X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Searching For..... ❯ Friends ( Chapter 4 )

Title: Searching For…
Author: JadeHeart

Archived: Found on CLAMPesque Board, AdultFanfiction.net and Fanfiction.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!

Fandom: X/1999

Rating: X

Warnings: thoughts of death and violence, angst

Timeline: After the Final Battle in the anime series.

Summary: Fuma must face the world after the Final Battle, and himself. And so life goes on ...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they are all CLAMP's, nor am I making any profits from this.

 

 

Part 4 : Friends

 

 

Fuma stared at the paper he held in his hands, dumbfounded.

 

The pink paper was covered in little cartoon cats with big eyes and long whiskers, in various poses of play. His mind was having a hard time getting around the fact that someone had sent him an invitation to a party, that someone would send it to him on this type of paper - but most of all, that `someone' happened to be Yuzuriha! What on earth possessed her to do this?!

 

A knock on the door drew him back to reality and he looked towards it, “Come in,”' he called quickly.

 

The door opened and Nokoru stuck his head around the corner with a smile. “Sorry to disturb you, Fuma, but I wanted to let you know that we were going to be away for a few days so I'm afraid you'll have to get your own meals. The fridge is well stocked though so I don't think you'll starve!”

 

Fuma didn't respond, his mind only half on what Nokoru was saying. His air of distraction made Nokoru frown in concern and he entered the room fully and he walked over to where Fuma was sitting on the end of his bed.

 

“Is something the matter?” he asked worriedly, half leaning down to peer into Fuma's face.

 

Fuma was still speechless and could only hold out the paper for Nokoru to take, which he did. Nokoru scanned his eyes over the message, feeling a smile tug at the corner of his lips. Even through the paper Yuzuriha's boundless energy seemed to infuse the message; every word, every inflection was all purely Yuzuriha! Ah, he had missed her presence in the mansion!

 

When he had finished he glanced down again at Fuma, who still looked completely stunned. He couldn't help the chuckle that rose in his chest, which soon burst out in a full fledged laugh. This startled Fuma even more. What on earth had got into Nokoru?! This was no laughing matter! Fuma frowned at his laughing friend.

 

Nokoru waved his frown away, still chuckling as he handed the pink paper back to Fuma who took it, smoothing the crinkled edges on his knees.

 

“So what do I do?” Fuma asked worriedly.

 

“What do you mean, what do you do?” Nokoru replied with surprise. “You accept, of course!”

 

Fuma's head shot up. “What?! I can't accept!”

 

“Why ever not?”

 

“Because….because….I just…can't!” Fuma's emotions churned in his guts. Gods, he was going to give himself an ulcer at this rate!

 

“Don't be stupid!” Nokoru said sharply, placing hands on hips to glare down at him.

 

Fuma felt like trying to huddle in a ball and disappear into the bed clothes. Nokoru really could be scary when he put his mind to it.

 

“Don't you dare refuse and hurt Yuzuriha's feelings! She's gone to a lot of effort to think of you so the least you can do is acknowledge that and accept - graciously!”

 

Fuma felt suitably chastised. He probably was being selfish, but he was completely unnerved by this unexpected gesture.

 

“But I….still don't know what to do?!” he almost wailed in his despair. This was going well beyond his realms of reality at the moment.

 

“Well, a present would be a good start.” Nokoru stated practically.

 

“A present, yes,” Fuma mused getting to his feet, his hands still unconsciously smoothing the paper they held. “But …like what?”

 

“Well,” Nokoru scratched his chin a little awkwardly. “I'm not exactly sure myself. I don't generally buy presents for young girls that much.”

 

“Young girls….what do they like?” Fuma continued pacing the room, thinking. “I used to buy presents for Kotori but…” he shied from that but then deliberately made his train of thought continue. “Kotori was very different from Yuzuriha and she was my sister after all so that makes it different too. What would be appropriate for Yuzuriha?”

 

Nokoru had heard the pause in Fuma's words when he had mentioned his sister's name, and he was extremely proud how he was then able to continue on. The boy had come a long way in these last ten months from the broken child he had been. Nokoru had been pleased to see Fuma begin to grow again as a person, to come to terms with the past and look towards a future. There were still shadows in his heart though, one in particular that Nokoru knew would never fully go away, no matter what happened, but Nokoru fervently hoped that someday that shadow would be only a tiny portion in Fuma's soul and that the boy would finally find the peace and love he deserved. Oh, if only he were a few years younger!

 

“Flowers are too formal,” Fuma was muttering to himself, still pacing. “And she might suffer from hay fever. Does she?” he turned to look at Nokoru who shrugged.

 

“I never noticed if she did.”

 

“No, flowers wouldn't do. Something for the house? But I don't know where she lives, or if she lives at home even still. I guess she would, she's only 14.”

 

“Almost 15.” Nokoru put in with a smile.

 

“15?” Fuma said with surprise.

 

“Almost.”

 

“Hmm. 15 …what do 15 year old girls like? Clothes, jewellery...” he shook his head. “They're too personal. I couldn't give any of that to her. I don't even know her taste.”

 

“Well, it's not just her birthday remember. It is a betrothal ceremony.”

 

“Aghh!” Fuma said, throwing his hands up to clutch his head in despair and then, hearing the crinkling of the paper still in his hand, quickly brought them down and began smoothing it out again.

 

He placed it carefully on the table top and re-read the message. “I can't believe that she's getting betrothed.”

 

“I don't know why you're so surprised. From the time those two met I think it was destined that they would come together. And they know it.”

 

“But she's so young!”

 

“Youth doesn't mean that you can't love, or understand real love when you find it.” Nokoru said with a gentle smile. “When two hearts and souls meet that are destined to be together, they know. There may be difficulties, they may have to wait, it may be a hard path to find the happiness they seek, but if they truly believe in themselves then they can overcome all obstacles. Those two know that and are fully prepared to accept it, and they want to share this moment with all of you who are their friends.”

 

“Friends?” Fuma stilled for a moment, thinking about that. He slowly looked up from his bent position, “Is that what I am?”

 

Nokoru smiled at him fondly “What do you think? Would you just invite anyone to your betrothal ceremony? For something that important and special to you, would you want to be sharing it with strangers?”

 

Fuma shook his head “No, I guess not.” He knelt down and softly ran his hand over the paper before him. “But I haven't even seen her since….”

 

“Does that matter? Obviously she doesn't think so.”

 

Fuma looked up again. “But it doesn't make any sense! Why would she want me there? I almost killed her! I would have killed her except Kusanagi was there! Why would she want me to be there?!”

 

“Perhaps because she wants all those that played such an important part in the saving of the world to be present at a time when she is the happiest? Because there is a world that she can be happy in.”

 

“But I didn't save the world! I was responsible for trying to destroy it!”

 

“And so was Kusanagi!” Nokoru put in forcefully to prevent Fuma slipping back into despair. The boy still hovered so close to the brink at times, especially when he was feeling vulnerable, as he was at present.

 

His words did make Fuma pause and think. Nokoru was right. Kusanagi had been a Dragon of Earth, the only one surviving from that group. Fuma remembered that he had always seemed out of place in the group. He had so much more warmth and feeling than any of the others. He had been so much more grounded. Perhaps not surprising as he was an earthmaster and so had such an intimate connection to the Earth and everything on it.

 

And surprisingly this Dragon of Earth fell in love with the youngest Dragon of Heaven; a mere slip of a girl, with boundless energy and a large heart. A heart that was so full of love that it was as big as Kusanagi's heart. Yes, they really were a good match and he was glad for them. So if Yuruziha could find it in her heart to love a Dragon of Earth, perhaps she really could forgive him. Perhaps she really could think of him as a `friend'.

 

He glanced back at the pink paper and couldn't help the smile that began to touch his lips. He let out a quiet laugh and looked up at Nokoru who was still standing there.

 

“I guess I will be going after all.”

 

“Good!' Nokoru said firmly, pleased at Fuma's decision. He turned to leave the room when Fuma's voice halted him.

 

“But I still don't know what to get her!!”

 

**************************

 

Fuma smoothed his jacket down again, a nervous gesture to keep his hands from shaking. Now he was standing outside his destination he was having serious second thoughts. Make that third, fourths, fifths and continue to infinity!

 

What was he doing here? he thought to himself. He still couldn't believe that he had a place here, that he had any right to be here, despite receiving the invitation. What was he going to say? Who else was going to be here? He glanced down at the box in his arms and began to sweat a little. Gods, he hoped he had chosen the right sort of gift! That was almost just as worrying as whether he should even be here at all!

 

He was just about to come to the decision of just leaving the gift at the door and escaping, when the said door was thrown open in front of him and a squeal rent the air, “Ohhhh, I'm so glad you came!!” and a small body threw itself against his chest and two slim arms encircled his waist in an almost rib cracking hug!

 

He stifled a brief surge of pain at the contact, wishing it were another pair of arms that clasped him in this way, that it was another dark head that nestled on his chest. He swallowed a sigh - it was not to be. Never.

 

Yuruziha then looked up and must have seen something of his feelings on his face, for she quickly released him and skipped backwards a couple of steps.

 

“Oh, I'm so very, very sorry!” she said, bowing deeply to him in apology. “I shouldn't have done that at all. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to hurt you!”

 

He held out a hand to try and stop her outpouring of apologies. It wasn't right for her to talk about hurting him just with a hug. Not after all the intense pain, both physical and emotional, that he had inflicted on her.

 

“It's all right,” he managed to get out. She looked up at him from her bent position, head cocked to one side. “It's okay.” he assured her.

 

“You sure? You really did look sad.”

 

He shook his head, slowly managing to smile at her. “Just a… memory. That's all.”

 

Yuruziha stood upright, looking at him intently. For someone so young she had a very direct and probing stare. Perhaps not so surprising seeing as who she was. “You were thinking of Kamui.” she said softly.

 

He felt his breath catch. She was far too perceptive, but he couldn't lie to her so he just slowly nodded his head.

 

She smiled sadly back at him. “I know. I think of him, too. I wish he were here. It would have been so nice if he had been. I know he would have had fun. Even if he pretended he wasn't!” She took a step closer to him, stretching her head back so she could look up at him. “I know how much he meant to you, because I know how much you meant to him. Just like how much Inuki and Kusanagi mean to me. I wish I could have done something to have helped you both.” She glanced down “But I couldn't. I was powerless. And I was more worried about Kusanagi at that time. Sorry.”

 

Again, that word. Fuma couldn't understand how these Dragons of Heaven felt sorry for him. Not after everything he had done. It seemed so strange.

 

He reached out a hand and rested it on her shoulder making her look up again. “It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong.”

 

She smiled at him “I know. Truly I do, and Kusanagi tells me that all the time if I ever get down in the dumps. But it was such a terrible, terrible time. I'm so glad it's all over but I really, really wish that people like Karen and Kamui could have been with us. They deserved this world just as much as we did, so sometimes I can't help but wonder, why am I here and they aren't? Who chose me to be the one to survive? And why am I allowed to be so happy now? Sometimes it seems really wrong and I think I must be a terrible person to be this happy and be looking forward to such a wonderful life and I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people around me who are my friends.

 

But then I think that this is what I should be doing. That this is why the others died, to ensure that people just like me could be happy! That is what they believed in, and that is what they died for. So the least I can do is truly show my appreciation for everything they have done for me and share every moment of my happiness with others!”

 

Fuma smiled at her fondly. “You were just as prepared to die, too,” he said, remembering their battle. “You had the same dream, the same wish for this world and the people you held dear. You would have sacrificed everything for it. You are just as brave and giving.”

 

“Really?” Yuruziha said, searching his face.

 

He nodded. “Oh, yes.” He smiled larger. “I know that for a fact!”

 

“I'm glad!” she said, throwing herself into his arms again. This time he embraced her back, accepting her for herself and not seeing a ghost in her place.

 

“Looks like I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on you, young miss. As soon as my back is turned you're out chatting up other men!” a deep voice came from the shadows of the doorway.

 

Yuruziha giggled and skipped to the side of Fuma, still keeping her arms locked firmly around his waist. “Ah, Kusanagi, at least he's really cute!”

 

A deep laugh greeted her response as Kusanagi stepped out into the light, a broad smile on his face. “That he is! At least I can admit you have good taste in men!”

 

Fuma felt a blush touch his cheeks under their teasing. This was the last thing he expected!

 

“Of course I have!” Yuruziha said with a laugh, releasing Fuma and throwing herself at Kusanagi. “I chose you!” Kusanagi reached down and lifted her into a bone crushing hug that she seemed to revel in.

 

“You always did know the nicest things to say!” he said as he placed her gently back on her feet.

 

“Bring Fuma inside whilst I go get some drinks!' and she rushed away.

 

Kusanagi stared after her fondly, a smile on his lips, before turning back to Fuma. There was a silence between them for a moment, but before it could become awkward, Kusanagi inclined his head and put out his hand. “Welcome to our home. Fuma.”

 

Fuma looked down at the proffered hand. This man knew only too well what he had been, he had seen the other `Kamui' at close quarters on more than one occasion, had followed that other `Kamui' in the lead up to the Final Battle. The man knew, and yet still held out a hand in friendship. And he had made certain to stress his name; to acknowledge that he knew the other `Kamui' was gone, and now there was only Fuma.

 

Fuma looked up and placed his hand in the other's, feeling it close around his in a sure, but gentle hand shake. “Thank you.” he said sincerely. Then a little self consciously he held out the gift he was carrying.

 

Kusanagi raised an eyebrow as he took it. Fuma raised a hand behind his head in another self conscious gesture, and gave a little shrug. “I didn't know what to give her.” he said sounding almost helpless.

 

Kusanagi smiled at him as he placed a hand on his shoulder to steer him inside to where the other guests were standing. Fuma could see Seiichiro Aoki standing to one side with his wife and young daughter. Seiichiro raised a hand in greeting, a welcoming smile on his face. Arashi Kishu was seated elsewhere, a swathed bundle in her arms, a gentle smile on her face as she crooned to the baby there. She glanced up and directed that warm smile towards him also.

 

And in a dark corner was a person whom Fuma truly hadn't expected to see here, but in some ways he guessed he should have. After all it was only natural that all the remaining Dragons of Heaven would be invited. And that would include Subaru Sumeragi.

 

Kusanagi continued to move him into the welcoming huddle of people clustered in the garden. “It doesn't matter,” he was saying in response to Fuma's concern about the gift. “She'll like it no matter what it is. Because you gave it to her.”

 

Fuma felt the warmth all over.