Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Soliloquies ❯ Yohji's first ( Chapter 13 )

Yohji's first

 

This. Sucks.

 

So all I wanted to do was tell him how I felt, and tell him that I'm not rushing him or anything, and that I'll be waiting for his decision, and what does the ungrateful little… fucker do- gives me a whopper right in the eye, and a sucker to the arm. Great. Just great. Yohji Kudou, this is your life!

 

I don't care if I'm brooding for the past week. I don't care if I'm over-reacting. Damn it, he thought I was trying to kill him! He didn't even trust me enough to not think of me betraying the group. So that's what I am to him, huh? A poor sod of a killer, going over the edge, that's all I am to him. Well, let him think what he wants to, goddamn paranoid idiot.

 

So I said, “Aya, I…” right? Well I went over to him and looked down at his form, arm still over his eyes, lips utterly inviting. So I gave in, who wouldn't? I leaned over, placed a hand above his head for balance, and the other under his chin. Next thing I know I'm sprawling on the floor, face hurting like hell, and he lording it over me, looking like he could spit fire. So I screamed his name, “AYA!” and followed it with “what the fuck?!”. He just watches me then says “I knew it.” And I go, “what? What do you know?” and my poor confused heart was just about to give up on me when he kicked me on the shin.

 

So I got up, limping of course, and shouting, “Aya, what the hell is wrong with you man?!” I got another blow for that, so I defended myself. Bump, bump, bump, we went, kicking, punching, dodging. I managed to corner him back to the bed, and I swiped his legs and he fell on the bed again, but not without taking me along with him. We struggled for some time, creak creak creak went the poor bed, and I finally pinned him under me.

 

“Aya what the hell is wrong with you?! I'm sorry if I tried to kiss you, gods! I'm sorry, okay?!”

 

“Kiss me?! You were trying to kill me, you asshole!”

 

Huh?

 

He took advantage of that confusion and reversed the positions- he pinning me under by sitting on my torso, both hands cutting of the circulation in my wrists.

 

“Kill you? Why would I kill you?! I love you, for fuck's sake! Now get off of me before I do something you won't want me to do!”

 

Great silence. Well, how could I not be silent? I couldn't even breathe!

 

“What did you say…?”

 

“I said I might do something you won't…”

 

“No. Before that.”

 

“I…uh…”

 

“YOHJI” he thundered, “what did you say?”

 

“I said. I love you. There. The cat's out of the bag. What're you gonna do about it?”

 

Stunned silence. He just sat on me and stared at me with those deep lavender eyes of apparent confusion.

 

“But you wanted to kill me.”

 

“What?”

 

“You… were going to kill me, right? That's why you're doing all those things you were doing… that's why I began being close to you… so I could thwart your plans…”

 

My turn to be silent. I don't know whether to be angry or laugh my head off. He thought I wanted to kill him? So I struggled against him, which made him snap out of his reverie, and the bed protested with another set of creaks. That was when we heard the kitchen door slam, and we looked at each other in question for some time.

 

“You weren't trying to kill me?” he asked, finally releasing my wrists, which I quickly massaged.

 

“Hell no! Whatever gave you that idea?”

 

“Well…” he looked unsure, not able to meet my eyes. “You were acting funny.”

 

“Funny?”

 

“You were staring at me… watching me… AND going through my stuff.” He said the last statement with an accusing glare.

 

“Aya, that's not acting funny, that's not acting me-planning-to-kill-you, that's acting… uh… was acting like a fool…” finally his words sunk in me and the situation suddenly turned sour in my mouth, and I had to get away. So I snapped at him to get off of me, which he did with an apologetic look on his face.

 

“So… you being friends with me these past weeks were just…”

 

“I thought…”

 

“Right. You thought I was trying to kill you. Of course, first rule for the victim, be friendly with your killer.”

 

“I didn't know when you were planning to strike, so I thought being with you would…”

 

“But you didn't think I'd read it as a signal to…”

 

“I didn't know you… you `liked' me that way.”

 

“Yeah, well, you led me on.”

 

“I didn't mean to.”

 

“And you still don't?”

 

“…”

 

“Right. Well. One, you don't trust me as a teammate, two you don't want me for a friend, three, forget about us getting together, and four, you think I'm a nutcase. Gee. I feel better. Thanks Aya.”

 

“You were unstable. I wouldn't know what you were thinking.”

 

“Fuck what I was thinking, man; the issue here is that YOU do not TRUST ME.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Yeah, sure you do.”

 

“You were UNSTABLE, Yohji… after that Neu incident.”

 

I remember tears welled up my eyes. So I got up and left.

 

“Yohji…”

 

“Aya, you just shot down the only hope I have. Leave me be to sulk like any normal spurned suitor, okay?”

 

(AYA)

 

But… he was gone through the door before I can say anything else.

 

“You never even asked.” I said, to no one.

 

(YOHJI)

 

Just like that. Shot me down, just like that. Didn't even hear me out. Just like that. So the week after that had been pure hell for Omi and Ken. Aya? Well, he just gives me that look. Fuck, I'm trying to ignore him, okay, so I wouldn't be able to tell you how he was. Man, this brooding thing's great, by the way the others are giving me space, all of them feeling guilty and all… I would be laughing now if I didn't feel shitty in the first place. Yeah, well, it's just me, a beer, and a cigarette out here on the rooftop.

 

“Cease, cows, life is short!” I shouted out a line I heard from somewhere I can't remember. Heh, well, I just got dumped, so I got the right to act real badly. Hmm. I kinda like this `dumpee-right-to-act-shitty'. I never had the chance to be a dumpee before, always was the dumper. Can't get the girl I want, (because hell, I just killed her), can't get the only guy I ever wanted*…

 

Well, there's a first for everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a/n: I gotta, and I will, wrap up this story soooooon. It's been dragging. Fic's back to `angsting'… yay… hehe.

 

*line partially taken from Carlo Vergara's One Night in Purgatory (great graphic novel, btw) that goes: “Can't get the girls I want, can't get the only guy I ever wanted…” or something like that.