Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Hisoka Doll ❯ Collection of You ( Chapter 3 )

Title: Hisoka Doll

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: (in my mind, it's official...) Creepy Doll + Hisoka

Warnings: General weirdness, and it occurred to me that Hisoka might be really OOC…but…I have my reasons and he knows this ^_~

Disclaimer: You know the drill ^_^

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Hisoka Doll

By Elf Asato

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Third Chapter

"Collection of You"

I wasn't surprised that I felt like crap in the darkness of my nightmare - that's how I felt in reality. It had been a week since receiving the scar in my dream…and having it carry over into reality. I suppose that's when my health and mentality started in a downward spiral. I had worn a band-aid I managed to get from the material world and every time someone asked me about it, I always told them (to my own disgust) that it was just a fashion statement.

I just couldn't let them know what had happened.

"What's that?" the ever-familiar voice rang out, shattering the darkness.

Slightly spooked, I choked out, "Oh you! Uh…this? Oh…it's…it's nothing…"

That beautiful, faceless doll stood at my feet, peering up at me with a quizzical tone in his words. "If it's nothing then why do you have it?"

"I…er…ah…" I muttered, pulling off the band-aid in one quick motion. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt. In fact, I didn't feel a thing…

He was silent for a few moments before simply mumbling, "Oh." I could tell he was sorry about the scar on my face, but I wasn't angry with him at all and I wanted to tell him that… "I'm sorry."

"No, it's quite alright. I'm not mad or anything and it doesn't hurt," I explained.

"You have a scar… Did I do that? Did I really do that?" he asked, glowing with concern. I just wanted to wash all that concern and worry away… "Did I shatter your face? Break my doll? …I'm sorry."

"No…really, it's okay…" I muttered. It was unnerving for me to be in my dream with him… As an empath, I could feel nothing from him, but a sort of sixth sense told me that it was there, just like with his smiles. I suppose empathy is a sixth sense, but this…seemed even beyond that… And to top it off, I had mixed feelings about him that I couldn't even tell what they were. I'll admit, even though I feel everyone else, I'll be the last one to know how I feel.

"Are you sure?"

"…Yes. I'm positive."

"Good," he exclaimed happily, "because I'd hate to have you mad at me! …You know…I really like you. I like you a lot. You're the favorite in my collection."

"You say you have a collection…but…aren't I your only doll?" I asked curiously. It's…not like I'd be jealous if he did have others…

"A collection of you," he beamed…and I couldn't help smiling as well.

A collection…of me…

"You know…" he continued, "we're a lot alike, you and I."

"…Oh? How so?" I asked casually, but something about his tone disturbed me…

"We're both dolls - having no heart, no soul. We exist solely because we were made and for no other reason only… Just a novelty, really. Our existence has no true purpose."

"W-what? How can you say that? Of course you have a heart and a soul! Just as I do!"

He interrupted me. "No…we don't. People must wonder what a heartless and soulless creature is…but they don't realize that that's what we are. We're not human, we're not normal…and in a way…"

"…No…" I muttered, shaking my head.

Please…don't say it…

"…We're monsters…"

You're not normal!

Please…no! That…that doesn't mean you shouldn't love me…!

You're a monster!

Mom…dad…?!

"Are you okay?" he rang out, dissolving memories of when I was alive into nothing…

Apparently, I had clutched my ears, trying to block out everything I could…but…

"I…you know…even though we are what we are…doesn't mean our pointless existence has to be spent alone. No matter who or what you are, if you have someone beside you, you can go through anything. I…I have you," he said, barely above a whisper.

"And I…" I muttered, "…have you." I found it interesting (to say the least) how easily the words slipped out… I know I should have hated him for saying what he did and bringing those memories back…but actually… I must be insane for feeling this way, but it made me like him even more and it solidified what was only just a hunch - a bond between us. It was true; as much as I hated to say it, it was true.

We're the same.

That night, I had a short revelation of my feelings… No matter what we say or do to each other that hurts, we'll always have a bond that cannot be broken. And…I had the strangest feeling that even if we were separated by something as catastrophic as death…we would always find our way back to each other… It was odd…because in a way, I knew our relationship would bring pain…

…But…only because we're drowning in a collection of each other.

Chapter End

Ending notes: Now, I'm certainly no expert on pop culture (seeing as how I just don't care ^^;), but I think it's Nelly (I probably spelled that wrong…) who wore/wears a band-aid… I'm probably very off, though… Oh…and…ah…Hisoka's "memories" of when he was alive are probably very inaccurate… I know his parents called him "not normal" and stuff…but as usual, I was too lazy to look it up exactly… And…ah…yeah, this chapter's an odd one. Very odd, but I think I foreshadowed myself to death… I have this feeling (^_^) that this chapter isn't exactly "grammatically correct."