Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Soliloquies ❯ The new initiate and the joys of Aya watching ( Chapter 3 )

The new initiate and the joys of Aya-watching

I've always believed in the question "why fight it?" As hedonistic as that may sound, it's near to my life philosophy, which by the way I have a shit load of. There be many things in my life that I just can't fight, don't want to fight, got tired of fighting, and didn't even know why the hell they happened. This fucked-up job, the quaintness of `an assassin in a flower shop' idea, being codenamed as a cat, Manx's warped sense of footwear (stilettos with socks?), my western looks, the clumsiness of Ken, the way Omi never seem to grow up, Aya's perpetual temper tantrums, my hot damned sexiness… they're mysteries of my so-called life. So after weeks of fretting over this whole "holy shit I'm gay" scenario, I've decided to throw in the towel and just ride with it.

Now that I've accepted my being attracted to you know who, then my dreams with him and me in thoroughly adult situations stop.

And I thought I was born normal.

But I don't even care about the end of my dreams anymore. Well… in a way I do. Shit, whatever. The thing is, now that the main supplement (the dreams) to my Aya-obsession is gone, I crave for some other to supplement it- hence the formation of "Aya-watching". Really, I thought I was the author of such sport, but lately I found out that I'm just another new initiate of the hundreds of full-fledged members. And about quite the half of it are male. So I feel quite at home. Emphasis on `quite' please. See, I'm beginning to feel the skull-boring stare of a certain green-eyed monster behind my back, and I don't like it one bit, not one bit at all. It's quite fucked up to my opinion, actually. He's not mine, and I doubt if I'll ever have the balls to claim him as mine rightfully. I don't sit well with jealousy, I believe in the freedom of a man to appreciate beauty, whether said beauty is owned or not. So my wanting to just slice the head off of the next man who even just inclines his head towards Aya's way, more so the man who'll leer, it's just fucked up.

But, over on to the good side of things. Other than my getting jealous, I get a lot of knowledge from this new hobby of mine. For one, that Aya is a deceptively stoic man. Because if you look close enough, and long enough, you'd see that apart from the times he goes running and screaming shi-ne, he actually does react to emotional stimulus. He gets irritated with the girls, oh that's a given. But sometimes, his severe countenance softens every time a shy girl who has braided hair (usually) comes up to him and not tries to mangle him with affections. Or when some old lady who has the eye for flowers converses with him in the joys of flower arranging. And also that one time a man and his little boy went in the shop to find a bouquet for the mother's birthday. There was a ghost of a smile there in those soft lips, a hidden joy in those lavender eyes. Maybe it's just my imagination, but after that the air around him seemed to lighten. Maybe he's a family man…

Other than his "soft moments" as I'd like to call it, he's got his other moments. Like the color ultra neon pink irritates him (unfortunately for that one student whose gift wrapper was of that color), but then again, who isn't irritated with a color like that? Oh, that he drinks hot jasmine tea, or peppermint tea. He dislikes coffee, but he'll drink a vanilla flavored one. He secretly smokes some very thin cigarettes in days when he's stressed as hell (especially after very taxing missions) and also once in a blue moon, he'll drink a couple of vodkas. He likes Mondays (oddly enough, but then again everything about the man is odd), that's the day he's usually not as pissed off as, say, Saturdays. He does not have a single porn material in possession, but he's got a room full of books. For a nationalistic guy (c'mon, he uses a traditional sword!) like him, he reads a lot of foreign books, mostly English and a mild spattering of some German and French. Philosophy books, tch'. He has several books by the same authors, must be favorites. He owns a traditional yukata but he likes wearing black boxers. Am I freaking you out yet?

One day, I'll use all of this information to my advantage… if you get my drift.