Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ You're Joking, Right? ❯ Chapter 20

Yoji hadn't gotten much sleep. There had been nightmares like he hadn't had since right after Asuka was killed. And then there was Aya. Normally, Aya stayed way on the other side of the bed, immobile and silent - even through most of his own nightmares. Not last night. He'd called out for someone named Brad, he'd moaned in pain, and he'd clung to Yoji like a lifeline. And he'd cried.

 

On the other hand, Aya was still alive. He didn't have a fever, either. Looked like the doctor had done good work, rest his soul. And Aya was one tough bastard, too.

 

Being jolted awake every few minutes had given Yoji a lot of time to think. And the main point he'd come up with - other than that Aya had fucking thanked Ken but hadn't thanked him, the ungrateful son of a bitch - was that if he just went back to the flower shop this morning and pretended yesterday hadn't happened, he'd get away with it. Clean as a whistle. He'd also never see Aya again.

 

Because Aya wouldn't lay low for a couple of days and try to bluff his way back in. He wouldn't try to cut a deal with someone who wasn't Omi at Kritiker, either, whoever that might be. He'd just be gone, and maybe he'd get away, or maybe he'd get killed. And Yoji would never know. Aya would just be gone.

 

Yoji knew what he should do. He should extricate himself from this mess while he still could. That would be the best way to keep Ken out of it, too. And it was what Aya wanted. Whether that was because Aya actually had reason to think he'd make it, or because he just wanted to go out fighting, or even, possibly, because it was they only thing he could do for Yoji at this point - Yoji had no idea. Probably all three, and likely in equal measure, but Aya wouldn't tell, even if he knew. So Yoji's path was clear. There wasn't a single argument to make against getting up, taking a shower, putting on whatever God-forsaken jock clothes Ken had brought him, and heading home, such as it was.

 

But Yoji had spent the last hour lying on this hard-as-a-rock, cheap-ass futon, staring at the bit of Aya's face he could see, running his fingers through that beautiful, utterly improbable hair, and he couldn't fucking do it. Not for himself, not for Ken, and not for Aya. Yoji had understood Aya when he said he'd rather die than deal with Omi. It had been nothing but a succinct statement of fact, and a position Yoji probably agreed with. And if Yoji hung around, there wouldn't be anything else Aya could do. Yoji needed to let him go.

 

Aya stirred, grunting in pain. Yoji had no idea if it was OK to give him the drugs this morning or not; he should have asked the doctor. Oh, well; too late now. "Good morning, sunshine," Yoji said softly.

 

Aya looked up, narrowing his eyes, and he carefully rolled off Yoji. He lay next to him, staring at the ceiling, concentrating on keeping his breathing even - Yoji knew. He idly brushed Aya's bangs out of his face. "Looking good." God damn, but Aya looked pissy. You wouldn't think he could manage that level of poisonous anger, under the circumstances, but Aya always went the extra mile. Yoji decided to chance the drugs. He reached for the bottle, shook out a couple of pills, and handed them over.

 

Aya glared at them before popping them into his mouth and dry swallowing. Maybe Aya had some idea if they were safe to take or not. Yoji sat up and grabbed the bottle of water he'd left next to the pills. "Fluids," he said, helping Aya sit up enough to drink. Yoji could see how much the movement hurt.

 

"I don't need your help," Aya snapped.

 

"The hell you don't," Yoji commented. He was feeling pretty spiteful himself. Aya's eyes narrowed, and Yoji interrupted the impending torrent of abuse. "What's the deal with Oracle, Aya?"

 

"It doesn't matter." Aya looked sullen and pouty, and much as Yoji savored the direct hit, he couldn't help feeling sorry for him.

 

"It fucking well does matter. He threatened me. How do I know he isn't going to come after me? Or set me up?"

 

Aya looked exceedingly put out. "If he had been planning to kill you, he would have done it last night. And he won't set you up - he has more to lose than what he'd gain." Aya managed to look even angrier, which hardly seemed possible. "And he never does anything just for the momentary pleasure of it."

 

"Who is he to you, Aya?"

 

"Just get out of here and go home, Yoji."

 

"I did what you needed me to do yesterday, Aya. I did the job. I got all the files. And I saved you God-damned life. You fucking owe me.

 

Aya opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. Perhaps he saw Yoji's point. Time passed as Aya lay there, looking angry and miserable, his long, thin fingers playing with the sheet. Finally he answered. "He's the man who's going to save the world."

 

Yoji stared in amazement. "Aya. You don't actually believe that, do you?"

 

"Yeah, Yoji. I believe it. I bet my life on it." Aya's voice sounded thin, as if he didn't have the breath to support it. "Help me up. I need to take a piss."

 

Whether that was an admission or one of Aya's little koans, Yoji chose to let it go. For the moment. He got to his knees and helped Aya up, slowly, carefully, and without comment. He helped him up and held him steady when he swayed and nearly fell, dizzy from drugs and blood loss. He tried to help him walk the few steps to the bathroom, but Aya shook him off angrily and went alone. Yoji stared at the door.

 

When Aya emerged, he looked even paler and less steady. Yoji went to him, and this time, Aya leaned against him without protest. Yoji could feel the trembling and tried to take more of Aya's weight as he walked him back to the futon. Aya lay down and closed his eyes, drops of sweat on his forehead.

 

"There's a trash can by the bed if you're going to throw up."

 

Aya's brow furrowed, but he didn't say anything. He was breathing hard through his open mouth.

 

Sighing, Yoji lay down next to him, smoothing his hair off his face. "Tell me about Oracle, baby." Drawing a fairly short, straight line between two points, he added, "Tell me about Brad."

 

Aya's eyes opened, staring at Yoji in horror. Yeah - now was a good time to push with the questions. Aya was about as off his game as he was likely to get. "Now, Aya."

 

Too worn out to manage even a weak glare, Aya just lay there. He looked so lost Yoji almost felt guilty. Not that Yoji exactly remembered what guilty felt like.

 

"I told you what you need to know. It's better if you don't know anything else."

 

"Yeah. Very dramatic. I don't care what's better for me, though. I want to know."

 

After a long pause, Aya closed his eyes again. "No." He whispered it, and Yoji heard surrender.

 

"Start with Brad."

 

"Someone from my past. He doesn't exist any more."

 

"What the hell are you talking about?"

 

The eyes opened again, and Aya met Yoji's stare. "He was somebody who loved me. Like you do."

 

"He loved you, and then he turned into Oracle?"

 

"He was always Oracle. I just didn't understand what that meant until it was too late."

 

"I'm not like that, baby."

 

"No. You're a little different."

 

A little. Bastard. "He meant what he said last night. He cut you loose."

 

"Yeah." Aya's voice sounded a little shaky. "No good deed goes unpunished," he muttered.

 

"And what the fuck does that mean?"

 

"Nothing, Yoji. It doesn't mean anything. He's done with me. He got what he needed, and now I'm just a liability. I'm surprised he didn't kill me, actually. He doesn't usually leave loose ends. I guess he was feeling sentimental."

 

"Why don't you think he'll kill me, then? You meant something to him. I'm nothing."

 

"He honors his word, when it's convenient. You aren't a threat. You can't tell Kritiker what you know, and you don't know who else to tell." Aya swallowed. "You'll be seeing him again, Yoji. Pretend you don't know anything about him. He's not someone you can fuck with."

 

Yoji nodded slowly. "OK. So when you said you still had some cards to play, you didn't mean him."

 

"No."

 

"Cut it the fuck out. Talk to me."

 

"I have other contacts. Not as powerful, but I might be able to put something together. Depends on how fast I can get moving."

 

"Other contacts? Like your boyfriend? Your other boyfriend, I mean?" Amazing, with all this drama, that Yoji could still sustain the jealousy.

 

"Maybe. I don't know. He's a mercenary, and he works for Oracle."

 

"Jesus Christ, Aya. He's your boyfriend."

 

"You call him my boyfriend. I'm sure that's not the way he thinks of it."

 

Yoji shook his head. Aya's taste in men was abysmal, right down the line.

 

"He's an honorable man, Yoji. But his - parameters - aren't the same as most people's."

 

"Right. So his sense of honor won't allow him to help you either."

 

"I doubt it."

 

Yoji wanted to hit something. Someone. Aya, maybe, although he wouldn't do it. "So your plan is for me to leave you alone when you can't even walk across the room, and you'll try to get hold of some, what, business connections? To get you out of the country? Or were you actually going to talk to Kritiker?"

 

Aya set his mouth stubbornly, then decided to answer the question anyway. "Kritiker would be a last resort."

 

"I'll run with you. You need help, and I don't have any reason to stay."

 

"No." Aya almost shouted it. "God, Yoji, what else do I have to do? I'm not risking you like that."

 

"What do you mean, what else do you have to do?"

 

Aya looked away, resolutely, this time.

 

Yoji grabbed Aya's face, fingers digging cruelly into the pale, pale skin, and forced Aya to look at him.

 

"Tell me what you meant."

 

Aya just looked at him, fierce eyes set in a death mask. Then, the light went out. "You aren't going to leave me, are you?" His voice was sad and broken.

 

"Son of a bitch, what is wrong with you? I saved your fucking life! I was there for you! Don't I mean anything to you?"

 

Aya just stared. He looked like he was about at the end of his rope. Which was good, because Yoji was just about at the end of his. He went for the kill. "If you loved me, you'd take me with you."

 

"If I loved you, I'd save your life." Aya's voice was so quiet Yoji could barely hear him.

 

"Aya, I'm not giving you up."

 

Aya nodded slowly. "OK. You win."

 

Yoji seriously doubted that. "You mean you're not going to fight me on this anymore?"

 

"No." Aya took Yoji's arm and rotated it so he could see his watch. "It's just 6:30. Let me sleep a while longer, OK? We still have a few hours before we have to do anything."

 

Aya looked even more tired than he had last night. Yoji felt bad for him, but mostly he felt relieved. It had to be better this way. He loved Aya, and he'd take care of him. Yoji settled down next to him and fell asleep almost immediately.

 

****

 

Aya lay still. He needed to be alone right now, but he'd have to settle for getting Yoji to stop looking at him. Which turned out to be pretty easy, once he stopped fighting. That usually did the trick, although he seldom resorted to it.

 

Aya shifted Yoji's arm, which was draped across his ribs and made him feel like he couldn't breathe. Or maybe that was just life.

 

He hurt. It was hard to pull it into sharper focus than that. Everything hurt. Every breath was painful, and sitting up was agony. The pills probably hadn't fully kicked in yet, but they weren't going to be as good as the morphine, and that hadn't been enough. But the physical pain was never as bad as the grief. He kept thinking he'd die of it, eventually, but there was always more, and he kept going.

 

Brad had let him go. Aya had known he would. He'd still hoped, though. Last night, when he'd opened his eyes and seen Brad, he'd thought the bastard had changed his mind. It was just for a second, but the damage was done. God damn it, why hadn't Yoji left him?

 

He'd been afraid of it, before, but right now, bleeding to death on the floor of that office looked pretty good. Fucking Yoji. It hadn't occurred to Aya that he'd be so God-damned stupid.

 

Son of bitch, he was crying again. That hurt, too.

 

Yoji kept saying he loved him. He probably believed it. That didn't matter, though - it was only a problem if he loved Yoji.

 

It must have been an amazing piece of work, getting him out of that compound. Aya couldn't bring himself to thank Yoji, but he had to admit he had balls.

 

But they should be even now, shouldn't they? Why should Aya have to save him again? He was too weak to make Yoji leave; and if Yoji stayed, he couldn't run. He didn't even have a 50-50 chance - in fact, he'd be pretty fucking happy with a 50-50 chance. His own life wasn't worth much to him if he couldn't get away from Kritiker, but he couldn't gamble with Yoji like that.

 

He was out of options. He had to go back.

 

And despite what he'd told Yoji, Omi was probably his best alternative. Manx might help him, but she was at least as likely to set him up. The old man would just as soon spit on him as say his name. Without his backer, Aya had no illusions about his importance to Kritiker. Omi, though… Omi had a weak spot. Omi was supposed to be taking over the organization in a few years, and it wouldn't look good if he couldn't even keep track of his own team. He'd get some props for turning Aya in, but it would damage his reputation more than anything else.

 

Yeah. Omi would figure that out on his own. Aya would start with that; maybe he could still limit the damage. Not that Omi would be stupid enough to take Aya back without any conditions. Omi didn't trust him anyway, and now that he'd been proven right, he'd be an idiot not to apply some leverage. He'd want to rein him in. And all Aya had to barter was his freedom - such as it was. It would have been funny, if it weren't so fucking pathetic.

 

Aya needed to sleep. He couldn't trust his decisions right now, and he didn't have much longer to come up with an answer - assuming there was an answer to find. He switched his focus to Yoji, lying warm and solid against his back. Yoji's hand splayed across his stomach, supporting him, even as he slept. Aya relaxed into him. He stopped fighting the current of sleep and let it pull him under.

 

****

 

It had been a long time since Aya had dreamed about his father. He didn't miss him the way he missed his mother and sister. His father hadn't been around a lot, hadn't figured much in his daily life. That longing had been easier to bury, especially after he'd found out who his father was - a man who'd brought two children into the world in order to destroy it. A fanatic who'd bred a son and daughter to help Eszett summon their demon. That was the blood in Aya's veins.

 

He'd been drowning, ready to breathe the last of the air out of his lungs and inhale the cold, dark water. Then a hand had appeared, and he'd grabbed at it, let it pull him, shivering and freezing, back into the daylight. He lay on a gray stone beach, coughing and freezing, looking into the eerie tranquility of his father's dead face.

 

"You aren't needed here. You should go." The voice was vaguely kind, distant. His father's voice. He couldn't remember it when he was awake.

 

"I can't go anywhere." He couldn't move, and there was nowhere for him to go.

 

"You should go. We don't need you. They don't need you. There's nothing for you here."

 

If Ran had been good enough, they wouldn't have needed his sister. Revenge was pointless, and he couldn't protect the world from what his father did. "I know."

 

"You should go." And with that, his father disappeared, leaving him alone again.

 

His throat burned and he couldn't get his breath. He gasped as he woke up, following the trail of Yoji's voice.

 

"— a nightmare. Wake up, baby. I've got you."

 

Aya stared into Yoji's eyes as he got his bearings. So green, green like spring. Green and bloodshot. Like cherry trees in spring.

 

"You with me, baby?"

 

Aya nodded. Fuck.

 

"That must have been a good one."

 

He'd had worse. And at least he knew what to do now. "What time is it?" Yoji was giving him a look. Well, whatever. They needed to get on with it.

 

"It's about 10. You make up your mind yet?"

 

"Yeah. Make me some tea and hand me the phone."

 

Yoji bristled but did as he was told, staggering out of bed to put on the water, then crossing the room to drop the phone into Aya's outstretched hand. "Who are you calling?"

 

Aya ignored him and dialed the number. This was like taking a bandage off a wound - better to just get it over with.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Omi. We need to talk."

 

"I see. What do we need to talk about?"

 

"Have you heard anything from Kritiker yet?"

 

Long pause. He hadn't, then, but he didn't want to admit it. Good.

 

"Someone assassinated Hiroto Nakayama yesterday. There are some things you need to know about it."

 

Another long pause, even more suspicious than the last. "OK. Let's talk."

 

"I think you need to come to me." Aya gave him the address and disconnected. He looked up at Yoji. "You have about twenty minutes to get the hell out of here, and I mean it."