Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Chapter 7: Ah! It's Raining Genki Darts of Doom! ( Chapter 7 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Switch

Chapter 7: Ah! It's Raining Genki Darts of Doom!

By Carter Tachikawa

Disclaimer: (opens letter) Dear Carter, you have constantly been bothering me about whether you can own Weiß Kruez and everything to do with it. Here is my response to you: get your own anime. Sincerely, Mr. Takehito. (blinks) WTF?! Well, there you have it! I still failed to own Weiß Kruez!

Summary: During a perilous mission, Weiß gets knocked out and awakens to find that they have switched bodies with one another! Now Aya's a soccer freak, Ken's a computer freak, Omi's a woman freak, and Yohji is...just plain freaky being all silent and stoic. Ah, the lovely insanity!

Pairings: Shounen-ai (Duh!) and it's...without a doubt...RANKEN! (Ran x Ken!) Need I digress? I didn't think so.

(Welcome back, welcome back! Well, Ranners knows about Kenken's big mistake! He'll make Ken pay for the car (and no, Ken won't die. I promise! I wouldn't want to disappoint all of Ken's fan girls ~_^.) At the same time, Omi knows Yohji was smoking in his body (He's still in the dark about the seven dates though^^.) and spent quite a long time abusing Yohji (or himself, depending on how you see it.) Manx comes to save them from killing each other (insert holy music here) and gives them a new mission. They also reveal to her what has happened. She doesn't believe them at first until she hears Aya get all happy. Now they have their first mission! Will they survive? Find out now!)

And since we'll have codenames now, I have to make another chart:

'Balinese' = 'Yohji' = the real Aya
'Bombay' = 'Omi' = the real Yohji
'Siberian' = 'Ken' = the real Omi
'Abyssinian' = 'Aya' = the real Ken

Does that make sense? Somehow, I don't think it does-_-0.

Thanks to reviewers once again: CherubKatan, asami (yup, Koyasu Takehito sounds amazing!), kamibukurosama (what mp3s do you have?), Keeshe Kaldaka (sorry you had to start over again. Good thing the scanner works.), fei, Taline, Neptican, F. Yuki (loved the picture of Ken you sent me and I promise one day to get your entire name down), Ryia Jen Rowen, White Rose, Ayako, obsessed fangirl (yes, I give you permission to write a Schwarz version) and lorien.

One more announcement...does anyone have the Gluhen opening or ending theme (or both)? If you do, email me so we can set up an exchange or something.

And now, to begin...

* * *

"I don't know." 'Bombay' was saying, eyeing "the genki darts of doom" as he had christened them. Night had fallen quickly and, with a few mishaps, no one else suspected anything wrong. Not even Sakura Tomoe when she came by later on in the afternoon. If anything, she was quite amazed at how much nicer 'Aya-san' was to her. 'Abyssinian' only hoped she wasn't getting any particular thoughts in her head involving her and his lover. The moment she left, the four of them got prepared for their mission. Now the time had finally arrived. It was only minutes before they attacked their targets at the given location, an abandoned warehouse in downtown Tokyo. Right now, all four were hiding in the dark, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. They were all dressed in the appropriate assassin gear and feeling very strange in them. But they managed to get everything right...well, almost everything. 'Abyssinian' did forget and did put on his goggles. Then seeing how weird his lover looked wearing them (and how badly they contrasted with the burgundy trench coat), he handed them over to 'Siberian' (or Bombay in Siberian's body). 'Bombay' complained about the suspenders after they got caught on the doorway *again* but was forced to wear them. 'Siberian' kept looking at his bugnuks and 'Abyssinian' kept praying that he didn't accidentally stab himself in the face with the claws. 'Balinese' was the only one who didn't complain or get nervous about using another person's weapon. But deep inside, they were sure he was as scared and worried as they were.

"What's the problem now, Bombay?" 'Siberian' asked, growing tired of all the whining. 'Bombay' didn't answer. He kept looking in disgust at the darts. 'Abyssinian' and 'Balinese' exchanged a look.

"Bombay?" 'Siberian' was getting impatient. 'Bombay' still did not answer. 'Abyssinian' realized what the problem was and whispered something in 'Siberian's' ear, who nodded. Then he turned to the now smaller -than -everyone assassin who had turned his back on them.

"Balinese! What's the problem?" 'Siberian' asked once again.

"Huh?" 'Balinese', who had not been paying attention to this conversation, finally perked up. So did 'Bombay'.

"Not you! I'm talking to the *other* Balinese."

"Oh." 'Balinese' tuned everything out. 'Bombay' turned around, an unhappy look on his handsome face. 'Siberian' and 'Abyssinian' were well aware what was going to happen next.

"It's these genki darts!" 'Bombay' complained, shoving them in 'Siberian's' face and almost poking his eyes out with them when he did that. "I can't throw them! I'm going to miss and probably pin myself to wall or something!"

"You have to!" 'Siberian' sighed. "I'm scared of using bugnuks myself but we have to deal with it."

"But Siberian..."

"What?" 'Abyssinian asked, wondering why 'Bombay' was complaining to him now. The others were confused once again until 'Siberian' sorted things out.

"You're not Siberian, *I* am. You're Abyssinian, remember? "

"Oh yeah." 'Abyssinian' blushed. Deciding to let 'Siberian' and 'Bombay' fight their battle by themselves, 'Abyssinian' turned to 'Balinese' who had given up on the other two a long time ago. In fact, he was growing impatient with them. They were on a mission and they were jeopardizing it with their constant bickering. He only hoped they would pipe down before the targets discovered them.

"What are we going to do with them?" 'Abyssinian' asked, looking at 'Bombay' and 'Siberian'. "I'm afraid they're going to be dead before targets are."

"Let them handle it by themselves." 'Balinese' said in a nonchalant way. "What really matters is getting this mission over with."

"I'm very scared about this." 'Abyssinian' grasped the katana by the handle and looked down at it. He had no practice with this weapon whatsoever and now he was expected to skewer someone with it. Oh sure, he wasn't scared of one-on-one combat but he didn't know how to use a katana. What if he ended up cutting off one of his own (or Abyssinian's) limbs by accident? It sounded crazy but it wasn't impossible. What would 'Balinese' (or Abyssinian) say if he saw himself with one arm gone? It was bad enough 'Abyssinian' (Siberian) had to pay for the Porsche. Destroying his lover's body would result in death for sure.

"You will do fine." 'Balinese' whispered, leaning over to give 'Abyssinian' a kiss. 'Abyssinian', still uncomfortable about having 'Balinese' kissing him, turned away. This upset 'Balinese' but he back away.

"I don't understand. Why won't you let me kiss you?" He asked.

"It doesn't feel right." 'Abyssinian' looked up, his violet eyes sad. "I told you that."

'Balinese' lowered his own jade eyes. "I always hated it when you looked at me in that way. But what makes this worse is the fact that you are looking at me with*my* eyes."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to be separated from you like these. Believe me." 'Abyssinian' said honestly, catching glimpse of himself in the dark window that they were standing in front of. He was the assassin Abyssinian all right. None of this was a dream. The only way he was sure it was him was the sad look on the normally cold Abyssinian. He hated to admit it but his lover looked almost childlike when he was sad and broken. So innocent, so gentle...quite an opposite of what he was now. Almost looking as gentle as the real Ken Hidaka. And a sad Aya Fujimiya was a more beautiful Aya Fujimiya.

"You do realize we may never be changed back." 'Balinese' said. He tried to sound like that didn't matter but 'Abyssinian' caught a hint of sorrow in his voice. Of course he didn't like the thought of being trapped in playboy Yohji Kudou's body. Sexy as that body may have appeared to women, he preferred his own.

"If that's the case, then I will have to get used to holding Yohji and kissing Yohji and making love to Yohji. But nobody said that we couldn't be changed back."

"For the last time, they are *not* genki darts of doom!"

The last exclamation from 'Siberian' made the other two forget about their conversation and turned to where their two partners were arguing. Finally fed up with their constant bickering, 'Abyssinian' spoke up.

"Look, we wasted ten minutes listening to you argue." He said, exasperated and turning towards the warehouse. "Are we going after the targets or not?"

"We're going, we're going." 'Siberian' promised, pulling them all together to lay down the plan. "Okay, listen up. 'Abyssinian' and 'Bombay' will attack from the front. 'Balinese' and I will attack from the back. I don't think they have tight security. I've checked the place out from top to bottom. They should be in there and I don't think there's anyone else with them. We'll meet back here. Understood?"

"Wow! I sound great when I go through plans!" 'Aya' was excited once again to hear how amazingly smart he was. 'Siberian' rolled his now chocolate-colored eyes, 'Omi' snickered, and 'Yohji' didn't say a word.

"Look, do you all understand what we're supposed to do?" 'Siberian' asked again.

They all nodded. It was show time.

"Good. Now let's do it."

'Bombay' went towards 'Siberian' while 'Balinese' joined 'Abyssinian'. Unfortunately, this made 'Siberian' upset.

"Hey! What did I just say?" He demanded, hands on his hips.

'Bombay' was confused. "What're you talking about? We're following your orders."

"No, you're not! You're not supposed to be with me!"

"But you said that Balinese should go with Siberian so here I am."

"What? No, I..."

"He's right. You said..." 'Abyssinian' began before 'Siberian' (technically himself) cut him off.

"Ah, you forgot we're switched!" 'Siberian' felt a headache coming on. Finally, he tried another tactic. "Okay, you *Balinese*", He pointed to 'Balinese', "Come with me, *Siberian*." He pointed to himself, and then turned to the other two. "You, *Bombay*", He pointed to 'Bombay', "Go with him, *Abyssinian*!" He pointed to 'Abyssinian'.

Finally, they understood.

"Geez, why didn't you say that in the first place?" 'Bombay' murmured, joining 'Abyssinian.'

"I did!" 'Siberian' wanted to cry.

"Let's just get this over with." 'Balinese' muttered, following 'Siberian' to the front of the building. 'Abyssinian' gave him a loving look that read "Good luck, love. Come back safely".

"Well, we're alone." 'Bombay' sighed as the two of them moved quietly and quickly towards the back of the building. 'Abyssinian' sighed and kept a good hold on the handle of his lover's katana. The moment of truth was here, whether or not he could use the katana. They kept moving quietly until they were at the backdoor of the warehouse.

"Ah, man, I hope we get this mission over with. I have a date in two hours." 'Bombay' said, finding out that the idiotic targets had left the backdoor unlocked and getting inside. Good thing it was dark cause 'Bombay' couldn't see the horror on 'Abyssinian's' face at that moment.

"A date? At eleven o'clock?" 'Abyssinian' asked.

"Yup. The chick really digs me." 'Bombay' made it sound like he'd won some competition or something.

"She does not dig you but the person whose body you're living in now." 'Abyssinian' explained. "What did you do to poor Omi? Turn him into a pimp?"

"Now, now, Kenken. I prefer 'popular' and 'suave' to 'pimp'."

"He'll kill you for this, you realize."

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"No, because *he* will hurt *you*. Remember him grabbing you?"

'Bombay' frowned. Oh, he remembered all right. 'Ken' had a very good grip on his skin and he could pinch! What made it even worse was that the real Ken probably hadn't cut his nails in three million years 'cause they cut into his skin! He didn't draw blood but the pain was there. But 'Omi' couldn't help himself. The girl was waiting for him and he intended to please her tonight.

*Her and every girl out there that I've made a date with.* He told himself. Screw what the real Omi would do to him. If he died tonight, he died having done something good for the chibi.

As they advanced closer, they could hear footsteps. Motioning 'Bombay' to stay quiet, 'Abyssinian' found a wall and hid behind it. 'Bombay' got in the same place and waited for the footsteps to away. Was it one of the targets?

"Asshole! Hope he dies!" A feminine voice exclaimed. Peering out a little, the two assassins saw a leggy, tall blonde storming down the hall. The clothes she was wearing, which was very little, suggested she must have been a prostitute or something hired by one of the targets. As they watched her walk away, 'Bombay' got a great idea.

"Should I?" He asked 'Abyssinian.'

'Abyssinian' looked doubtful. "While she was in here, she isn't one of our targets. We should just leave her alone, Bali…Bombay."

"No. Should I ask her out?" 'Bombay' peered down at the long legs of this woman. "Damn. Those legs go on forever!"

"Don't even think about it!" 'Abyssinian' snapped. "It's bad enough you have a date tonight and Omi doesn't know what you've done!"

"And a date tomorrow night and the night after and the…" 'Bombay' began murmuring.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

Meanwhile, in their own section of the warehouse, 'Siberian' and 'Balinese' also hadn't found the targets yet. They kept hiding in the shadows whenever they heard some noise. Now they were hiding behind a wall because they heard someone walking by. When the noise stopped, 'Siberian' spoke up.

"I'm worried, Aya-kun. What if something goes wrong?" He asked.

'Balinese' looked 'Siberian' and felt a little pity. His poor lover, with those soft brown eyes, getting all upset and worried that these would be his last hours on earth. Of course, they got scared on *any* mission but now his Ken…his poor, sweet Ken…needed some love.

Forgetting that this wasn't the real Ken, 'Balinese' pulled 'Siberian' close and hugged him tightly.

"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. I'm here." He whispered in his lover's ear. At times like this, Ken needed some comfort and encouragement.

'Siberian' was confused. "Uh…Aya-kun? What are you doing?"

'Balinese' let him go immediately. "Oh…Omi! I…I thought you were…"

"Ken-kun? It's okay. But remember…just because I look like him, doesn't mean you can hug me like that."

"Sorry." 'Balinese' said, not sounding sorry at all. Accepting the apology, 'Siberian' recounted his anxiety and worries again.

"I'm scared, Aya-kun. Aren't you worried about using wire?"

"I'll manage. You should too."

Finally they came to an empty room with nothing but hot overhead lights, ugly green painted walls, an equally ugly green ceiling, a table, and four empty chairs. This must have been where the targets made their plans. There were also boxes littered in corners, big enough to hide them. This was where 'Balinese' and 'Siberian' decided to stay for the time being.

Few minutes later, 'Abyssinian' and 'Bombay' made their way into room and found a place to hide. According to what Kritiker had told them all, the targets usually met in this room to discuss what they would do next. And it was usually around this time too. Of course, they didn't doubt Kritiker one bit. The targets, four large men in business suits and shapeless in figure, made their way to the table. They chattered and discussed, their voices pretty much melding together as one. 'Abyssinian' got a good look at the area and finally caught 'Balinese's' glare. It was time.

The next couple of minutes would be result in one of the most interesting mission's the four men of Weiss ever went on. The lights went out and they all made their appearance the moment they came back on. The targets, knocking down their chairs, stood up and faced the four assassins dressed in black. Show time.

"Who are you?!" One of the targets demanded.

'Abyssinian' unsheathed his katana, getting as cold and angry as his lover was. "Weiss!" (Once again, I can't do the symbol 'because I'm at school ~_~.)

"Weiss?" Another one sneered.

"That's our name, don't wear it out." 'Balinese' said, trying to be as cool as the real Balinese and causing 'Bombay' to groan for the thirtieth time that night.

"Cute." The third one snarled, facing off against 'Siberian'. "I think I'll take care of you first, kid."

The fourth one said nothing but faced off against 'Abyssinian', who gulped. Now all that confidence he once had drained away from his body. 'Balinese' disappeared somewhere while 'Bombay' chose to take out the first target. And the fighting began. 'Siberian' managed to pull those claws out but using them ended up being another problem. He kept getting knocked down and hit by his target. 'Bombay' saw this and tried to help out.

"I got your back, Siberian!" 'Bombay' yelled, throwing a dart. Unfortunately, this didn't get the target but 'Siberian' instead. It got caught on the orange sweater he wore around his waist and stuck him to the wall.

"What are you doing?! You pinned me to the wall, Bombay!" 'Siberian' exclaimed, yanking that dart out of his orange sweater and tossing it aside. 'Bombay' swore and threw another dart. This one missed the target completely, making the bad guy laugh instead of cower in fear.

"You call yourself an assassin?" The target sneered. "You couldn't hit a squirrel if it was staring at you in the face, you stubby legged bastard!"

Unfortunately, that remark infuriated 'Bombay' and suddenly gave him more confidence to use these new weapons.

"Eat genki darts of doom, asshole!" 'Bombay' snarled, throwing a handful of darts at one of the targets. Two pinned the guy to the wall, one hit him in the stomach, one hit him in the arm, and one just aimlessly flew and landed on the ground without hitting anything. The target howled in pain and then the howling stopped when 'Bombay' quickly pulled out his crossbow and, just as the target was freeing himself, he said a prayer and pulled the trigger. The arrow hit him in the forehead, killing him instantly. 'Bombay' was amazed.

"I did it." He whispered, looking at the darts. He had killed someone without pinning himself or his teammates to wall. It was a change from his wire but he had done it.

"Shi-ne." 'Balinese' whispered, jumping down below, wrapping the wire around another target's neck, and strangling him. The man choked until he didn't make anymore sounds. Finally, 'Balinese' stopped and let the body drop to the ground. It fell with a dull thud, wire still wrapped around the target's neck.

Meanwhile, 'Siberian' and 'Abyssinian' didn't have the same luck that the other two assassins had. Considering that 'Siberian' rarely did any one-on-one combat fighting with the targets, this was a whole new thing for him. The target was stronger and fought hard. 'Abyssinian' was also having trouble. A katana was nothing like bugnuks. The targets seemed to be confused as well. What were these idiots doing?

"Ah, this isn't working!" 'Siberian' exclaimed as another one lunged towards him. 'Abyssinian', while a little bit more successful, still had trouble fighting with the katana. He kept swinging it wildly. Ultimately, 'Balinese' came to his rescue by wrapping the wire around the target and causing the big guy to fall.

"Get him now!" He barked. Nodding, 'Abyssinian' let out a cry and bought that katana straight through the man's chest. The target screamed minutes before the blade came down and stopped when it did. Blood poured out, suggesting to them that their target was dead.

"You're not taking me down!" The last target exclaimed, still fighting against poor 'Siberian'. Finally, making a wish and closing his eyes, 'Siberian' lunged forward with one claw and shoved it into the target's chest. He gasped before he dropped to the ground, dead. Letting out a sigh of relief, 'Siberian' leaned against the wall.

"That's it, right?" He asked.

"It should be." 'Bombay' said, looking around the place. Yes, there were four dead bodies on the ground. "I can't believe I actually managed to use a genki dart of doom."

'Siberian' was going to complain but chose not to. He was too tired. 'Abyssinian' stared down at the target he had just skewered two minutes ago. Yup, that guy was very much dead.

"We did it." He whispered. "We survived."

"More importantly, the targets are dead." 'Balinese' said.

"Good! We can go home now!" 'Bombay' exclaimed. He was partially happy because of being able to use Omi's weapons but he was more excited because in two hours, he would be on the first of his seven dates. A girl from Omi's class said she would be happy to meet him.

"We're alive." 'Abyssinian' kept muttering as they left the scene like always, no evidence except for the dead bodies. They survived the mission.

Unfortunately, there was also the chance that they would not be quite as lucky the next time. There would always be that chance.


* * *

'Omi' made sure he had everything ready: a table with a velvet red tablecloth, two lit candles, orange soda (hey, he was seventeen!) in wine glasses, and bunch of French bread in a basket. The butter was sitting in the middle of the basket. His bed was still made but he didn't think it would be that way for long. He'd told her to come through the window for fear of waking 'Aya', 'Yohji', and 'Ken'. She was surprised but didn't mind. In fact, she told him she was happy to spend time with him tonight. Flipping on the stereo, he began playing some soft, romantic music.

*Baby, Omi Tsukiyono is going to knock you out of your pretty heels.* 'Omi' thought with a chuckle. In a few minutes, his date would be here. He'd turn on the good old Tsukiyono charm (technically good old Kudou charm) and she would be his. 'Omi' would be more popular than any kid in his class and it would thanks to him. It kind of made 'Yohji' wish he was seventeen again.

*Being in the chibi's body isn't all THAT bad.* He said to himself, splashing cologne on himself and putting mousse in his shorter blond hair. He had actually stolen these from his *real* room because he doubted that 'Yohji', the ice sculpture, would be using it.

There was a soft rap on the window. 'Omi' turned around to find the pretty girl, her name was Hitomi, outside. She waved at him so, with a dashing smile, he walked over and opened the window. She had a lot of books in her hands, he couldn't understand why. Helping her in, he led her towards the table.

"I hope you enjoy what I have planned for us." He said with a grin. Hitomi, however, looked confused rather than pleased. He pulled up a chair and she sat down in it, feeling a little strange. He then sat down in the seat across from her and threw her one of Omi's winning smiles. Poor Hitomi was lost still.

"Tsukiyono-kun? What is all this?" She asked.

"I told you. I want to make you as comfortable as possible."

"You go a long way for a study date, Tsukiyono-kun."

'Omi' froze with horror. "Study date?"

"Yes, Tsukiyono-kun. We have that exam tomorrow, remember?"

"Exam?" The real Omi didn't tell him anything about an exam! What did this mean, that *he* had to take the exam instead of the real Omi?

"Yes. That's why I'm here, isn't it? That exam is going to be hard, I heard. I'm so glad you asked me to study with you! Knowing how smart you are, I'm sure to ace that test tomorrow!"

'Omi', with his dreams of romance and charming Hitomi thrown out of that open window, slid off his chair and landed squarely on his ass.

* * *

*stares blankly* Ah, I am really bad at action sequences! Don't worry, guys! I'll make it much better on their next mission.

Ah, this ends another chapter! Oh my God, this chapter was so freaking long! I feel much better now, the last couple of days left me sour and pissed off. Not at you guys, of course! Just other things. God, I don't know how much longer this story will be! Maybe 12 chapters....ah, but I have lots and lots of ideas. I decided to bring Sakura in after all. Mission was confusing, no? I figured it was.

Hopefully, my other stories won't be as long as this story has been. Chapters may be longer and take a while to update but it'll be worthwhile. So review, review, review! Whoever reviews gets a videotape taken by Schuldig of the boys in one another's bodies! It includes this deleted scene…

DELETED SCENE (The real Omi's bedroom where 'Omi' (Yohji)…and someone else…is sleeping)

'Omi' (murmuring): Oh baby…oh yeah…give it to me…

Woman under covers (giggles): Oh, Omi-kun!

'Omi': I told you there's more to me that stubby legs and girlish looks!

(A horrified Omi and Nagi are watching this.)

Nagi: Omi! Why?! After all we…

Omi (covers Nagi's mouth): Shush! That's not me in there…but I know who is. (Turns to author) Carter, stop the tape and explain to Nagi that I wasn't sleeping with anyone last night. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I'm taking my 'genki darts of doom' to go kill Yohji.

Me: ??? Sure.

Nagi: *traumatized for life*