X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Searching For..... ❯ Home ( Chapter 6 )

Title: Searching For…..

Author: JadeHeart

Archived: Found on CLAMPesque Board, and AdultFanfiction.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!

Fandom: X/1999

Rating: X

Warnings: yaoi, lemon

Timeline: After the Final Battle

Summary: Fuma finally reaches the end of his search ... and realises that home is where the heart is

Author's Notes: To me it seemed perfectly logical that these two would get together in the end. After all, they are the ones that lost the most during the Final Battle. I was surprised whilst I was writing these chapters just how similar Subaru and Fuma were. They both were responsible in a way for the deaths of their sisters, loved an `enemy', lost their beloved by their own hand, and would always be left wondering if their beloved truly did love them in return. (oh, the angst!!). And the main connecting factor was that their beloved were on opposite sides to themselves in the Final Battle so the closest people to them right up to the end was each other. What a twist of fate!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they are all CLAMP's, nor am I making any profits from this.

 

 

 

Part 6: Home

 

 

Subaru turned to make his way to the door but was halted by Fuma's sudden shout, “Don't go!”

 

He turned his head to look over his shoulder, halting. “It's time I did, Fuma. You're much better now. You don't need me here anymore.”

 

“I do need you!” the youth said vehemently.

 

“Why?”

 

There was a long silence that stretched between them as Fuma stood there, hands clenched at his side, anger radiating from his body. He lifted his chin defiantly. “Because I love you!”

 

Subaru was not really surprised at this declaration. He had suspected that Fuma had developed a crush on him. It was only to be expected, after all the emotional trauma the boy had gone through. He sighed. He had hoped to avoid such a scene as this, to just be able to walk away quietly. Now he would have to try and break Fuma of his infatuation, and do it gently but firmly so there was no mistake.

 

“No, you don't,” he responded firmly. “You just think you do. You'll realise that soon enough.” He turned to go again.

 

“How dare you!” The venom in Fuma's voice made Subaru halt, and turn fully this time. “How can you say that?! I know what I want! I know what I feel!”

 

“Why do you think you love me? Because I've helped you? Is that it?” Subaru asked, expecting to hear such words as gratitude, respect and so on. He didn't want to listen to such platitudes, but knew that is all it was. That is all it could ever be.

 

“Because you're you!” Fuma shouted loudly, eyes flashing.

 

Subaru took an involuntary step backwards, eyes wide with surprise at the forcefulness in the boy's voice, and the completely unexpected response. Subaru prided himself on reading other people, and reading them correctly. He wasn't often surprised. The last time had been when he was sixteen years old.

 

Fuma stood there, back rigid, hands clenched at his sides, glaring back at him. “I love you because you are you. Because no matter what you've been through, how much you are hurting, you can't but help others, to give your all for them. Even when you think you are being completely selfish, you have to help!”

 

Fuma took one step forward, muscles still taut. “You are the most wonderful man I've ever met. You have such strength and power, and yet your hands are so gentle, and that matches your heart.”

 

Subaru opened his mouth to speak, but Fuma interrupted him sharply. “I know you're not perfect! Don't think I don't! You've been telling me how imperfect you are for the past month, and don't think I'm blind to your faults. Have you forgotten I was the `Kamui' of the Dragons of Earth? I know you! I saw your darkest desires, your deepest wishes! I know perfectly well that you have faults - but don't you see?! That makes you human! It makes you more real as a person. Not as a figurehead, or an icon, or some unattainable object. You're a person, Subaru! With all the good and the bad, the strengths and the weaknesses, of any one else! But you also truly, most deeply care about things! About people!”

 

Fuma now turned his head to one side, breaking his gaze from Subaru's, his voice dropping. “I know I can't expect anything from you. I know how much you….loved the Sakurazukamori. I can't compare to him in any sort of way. I'm nothing compared to him.” His head swung back in Subaru's direction, “But it doesn't mean that I can't love you! Just because you don't feel the same towards me, doesn't stop my feelings from being real! And they mean something to me, even if they don't to you!”

 

Subaru could see the unshed tears glistening in Fuma's eyes. He could feel the sincerity of the boy's words. His senses told him that Fuma was speaking the truth.

 

“I know you could never love anyone else again. Not like you did…him. I understand that. But,” and his tone turned beseechingly, “you can't stop me from loving you! I can't stop myself from loving you! Can't you…. let me keep my love for you?”

 

Subaru felt something snap within him, and he quickly closed the distance between them. He reached a hand up slowly to touch Fuma's cheek gently. “You fool,” he said softly, thumb caressing the smooth skin under his hand. “Of course, I love you.”

 

It was Fuma's turn to be surprised, eyes widening in disbelief. Subaru saw the flash of fear in those eyes, the fear that Subaru was just saying this to smooth the scene over, to calm Fuma down. The fear that it wasn't true. Subaru understood that sort of fear, he recalled it still clearly from the time he was sixteen. He wouldn't let someone else spend their lives trying to deal with that fear.

 

Slowly he leant forward, and brushed his lips against Fuma's, gently and, oh, so softly, asking for nothing, demanding nothing, just a brief touch. He drew back slightly, giving Fuma some room. Fuma's eyes were flicking across his face, searching for answers to what ever questions were spinning in his mind. His face was a little flushed from that soft kiss.

 

Subaru let his hand slide away from Fuma's face, falling to his side, when suddenly Fuma grabbed it in one of his, and keeping his eyes locked on Subaru's, gently drew it upwards again to place a soft kiss on the back.

 

The gesture reminded Subaru painfully for a moment of Seishirou, with a stab of loss.

 

“I'm sorry!” Fuma stammered, dropping Subaru's hand quickly.

 

Subaru realised that he had seen that flash of emotion and misunderstood. He quickly grabbed one of Fuma's hands and placed the other on one of his shoulders, holding him firm, preventing him from fleeing.

 

“It is all right,” he said reassuringly. “It was just a….memory.”

 

Fuma searched his face carefully. “Of Seishirou?” he asked hesitantly.

 

Subaru nodded, not wanting to lie at this point. “Can you truly accept that I did love him? That part of me will always hold him dear in my heart? Can you truly accept that?”

 

Fuma considered this seriously. Could he? Did he really want to be with Subaru, knowing how deeply he had loved that other man? Looking deeply into Subaru's mismatched eyes, he came to a decision.

 

“Yes,” he said firmly, leaving Subaru in no doubt of his conviction. “We both have pasts. We both have people whom we loved and …lost. And maybe it is wrong for us to cling to them so hard in our hearts, but I can't let go of Kamui either. But,” and he raised a hand to rest over Subaru's on his shoulder. “But I know I want to be with you.”

 

“In what way?” Subaru asked softly.

 

Fuma felt himself blush again. What did he want from this?, he wondered to himself. Subaru had done nothing yet, leaving the decision to Fuma as to the next step. If Fuma asked him to leave things here, then that is where it would end. Subaru wouldn't shun him, they would probably still see each other here and there, but that would be it.

 

Suddenly the realisation that Subaru may leave this room and return to his estate in Kyoto, and Fuma would no longer have the older man's presence around him each day, left him cold. He didn't want Subaru to go! If Subaru had to go, he wanted to go with him! He didn't want Subaru to coddle him, or be mothering him or anything like that. He wanted to be able to be there to help and protect Subaru too!

 

Subaru still stood silently before him, awaiting his answer. He took a deep breath, the flush on his face burning. “I want you…with me always.” he said in a voice barely louder than a whisper, yet still it seemed to echo in the room.

 

Subaru heard the words and couldn't stop the leap of his heart. He had so wanted to hear those words! Previously from another man entirely, but that was not to be, perhaps was never to have meant to be, he didn't know. Perhaps all that had gone before had simply been to bring both of them here, now, together in this place, in this time, in this way.

 

He had realised some time ago that he had developed strong feelings for Fuma, putting it down at first to his own innate caring nature, then to the fact that Fuma had been close to Seishirou, and still sometimes even did look like him. Then he began to believe his feelings were simply because he was sorry for the boy and wanted to care for him.

 

He had also been alert enough to notice some of the signals Fuma had begun to give him, but he had disregarded those, believing it was nothing more than some hero worship, gratitude for being looked after, even not wanting to be alone. He had been so very wrong to have thought he had known better what Fuma was feeling, than himself. He had no right to treat another's feelings so cavalierly. So he had clamped down on his own feelings, quashing them deep inside, all the time feeling himself unworthy. Now it was out in the open.

 

“What…do you want?” Fuma struggled to get the question out, still fearing what answer he would get.

 

Subaru dropped his head so their foreheads rested together, and briefly closed his eyes. “I want you. With me.” he said softly, his breath caressing Fuma's face. The hand held by Subaru tightened around his in response, and Subaru heard the indrawn breath.

 

“Thank....you,” Fuma breathed back, raising his head, eyes bright. “Thank you.”

 

Subaru smiled and moved his hand from the shoulder, back to cup the face. “I think I should be thanking you. It took your courage to bring me out of myself. I thought you just admired me. That's all.”

 

Fuma shook his head. “I do. But there is just so much more. I want to do so much for you, with you, I want to know so much about you, and everything you do. And I want to take a long, long time doing it.”

 

Subaru trailed a finger down the jaw line and brushed his thumb over the full lips. “I think I would like that too.” he said with a slow smile.

 

“Good.” Fuma said, with an answering smile.

 

Subaru leant forward and once again placed a soft kiss on the lips. “Thanks for telling me.” he said.

 

As he began to withdraw, Fuma pushed forward to press his lips back to Subaru's. Subaru stilled for a moment, making certain that the boy was aware of what he was doing.

 

It wasn't a chaste kiss, for all it was with closed lips. Subaru slipped his hand into the hair, cupping the head, and drawing the mouth closer. He felt a hand hesitantly rest on his waist, under his coat. The thin t-shirt allowed the warmth from that touch to reach his skin, and he began to tingle. The sensation made him press forward more firmly, bringing his body closer to Fuma's.

 

Fuma let out a small moan, and an arm snaked further around Subaru's body to rest on the small of his back. Subaru flicked his tongue out lightly touching the closed lips before him. He felt the shudder go through Fuma at the contact, the slight clenching of the hand on his back. He did it again, and this time Fuma's lips parted slightly.

 

Taking this advantage, Subaru slipped the tip of his tongue inside, just a brief touch, and then a withdrawal. Another moan, and the lips parted further. Again Subaru pushed his tongue forwards, lingering a little longer before withdrawing. The arm around his waist tightened, drawing him closer, and the lips parted fully into an open-mouthed kiss. Subaru thrust his tongue forward and plundered that warm, moist, softness pressing against him. He touched Fuma's tongue and coaxed it to return his attentions, which Fuma willingly did.

 

“Ohhhh…” he heard Fuma voice, feeling the shoulders shaking, the hand gripped in his, clenching and unclenching.

 

Subaru pushed backwards, forcing Fuma up against the wall that had been a bare foot behind them. With the wall supporting the youth from behind, Subaru pressed his full body closely against Fuma, one leg pressed between the boy's. He heard Fuma moan again, more deeply, as his hips pressed into his groin. He pressed harder and Fuma broke the kiss to lift his chin and rest his head back against the wall, baring his neck, as his hips gave an involuntary thrust at the unexpected pleasure.

 

Subaru dropped his head and trailed tongue and kisses along that smooth white column that was before him. He could feel the pleasure building in his body also, but he was determined to go slowly. He didn't wish to frighten Fuma.

 

**********

 

Fuma felt his sensations were in overdrive. The kiss had been mind-blowing, the touch of Subaru's tongue and lips against his had sent sparks shooting through his mind and body. When he had felt Subaru's entire body plastered against his, he just about melted, and it was probably a good thing that the wall had been supporting him. Gods! The feelings!

 

Then he felt the pressure in his groin, a pressure that continued to grow. He could feel himself hardening, but didn't have time to feel embarrassed. There was only room for pleasure, for wanting. He couldn't help the moan that escaped him as the pressure increased, and he felt his hips thrust up to meet it. He leant his head back against the wall, savouring the feel in his crotch, when he felt Subaru's mouth on his neck. He shivered; he couldn't help it, the tremors running up and down his spine. Every touch of lips, tongue, every soft kiss that landed, made his skin tingle and his body crave for more.

 

He wanted…he wanted….he didn't know what he wanted, but he wanted more!

 

He slid his hand up Subaru's back, feeling the vertebrae under his fingers. Subaru was so thin, whipcord lean. He suddenly had a flash of memory of that morning he had awoken to find Subaru naked in the bed next to him. Even through the shock and embarrassment that he had felt at the time, a part of his mind couldn't help but marvel and store away the image of the slim, lean body lying there, the skin stretched across the ribs, dipping down to the stomach and lower…..at that time he had drawn his eyes away, and left the bed quickly to find refuge.

 

Now the image of that naked body filled his mind. He wanted to see it again. He wanted to feel it!

 

His hand had continued to run up and down Subaru's back whilst he had thought this and now, daringly, he gripped the bottom of the t-shirt and pulled upwards, slipping his hand underneath. He felt the smooth skin under his hand, the shiver that made it ripple under his touch. He gloried in that sensation.

 

************

 

Subaru felt Fuma's hand moving on his body, and at the touch on his bare skin, he couldn't suppress the small groan that escaped him. Fuma's hand slipped fully under his shirt, reaching up to the shoulder blades, then back down to his waist, long sweeping strokes. Subaru shuddered in desire. It felt sooo good!

 

He left off his attack on Fuma's neck to trail his tongue upwards, following the line of the strong jaw, out to the ear to nibble lightly there for a moment, before returning to claim the sweet mouth. This time there was no hesitation in Fuma's response, no uncertainty. They held this kiss for a long time, before the necessity of having to breathe claimed them. They broke the connection, mouths still barely a couple of inches from each other. Both men were breathing fast, skin flushed and lips swollen.

 

Subaru let go of Fuma's hand, and raised his to caress the other side of the face before him. He smiled into Fuma's eyes, the youth looked a little dazed, a little over whelmed. Subaru's smile deepened and he made to step further away. That is enough, he thought. Despite what I want, it will be too much for him at present. But as he tried to break the contact, the arm on his back pressed him back firmly against the hard body before him.

 

“Don't leave it there,” Fuma said breathlessly, gripping Subaru tightly. “Don't you dare try and leave it there!”

 

Subaru looked at him seriously. “Fuma, do you know what you are asking? Where this is leading to?”

 

Subaru wasn't certain Fuma truly did understand what would happen if this continued. Subaru didn't want to hurt the boy in any sort of way, and he didn't want to get to a point where suddenly Fuma did come to his senses and wanted to stop. Subura was selfish enough to know that if it had gone that far, the desire in his own body would be nigh on unbearable, and Subaru would much rather sate it with a partner than be forced to deal with it on his own. He was, after all, only human.

 

Fuma gazed back at Subaru, eyes clearing as more coherent thoughts broke through. He nodded, “I know. And I want to.”

 

Subaru said nothing.

 

Fuma spoke again. “I know,” he emphasised. He took a deep breath. “I'm a little scared, but I do understand fully what I want. And I want it with you.”

 

Subaru couldn't help the joy that met that statement, the swell of pleasure of being wanted so much by someone. He smiled. “Okay. But if you change your mind, tell me straight away. I don't want to be responsible for hurting you. All right?”

 

Fuma nodded, “I will. But I won't.”

 

*************

 

Fuma was so happy to hear Subaru's words, the fact that the man would tell him he had the right to change his mind. He felt certain he wouldn't, but he was still scared, a small flutter of fear in his stomach.

 

“Don't be afraid,” Subaru whispered, bringing his lips back to Fuma's in soft, gentle touches. “Just relax and enjoy. We'll go slowly.” He drew back a little further to smile deeply at Fuma. “I want to savour this for as long as possible.”

 

The desire Fuma could see burning dimly in Subaru's eye was enough for his erection to begin to harden again. Then Subaru's lips were back on his, the soft kisses becoming more and more ardent, and he responded as he felt his own desires continue to bank.

 

He felt Subaru's hand slide down his neck, over the shirt on his chest to his waist. His other arm had come up to encircle Subaru's waist, keeping the man pressed against him whilst his other still stroked Subaru's back.

 

*************

 

Subaru pulled the shirt up, untucking it and pushed his hands underneath, holding them still to let Fuma become accustomed to the touch and to let them warm up a little. He felt Fuma's indrawn breath as his stomach sucked in at the contact.

 

Slowly he slid his hands upwards, tracing over the ribs, continuing upwards until he felt the bump of Fuma's nipples. Using both hands, Subaru began to play. He brushed fingertips lightly over the nubs, gradually pressing harder. Using fingers and thumb he rolled them, stroked them, pulled and flicked. He could feel Fuma's body begin to respond as he twitched and writhed in his grasp. He could also feel Fuma's length hardening against his thigh, which made his own harden in response.

 

He withdrew his hands at the same time he broke the kiss, and went back to licking and kissing Fuma's neck and ears. Fuma's breathing was coming rapidly now, Subaru could feel his pulse racing under his tongue as he licked over the pulse point on his neck.

 

Subaru started at the bottom and, moving only by touch, began to undo the buttons of Fuma's shirt. Slowly, one button at a time, he undid them and then lightly traced the exposed area with his fingertips, barely grazing the skin. Then the next button, touch….next button, touch.. and so on. As he reached the last at the hollow of Fuma's throat, Subaru moved his lips to the same point and suckled there a moment as he used his hands to separate the shirt and push it slowly off the shoulders. He had to tug a little forcefully to make Fuma release his death grip on Subaru's body and drop his arms, so Subaru could slowly slide the shirt down his body.

 

With the shirt still encasing half his arms, Fuma was in a helpless position, and Subaru couldn't help but take advantage of this. He dipped his head and fastened his lips around one exposed nipple. Fuma threw his head back, body arching at the contact, and he thrust forward blindly. A strangled moan came from him at the touch.

 

Subaru smiled around the hard nub between his lips as he began to nibble gently. Fuma's response was only making his own desire increase. He let the shirt fall from Fuma's arms and immediately brought his other hand up to caress the other nipple as he continued to suckle. Fuma's shaking arms came up to encircle him, gripping the coat. At each new sensation, Fuma's whole body would push against him, their groins grinding against each other, erections tight in their clothing, and desperately trying to touch.

 

Suddenly Subaru felt a tugging at his shoulders.

 

**********

 

“You….” Fuma managed to gasp, in between Subaru's licks and nibbles. “don't….get to….have all….the fun!” and he managed to clear his head enough to take a good grip on the collar of Subaru's coat and wrench it down the man's arms, hard enough to break his hand's contact with Fuma's overheated skin.

 

Subaru gladly obliged, letting Fuma strip the long overcoat away, but he may have broken Subaru's hand contact, but his mouth was still firmly fixed to Fuma's chest and continued to pleasure him.

 

Fuma groaned aloud. This was driving him crazy! He needed to feel Subaru!

 

His feelings must have communicated themselves to Subaru, for he raised his head and fastened his mouth back onto Fuma's, who moaned both at the loss of contact on his sensitised nipples and the intimate contact he craved in the kiss. He felt himself pulled away from the wall and almost thought his knees would buckle, but strong arms held him up.

 

Slowly he was walked backwards; one step, two, three. On the fourth he felt the edge of the bed bump against the back of his knees and he toppled back wards, falling into a soft pile of sheets and cushions, and another weight followed him down. Hands were on his chest now, running downwards, flicking gently across his nipples, over his ribs and trailing along the waist band of his pants.

 

He opened his eyes and looked up into Subaru's face. The green eye looked down, a soft sensual smile on the lips. That look made Fuma shiver and a warmth build in his groin. He reached up a hand and trailed his fingers across the beautiful face above him. Sometimes Fuma feared that Subaru would just disappear one day. He seemed too beautiful to belong to this world. But then again, so had Kamui. His heart clenched a little at that thought. Subaru wasn't Kamui, just as he wasn't Seishirou. They had both accepted that. They wanted to be with each other, not ghosts. He tangled his fingers in Subaru's short hair and drew his face down to kiss. How he loved that feeling!

 

Subaru's touch and lips were sending fires to every part of his body. He felt so good! He sat up, half dislodging the man on top of him.

 

“What..?” Subaru half questioned.

 

“It's okay,” Fuma assured him, wriggling backwards to be more fully on the bed and tugging on Subaru's hand to draw him closer. As Subaru crawled closer until he was kneeling between Fuma's knees, he reached out and grasped the bottom of Subaru's t-shirt. “I just wanted us to be more comfortable.” he said with a smirk and tugged upwards to pull the t-shirt over Subaru's head.

 

A smile of appreciation lifted Subaru's lips at his actions. “Oh, I'm all for being comfortable.” he said softly.

 

“Good. Because pleasure works both ways.” and Fuma dropped his head to lick one of Subaru's nipples. This action elicited a soft moan from Subaru and Fuma felt hands tangle in his hair as his head was pressed closer to Subaru's body, and he felt the man's back arch.

 

“So good….” the soft voice whispered, spurring Fuma on. He continued to lick and nibble, just as Subaru had done to him, before turning his attentions to the other nipple also. He brought his other hand up to play with the now abandoned nipple and could feel both hardening under his ministrations, whilst Subaru's breathing began to get faster. He ran his hands over Subaru's body, up his back, over his ribs, brushing his nipples and down to his waist. He hesitated one moment before he undid the belt and then the button. He felt a soft tug on his hair and raised his head.

 

Subaru looked down at him, a smile on his lips. Had he done something wrong?, Fuma wondered.

 

“You don't have to,” Subaru said softly, “Not yet. There's no rush.” And those luscious lips drew down to claim his in a searing kiss.

 

He felt himself being pushed down flat, the body above him encompassing his. He shivered at the full contact of their bare chests against each other, sensitive nipples being pressed against warm skin. He closed his arms across the back of the man above him, feeling his hands slide on the skin that was sheened in sweat. Fuma was a little surprised, until he realised that he, too, was sweating, pent up fires from inside burning through his soul.

 

The kisses and hands were everywhere, touching, burning, teasing. Fuma moaned and writhed and his erection, restricted in his pants, pulsed with a life of its own, and was becoming more than he could bear.

 

**********

 

Subaru could feel Fuma reaching his peak. He didn't want it to end too soon, but at the same time he needed to do more, to feel more. Gently he ran his hands down Fuma's leg, moving it back towards his crotch. He brushed his hand lightly over the bulge that was there and felt Fuma's body jerk in reaction, and the boy moaned under him. He did it again, feeling Fuma's hands clutching at him. He slowly undid the pants, sliding the zipper downwards, and slipped a hand inside.

 

Fuma's body quivered violently and for one moment Subaru thought he had climaxed, but then realised this was not the case. Not yet anyway. But it was close.

 

Subaru could feel the erection filling his hand, his long fingers wrapping around it, encompassing it, sliding over the silkiness of the skin. Slowly he began to stroke Fuma, sliding his fingers up to the head, running a thumb over the slit to collect the beads of precum that had gathered there, before sliding back down.

 

Fuma moaned again, head thrown back in ecstasy, hands grabbing at the bedclothes, and Subaru dropped his head lower to suckle on the nipple at the same time.

 

“Oh, gods!” Fuma gasped out, back arching. How could he continue to feel so much?! The pleasure coursing through his body was intense, more than he could ever recall!

 

Subaru sat up on his knees. He stopped his motion and slipped both hands over the waist band and began to slide them downwards. Fuma opened his eyes to watch and tried to assist, though he seemed to have some problems with making his mind work properly. Soon he was unclothed completely, lying there naked, the white crispness of the sheets silhouetting his dark beauty.

 

Subaru gazed on him hungrily. Fuma was magnificent. His youth and beauty, his muscular body fit from the years of basketball, the dark hair falling across the eyes that gazed up into his. Subaru let his eyes wander down the entire length of that graceful body, from head to toes, and back up. He could see the chest rising and falling in time with Fuma's rapid breathing that, if anything, was beginning to increase at Subaru's scrutiny. He could see the erection that lay on his stomach, red as though it were on fire, a fire that Subaru felt in his own body and a fire he knew could only be quelled in one way, and he so wanted to do it now! But he still needed to go slowly. As much as he wanted to bury himself in Fuma's body, to lose himself in that embrace, he wanted this to last, to savour each moment, each sensation.

 

He reached out a hand and ran it up Fuma's leg, hearing the indrawn gasp, and seeing the erection twitch, lifting from its dark cushion to then fall back. He dropped his head to lick the entire length from base to head, and Fuma arched into his touch.

 

“Oooooh…” he heard, as he took Fuma into his mouth. He wanted the boy to feel every sensation, every moment of pleasure that Subaru could give him. He continued to lick, to swallow, taking Fuma deeper and deeper into his mouth, feeling the hips buck against him. He placed a steadying hand on the hip to hold him down whilst he continued with his actions.

 

He knew Fuma was close, very close. The boy didn't have the control yet, every sensation being completely new and so overloaded with intensity that there was no room for anything else. Next time, since he would understand and know what was occurring, would be longer.

 

He deep throated Fuma, relaxing throat muscles to take the entire length of him inside. Fuma let out a shout, his hands clenching in Subaru's hair as he climaxed, Subaru feeling his warm release sliding down his throat as he swallowed. Fuma continued to gasp and buck as Subaru did so, milking him, before slowly letting Fuma slide out of his mouth. Fuma's entire body collapsed on itself, every muscle becoming limp.

 

Subaru slid himself slowly up the boy's body, covering him entirely, Fuma's arms shakily encircled him, holding him tightly, burying his head into the crook of Subaru's shoulder.

 

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.” he murmured over and over again in Subaru's ears.

 

Subaru raised his head with a smile and tenderly brushed the hair from Fuma's sweaty forehead. The boy opened his eyes and looked up, his expression still slightly glazed from the afterglow of his release.

 

Subaru placed a gentle kiss on his nose. “It's not over yet. Unless you want it to be.”

 

Fuma's eyes cleared a little, and one of his hands had slid down Subaru's back to jar against the jeans Subaru was still wearing. Subaru could feel Fuma pause a moment, thoughts flashing through his mind. Then a smile touched his lips and he stretched his head up to press them against Subaru's for a moment.

 

“I want you to show me everything.”

 

“Everything?” Subaru said with a soft chuckle. “We'd be here a long time, you know. And I actually don't think it would be physically possible. For either of us!”

 

Fuma responded to his humour with a smile and soft laugh of his own, as well a small blush. “Well, as much as possible,” he suggested. “And we can then work on the rest later?”

 

Subaru's smiled deepened, feeling a building of desire in his body at the thought of being like this with Fuma again. “I think I would like that. Very much so.”

 

“Good.” Fuma answered, drawing Subaru's head down for a kiss.

 

As the kiss deepened Subaru felt Fuma's hands back at the waist of his jeans. One crept to the front, sliding between their bodies to fumble with the zipper. Subaru shifted a little, raising his body slightly to allow Fuma better access. It was a good thing that the button had already been undone. Trying to do that one handed would have been extremely difficult.

 

The zipper slid down and then two hands were pushing the jeans downwards, sliding them over Subaru's thin hips, down his thighs to his knees. A little wriggling resulted in him being able to push them off the rest of the way, and then slowly and gently he lowered his entire body over Fuma's.

 

Fuma caught his breath at the feel of Subaru's naked body pressing against him. It was so much better than just his chest, he could feel every muscle on the man's body, every movement. He also became only too well aware of the solid erection that was now cushioned between their bodies, sticking into his stomach. It sent a flash of fire into his own limp member, only to receive an answering response. He couldn't believe it! He could feel himself hardening again as Subaru slowly slid his body against his, only a few inches but the motion brought their erections together and Fuma felt himself harden further, his breathing speeding up. Is this what it was always like? Would always be like? How he wanted this!

 

Subaru suddenly rolled over onto his back, strong arms gripping Fuma and pulling him over with the roll, so now Fuma was laying on top. This created a whole new sensation for Fuma. Subaru's hands slid down Fuma's back, slick with sweat, running along the spine, finding the sensitive areas that made Fuma squirm, which Subaru found quite delightful.

 

Subaru continued his downward motion until both hands cupped Fuma's buttocks. Gently he began to squeeze and knead them, gently and firmly. He felt Fuma press his hips down harder and he let out his own gasp. The pressure and friction against his erection was becoming almost unbearable. He tried to calm himself. He had to hold on a little longer.

 

His long fingers trailed over Fuma's cheeks, pressing, parting, stroking. Subaru could feel Fuma's own erection harden further. It wasn't completely erect yet. Not surprising, considering the boy had just come only a few moments ago, but still impressive.

 

Subaru slowly let one finger dip into the crack between Fuma's cheeks, slide along the length and then out, nothing to alarm him. Again and again Subaru did this, gradually making his way closer to Fuma's entrance.

 

Subaru could feel the dip when he reached that puckered hole. He would softly trace around it with the tip of a finger for but a moment and then withdraw, leave it for a moment, and then return. He kept this motion up, feeling Fuma begin to writhe in motion to his touch, his erection hardening further, and his hips begin to thrust, not just downwards, but back to meet Subaru's questing fingers.

 

Subaru kissed Fuma's neck, ears, face, feeling Fuma raining kisses along his neck also, the boy's warm breath against his neck, the hands clenching and unclenching on his shoulders.

 

Subaru cracked an eye open and looked over to the bedside table. Yes, there it was, he had thought he remembered it was still out. If it had been put away Subaru wasn't certain if that wouldn't have destroyed this moment completely if he had been forced to go find something, and there was no way he was going to continue with this without some additional help for Fuma.

 

Removing one hand from Fuma's body, he stretched out to the bedside table. Damn it! He couldn't reach! No, he thought grimly, he refused to be beaten. He would reach it! He tried again, keeping up the kisses and hand movement to keep Fuma focused on that and not what else Subaru was doing.

 

He felt his hands graze the side of the tube. Yes, he thought triumphantly. Slowly, and a little painfully due to the intense stretch he was forced to maintain, he was able to slide the tube closer to his hand. He couldn't help the deep sigh that escaped him when he could relax his muscles again. The tube was now lying on the bed next to them.

 

Subaru turned his attention back to Fuma quickly. The boy was still moaning, the thrusting of his hips stronger, more demanding and Subaru could feel that his erection was now fully fledged.

 

Subaru awkwardly unscrewed the lid, thankful for his dexterous fingers, and squeezed a large portion into his hand. The tube had been for Fuma to rub into his scars, to help soften the tissue. It was nothing more than a natural liniment and would suit their need at this time. Thank goodness it had been here!

 

He moved his oiled hand back to Fuma's buttocks and slowly slid one slick finger down the crack to his entrance. Moving his other hand, he lifted Fuma's head and captured his mouth in a searing kiss and at the same time, pushed the slick finger into the young man's body.

 

He could feel Fuma start in shock, his body jerk at the unexpected invasion, and then he pulled his finger out a little before pushing it back in again, further this time. He continued this gentle finger moving, his tongue delving into Fuma's warm, welcoming mouth in time with the motion, and felt the boy begin to relax again, as his body accepted this new sensation.

 

Subaru continued to pump his finger in and out, each time going deeper. He began to move it gently inside, nothing too sudden, just gentle sideways rolling motions, hooking the finger slightly to drag along the inside of Fuma's channel.

 

He knew he had found the prostate when a choked shout erupted in his mouth as they kissed, and the body lying on him began to quiver. He touched the spot again, feeling the gasp and moan and the hips thrusting upwards as Fuma tried to push him deeper in search of that feeling. Subaru couldn't help but chuckle, the sound swallowed up by their joined mouths.

 

He pulled his finger out and this time slid two inside, pumping slowly until he felt the channel stretching wider to accommodate him. Fuma was beginning to make things very difficult as he writhed uncontrollably, unable to do anything but respond to the sensations coursing through his body.

 

Subaru continued his pumping motion, releasing Fuma's mouth so he could breathe. Fuma immediately buried his head back into Subaru's neck, his moans and gasps exciting Subaru further. Subaru's own breathing was anything but silent, and his erection was straining against its entrapment between their bodies. It was screaming out for release and Subaru knew that he could not hold off any longer.

 

With a last effort of coherent thought, he reached a hand down to the tube and squirted a large potion into his hand, not caring that some got on the bed also. Gripping the body above him, he rolled them over again, so he lay on top in his original position, body nestled between Fuma's spread legs.

 

Kneeling back, Subaru broke the full body contact, feeling a pang of loss and hearing that thought echoed in Fuma's moan. Fuma's eyes opened to watch him. Subaru grabbed his own erection, gasping at the contact, and smeared the lotion over it liberally, never taking his eyes from Fuma's.

 

“I want you,” he grated out, voice gravelly with lust, not caring that the tone may not sound the most comforting or caring, his need was so great. “I want you now.”

 

He had finished preparing himself and slid a hand back down to Fuma's hole and pushed two fingers in fully. Fuma arched up with a cry, and then collapsed back with a gasp. Subaru continued to pump his hand, in and out of the body beneath him.

 

“Do you understand?” he questioned, not breaking his motion. Fuma's body continued to jerk in response to his actions

 

“Take me!” Fuma forced out, arching again as Subaru brushed against his prostate.

 

That demand was all Subaru needed. He lifted Fuma's knees, positioned himself at the slick entrance and thrust in fully. He knew he should have gone slowly, let Fuma's body become accustomed to his size, but he truly couldn't have held back any longer.

 

He threw his head back when he was buried in the boy's body up to the base. So hot, so tight…..he clenched his teeth and dropped his head to look at Fuma spread out below him. Fuma looked up, a little pain showing in his eyes but over riding that was desire; intense desire, and all directed at Subaru.

 

Subaru reached down and wrapped a slick hand around Fuma's full erection. The boy thrust into his hand, pushing his erection into that warmth and also pushing Subaru even deeper into his body. Subaru groaned. Too much stimulation, too much wanting!

 

He began to slide his hand up and down Fuma's erection, feeing it twitching, pulsing under his touch. And he began to move his hips also, pumping in and out of the boy beneath him. Out, in …slide, thrust. His breathing came faster, he could feel the sweat dripping down his body, sliding down his chest, and that was a turn on itself.

 

In….out, again. He could see the sweat covering Fuma, a bead run down the side of his face, eyes closed and mouth opened in a gasp of delight. Subaru saw Fuma's tongue flick out to lick dry lips and he groaned at the sight, thrusting faster. How he wanted this boy!

 

No, correction - this man. A young man to be sure, but he was still a man, Subaru's equal. Not a plaything, not a toy, never that. A man, a partner - his partner. That thought suffused through Subaru's mind, as his hips thrust harder, as Fuma opened up below him further, taking him in deeper and deeper, his hands clenching on Subaru's thighs, pulling him closer.

 

He had found his partner. He would not be alone again. He felt his muscles bunching, the tightening in his balls. He was going to come, but he wanted to see Fuma come first. He wanted to see his partner reach that pinnacle first, to give that pleasure.

 

He moved his hand quicker on Fuma's length, feeling the body around him tighten further, muscles taut with desire, straining, breathing rasping loudly in the stillness of the room. He heard Fuma give a loud cry, throwing his head back into the pillows around him and a final violent upward thrust and his whole body convulsed. Subaru saw the semen fountain upwards from the engorged tip held in his hand, spreading across the chest and stomach…. once, twice, again.

 

Subaru watched fascinated. So much, so much life! He felt Fuma's interior muscles clench around his member buried deep in the other's body, and that was enough for him. He closed his eyes on the beautiful site of Fuma bathed in sexual release, and thrust quickly, pushing himself harder, faster and then felt his whole body shudder as his own release hit him, pouring his semen into the dark warmth of the body below, gasping and moaning at the intensity of the contact until spent, he let his body slump.

 

Two hands reached up and guided him downwards to lie on the chest, legs wrapped around his waist ensuring that he didn't slip from the warm cavern enclosing his softening member. He didn't mind the stickiness, they could always shower later. Now he just wanted to lay here; to savour the feel of warm arms wrapped closely around him, pulling him in tightly. They encompassed him, welcomed him, enclosed him, but at no time did they feel confining. For the first time - for the first time, he felt like he had truly come home.

 

***********

 

Fuma pulled Subaru closer, willing the man to relax and sleep. He knew he was sticky and sweaty, but then so was Subaru. They could sort that out later. For now he just wanted to savour the feelings he was having; the warmth, the closeness, the togetherness. It felt so right. He rubbed his cheek against the soft hair beside him. This was where he belonged. This was what he had been searching for.

 

He was home.

 

~End~