Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ The Rain Doesn't Grieve ❯ 12 ( Chapter 12 )

12

 

kasuka ni hohoemu kuchimoto ga itooshiku hakanakute
dare ni mo kimi o watasanai

 

Yohji ~ Redemption

 

By the time Schuldig and I made it up the stairs and onto the sidewalk (it felt like it took hours), we were clinging to each other and laughing like old friends. Or old enemies, which was probably just as good.

 

I draped my arm over his shoulders, noticing for the first time that he was actually a few inches shorter than me. I addressed the side of his head and half-shouted, “Hey, there's a park not far from here. We could hang out and talk some more. I don't think I could make it home.”

 

“I thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore,” Schuldig said, regarding me with mirth in his eyes. “You know, mortal enemies?”

 

We both struggled to refrain from laughing out loud, but it was to no avail. I clung to him, he clung to me, and we laughed like total fools. “Oh, yeah, right,” I sputtered, then cleared my throat and addressed him with mock severity. “Can you fight, Schwarz?”

 

Schuldig's reply came out on a gust of laughter, his eyes starting to tear up. “Not at the moment!”

 

“Me neither,” I gasped. “Maybe if we sober up some, we can pick up where we left off.”

 

The red-head looked around, his legs braced as though the ground were moving. “Where's that park?”

 

I grabbed his arm and made a straight course down the sidewalk. Apparently Schuldig did not approve of this, as he kept yanking me toward the hedges and bitched, “Damn, Kudou, how much did you have before I showed up?”

 

“Not enough,” I whispered, catching sight of my ghostly tagalong out of the corner of my eye.

 

As always at this hour, the park was empty. We fell more than sat, both of us breathing hard, probably from all that pushing and shoving. Poor bastard, couldn't even walk a straight line. But at least he wasn't haunted.

 

“So, Schuldig,” I began, then got distracted.

 

“Yeah?” he replied a few beats late.

 

I tried to recall my train of thought, then found it and asked him, “What now?”

 

He gazed up at the sky as though this was the most serious thing he'd ever been asked in his life. He frowned a little, his features shifting from pretty to handsome with the change in expression. I stared at his lips as he replied, “I don't know. We're kind of on our own, now. Nowhere to go back to.”

 

Something had been bugging me. Now I remembered: the weird kid on their team. He'd seemed too young to be caught up in this kind of work, younger than Omi. Then again, Omi had been too damn young when placed with Weiß at the start. That whole thing bothered me. I didn't know why I cared, but I asked anyway. “That little kid all right?”

 

He blinked, then blurted, “You mean Nagi?” Schuldig looked away, seemed to be considering his answer. “Yeah, well he'll be all right, anyway.”

 

My mind was beginning to wake up in spite of the booze. Curiosity prompted me to ask him, “So what was that he was hitting Omi with?”

 

Schuldig seemed to pale a little and he regarded me with renewed suspicion. “I don't think I want to give you that information.”

 

Again, his lips didn't seem to move. So maybe my mind wasn't as awake as I'd thought. I waved that topic off and said, “Never mind, that was a dumb question. If I were you, I wouldn't want me knowing either. Better question: are we staying here all night?”

 

He relaxed and laughed a little, looking around at the empty park. “Until you asked, I really hadn't thought about it.” Then his expression turned almost bleak and he whispered, “I don't really have anywhere else to be.”

 

Schuldig's mood had fallen from a drunken high to a deep, deep low. Mine fell with it. I sighed and leaned back against the bench. My words came out as a whisper. “Man, I hate how things can change so fast, you know?” I looked down at my hands. “We were good, the best. And now we're nothing.”

 

He looked at me with pain in his own eyes and asked, “What happened, Yohji? I can tell you're hurting.”

 

I took my time coming up with an answer to that, covering my inner debate with a cigarette. Only after a deep drag did I answer him. “Weiß is disbanded. I don't know if they're replacing us with other operatives, and I don't care. I get the feeling it doesn't matter if I tell you a damn thing, either. Does it.”

 

Barely within my side vision, I watched as his head bowed a moment, then he pulled a cigarette from his pack and gave it a dirty look. Must be his last, I realized. Schuldig lit his smoke and shook his head. “No, it doesn't. We're kind of between jobs ourselves. Actually, forcibly retired is more accurate.”

 

Now, this was unexpected. It was the way he'd said it more than the words themselves; clearly, Kritiker had not told us everything about Schwarz and Esset, if they had even known. It was obvious to me that things had not been as they had seemed. “Funny,” I commented, “I'd have thought you guys staged a walkout.”

 

“Yeah, well, same result, really. Can't go back, even if we wanted to.” He looked at me, and I saw a tentative trust in his eyes. Trust, and a hell of a lot of pain.

 

I tried to lighten the mood a little. Why waste a good drunk on being maudlin? I wanted to ask how the pay was, but I started coughing again, laughing at my own discomfort in little gasping barks. Finally the fit passed. “So,” I gasped out, “was the pay any good?”

 

This seemed to take him by surprise. Schuldig snorted a laugh and said, “Not really. The perks were nice.”

 

Once again, curiosity prompted my words and I said, “I can't believe you guys worked for Takatori. Was he just a cover, or what?”

 

I realized this was a bad thing to ask him about, as he glowered at his cigarette and muttered, “Does it matter? That bastard died for his crimes, let it alone.”

 

“Sorry, force of habit,” I told him. “You know, I used to be a detective.”

 

Schuldig gave me a curious look. “I didn't know that. Were you any good?”

 

I shook my head. “I kind of sucked, actually. Well, I was good at the actual work, but I sucked at finding the jobs, how about that. Not a useful combination when you like to eat real food regularly, if you know what I mean.”

 

I realized that this topic, too, invited disaster, and I hoped we could both just drop it there. As much as his past brought him pain, so did mine. Strange, how we could be so similar, and yet serve on opposite sides. Something about him intrigued me, now that I was getting to see the person and not the operative.

 

Nature called, and, there being no restrooms nearby, I improvised. I figured Schuldig would run interference if anyone wandered by while I was making good behind a tree.

 

As I returned to the bench, Schuldig was leaning back and staring at the sky. The long, pale stretch of his throat lay bared to the night, his fiery hair hanging free over the back of the bench. Former enemy or not, the man was beautiful.

 

I sat beside him, close enough to feel the heat of his flesh through the confining leathers. It had been a long time since I'd had such a sense of connection with another person. I found myself thinking things that surprised me. “So,” I asked, “are you staying around here?”

 

He laughed, his teeth white and flawless. “Kudou Yohji, did you just lay a line on me?”

 

I chuckled and leaned a little closer, suddenly not at all sure of my own intentions. “No, Schuldig, if I was going to lay a line on you it'd be something more like: Do you come here often?”

 

“Okay, okay. You know I'm within walking distance of the bar,” he murmured. “How about you?”

 

“Likewise. It's a fair walk, but not a bad one. Tough when I'm in bad shape, like tonight, but that's why this park is here.”

 

He tossed his hair back and said, “This park is here just so you can stagger your drunken ass on in and sober up on the bench?”

 

I grinned at him. “Damn right. It's all just for me, baby.”

 

Schuldig laughed, a warm and comfortable sound that seemed to wrap itself around my long-chilled soul. “I like you. I have the feeling that you and I have a lot in common, Kudou Yohji.” His pale spice eyelashes fluttered down, half obscuring the fascinating turquoise beneath.

 

“You think so, do you?” I murmured, leaning closer still. I could smell the lavender in his hair and the spicy masculine scent of his skin. My lips were close enough to his to kiss.

 

But only his breath caressed them as he whispered, “Yeah. A lot.”

 

Too close, too close! My inner alarm shrieked in panic; what was I trying to do? This was not the time or place to be making promises that I could never keep, no matter how badly we both wanted it. Besides, we were both too drunk for a simple tumble, and I suspected that any intimate contact with this man would prove too addicting for me to handle. I kept my expression warm as I withdrew with a casual stretch and tried to figure out what the hell to do next.

 

Good thing I'd backed off; Schuldig seemed just as startled as I was. He patted his pockets in search of his smokes, then pulled out the pack and shook it before growling, “Damn it.”

 

I pulled out my own pack and took two cigarettes from it with practiced nonchalance. As I held them between my lips and touched fire to them, I realized just how much I had actually wanted to kiss this man just now. His reaction had put me off a little, but he seemed as agitated as I was. I glanced down; black leather betrayed him. I smiled a little to myself and offered him one of the cigarettes.

 

He reached for it, but I smirked and shook my head. “Not like that,” I told him. His hand dropped to his side and his mouth hung slightly open as though about to ask a question. I leaned forward and with slow precision slid the filter between his parted lips. “Like this.”

 

I studied him as he smoked, his eyes no longer misted with alcohol but distinctly foggy nonetheless. When had I started considering this? My mind flashed back to all our previous encounters, most of which had seen us fighting. He had never tried to kill me, or any of my team, I realized. Schuldig had never been my enemy. And now this gorgeous, exotic man was seated within touching distance, watching me through bedroom eyes even as I watched him with what was probably undisguised desire in my own.

 

Damn, how I wanted to invite him to come home with me! It had been so long since anyone had shared time with me like this, I didn't want to see it end.

 

As though he heard my thoughts, Schuldig glanced toward the eastern horizon, then shut his eyes.

 

I couldn't resist touching that smooth skin, that elegant face. I caressed his cheek and whispered, “Rain check, then?”

 

At his nod, I dug in my pockets for some paper. A battered little matchbook was all I found. Hastily I wrote down my address on it, then pressed it into his hand. “Here, I know it's a little trite, but it's all I had to write on.”

 

His smile was radiant as he thanked me.

 

I returned his smile and said, “I have the feeling you'll find me again.”

 

“I have the feeling you're right.”

 

Schuldig seemed to glow against the darkness of false dawn, and I stared after him as he walked away. Part of my mind wanted to follow, to see where he went, but I had two good reasons not to. One, he might see that as a betrayal of our fragile trust. And two, I had to muster all my strength to get my ass back home. My head was pounding. If I didn't make good speed before sunup, the brilliant light of morning would drive a spike through my pathetic brain.

 

“Get up, Kudou,” I growled at myself. “You've made it home from worse gigs than this.” Not waiting for a reply, I shoved away from the bench and began my journey along well-worn paths.

 

Maybe tonight I'd think about this meeting, but for now, all I wanted was my home and my bed. Too bad that I'd find both empty. I imagined fiery red hair splayed across my pillow and grinned. Definitely have to lay off the booze before that could ever happen.

 

I paused as I realized that the prospect really intrigued me, enough to break through my growing habit. “If it's to be, it's to be,” I whispered to the morning. “I won't let drink stand in its way. I can handle a little sobriety.”

 

With new resolve firmly in my heart, I found my way home for some long overdue sleep - sleep without dreams.