Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Standing Outside the Fire ❯ 08 ( Chapter 8 )

8

 

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?

 

My second day of classes wasn't so bad, in spite of patchy sleep the night before and a longer day. I didn't have the extended lunch break this time, only half an hour to get to the dining hall and eat and then get back to class, but I wasn't inclined to dawdle over my food, either.

 

This day I started reciting the alphabet in German and saying a few basic words. The teacher glared at me like I was doing it all wrong. I figured that was due to my Kentucky ways. Konnor had said that Shelley could help with that, and I intended to take him up on it. No matter how much I wanted to keep my own voice, it kind of made me a target here, and that was the last thing I wanted to be.

 

I learned a little bit about the mind talents, just enough to be grateful I'd read so many comic books back home. It wasn't too hard to follow along and put things together here. The color codes were so other people knew what they were dealing with when they met up with a student. Made sense, really. I figured I wouldn't want to run up against someone who could blast me into smithereens with his mind and not know it was coming. Then again, with my gift, I'd probably know anyway.

 

By the time the school day was ended and I'd done my share of damage to dinner, my feet hurt and all I wanted was to have some quiet time. I was already starting to look forward to seeing Konnor after classes, though it seemed kind of weird to me. Then again, he was kind of a familiar face now, and those do have their places.

 

He asked me how my day went, and smiled and nodded when I told him. He asked if I had any studying to do, and I told him I did. The work load was fairly heavy, with reading in four of the classes and language exercises to be turned in the next day. I'd already done the written stuff while waiting for the “food” to stop jumping around in my stomach, so all I had left was the reading. A lot of reading.

 

I sat on the sofa with my textbooks and picked one at random to start with. Political theory. I put it back in the pile and tried again. World history. Oh, well, it was as good as any.

 

Konnor seemed to be doing about the same thing with his paperwork, shuffling through the stack until he found one more to his liking. I grinned a little, seeing as we were kind of alike in that way.

 

I don't know how long I read, but when the telephone startled me out of my book it wasn't dark outside yet. Konnor answered the phone, and I went back to reading.

 

I looked up when Konnor stood abruptly and snarled something into the receiver, his voice growing louder until he was nearly shouting. I felt the little hairs at the back of my neck go up; I wanted to listen in, but he was talking in German and going way too fast for me to make out more than a few scattered words.

 

There was a pause, and I guessed he was listening to the guy on the other end for a moment. Whatever he heard made his face go chalky-pale. He took a shuddery breath and asked “who?” something.

 

That answer must have been even worse, because he lowered the handset to the phone and set it on the cradle in slow motion, like he was moving through mud. He blinked, then stared, then took a bottle and a small glass out of his desk.

 

“Tonight we must celebrate, Bradley,” Konnor said, though his voice sounded anything but happy. He poured himself a drink - I was pretty sure it wasn't for me - then raised the glass like he was toasting with it. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but washed it down with a swallow of the clear liquor. I knew it had to be something strong by the grimace he made as it went down. With a steady hand he refilled his glass, raised it, drained it.

 

My voice sounded small to me as I asked, “Are you all right? Konnor?” Something about the situation had me a little scared. I'd never seen anyone drink like that before; if he was this upset, it had to be very bad news.

 

Instead of replying, Konnor picked up the bottle and came over to the sofa. He gently placed the bottle on the table and sat down beside me, not looking at me at all.

 

I watched as he finished off that glass, then debated, then refilled it anyway.

 

After the fourth drink, he sat there staring at the glass for several minutes, as if he expected it to turn into a bird and fly away or something. He rolled it between his hands, catching glints of light off the edges, and his breathing slowed a little. I thought maybe he was dozing off.

 

I thought wrong.

 

With crisp movements he set the glass on the coffee table, then started stacking my books next to it like he needed something ordinary to do. Once the sofa was cleared except for the two of us, he finally turned to look at me.

 

What I saw in his eyes chilled me to the bone. It was like “Konnor” wasn't there, and not “Konnie” either. This…was Herr General, and he was not happy.

 

“Yes, we must celebrate,” he murmured, not sounding the least bit drunk to me, though his trained accent had slipped a little. “Tomorrow you are to join the other students in the dormitories. You must have impressed someone to be removed from my care so soon. I can only wonder…who?” As he spoke, he slowly removed his gloves, then placed them on the table.

 

My mind whirled. I was supposed to stay with Konnor for the first few months! I had no idea what to expect out there, or what to do. He was going to get me ready for the move in plenty of time, so I wouldn't be unprepared for it. I didn't even know the language yet!

 

I opened my mouth to say something, but he didn't let me speak. He set his fingertip to my lips and looked into my eyes. “It grieves me to say goodbye so soon, Bradley.”

 

Then he kissed me.

 

My back went stiff, and I felt hot and cold and shaky and just plain wrong. I didn't know if I wanted to faint or to run as fast as I could, but I did know that I didn't want him doing that, or anything else. I pulled back, my face burning. “Konnor -”

 

His hand gripped the back of my head and pulled me close again, and I couldn't get away this time. He pressed his mouth to mine and pried at my lips with his tongue. He tasted like peppermint.

 

Panicked thoughts screamed through my head. He's supposed to be my friend, my mentor, someone I thought I could trust! I wasn't stupid, I could guess where this was going even though the Sight had betrayed me big time - no hint, no warning, nothing.

 

I pushed at him, trying desperately to break away. In a strange way, it felt kind of…interesting, but all I wanted was for him to stop. I was only twelve, for crying out loud! I'd heard of things like this happening, but I'd never thought in a million years that it could ever happen to me!

 

Then his other hand was in my lap, touching me like he most certainly should not have been.

 

Terrified, I did the only thing I could think of. I bit his lip.

 

He pulled back, the offending hand rising to his mouth. His other hand still clutched my head.

 

I tried to reason with him, hoping against hope that he would let me go. “Don't do this, I don't want it! Konnor, please - no!”

 

“Second lesson,” he rasped. “Never beg.” His hand tightened in my hair and he leaned in so close I could see the flecks of ice in his eyes. “It's time you learned the rules, Bradley. More than time, I should think.” Then he kissed me again, hard enough to bruise my lip against my teeth.

 

I bit him again, hard this time.

 

That made him let go, but then he reached back and struck me across the face. My glasses flew off and bounced over the carpet. Before I could do anything else, Konnor was off the couch and hauling me after him by my hair. I tried to plant my feet so I wouldn't move, but he was much stronger. He shoved me down to the floor. My shoulder hit the coffee table on the way down, toppling the neat stack of books and knocking the bottle over. Violent peppermint wafted through the air.

 

I started to get up when I felt myself flipped over onto my back and pressed full against the carpet.

 

Konnor stood two feet away, delicately righting the bottle and moving his gloves away from the spilled liquor.

 

I struggled, but it was like being held down by an invisible giant! I couldn't move! I could barely even breathe!

 

Konnor looked down at me and said, “In time, Bradley, you will come to understand. It is not in my nature to be so…forceful, but circumstance demands…” His voice trailed off.

 

I tried one last time to talk him out of it, though I could pretty much guess it wouldn't do any good. “Konnor,” I wheezed, fighting just to get air into my chest, “please don't do this, you're my friend, I trusted you!”

 

Fast as a monster he was crouching beside me, the invisible grip never wavering. “I thought I told you,” he said, his voice falsely gentle before rising to a snarl, “never beg!”

 

I screamed, or I tried to, but all that came out was a squeak before the air went away. If I relaxed I could breathe, but that was like saying it was okay, and it was not okay. He undressed me like a doll, moving my arms and legs and butt for me and just sliding the clothes off. His hand was hot as he touched me, not like the doctor had done but worse, sort of slow and on-purpose touching. I didn't want it, I really didn't want it, but something about that touching made me feel kind of warm in the belly, and that wasn't a bad feeling. My thinking mind shouted warning after warning, but my body was starting not to care so much, and that scared me. Scared me so much, in fact, that it didn't feel so nice anymore, until everything felt kind of cold and tense and small.

 

Then Konnor picked me up and carried me toward his bedroom.

 

The force that kept me from moving was still there, or I would have kicked and fought, because it could only get worse from here. Helpless tears started seeping from my eyes, and I cursed at myself for showing such weakness. Sure it looked hopeless, but that was no excuse for giving up.

 

Konnor lay me down on his bed, the covers neat and tightly drawn beneath me. He gazed at me and for a moment it was only Konnor again, my friend, my mentor. I realized I could move, but at the same time I couldn't; I just stayed where he put me like I was frozen, only from the inside this time. He caressed my face and whispered, “I do this out of love for you, Bradley. My little star.”

 

Then he unfastened his pants.

 

I wanted to back up, to run, to do anything but just lie there and watch, but that's exactly what I did. I stared at him like a trapped animal waiting for the killing strike.

 

He joined me on the bed and started touching me again, and the more he did that the more excited he got. I didn't want to look, but I couldn't help myself. It looked almost painful, the way it was all red and swollen. At first it had looked a little strange, but the stiffer it got the more it looked like any other guy's.

 

And the more he touched, the more mine swelled like his. I didn't understand, if I didn't want to be doing this, why was I getting excited? It didn't make any sense, unless my sister was right when she'd said that peckers make men stupid.

 

Then Konnor shifted and moved toward my feet, and I tensed. If he was going to rape me, I knew there was no way I could fight him. I could only hope it wouldn't hurt too much, and he'd leave me alone after.

 

But he didn't do what I thought he was going to do. Instead, he leaned down and kissed me there, and I heard myself gasp. I'd played with it a few times myself, but never felt anything like that before. He opened his mouth and slid his lips around it like it was an ice-pop, and my gasp turned into a groan. It was making me stupid, all right; though I knew perfectly well what he wanted, I couldn't think clearly enough to find a way to stop him. I couldn't think hardly at all.

 

He kept licking on me, making me feel all crazy and tingly until it all got to be too much and I felt like I was capsizing, swept away by an unstoppable wave. Everything kind of tightened up and jolted, then relaxed like I was made of jelly.

 

Konnor gave a little whimper in the back of his throat. He moved up beside me, then knelt beside my head. His prick touched my lips, and I tried to turn my head away. “Ohhh, no,” he chided, gently turning my head back toward him. “You know what to do now, so do it.” His voice was like frosted silk as he added, “Or do I have to pin you down and choke you with it?”

 

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I didn't bother fighting when he pushed against my mouth, though the wet stuff on his prick tasted bitter. Desperately hoping that this would be the end of it, I tried to do to him what he had done to me. It wasn't easy to fit my lips around it, and I gagged a couple of times. He didn't seem to mind, he just knelt there kind of rocking back and forth and murmuring encouragement to me. I didn't care what he was saying, I just wanted to be done with it.

 

Suddenly he started moving faster, and it was all I could do not to gag up on it. “Oh, yes, Bradley! That's it! Beautiful, oh so beautiful…” He made a funny sound and slid his hand behind my head again, and my mouth was full of bitterness and salt. It spilled out onto his pillow, but he didn't seem to notice. His free hand caressed my face, the fingers tracing along my cheek as lightly as a feather.

 

I wanted to throw up.

 

Konnor got off the bed and slowly pulled the covers down, guiding me to get under them. Numb, I did so. I was cold, shaky cold, and there wasn't anyplace safe here anyway.

 

He got into bed beside me, pausing to turn the pillow over first, and gathered me into his arms. His lips brushed my ear as he whispered, “In time you will understand, Bradley.” His voice was so low I could barely hear him. I wasn't even certain he spoke out loud, though I could feel his breath on my face. “Know that I love you, my diamond. Never forget it.” He kissed my cheek, ignoring the tears that streamed and streamed. “I will always love you, no one can ever change that. No one. You are most precious to me.”

 

Something inside me broke apart and died as Konnor held me and whispered, “Good night, Bradley.”

 

 

 

 

A/N:

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?

“Empty Spaces” - Pink Floyd The Wall

 

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