Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Hisoka Doll ❯ Emotions of a Dream ( Chapter 4 )

Title: Hisoka Doll

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Creepy Doll + Hisoka (@_@)

Warnings: General weirdness, and Hisoka might be really OOC…but…I have my reasons and he knows this ^_~ Um…shounen-ai? Hey, it's a doll.

Disclaimer: Aah…I can't wait until the 14th…wait…that doesn't have anything to do with the disclaimer. Um…Yami no Matsuei is not mine…but I'll own my very own copy of the Descendants of Darkness DVD when it comes out! So…don't…sue? Or…something…

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Hisoka Doll

By Elf Asato

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Fourth Chapter

"Emotions of a Dream"

I should have known I'd dream about this… Tsuzuki, insisting that I needed the distraction, forced me to go to earth with him, dragged me to a movie, and then took me out for ice cream… In a way, I did appreciate it, but the whole thing was very uncomfortable since I found out from my empathy that Tatsumi had given the idea to him…

The dream was a refreshing break from the nightmares and dreams of nothingness I had been having lately, though.

In the corner of my dream I sat, watching the two of us walk the city streets… We stopped in an ice cream parlor and I ordered the smallest cone they had while Tsuzuki had this giant sundae bigger than his head; he even finished it before I did mine. It was just like what we had done…except it was so silent…no car horns, no random chatter, no conversations…

Why is it always so quiet?

Even if there had been noise in my dream, it still would have seemed somewhat silent to me… You very well can't feel the emotions of a dream, can you? …So Tsuzuki and I walked down the streets…talking, though I could hear nothing. …I guess I never really have a chance to read things other than emotions…like body gestures, facial expressions…so it was odd, seeing him smile brilliantly like that while talking to me. It would have made me happy, but I noticed something about his beautiful violet eyes; they were sad.

I sighed and at the same time, I felt…without really feeling…his presence…

"…Who's that?" he asked, watching my dream with me.

I hesitated before responding, keeping my eyes on Tsuzuki and myself, "A friend."

A cold chill traveled up my spine and I tore my eyes from us to see the faceless doll by my leg, staring up at me. He glanced back at my dream (at that point, Tsuzuki had his arm draped across my shoulder, trying to show me something), but then his head turned and I knew he was staring back up at me. There was something about his tone when he stated, "You two seem very friendly."

He almost seemed…jealous…but I could never actually read him. "We've been through a lot, but he's just a friend," I replied quickly, surprising myself. I had no idea why I felt the need to explain to him…

"Looks like he doesn't see it that way."

I looked back to my dream and we were there in the park where he told me that he was worried about me and just wanted to see me happy. Of course, in the dream it was silent and I know what it looked like…with him hugging me and me blushing… "It's not like that…" I muttered, but in a way, I had the feeling it was a lie…

We watched in silence until the dream finally faded out and the doll and I were left with nothing but darkness. "…You shouldn't be friends with him," he said, barely above a whisper.

"…Why?"

"…You're different…you don't belong together," he stated simply.

I looked back at him…but I had…just had to look away when our gazes met.

"You're not human…but…with those eyes, neither is he… Still…you're-you're mine…not his."

So he was jealous… "…You're wrong," I muttered, "Tsuzuki is the most human person I know."

"All the more reason for you to be with me," he said firmly, placing a tiny hand on my leg.

I…I didn't know what to say, so I chose silence. I couldn't help repressing the urge to break out into a smile, though. In…a way…it almost pleased me to hear him say that…but then again, I just wanted to dropkick his little head for even suggesting that Tsuzuki was anything but human…

"Hey…sit down," he said lightly, tugging at my pant leg.

I felt no reason to not comply, so I found myself sitting on the ground. When he seated himself in my lap with his head resting against my chest, I couldn't help but blush against my will…

"Just," he began, "because you look like a human…does that necessarily make you one?"

Absent-mindedly, I stroked his head gently as I tried to answer. I was saved, though, when he moved on.

"…Why would anyone really want to be human, anyway? …Really…why would you want to be something so weak…? Why not choose a stronger creature to be? …Not like animals…but…creatures…like us…" he muttered with his face against my chest.

"Well, you can't really choose what you were born as," I sighed, trying to sound introspective…contemplative…something, anything besides what I was feeling right then…

Why wouldyou want to be something as weak as a human?

They're all afraid of what they don't understand…

They're all afraid of you.

"…You're right," he finally sighed after a few moments of silence.

I stroked his soft, soft blond hair. I almost hadn't noticed it, it was so light, but it was so soft. The kind of soft that you could just melt in and stay that way forever. "…Do you consider yourself weak?"

He didn't answer that impulsive question of mine right away and it seemed like he wasn't going to answer at all until he finally replied, "…Not anymore, no." …And that was all he said.

At that moment, I didn't know what he was thinking, but I just knew that I wanted to be like that forever…me stroking his hair with his head against my chest. It…was almost like we belonged together.

And…for a brief second, I actually thought we did.

I barely noticed when the shadows enveloped him and he disappeared…my own eyes drooped and finally shut in what one could call a sleep… Only, when I slept in my dream, I woke up in reality.

…Don't ask me how that works…

I felt…almost…tranquil, but at the same time, very disturbed deep in my heart. My mind and my emotions were at war with one another, confusing the hell out of me in the process. Nothing was what it seemed anymore…like I was caught in a tornado. My head and heart were tossing things miles away and expecting me to know just exactly where they had landed… I was so…confused…but I did know one thing:

The only person who could calm the winds at that moment…was Tatsumi.

Chapter End

Ending notes: Blargh…I just realized that I think this will be the last chapter where Hisoka talks about his past dreams… I think chapter 5 will move on to present time because I didn't count the two dreams (one not described ^^;;) in chapter 1. …I always forget what they call earth…er, that one place…it's like Chijou or something… What the heck am I talking about? Er, I seem to be rambling…don't mind me.

Ugh! I had so much trouble getting the wording exact on the last couple of sentences…does it sound/look okay? Argh *worries* …HA! Bet you didn't expect Hisoka to want Tatsumi then! …I was actually thinking of two other people (one of them of course was Tsuzuki ^_^) …Well…maybe you did expect that. Arr…I'm so predictable… I can't help it…I love Tatsumi! Besides…yay…I get to write in present time now! Whoo! …What's with my "argh", "arr," and "blargh"s…? Um…something…argh (no! Not again!), it's so late right now… I should really…not write notes when it's this late… I tend to ramble on and on and on about things that couldn't be more irrelevant if they tried.

…Irrelevancy!!!!!!!!!!!!! @_@ (I love that word! [irrelevant] …I'll be sure to use it in my next chapter ^_^ Ooh…bracket things…[luff 'em…] …Arr [-.-]…I need to go to sleep…)