all came back to him.

 

“-sick possessive son of a bitch! I can't believe you did that because of some fucking `vision'! Do you really think that I'd have tried anything with him? God… Don't you think this is a bit overkill? Couldn't you have just spoken to me about it?” Schuldig seemed angry, but also rather nervous, Yohji noted. On edge, perhaps freaked out a little. Or maybe he was nervous that the man he was yelling at would try to hurt him like he hurt Yohji.

 

“And if I had just spoken to you, I was to simply believe you when you tell me that you'd have no interest in him?” Crawford seemed calm, if maybe a bit annoyed.

 

“Yes! Why wouldn't you believe me?”

 

“Oh, let me think… Sven, Gunther, Johann, Merten, Alric…”

 

“Damn, are you still obsessing over that shit? Look, I only ever fucked with Merten, the others I just flirted with a little. What the fuck does it matter, anyway? You aren't my boyfriend or husband or anything. You're just my coworker, who I like to have sex with sometimes. I thought we had already talked about all that shit. So why do you keep acting like the jealous lover!”

 

“Fine. But this time it wasn't so much because I was acting the `jealous lover.' He's our captive. If he had seduced you, he might have talked you into freeing him.”

 

“Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you see the shape he was in before you got your sadistic hands on him? He was in no condition to seduce a blind hunchback!”

 

Yohji wasn't sure if he found that statement amusing or insulting. Eventually he decided it was a little of both. He'd have cracked a smile, but it seemed like his face muscles weren't working much, either.

 

“Even so, I had a vision, and it said-”

 

“To fucking Hell with your goddamn visions! Despite what you'd like to have us all believe, I know for a fact that you have a shit load of false visions. This was one of them. What you did was uncalled for, and just downright sick. Look, I know we're supposed to be the evil bastards here, but don't you think that was taking it a tad too far?”

 

There was a sigh that he assumed was Crawford's, then the sharp click of expensive shoes against the hard floor. “What if I was to tell you that I plan to release him?”

 

“Don't touch me.” A light smacking sound illustrated in Yohji's mind Schuldig batting Crawford's hand away. “What do you mean you're going to release him?”

 

“He's no good to us at the moment. I doubt he was to begin with, if his claims are true. But, whether what he says is true or not, either way Weiß will be looking for him. He's bound to make contact with them at some point. So, we release him, keep a close eye on him, then wait for Weiß to come to us.”

 

“And you had to…to do that to him, in order to carry out this plan?” The disgust was apparent in the German's voice. “I said don't fucking touch me.” There was another small smacking noise.

 

“No, that was merely a bonus.”

 

“Sick bastard.”

 

“Why are you so upset about it? It's not like I did that to you.”

 

“It's just sick, Brad.”

 

“Whatever.” He could just imagine Crawford removing his glasses to pinch at the bridge of his nose, an action he'd seen Aya do before when he was reading and Yohji kept bugging him. God…Aya… “Just hose him down, wrap him in something, and bring him out to the car,” Brad continued. His distinctive shoes shifted as he prepared to walk away, but they paused. “What is it?”

 

“Purple and red again,” Schuldig said absently.

 

“What?”

 

“Purple and red. I can't get much out of him, but I get purple and red a lot. The strangest mix of emotions comes with those colors, too. It doesn't make any sense…”

 

“Hn. We'll worry about it later. For now, just get him cleaned up and ready to move.”

 

He drifted off again, only to be awoken later by a cold blast of water. Nothing was clear, and he didn't know what was going on. He kept drifting in and out, barely catching random words. His body was being shifted, lifted, and he was moving. It hurt. It hurt a lot. But he couldn't say anything. So, he just let himself slip back into unconsciousness.

 

There was an instance where he awoke to strange faces and unfamiliar voices. There was beeping, and clicking, and car sounds. Something was down his throat, other things pressing at him all over his body. The pain wasn't so bad anymore, but it was still present. Just dulled. Someone shined a small light in his eye and moved it back and forth, then it was gone and all he could see were colored spots. Then he couldn't see anything anymore.

 

The next time he woke up, he was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. There was beeping again, but it was different than before. Unable to move his head, his eye examined what it could of the room. A hospital room, he decided. He was in a hospital.

 

“Oh!” There was a female gasp to his left, and he strained to see who was there with his right eye. “You're awake!” the voice exclaimed. He could just barely see her head, but her face was too blurry to make out.

 

Trying to open his mouth to respond, he found he couldn't, and that it hurt quite a bit to attempt it. “No no no,” the nurse chided softly, placing a hand on his chest to calm him, “Don't try to speak. We had to wire your jaw shut… I'll go get the doctor now. He'll explain things.” With that, she left him alone in the little hospital room with only his confused thoughts for company.

 

Jaw wired shut? So his jaw had been broken?… That explained why he wasn't able to use it earlier, either… Cautiously, he tried flexing various muscles in his body to assess the damage done. Clenching his pained jaw and flinching after only a few tries, he determined it would maybe be best to wait and hear the full report from the doctor instead.

 

After the doctor came in and gave him a full, and lengthy list of injuries and what was being done to heal them, Yohji almost wished he'd remained completely ignorant. He felt sick to his stomach, but he knew that with his jaw wired, it wouldn't be a good idea to give in to the feeling. Instead, he gave in to the drugs and let himself drift off back to sleep. It wasn't like he could do anything while awake, anyway. Part of him hoped he dreamed while he slept, so that he could hold Aya again, even if it was just in his head. The other part of him, however, hoped the drugs would keep all the dreams at bay. There was, after all, no guarantee that his dreams would be remotely pleasant.

 

“Sir,” he heard the doctor say just as he was about to slip into unconsciousness. Dragging himself back to the waking world, he cracked his eye open to regard the doctor sleepily. “When you can speak again, the police want to ask you a few questions… And we still do not know your identity…”

 

He tried for a little nod, which didn't work so well and resulted in a lot of pain, but the doctor seemed to understand and gave his own nod. As his eye drifted closed again, he heard the man leave the room and shut and lock the door behind him. Just as the last bit of conscious thought started to fade, Yohji wondered absently why they had to lock him in. It wasn't like he was in any shape to run away… Oh well, he'd worry about all of that some other time… Right now there were more important things to do…like sleep.

 

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Tsuzuku…