Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Chapter 6: Augh! Stubby Fingers, Tiny Toes, and No Sex Appeal ( Chapter 6 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Switch

Chapter 6: Augh! Stubby Fingers, Tiny Toes, and No Sex Appeal!

By Carter Tachikawa


Disclaimer: *evil laugh* I did it! I did it! I own Weiss Kruez! I even have the copyright papers! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (Holds them up only to find out they are the political science papers that were due two years ago) WTF? They tricked me! Those *censored* dudes in the alley tricked me! So there you go, it *still* isn't mine! *sobs*

Summary: Ah…this again. Knocked out during a mission, our bishies wake up to find themselves switch in one another's body. Now Aya is amazed at how smart he sounds, Ken puts "-kun" at the end of everyone's name, Omi has seven dates to go on, and Yohji is about to kill both Omi and Aya for *censored* up his car. The insanity, the horror, blah blah blah!

Pairings: Need I say it again? RANKEN 4-ever! Of course! True, I play around a lot (and get stupidly confused though I'm the author) but it stays RanKen cause I like it that way!

(Ah, welcome back! I'm so glad I didn't royally screw up the last chapter unlike before. Carter no baka…sorry, I'm still pissed off at myself for that. Anyway, enough yelling at myself, onto some notes! When we last left off (And I think I forgot to put "TBC" at the end of the last chapter but I think you can tell it wasn't over), 'Aya'(Ken) and 'Yohji'(Aya) made up. 'Omi' (Yohji) broke the rules by smoking and making one too many dates. 'Ken' (Omi) had to play soccer with children of the devil and came back looking like hell himself. Now 'Yohji' went to see what happened to the Porsche, unaware that his lover has left a horrible scratch on the back. As 'Aya' nears his doom, he is amazed when 'Yohji' goes to the front and sees things are fine…except the whole place smells like smoke. Now 'Ken' is ready to attack 'Omi' and 'Yohji' will most likely kill 'Aya' once he sees the scratch. And this is where the next chapter begins.)

BTW, for all who read the previews at the end of "WSIR", this is where that little part comes in…you know, stubby legs and 'Ken' talking all smart? Yeah, this will be here. Manx makes an appearance and boys get a mission. (Dun dun dun!)

Thanks to the wonderful reviewers:

Keeshe Kaldaka (hears hoping your scanner works soon), amber, jenny, F.Yuki (I can never get your entire name, I'm so sorry!), lorien, Taline, Ryia Jen Rowen, Cherub Katan, fei, and kamibukurosama (yes, Aya and Ken sound even better when they sing "Bosanova Casanova"! That song has a nice beat to it and they are awesome!)

And now, I shall begin from where I left off…

* * *

*I'm off the hook!* 'Aya' let out a sigh as he watched himself advance closer to 'Omi' in a menacing way. It was funny, considering that 'Ken' was still dirty from his hellish game with the kids. It made him look more like monster now. 'Omi' turned red and looked away.

"You're not going to hurt yourself, are you?" 'Omi' asked. "I mean, this *is* your body…"

"Yohji-kun, didn't I tell you that you could *not* smoke while you were in my body?" 'Ken' began in a soft and sweet voice that almost made 'Omi' wet himself.

"Yes." 'Omi' spoke up in a high, scared voice. He may be older than 'Ken' technically but he wasn't in his old body anymore. 'Omi' could…and most likely would… hurt him.

"Didn't I say that I didn't want you to destroy my body with your filthy habits?"

"Yes." Time was running out.

"And what did you do?"

"I couldn't help it!" 'Omi' confessed. He was almost ready to break down. "I had a craving! It's not fair, chibi! Do you know how_"

"No, and I don't care!" 'Ken' snapped. 'Omi' diverted his gaze to the ground. 'Aya' shuddered, getting closer to 'Yohji' for some protection. It was kind of chilling to see him acting so uncharacteristically angry. "I told you there was to be absolutely NO smoking while we were switched! You broke the rules!"

"Not only that, you were smoking in my car." 'Yohji' took the moment to speak.
"You took it without my permission and you were smoking in it."

"Okay, okay! I did smoke in it! But I had only one…"

"Too many." 'Yohji' finished off. "You had one too many. I found six cigarette butts in here."

"Six?!" 'Ken' exploded. "Not one but six?! Yohji-kun!"

"I'm sorry!" 'Omi' apologized, putting his hands to his head. "I didn't think it would matter. And besides, I'm not the only who broke rules today. Ken scratched up Aya's car!"

*No!* 'Aya' gulped. That bastard Yohji! How could he rat on him like that?! Everything was going fine until he decided to mention that lovely incident again. He sent a death glare at 'Omi's' direction. 'Omi' sent him a look back that read 'If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, Hidaka!'[1] Time had finally come.

'Yohji' turned to 'Aya' and gave him a death glare, something weird to see on Yohji's face especially if one was up close like 'Aya' was.

"Is that true?" He demanded.

"I…um…" 'Aya's' stomach turned to ice. This was not how he wanted to make his confession. Thank God 'Yohji' didn't have his katana (or wire, depending on whether he wanted to remain in character on missions or not) at that moment.

"Is that true? Did you leave a scratch on my car?"

"It was an accident…"

"You didn't answer my question. Did you or did you not leave a scratch on my car?" 'Yohji' growled. The scene made them look like a father scolding his son rather than a lover scolding his lover.

'Aya' lowered his redhead. "Yes."

'Yohji's' glare hardened. "Where is it?"

"On the back. I'm sorry, koi."

"I didn't ask you to apologize. I want to see it."

"Is it necessary?"

"I want to see it." 'Yohji' spoke through clenched teeth. 'Aya' gave up trying to save himself and motioned 'Yohji' to follow him. 'Omi' let out a sigh of relief.

"Great! I'm off the hook!" He exclaimed.

"Oh no, you are not!" 'Ken' snapped, his dark eyes flashing. He grabbed 'Omi' by the ear and pulled him close, making the older man turned young boy yelp in pain. "You are going to pay for what you did to me…NOW!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Omittichi! These are your own dirty ears you're hurting!"

"Dirty?!"

"Oops." 'Omi' knew he had picked a bad choice of words.

Meanwhile, 'Aya' looked miserable as he pointed to the scratch on the car. 'Yohji's' face turned red with fury, almost the hair color he used to have. He sent a glare in 'Aya's' direction.

"Why did you attempt to drive it in the first place?" He demanded.

*Oh God, he hasn't attacked me yet.* 'Aya' sighed with relief. Out loud, he shrugged. "Well…I figured since you wouldn't drive my motorcycle and it would look weird to the crowd, I better try…and learn to drive?"

"How did this scratch there?"

"I don't know! I ran over a box…"

"You ran over what?!" 'Yohji' twitched.

"A box. But it was an empty box!"

"I don't care about that!" 'Yohji' snapped. "You ran over a box with my car. You scratched my car. You drove it when I didn't even give you permission to do so. Do you know what this means?"

"I'm in trouble." 'Aya' murmured.

'Yohji' nodded firmly. "A lot of it."

"Well!" A new voice exclaimed in the midst of all the arguing. "I didn't expect to see you all outside!"

Turning away from one another, they saw Manx standing behind them and watching them argue like maniacs. This was bad news. They knew Kritiker would have a mission for them eventually but they didn't expect it to happen to soon. Yet here was Manx, waiting for them all to get inside and get downstairs. They couldn't tell her what happened. At once, 'Aya', 'Ken' and 'Yohji' got into character. 'Omi', however, forgot about whose body he was in and shot a sly grin in her direction.

"Hey there, Manx." He greeted in a seductive tone.

Manx raised an eyebrow. "Hi, Omi."

"How about we skip the important talk and go into the…ow! Ow! Ow!" 'Omi' yelped again as 'Ken' pinched the fleshy part of his back. "O…Ken-kun! Why are you pinching me?!"

"Sorry. My hand slipped and I had to grab something." 'Ken' said in a cool tone. 'Omi' was still rubbing the area that 'Ken' had tugged, now bright red.

"Uh…wassup, Manx?" 'Yohji' said. 'Omi' groaned softly.

"He did not just say 'wassup', did he?" He asked. 'Ken' nodded but stayed quiet.

Manx thought Yohji sounded strange but said nothing. Besides, there were more important things to worry about now. "New mission."

'Yohji' turned to 'Aya' as they headed inside. "You will pay for that scratch later."

*Not with my life, I hope.* 'Aya' thought. But he survived…for a few more minutes.

Once the five of them were inside and downstairs, they listened to the tape. As always, it was another crazy bastard who was torturing women and children. Tokyo seemed to be full of them these days, God knew why. This jerk was the newest one to pop up. He had his own prostitution ring and everything. In short, another worthless criminal that needed to be disposed of fast. He was another beast that Weiss had to deny tomorrows of [2]. 'Aya' wanted to take this mission, mainly because of the children involved. 'Omi' wanted to take it because of the women. 'Yohji' wanted the money he'd get after the mission. And 'Ken' just wanted to get rid of him. Plain and simple.

Manx turned off the videotape and turned to all four men of Weiss. From the look on their faces, she knew they were ready to hunt this useless crook. Still, she wanted to be sure. She also noticed something different about them. She couldn't quite place it but something wasn't right.

"So are you all in?" Manx asked. The four of them nodded.

"Beautiful ladies in trouble...what do you think?" Omi asked with a sly grin on his face. "Maybe I'll end up scoring a date with a few while I'm at it."

Manx raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"So do you want me to get started on finding information on the computer, Manx-san?" Ken asked.

"Actually, I was hoping Omi would do it but...sure. Do as you wish, Ken."

"Huh?" Aya looked in Manx's direction. "Were you talking to me, Manx?"

"No, Aya. I was talking to Ken."

"So you were talking to me?"

"No!" Manx said exasperated. It surprised her that the redhead, who rarely spoke up, was asking such a silly question. He wasn't the only one acting strange though. There was something wrong with the whole picture. Omi normally didn't take missions cause of the women in trouble. Yohji did that. And Ken rarely asked if he could look up information on the computer. Then Aya was acting clueless suddenly. And Yohji...Yohji was just standing quietly by the wall, a scowl on his face. Manx figured that some girl rejected him last night and he wasn't in a good mood.

"So...Manx?" Omi murmured before she had the chance to escape. The way he said that scared her, especially when he didn't call her 'Manx-san' like usual. Instead, Ken had done that. "Now we got the important stuff out of the way...how about you and I take care of a few things?"

"Yohji-kun!" Ken exclaimed. "What are you doing?!"

"Absolutely nothing." Yohji glared in Ken's direction. "I'm *right* here."

"Ugh, you're making me look bad!" Omi groaned.

Manx felt a headache coming on. What was going on? Why did Ken call Omi 'Yohji-kun'? Why was Omi flirting with her? Why was Yohji acting like Aya?

*Tell me I stepped into the twilight zone by accident.* Manx prayed. But she had a feeling that all this was reality.

"I look fine!" Yohji snapped, crossing his arms. "There is nothing wrong with me!"

"Calm down." Aya said, picking up a soccer ball that was sitting by the couch. "You *do* look fine. But you're not..."

"Not what?" Manx asked, finally fed up with the confusion. "I want an explanation. What are you all doing?"

The four looked at each other, knowing that they were caught. They couldn't keep this problem from Kritiker forever. For all they knew, they could use the help. Manx waited patiently until Ken bravely stepped up and tried to explain the switch.

"I don't understand the dilemma myself, Manx-san. This will be hard for me to explain and much harder for you to believe."

"I've heard weird things before. Don't worry." Manx assured him.

The mission we went on last night...do you remember?"

"I do, Ken. It was a success. So what's wrong?"

"That's just it, Manx-san." Ken sighed. "I'm not really Ken-kun. I'm Omi in Ken-kun's body. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. We succeeded but were knocked out by that blast...and when I woke up, I was in Ken-kun's body."

Manx didn't want to believe it. But a lot of things Ken (or Omi) said made sense. It would explain why Yohji was looking pissed in one corner and why Omi was flirting with her. That would also explain why Aya was now playing around with the soccer ball. She didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure whose mind was in which body.

"So you are in Ken's body." She began. "Ken is in Aya's body. Aya is in Yohji's body. And Yohji is in your body?"

Ken (Omi) nodded. "That's right, Manx-san."

"It sounds farfetched to me, Omi."

"Farfetched?!" Omi (Yohji) exclaimed. "The hell do you mean it's farfetched, Manx?! Look at me! I'm in a seventeen-year old body, which lacks sex appeal! Look at my *legs*! My normal ones are strong and beautiful for any woman to admire! Omi's got stubby little legs! And no woman's gonna want to sit his lap! It's very..."

"Yohji-kun! That's my body and my legs and my lap that you're insulting!" Ken (Omi) whined.

"Do you know what we can do?" Yohji (Aya) asked. Manx shrugged.

"No idea. What do you think caused the switch?"

"Well, I believe", Ken (Omi) began, "that as we were running and we were thrown into air, the impact of our landings caused us to somehow switch minds with the person who was next to us. If I remember correctly, I was next to Ken-kun, Yohji-kun was on my other side, and Aya-kun was on Yohji's side. It kind of went around in a loop. My body carries Yohji-kun's mind, Yohji-kun's body has Aya-kun's mind, Aya-kun's body holds Ken-kun's mind, and I'm in in Ken-kun's body. We were knocked out in the whole process and when we awoke, we found ourselves in our present predicament."

"And you can't change back?" Despite all she heard, Manx still didn't believe what happened.

"We don't know how to, Manx-san. We could knock ourselves out but it may not make things better. Our minds could be switched again. We have to find another solution to this problem or we're doomed to stay like this forever.

Aya's (Ken's) face widened into a smile when he heard all that. "Wow! With all that explanation and stuff...I can't believe how smart I sound!"

"I believe you!" Manx said, after hearing Aya's normally emotionless voice get all happy. "I'll help and I'll get all four of you back to the way you were...somehow."

"But what about the mission?" 'Omi' asked.

"Go on it like usual. I can't do anything about that."

"What?! You mean I have to learn to throw the genki darts of doom?! [3]"

"If you insult me one more time…" 'Ken' began, his patience reaching the limit.

"We're all in." 'Yohji' said quickly before 'Ken' killed 'Omi'.

"But find a solution fast, Manx." 'Aya' begged. "I don't want to be like this forever."

"I know." Manx looked over to where 'Ken' pinched 'Omi' again, who was now howling in pain. Yes, they needed to be switched before they killed one another.

TBC…

[1] Oh, thank you, thank you, my dear Keeshe Kaldaka! I loved it when you said "If I go down, I'm taking with me!" on my review! I decided to use that part after all, hope you don't mind.

[2] Due to the school computers stupidity, I am unable to put the symbol at the end of Weiss like I normally do. I finished this chapter off here at school.

[3] LOL! I loved what you called 'Omi's' darts, Ayako. The genki darts of doom! He he he…worked out fine here! And yes, 'Omi' is stuck with throwing them in the next chapter.

* * *

(Woo, shorter than what I thought it would be. So now Aya knows what Ken did but he hasn't quite killed him yet. That part comes a little later, I promise. Next up is preparation for a mission! Will 'Yohji' be able to use wire without getting tied up in it himself? Will 'Aya' learn to shi-ne someone with a katana? Will 'Omi' complain about the 'genki darts of doom'? (more than likely) And will 'Ken' get used to bugnuks? Who knows? Find out in chapter…uh…7! (Geez, I can't even remember what chapter I'm on.)

R & R. No flames, criticism welcome. If notice me screwing up and confusing the hell out of you again, let me know.