Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Nothing If Not By Your Side ❯ No longer a boy ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

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A drop of water would sound like a downpour if one dared to fall within the tiny bedroom, for no sound save shallow, uncertain breathing, fills the suffocating space.

Hisoka stands stark naked in the middle of his room, walking hesitantly towards the mirror on his closet door. Bright, green eyes remain shut as he approaches, feeling his way with small steps forward, until at last he knows he is right in front of the mirror, with his reflection waiting to be seen.

He opens his eyes...but where has he gone? Who is this figure staring back?

Long strands of blonde hair hang just past his shoulders, emerald eyes gaze into him, devoid of their once rounded shape, breathtaking features, still his own and yet more refined with experience and maturity, look on in sheer awe, and his body...is far from that of a sixteen-year-old boy.

Lean and well-muscled, Hisoka's chest has become broader, his arms more toned, as well as his powerful legs, and everything presents the image of an incredibly beautiful man in his early 20's, admiring what fate, luck, and the diligence of a good friend, has awarded him.

The first sensation Hisoka feels is one urging him to smile, laugh, shout for joy. But he can't. The reflection before him is more than he expected it to be. It holds something he hoped he would be able to avoid facing ever again: his family.

Hisoka looks exactly like his father.

(I knew it would come out like this. I knew it...) the dejected young man pines, ripping his gaze from the mirror. He sluggishly returns to the bed, sinking down on the edge of the mattress. (I shouldn't be upset. It worked. I grew up. Everything is different now, and it's not as if I look...bad. But...to look like *him*. I always have, in my own way, but I can see it so much clearer now that I'm not a little boy anymore.)

Leaning down to pick up the suitcase, Hisoka places it beside him on the bed, opening it to rummage through the clothes as he attempts to ignore the down-side in growing up, and focuses on the achievement in gaining something he has always wanted.

(I guess it's just one more thing I'll never truly escape.)

Packed neatly in the bag Watari had given him, there are a few pairs of boxers and briefs, a couple pair of pants in black and grey, a pair of jeans, and a handful of differently styled shirts. All in all, not a bad bundle for getting started on his new wardrobe. And after a fleeting glance at his old clothes still crumpled on the floor, he is certain he's going to need one.

Choosing a pair of red boxers, black slacks, and a lime green, button-down shirt that complements his eyes unbelievably, Hisoka begins to get dressed. The process is a bit awkward at first, considering he still isn't familiar with using such long arms and legs. Not to mention the change in weight he has to get used to maneuvering, which is quite a bit more difficult for him than it would be for someone who had grown into such a body normally.

Finally, retrieving a pair of tennis shoes from the bottom of the suitcase, Hisoka and his new look are ready for an evening of exploration. Before he forgets, though, he has to call Watari and tell him how things went.

"Moshi-moshi! Watari Yutaka speaking."

"Kombanwa, Watari-san. I have some good news for you." Hisoka begins, sitting on the edge of his bed again with the phone put up to his ear.

Even dialing had been a new experience with such large hands to utilize, and Hisoka surprises himself at how much the corners of his mouth long to stretch into a smile.

"Eh? Dare desu, ka? Do I know you?"

"Nani? Of course you know me! It's Kurosaki. Kurosaki Hisoka."

"Bon? This is *you*?" the scientist erupts, sounding suddenly very excited and alert. "I didn't recognize your voice. Sugoi! That means the potion was a success, ne? You sound so much older."

"I do?" Hisoka questions in reply. Truthfully, he hadn't even noticed, but now that the difference in pitch has been pointed out, he can easily hear it. Though his voice still sounds like his own, it has dropped a few degrees lower. "This is incredible. Everything turned out just as I hoped it would, and once the room stopped spinning, I felt perfectly fine. The only problem was...errr...nevermind."

"Nan desu, ka?" prompts Watari immediately, dripping with concern. "If something is wrong, you must tell me right away. Don't think you can take any of this lightly, Bon. You've aged a good seven years in just a few minutes."

Crinkling his brow, Hisoka instantly regrets even bringing it up. "Nothing is wrong. I feel fine. Better than fine, actually. It just unnerved me a little at how much I resemble my...father...that's all."

Watari offers a confirming grunt of understanding, but since the matter isn't one that affects the achievement of his potion, he leaves the matter where it stands.

Following a few grueling questions on what Hisoka went through and what changes he has undergone, the ecstatic scientist finally consents to hanging up, but only after insisting that he come over at once to see the outcome of his experiment for himself.

Meaning, despite how much he wants to leave, Hisoka isn't going anywhere.

(I'm stuck here till Watari comes.) he grumbles internally, falling back on his bed, and taking little note to how much smaller it has become. (This is so frustrating! I just want to get out of here...)

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Hisoka jolts back up again, surprised by this unexpected intrusion. It seems Watari is even more excited than he had realized. No one could get from the basement to Hisoka's apartment *this* fast. The overjoyed scientist must have sprinted the entire way.

Rising from the bed, Hisoka makes his way over to the door and opens it unenthusiastically, praying that he will be able to get rid of Watari as soon as possible. The night is still young, and he'd very much like it stay that way long enough for him to enjoy it.

"How fast did you walk, Watari-san?" Hisoka starts in as he pulls the door open. "I just hung up a few...minutes..." and then the suddenly petrified young man trails off, staring wide-eyed at this unforeseen visitor standing outside his door.

It is not Watari who is looking back at him from the hallway.

"Ahh...Tsuzuki..."

"Dare...?" the violet-eyed shinigami breathes in reply, looking Hisoka over with a scrutinizing gaze. He is dressed in his usual dark suit, with his hair falling adorably into his eyes. "Where is Hisoka?"

Though Hisoka is indeed the young man standing before Tsuzuki now, the poor boy can't find the words with which to defend himself or explain. "Uhh...I..."

"What have you done to Hisoka?!"

Charging forward, Tsuzuki rushes into the room, backing Hisoka against the side wall with twisted features and blazing irises searing through him.

Hisoka is terrified. What should he do? Even if he had the strength to tell Tsuzuki the truth, there's no way to be sure the older man would believe him. And all intents and purposes aside, he doesn't have a voice to speak the truth with.

In all the years Hisoka has known his partner, Tsuzuki has never looked so frightening, and the surge of dark emotion pulsing between them is like nothing the boy has ever felt before. This new body of his is more than just a grown up shell. It has increased his susceptibility to others' feelings, and Tsuzuki always feels everything to its fullest.

This is not at all how Hisoka imagined their first encounter would be.

"Tell me! What have you done to my Hisoka!?!" Tsuzuki roars, and the lamp on the nightstand beside them suddenly shatters into a million tiny fragments. Oh, how powerful the experienced shinigami can prove to be when given a reason.

"I...I..."

"Tsuzuki-san, what are you doing?"

Release. All of Hisoka's fear drains away at the sound of this new voice disrupting the tension. Perfectly timed, Watari has at last joined them in Hisoka's bedroom.

"I see you've met the new Kurosaki-kun. Rather impressive, ne?" the good-natured blonde comments to Tsuzuki casually, coming up beside the two from the open doorway.

Tsuzuki looks to Watari questioningly, his eyes widening much as Hisoka's had, and when he turns back to the pinned young man in front of him, he suddenly releases him and backs away, as if burned by the contact of their skin.

Shivering almost uncontrollably, Hisoka wraps his arms tightly around his body, straying his gaze from the intent need for understanding that is written over Tsuzuki's features. The aftereffect of the older man's surging emotions is stubbornly lingering in his mind and aching in his chest. Tsuzuki had been filled with so much anger and worry in such a short amount of time. It's unbearable.

"Hisoka...?" Tsuzuki whispers, paling blank and shameful for what he had done.

"Hai, Hai. It's amazing how much he has changed." Watari breaks in, moving in close to examine Hisoka's new form. However, Hisoka instinctively flinches away from him. "Calm down, Bon. I have to check if you're all right. We can't have any setbacks, now, can we? I want to make sure you're safe before I let you run off on your own like this."

Resentfully, Hisoka gives in, dropping his hands back to his sides, and allowing Watari to inspect him. With a small device resembling a reading light, the eager scientist examines Hisoka thoroughly; looking in his eyes and ears, listening to his heartbeat and breathing, checking reflexes and responses, and basically doing everything he feels necessary before admitting success. Finally, when Watari appears to be satisfied, he steps back, nodding in approval.

"Subarashii! You're exquisite!" he exclaims, placing his tiny flashlight back inside his coat pocket. "Everything is working normally, and you are in perfect health for someone your age. Your *new* age, that is. I'm so proud!"

Hisoka nods impassively, keeping his eyes trained on the fibers of the carpet. He can feel Tsuzuki watching him. It is more than just the sensation of knowing someone is looking at him, the way it would be for anyone else. For Hisoka, it is truly *feeling* the other person's gaze, as if the contact of their eyes upon him is a tangible act, one that makes the hair on his arms stand on end.

Noticing the friction between his two friends, Watari mumbles something about having somewhere else to be, moving back towards the door, and reassuring Hisoka that the potion is permanent. As long as he doesn't choose to reverse the spell, he can expect to be eternally a young man rather than eternally a little boy.

Vaguely, Hisoka is aware of his voice offering gratitude to Watari's retreating form, but his heart really isn't in it. His heart really doesn't know what it should be feeling right now.

"Hisoka...wakarimasen. Why did you...?"

"Why do you think!?" Hisoka snaps back, before his companion can even finish the thought, and flicking his eyes up from the floor with furious intensity. "I didn't want to be sixteen forever. I never have. You should be able to understand that."

"Hai, I do. Of course I do. I'm just a little...confused." the brunette answers warily. His expression is purely heartbreaking, with every ounce of his focus buried in Hisoka. Unable to keep himself from tracing the outline of the young man's new body, his violet eyes are positively penetrating. "I can't believe you would do something like this without telling me. We're partners, ne? Don't you trust me?"

Tossing his arms in the air in exasperation, Hisoka pushes past Tsuzuki to the other side of the room, scowling darkly. "Baka! You're such a pain! Just because we're partners doesn't mean we have to tell each other everything."

"I know, 'Soka. But...it's not as if you went to the library for an hour without telling me where you were going. This is big. This is important. I thought...with something like this...you would want to share it with me."

Hisoka clenches his eyes shut, wishing his oncoming headache away. Though he is facing with his back to Tsuzuki now, he can still sense the older man's eyes bearing down on him. Even the hurt in Tsuzuki's voice is like sandpaper against his skin.

Uncertain how he should reply, how he even can, Hisoka remains silent and willfully aloof. Remarkably, his body seems to be obeying him in his request for peace of mind. His headache is being held at bay, and Tsuzuki's emotions have reduced to a soft din in the distance.

This new body truly is astounding.

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki begins again, advancing on his partner from behind. "Gomen nasai. For how I reacted before Watari came in, and for being so harsh now. I just wish...I wish you could be honest with me."

Spinning on his heals, Hisoka has had enough, whether the newfound control over his powers is aiding him or not. "Stop looking at me like that!" he cries, facing Tsuzuki head on, and catching the older man by surprise. "And stop acting like I owe you an explanation for everything I do! I didn't tell you because I knew you'd make a big deal over it. This is mine! Something I wanted just for me, for my own reasons. Can't that be enough for you?"

"Don't be mean, 'Soka. I'm not mad at you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just worry about you. You're my partner. We have to protect each other, ne?"

For a moment, every spec of smoldering emotion within Hisoka boils up to the surface, prepared to fire back at Tsuzuki without mercy. But just as swiftly as it arises, the feelings simmer down and become calmed.

Tsuzuki is only trying to be a friend. He's trying to prove to Hisoka that he will always be there for him. It really isn't fair to get angry over someone's good intentions.

Sighing defeatedly and casting his gaze sheepishly down, Hisoka regrets his outburst, but the feel of Tsuzuki's eyes looking him over still unnerves him. Even though he doesn't really understand why.

"Baka." Hisoka breathes softly. "Protect each other? You're just a foolish romantic."

Thankfully, the sound that answers is the glorious ringing of Tsuzuki's laughter. It draws Hisoka's gaze back up again, and plays in his ears differently than it used to. The sound of it is pure joy and honest emotion, always seeming so impossible to come from a man who has experienced so many horrors.

Once upon a dark and dreary time it had the power to make Hisoka uncomfortable, even angry, but tonight it is the most beautiful thing he has ever heard.

"Ah, 'Soka, you're still the same you, even with a different face. Iie, you don't look all that different, just older, I guess, and taller, too."

"That's what happens when you grow up, Baka."

Again that sweet laughter. "Hai, and you did a good job of it." Tsuzuki grins, easing back into his cheerful demeanor. It suits him so much better. "Hisoka, now that we aren't fighting anymore, can I make a suggestion?"

"Nan desu, ka?"

"Can we go out and celebrate?!"

"Nani?"

"Dozo, Hisoka! It would be so fun. We could go down to Earth. I'll take you out wherever you want. You're of age now, so it doesn't matter where or what you choose."

Hisoka is hesitant, eyeing the excitement on Tsuzuki's face with great caution. The boisterous shinigami has a tendency to come back in pretty rough shape after a night of "having fun". Then again, he has left it up to Hisoka to decide what they do, so the younger man does have some control over the matter.

Hmmm...what to do...?

"Are you sure Tatsumi-san wouldn't disapprove? I don't want you getting me into trouble." Hisoka questions, trying his hardest not to sound too excited about going, even if excited is exactly how he feels. The reply he receives is a vigorous nod from his partner, urging him to give his consent. "In that case, I suppose it wouldn't do too much harm. I need to start getting used to all this, anyway."

"Arigato, Hisoka! I'm so happy! I promise you nothing but fun tonight."

Oddly enough, Hisoka believes him, and he is actually looking forward to what tonight may bring. As a cynical boy trapped in such a young body for so long, he could always find reasons to remain disgruntled while Tsuzuki had fun. But now that they are truly on equal ground, perhaps he can break from the habit.

Making their way out of Meifu and into the big, bad world, Hisoka and Tsuzuki speak surprisingly little to each other. After all, both have quite a bit on their minds. Hisoka's senses are overrun by experiences holding just enough difference to excite him like a newborn child. And Tsuzuki? His senses are pretty overrun, too.

(Kirei na...) the brunette ponders secretly, guarding his thoughts as best he can from his partner's adept gift. (Where did my little Hisoka go? He's quite the bishounen now. Still with that pretty face, but all grown up. I don't really see him differently, but then I do, and it takes me by surprise. Hmm. I hope you let yourself have fun tonight, 'Soka, but I promise I'll do my best to help you.)


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Hazzah! 3 parts down! Hope you're still intrigued. I'm loving the reviews so far, and also how the story is progressing. Next comes the boys' night out, so keep reading and REVIEWING, minna. Ja!