Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Desire ❯ Forever Lost ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami No Matsuei. I so wished I did because I would have the two sexiest guys together in a heart beat.
Warning: Foul language, angst, and yaoi.
Summary: The demon desires are strong and all this time Tsuzuki has fought them for the sake of his friends. But when he is tired of them yelling at him, Tsuzuki unleashes those desires and finds himself betraying the ones who cares for the most. What will happen when everyone learns whom he has been seeing?
Notes: Once again, I must say thank you for all the reviews I got for this story. I do want to let you know, I'm not a Tatsumi/Tsuzuki fan, but wrote part of that in the last chapter just to make the story a little bit more interesting. I'm totally a Muraki/Tsuzuki fan. In this chapter Tatsumi deals with the pain from Tsuzuki. Hisoka starts to act strange around Tsuzuki and more Muraki/Tsuzuki. I hope you enjoy the story and please review to tell me what you think of the story so far.
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Chapter Three: Forever Lost

By the time, Tatsumi and Watari stood in front of Oriya once again, he was smirking at them both. They are idiots to think Oriya would betray his friend. With one look at the shadow master, Oriya sighs out, "8000 Golden Road, Pent House 2510." As Tatsumi narrows his blue eyes at him, Oriya explains, "Muraki just saved your life. Purple eyes would have killed you if you went near him." Oriya already knows what demon blood can do to someone. After all, he has seen it within Muraki almost seventeen years now. When golden eyes stare at him to explain more, Oriya tells them part of Muraki's past, "I know this because it happened to Kazutaka. When he was a teenager and lets say it didn't stop until Kyoto. Well, as much as it will since he no longer has want he needs to take his life." Lighting up his pipe, Oriya thinks, "If only Saki didn't do that to Kazutaka, then he would still be the same friend I knew all those years ago." It is strange to remain friends with someone who has changed so much over the years, but Oriya is loyal to his friends.

Tilting his head to the side, Watari asks, "Was it the person Muraki tried to bring back to life with Tsuzuki's body?" When Oriya nods to answer, Watari asks, "What is stopping him now?"

While chuckling, Oriya states, "Your friend destroyed the head of that bastard and ended all hopes for Muraki to have his revenge." The only reason, Oriya helps Muraki now is because it tames down his demon blood. With that in check, Muraki hasn't killed anyone. As he looks over the pissed off shadow master, Oriya resorts, "I do not care what you think, but this is the only way to stop them both from killing millions of people. I thought that is what you guys would like."

While watching Oriya walk toward the door, Tatsumi speaks up with anger in his voice, "You are right about that, but we are concern about Tsuzuki-san."

Shaking his head, Oriya replies, "No. You are in love with him and can't stand to see him in another man's arms. Get over yourself and move on. Purple eyes can't love you because there is no love in a demon. Only lust lives within a demon and what I hear, Mr. Tsuzuki has more demon blood than Muraki does. Now, good night." After taking care of Muraki's business, Oriya goes inside to handle his own business.

Within ten minutes, Watari finds himself with Tatsumi outside the pent house. The outside is beautiful and to think Muraki is a mad doctor. Shaking his head, Watari follows Tatsumi up to the pent house. As he walks inside with the help of Tatsumi unlocking the door, Watari notices Muraki sitting on the couch waiting for them. Before Tatsumi can attack, Watari asks, "Where is Tsuzuki?"

As he smirks at the guardians, Muraki answers, "In the bedroom asleep. He did have a busy day after all." Oh, Muraki wants to make Tatsumi suffer for touching what belongs to him. After all this time, Muraki refuses to give Tsuzuki up to Tatsumi or to the boy. He knew Hisoka saw everything and wonders what he will do now. When Tatsumi narrows his blue eyes at him, Muraki states calmly, "To let you know, none of your magic works in this place." At this moment, Tsuzuki walks into the living room with a towel wrapped around his waist. Staring over the perfect body he took early, Muraki wishes he brought more time to have Tsuzuki once again. Then again, Muraki wouldn't care if Tsuzuki's friends saw.

Blushing at the fact his friends are staring at him, Tsuzuki asks, "What are you doing here?"

Over coming the shock, Watari replies, "We were worried about you." He wants to tell Tsuzuki do whatever he wants since it is his life. When Tatsumi walks out the room, Watari explains, "Don't worry about him, Tsuzuki. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears." Maybe part of him being okay with this is because he loves Tatsumi and Tsuzuki with Muraki works for Watari. Shaking such thoughts out of his mind, Watari gives Tsuzuki a smile. For some reason, Watari knows this is more than lust for these two. Maybe they do love each other, but refuse to admit it because they fear the out come. As he sighs, Watari thinks, "You two are idiots. Worse than Tatsumi."

Hearing his cell phone ring, Tsuzuki answers with a calm voice, "Hello." When no response comes, Tsuzuki looks on his caller ID to see it is Hisoka calling him. As he walks into the bedroom to leave Watari with Muraki, Tsuzuki resorts, "Hisoka, what is it?"

A small voice asks, "Where are you, Tsuzuki?"

While laying down on the bed, Tsuzuki mumbles, "Out." The pain rises within him for lying to his partner, but what could he say? Should Tsuzuki tell Hisoka the truth? It will tear them apart forever. Even if Tsuzuki is with Muraki, he still needs the teenager boy. As he looks out the window, Tsuzuki thinks, "I need to talk to Hisoka now, but I just end up hurting him." That is the only reason he doesn't tell Hisoka the truth. He fears telling Hisoka everything. All last week, Tsuzuki raised his shields and yelled at Hisoka if he was ready to touch him.

Hisoka resorts with sadness in his voice, "I see. Have fun."

The statement makes Tsuzuki jump and mumbles, "Hisoka." What else can he say? There is no excuse for being with Muraki.

Sighing over the phone, Hisoka replies, "I'll see you tomorrow at work."

As the phone line goes dead, Tsuzuki shakes his head in confusion. He dresses and walks into the living room to see his friends waiting for him. Why would they care to stay here for him? Taking a seat, Tsuzuki mumbles, "You can go now. As you can see I'm fine, and Kazutaka would be stupid to attack me." When it looks like Tatsumi is going to protest about this, Tsuzuki resorts, "I don't need a babysitter every damn day."

Shaking his head, Muraki replies, "I believe you should leave, Mr. Tatsumi." He can see that Tsuzuki's demon blood is still unease with Tatsumi at this moment. Not sure why he should care if Tsuzuki killed his friend, Muraki looks over his favorite doll. What is the difference if he let Tsuzuki kill his friends?

As he notices Tsuzuki grabbing the chair with force, Watari replies, "Lets go, Tatsumi." With all his reading on demon behavior and what Oriya said earlier, Watari knows full well that Tsuzuki is trying to hold back. While hearing a protest coming from Tatsumi, Watari punches Tatsumi in the gut to knock Tatsumi out cold and whispers, "Sorry." He takes Tatsumi and disappears from Muraki's pent house.

While watching Tsuzuki calm down, Muraki feels Tsuzuki's forehead to notice the fever is back. Shaking his head, Muraki pulls a protesting Tsuzuki into the bedroom. Now, he will have to watch his doll and keep him from killing the shadow master. It is strange for Muraki to be concern about someone he hates with a passion. Maybe it is because the man is madly in love with his doll. As he lays Tsuzuki down, Muraki takes off Tsuzuki's clothes quickly.

After Muraki removes his clothes, Tsuzuki yells, "What the hell are you doing!?" Struggling against Muraki's body weight, Tsuzuki yelps when his hands are tired to the bed post tightly. While glaring at Muraki, Tsuzuki resorts with anger in his voice, "I think you had enough fun with me already."

As amusing this is, Muraki finds it very annoying at this time. Rubbing his groin against Tsuzuki's to shut him up, Muraki whispers with a very unpleasant voice, "Your demon blood was ready to end Mr. Tatsumi's life in the living room. As much as I would enjoy the death of the shadow master, I know you will kill yourself and I am not done with you." When Tsuzuki starts to pant, Muraki smirks and resorts, "That is better. Now, I have your attention, do you want me to take care of your little problem?"

After Muraki rubs against his cock again, Tsuzuki moans out, "Yes. Oh, god, yes." Why does he feel this way? The way Muraki kisses his neck and down his body makes Tsuzuki crazy for more. Why does it have to be Muraki? Is it really true that he must have another demon to tame his own blood? When he feels the warmth around his cock, Tsuzuki thrusts into the waiting mouth and screams, "Kazutaka! More!"
While hearing the moans and grunts coming from Tsuzuki, Muraki pulls away. When he sees Tsuzuki glare at him because he stopped, Muraki smirks down and whispers in a husky voice, "It seems you cannot get enough of me. I guess I am that good." As he throws Tsuzuki's legs over his shoulder, Muraki moans while thrusting into Tsuzuki, "God, still tight."

Tossing his head back, Tsuzuki feels something tear inside of him and thinks, "It will heal by tomorrow. Pain means nothing to me." As he feels Muraki thrust harder, Tsuzuki screams out his pleasure slash pain, "More! Harder!" Why does he enjoy this kind of pleasure? Is he the same as Muraki? When he feels a hand pump his cock, Tsuzuki grunts, "Kazutaka." Moving his hips to meet Muraki, Tsuzuki can't hold on any longer and cums with a scream, "Kazutaka!"

As he feels Tsuzuki's climax, Muraki gives in to his body's demands. After pulling out of Tsuzuki, Muraki unties him and helps him to the bathroom. It is time for them both to relax. While the bath fills up, Muraki asks, "Why do you stay, Tsuzuki-san?" Not sure why he asked the question but Muraki wants to know. The way Tsuzuki has been acting puzzles Muraki. Never before has he had someone call him by his first name after sex.

After going into the hot water, Tsuzuki answers, "I don't know, Kazutaka." Why does he use Muraki's first name afterwards? As he leans back against Muraki, Tsuzuki ponders to himself, "Is there more to us than we want to accept?" In a few minutes, Tsuzuki falls asleep.

Muraki looks down to find his doll asleep against him. Sighing out loud, Muraki asks, "Are you trying to end me, Tsuzuki-san?" After twenty minutes, Muraki carries Tsuzuki to bed. As he looks at the clock, Muraki dresses and writes a quick note. Walking out the bedroom, Muraki mumbles, "I will not be done in by foolish emotions."

An hour later, Tsuzuki wakes up in Muraki's bed with pain running up his back. Shaking his head, Tsuzuki finds a letter beside him. He reads the letter to himself.

Tsuzuki-san,

I hope you slept well. I had some business to attend and hope to see you later. Please tell Mr. Tatsumi to keep his hands off of what is mine. If you touch him, I will kill the shadow master. As always, it was a pleasure to share my bed with you.

Muraki

In slow moments, Tsuzuki dresses himself and disappears. When he goes into the office building, everyone stares at him. As he looks at everyone, Tsuzuki thinks, "I hope everyone doesn't know. I don't feel like explaining what the hell I'm doing." Turning around to see Watari waving for him to come into the lab, Tsuzuki sighs and walks into the lab. While taking a seat on a stool, Tsuzuki asks, "What's up?"

With a smile on his face, Watari replies, "Just wanted to talk." As he moves closer, Watari whispers, "About you and Muraki. What is going on there?"

As he blushes, Tsuzuki answers, "Nothing." Why does it bother him that Muraki only sees him as a good fuck? With sadness in his eyes, Tsuzuki explains, "It just happened and now I can't get enough of Kazutaka."

This is the second time Tsuzuki has said Muraki's first name and Watari realizes this is more than just sex. As he sighs, Watari leans back and states a fact, "You're in love with him." When it looks like Tsuzuki is going to protest him, Watari explains, "That is the second time you said his first name. I heard what happened between you and Tatsumi. When you were inmate with Tatsumi, you didn't even call out his first name."

After thinking about that information, Tsuzuki realizes it is true. Why did he do that? Lowering his head, Tsuzuki mumbles with guilt, "I'm sorry, Watari. I know you care for Tatsumi." When he feels a hand on his shoulder, Tsuzuki looks up to find a soft smile that tells him not to worry about it. Ready to say something else, Tsuzuki notices Hisoka walk in. That ends the topic on Muraki. There is no way Tsuzuki will reveal to his partner that he might be in love with his murderer. How did it come to this?

As he looks over at Watari, Hisoka asks, "Can I have a minute with Tsuzuki alone?" When Watari nods and walks out, Hisoka yells, "Why the hell were you with Muraki!?" For hours the only thing Hisoka could think about was Tsuzuki in the arms of his murderer. He was hoping Tsuzuki would explain what happened over the phone earlier, but Tsuzuki lied to him. That is what hurt the boy more. After a few minutes of silence coming from the older man, Hisoka punches the walls and screams, "Answer me! Damn it, Tsuzuki! He is my murderer!"

Turning away from hurtful green eyes, Tsuzuki resorts, "I don't know."

Punching Tsuzuki in his face and watching his partner fall to the ground from the force, Hisoka yells, "That is not an answer! I hate you! I'm done being your partner!" All the hatred and anger built up to explode right in Tsuzuki's face. As he realizes what he said, Hisoka tries to take back his words, "Tsuzuki . . . " Hisoka watches Tsuzuki run out the lab in tears. Falling against the wall with tears in his own eyes, Hisoka mumbles into his arms, "I'm the baka."

In the mortal world, Muraki sits on the porch smoking a cigarette. As he hears his long-timed friend join him, Muraki asks, "Why did you help me?" After the first time with Tsuzuki, Oriya told Muraki that he would never help him again. Looking over at Oriya, Muraki resorts, "You do not plan to answer me." When Oriya nods his head to answer, Muraki sighs out, "I want to know."

Chuckling at Muraki, Oriya answers, "You are a sick damn bastard, but still a friend. Who knows why I help you?" That is right, Oriya doesn't even know why he helps Muraki. Maybe it is because he is in love with Muraki. Oriya has been in love with Muraki since they were teenagers and he doesn't know how to let go of the only man he ever felt emotions for. Maybe it is because Oriya wishes to save Muraki in some odd way. As he looks up at the stars, Oriya asks, "Do you feel anything when you are with him?"

After thinking about the question for a few minutes, Muraki answers with the truth for once, "I am not sure. I feel something, but I refuse to let anyone have power over me again." It is his past that prevents him from letting anyone into his heart. After all the things Saki did to him, Muraki can only feel revenge and hatred. No one would understand those emotions except Oriya. Oriya was the only Muraki ever told the whole story to. As he inhales the cigarette, Muraki explains, "I cannot let him have power over me."

Hearing those words, Oriya asks, "Do you think he likes people having power over him?" With that said, Oriya stands up and walks inside to let Muraki think about what he said.

Putting out his cigarette, Muraki thinks, "If he is anything like myself, than no." As he leans back against the wall, Muraki wonders if Tsuzuki is thinking about him. Like reading his mind, Muraki hears his cell phone ring and answers, "Hello."

With a muffle voice, Tsuzuki asks, "Can I see you?"

As he hears sniffles on the other end, Muraki answers, "Yes, but I want to know why you are crying." It has only been two hours since Muraki left the guardian. Why would Tsuzuki be in tears? Why does Muraki even care?

Tsuzuki resorts, "Okay. I'll tell you when I see you. Where are you?"

Without thinking of the trouble he could cause Oriya, Muraki responds, "Oriya's." Before he hangs up his phone, Muraki watches Tsuzuki appear out of thin air. To his surprise, he finds Tsuzuki in his arms crying even more. Rubbing Tsuzuki's back to comfort him, Muraki asks, "What happened?"

Sniffling, Tsuzuki answers, "Hisoka found out and...and he doesn't want to be my partner any more. He told...told me that...that he hates me." As he holds onto Muraki more, Tsuzuki cries harder. How could things go so wrong? He was happy with his friends and his partner. How could he mess all that up with one mistake? As he looks at Muraki, Tsuzuki thinks, "But was it really a mistake?" Going back over what Watari told him, Tsuzuki wonders if he is really in love with this mad man. Something always made him attractive to him. After Kyoto, Tsuzuki knew there was more to Kazutaka Muraki than meet the eye. There was something that made Muraki this way and Tsuzuki wanted to know who could have done this to him. Maybe at first, Tsuzuki thought there was no reasoning behind this mad man. As time went on and Tsuzuki saw Muraki more, he knew it was more. Then the thought about the weird head in the lab made Tsuzuki believe it had to do something with him.

Wiping away Tsuzuki's tears, Muraki whispers, "He does not understand you." He refuses to say that the boy doesn't understand him as well, but Muraki knows Hisoka understands all too well. It is revenge and hatred that binds them to a world of hell. It is sad that the hatred within the boy is because of him. Has Muraki became what he hated the most? Was Saki right all those years ago? With a small of sadness in his voice, Muraki explains, "Bouya understands me more than he can ever understand you." When Tsuzuki looks at him confuse, Muraki continues, "He feels the same hatred as I do, but it is different. With you, bouya does not know what you have done and what you can do."

Leaning his head against Muraki's well-tone chest, Tsuzuki listens to a real live heart beat. After ten minutes of listening, Tsuzuki asks, "What happened to you in the past? What made you this way?"

Those questions that Muraki never wanted to hear from anyone. It is his secret. The only person who knows everything about Muraki is Oriya. Can he really trust Tsuzuki enough to tell him of his past? As he looks down to see purple eyes that sucks his soul right out of him, Muraki resorts, "Maybe another time, Asato. It is late and I do not care to talk about it right this minute."

With the pain within Muraki's eyes, Tsuzuki decides to drop the topic and asks, "Will you tell me sometime?"

After pondering over the question, Muraki answers, "I do not know." When Tsuzuki nods in understanding, Muraki gives him a real smile. That is when he senses the boy here and Muraki speaks up, "You can come out now, bouya."

As he turns his head to see green eyes wide, Tsuzuki whimpers, "Sorry." He is not sorry for being in Muraki's arms. The reason he is sorry is for the fact he can't love Hisoka. After Kyoto, Tsuzuki figured out the boy was in love with him the same way Tatsumi is.

With tears in his eyes, Hisoka responds, "It's me who should be sorry. Sorry to trust someone like you!" After saying the harsh words, Hisoka disappears to go back to Meifu.

Feeling Muraki wrap his arms around his numb body, Tsuzuki releases all his pain out. There is no one but Muraki now. Tatsumi can't stand to look at Tsuzuki any more. Watari says that he is all right, but Tsuzuki knows he is hurt. Hisoka wishes to never speak to him again and doesn't want to be his partner. All Tsuzuki has know is Muraki and he doesn't know what he would do if he loses this man right now.

Sighing out loud, Muraki asks, "Do you really wish to know what made me this way, Asato?" When Tsuzuki nods his head, Muraki explains, "The reason I am this way is because of my half-brother, Saki. It happened when I was sixteen."

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Notes : Sorry, but you will have to wait until the next chapter to find out what happened between Saki and Muraki. I'm so evil. Wait, that is Muraki, sorry. Will Hisoka stop being Tsuzuki's partner? Will Tatsumi ever be able to forgive himself? Will Watari forgive Tsuzuki and Tatsumi? Thanks for your reviews and please review this chapter to tell me what you think.