Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Painful Lessons ❯ Where Are You? ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei, though I wish I did... Then I woulda thrown Tsubaki-hime overboard at the beginning, an important kiss scene would have been added, and I would never have allowed them to butcher it with a dub. However, I do not own it...

Note: This is my first fan fic ever! Soka-chan (my friend!) asked about a `what if' story from Yami no Matsuei, so I told her that I'd write one! In the first episode of the Kyoto arc, what would have happened had Tsuzuki not shown up to save Hisoka from Muraki?

Sorry about the wait... Our favourite sweet toothed shinigami finally makes his appearance! I know you were all wondering about his whereabouts... And the answer to what seems a very popular question: Who has taken our dear Hisoka-kun? Thank you all again for reading and reviewing! And more reviews are loved, one can never have too many! Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Warnings: Well, being YnM, obviously shounen-ai and yaoi... O.o If you don't like it, why are you looking at Yami no Matsuei? Well, if you made it this far, I assume you know what you're getting yourselves into...

 

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Glancing at the clock anxiously, Tsuzuki continued his impatient pacing around the small hotel room. Only three minutes had passed since the last time he had checked, but it might as well have been three days. It had to have been hours since Hisoka had left to pick up some dinner... As if on cue, his stomach gave an annoyed grumble in an effort to remind the man it was empty. Frowning, Tsuzuki wandered towards the grubby looking window, hoping for some sign of his sandy haired partner.

Which grocery store had he gone to? There were a couple that were fairly close by, so why was he taking so long? Had he not known what Hisoka's reaction would be, Tsuzuki would have gone to look for him earlier. Being called a `baka' wasn't anything new to the man, and he'd rather suffer the verbal abuse and know that the younger shinigami was alright. But, he also remembered the reason behind the irritation that his constant meddling caused Hisoka. Perhaps he could take care of himself...

The soft clicking of computer keys could be heard as Watari continued to work away at his laptop. Or at least, pretend to work. Hidden by the flat screen, the scientist watched the other man's agitated wandering with an amused expression, his mischievous gold eyes twinkling behind the round lenses of his glasses. So it seemed Tsuzuki really did worry about the kid... As the corners of his lips turned up to form their quirky smile, he had to hold back a laugh; he actually found Tsuzuki's motherly worrying to be quite cute.

Running his fingers through his long blonde locks, Watari once again returned his focus to the flickering computer screen in front of him. The serious face of Muraki Kazutaka glared back at him from the photograph, his cold eyes almost as disturbing in the picture as they were in person. As he glanced over the twisted doctor's file, Watari had to admit, he too had begun to wonder... Just where had their youngest companion gotten to? Perhaps Tsuzuki was right to be worried, especially if Doctor Muraki was in fact behind the recent string of murders.

Rising to his feet, Watari slowly brought his hands up above his head and stretched his tired back, his aching bones creaking as he did. At the sound, Tsuzuki glanced over his shoulder, trying to offer the blonde a friendly smile. However, it was easy to tell that the expression was forced, and even easier to see the nervousness behind those violet eyes. It was painful for Watari just to watch.

Pulling on his long white lab coat, Watari bounded energetically across the room before sliding to a halt next to the other man. Slapping a hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder reassuringly, he wore the same bright expression he always had when he'd come up with another `brilliant' idea.

“How about we go find Bon? He probably couldn't choose what to buy from that floor length list of food options you left him,” Watari proclaimed, trying to sound cheerful as he squeezed Tsuzuki's shoulder gently. The scientist didn't want to sound worried, as he knew it would only make the other even more tense. But Hisoka had been gone for quite a while... Then again, Watari also didn't want to interfere too much, as the boy seemed to be easily offended by such `helpful' intrusions. He could understand where the kid was coming from... Hisoka just wanted to prove he could take care of himself.

The amethyst eyed shinigami nodded slowly, feeling the worry subside slightly. It really wasn't like Hisoka to take so long; it was usually he who was rushing Tsuzuki! Pulling his own dark coat around his shoulders, Tsuzuki headed for the door trying to feign his usual bouncy attitude. And failing miserably.

*******

`Operation: Search for Hisoka' was headed (and named) by Watari. The blonde led the way down the darkened streets, looking this way and that as his steps echoed in the late night silence. The moon was hiding behind a thick blanket of grey clouds; any light it offered being swallowed before it could reach the city below. Perhaps if the two men had seen its ominous red glow, they would have hurried their search. But it was invisible to them, and the shinigami continued their hunt completely oblivious to the danger it foretold. Now, the only illumination came from the flickering street lamps, their dull glow casting strange twisted shadows on the aged buildings that lined the road.

Gloomily following Watari, Tsuzuki's puppy-like ears drooped pathetically. They had been searching for what felt like forever... without any success. Such defeats always managed to bring the shinigami down, and this time, he didn't even have Hisoka to snap at him and make him keep going. With an exhausted sigh, the brunette turned his head to look down yet another shadowed side street. Would Hisoka be there? Or maybe some sign of him...? But no... `Where are you, Hisoka?'

Watari could tell Tsuzuki was becoming disheartened just from his slow stride, but they had to keep looking. They had already passed through a couple small grocers, though they had yet to find even a hint of Hisoka's presence. `Strange... Why did Bon walk so far away from the hotel just to get dinner?' The scatterbrained scientist pondered for a moment, trying to recall his knowledge of the city. There weren't that many stores in this area and they had already been by all but two of them. In a minute, they would pass the stairs that lead to the temple, and, if he remembered correctly, there was a small convenience store just a few minutes passed it. That would be the next stop on their search... Hopefully Bon would be there, continuing some frustrated search for dinner, unsure of what to buy and what was within Tatsumi's strict meal budget...

Had it been any other day, Tsuzuki would have been more than content to take a nighttime walk along the beautiful fall leaves. His eyes moved along the diverse foliage, taking in the variety of colors and shapes. It was true the cherry blossoms that were ever blooming in Meifu were beautiful, but Kyoto's multicolored leaves were a welcomed change of pace.

As he traced the path of one of the many falling leaves, Tsuzuki's curious gaze fell upon a large gap in the rows of trees. Within the large space, a large stone staircase climbed up the side of the hill, its broad steps littered with more of the dry, fallen leaves. Just as he opened his mouth to question Watari on their whereabouts, he spotted something dark against the grey stone. He would have dismissed it as just more leaves, had it not been for the strangely smudged stone below it. It was the darkest of stains which seemed to have poured down the top steps like water. But without the bright moonlight, it was hard to distinguish just what the liquid was. Frowning, Tsuzuki took another step forward, peering at the mysterious shadow curiously.

“Err... Watari?” Tsuzuki began, still squinting at the suspicious object. But before he finished his sentence, the heavy clouds shifted; their thick grey cover sliding smoothly out of the way to reveal the eerie scarlet moonlight. As the light washed over the world below, the shinigami looked up questioningly, curious as to the sudden, oddly hued light. It seemed awfully bright for the middle of the night... His amethyst eyes widened in a mixture of shock and horror at the sight that awaited him. `It couldn't be...' The red moon.

There was only one word Tsuzuki could think of, a name that unconsciously rolled off his tongue. “Muraki...” he spat, then snapped his attention back to the now illuminated steps. Another victim lay in the mysterious shadow's place, her blood staining the stone like a gruesome dried up riverbed. Clenching his teeth in anger, he looked at her lifeless form for a moment. As he looked, he then noticed that there were two trails of blood. One was obviously from the body, but the second appeared to have dripped from the grey stone landing. `Muraki must've killed her up there... That bastard... What the hell is he up to this time?'

His expression serious, Tsuzuki looked away from the stairs to see Watari kneeling on the ground. From what he could see of his face, the other shinigami looked unnaturally pale, sick almost. The sight of blood and death didn't usually bother the blonde, so why...? Watari then turned to face him and, as he got to his feet, he revealed his discovery. In one shaking hand, the scientist held a grocery bag full of food; it must have been discarded at the base of the steps... or dropped. It was probably the woman's, lost when Muraki had attacked her. Why was Watari so worried by... Tsuzuki thought that his heart had dropped to the bottoms his feet. That bag hadn't belonged to the victim. It was Hisoka's. Hisoka had been here, which meant that he'd met up with...

Before Watari could protest, Tsuzuki swung around and rushed up the stairs, his dark coat flaring around him wildly. `No... no... no...' Why hadn't he noticed it before? The second trail of blood was still spilling down the stairs, the pool on the step steadily growing... If Muraki had killed the woman up there, then it would have dried before the other had. He truly was a fool!

He kept his eyes trained on the crimson trail that had been left for him, coming ever closer to the landing. Hisoka was there, he had to be... What had Muraki done to him? Tsuzuki carelessly ran through the spilled blood as he climbed the final step, splashing the red liquid onto the cuff of his pant leg. It wasn't important. At this point, Hisoka was the only thing that mattered to him.

“Tsuzuki!” Watari cried after him, but the other man had already begun to ascend the blood splattered steps. Looking at the bag still held in his hand, the scientist knew he should go after the other shinigami. If anything had happened to Hisoka... Well, even he didn't know just what Tsuzuki would do. Dropping the plastic bag on the cement where he'd found it, Watari bounded after the amethyst eyed man as fast as he could manage. His knees felt as though they were made of rubber, making pursuit difficult. He'd already lost sight of Tsuzuki; it seemed he'd already made it to the landing. `Hang in there, Bon...' Hopefully they weren't too late.

*******

From the roof of the temple, the silent white figure waited to watch the drama that would soon unfold below him. Had anyone seen him, they might have mistaken him for an angel, sent to watch over the holy place on which he stood. The very thought of that comparison made Muraki want to laugh. Upon closer inspection, nothing about him was angelic. Even the purity of his white clothes had been spoiled; the ivory cloth had been further stained with blood before he'd left his poor little doll. An Angel of Death perhaps... that seemed a more fitting metaphor.

After leaving the boy, Muraki had retreated to his high perch, waiting patiently for his love to arrive. It was only a matter of time until the beautiful man would appear to save his annoying partner. Only this time, Tsuzuki-san would be too late. The twisted doctor sneered at the thought; it seemed he would have pleasure of seeing his earlier imaginations take shape. The look of horror and anger on Tsuzuki's face, the guilt burning in those lovely purple eyes. He had already played it over in his head several times.

As he kept watch, he thought maybe he would make an appearance when Tsuzuki arrived; perhaps suddenly slide out from the shadows as he did so well. The shinigami's rage would be unimaginable and the feeling of power emanating from the man would become so deliciously overwhelming. But then again, such an act would be extremely risky as well. Were the man to summon any of his shikigami... The smarter plan would be to watch from afar. After all, his and Tsuzuki's reunion would come soon enough.

“Soon, Tsuzuki-san...” Muraki said softly, “Soon, you too will be mine.”

*******

“... Hi- Hisoka...”

As he stood on the stony ledge of the landing, Tsuzuki felt what little color he had drain from his face. He felt like was paralyzed, as though the dreadful sight before him had robbed him of his ability to move...

There was blood everywhere; it was covering a large portion of the stone, soaking into the soft earth, drenching the grass, painting everything a horrid shade of red. Along with the unnatural crimson glow of the moon, it suddenly seemed as though the world were only made up of reds and shadowy blacks. And there, in the center of that gruesome colorless world, lay Hisoka.

For a moment, all Tsuzuki managed to do was stand there dumbly, staring at his partner's motionless form in disbelief. The boy's thin body had been stripped of its clothes; small frayed pieces of what had once been Hisoka's sweater appeared as dark spots in the sea of blood. More thick smears of dark substance stood out against his fair skin, but from his current position, Tsuzuki could not tell if they were actual wounds or simply where the scarlet liquid had been splattered.

Slowly moving forward, his cautious steps making soft ripples in the thick blood, Tsuzuki began to see the marks on Hisoka's abused body more clearly. The deep red marks he had thought were wounds revealed themselves to be thin scars; long intricate designs that wound their way up his arms and around his legs before finally working their way across the boy's torso. Tracing the precise path of the strange symbols with feelings of horror and morbid curiosity twisting in his mind, Tsuzuki suddenly heard an echo of Muraki's voice in his mind... A memory of something the doctor had told him in Nagasaki:

“A merciless way of killing wouldn't be fitting for the beautiful boy... I dragged the running boy to the ground and stripped him of his clothes, and carved the accursed words onto him...”

At the time the doctor said it, Tsuzuki hadn't given much thought about this statement; he had been too horrified by the other more intimate and heinous tortures Muraki had subjected the poor boy to. But now, he'd seen the damage for himself, and he could barely comprehend the pain that the boy had suffered through. That he now suffered again… all because of Tsuzuki. Had he only gone to find his partner sooner, Muraki wouldn't have caught Hisoka and…

Kneeling beside his fallen partner, the older shinigami was completely oblivious to the blood that was now seeping through the dark fabric of his pants, soaking the skin of his knee. The only thing that registered in his frantic mind was Hisoka, the image of his broken form, the light rising and falling of his chest, the blank look in his once lively emerald eyes… Reaching out a tentative hand, Tsuzuki longed to stroke his hair and tell him that it was only a nightmare, and that he was awake now and that everything was fine. To be able to comfort him and tell him none of it had been real. Even if it was a complete and utter lie.

With extreme care, Tsuzuki slowly slid his hands beneath Hisoka's slim form, gently lifting him from the hard, wet ground. Pulling the boy close to his own body, Tsuzuki looked at his partner's pale face dismayed; Hisoka's expression hadn't changed at all. He showed no sign of life, nor did he notice of Tsuzuki's presence. He looked completely empty; an expression Tsuzuki was far too familiar with.

Still clutching the boy to his chest protectively, the older man turned back towards the stone staircase and away from the gory mess that the doctor had left. He would take Hisoka back to their hotel; it was the best place for him at the moment, as it would be a quiet place for him to rest. At least there, Tsuzuki could look after him until he was better, without every shinigami in Meifu coming to visit and pester the poor boy. Tsuzuki could take care of his partner by himself. Shinigami healed quickly, right? Though even as the thought processed in his mind, Tsuzuki already knew better; this only held true for physical wounds. Even if the boy's body did recover… Would he ever be the same? Sad amethyst eyes looked at the frail being in his arms, his lips fixed in a frown. `Will he ever be Hisoka again?'

Tsuzuki was so lost in his own troubled thoughts that he didn't even notice Watari's arrival; instead, he walked passed him in silence, carefully making his way back down the steps. The blonde didn't pay any mind to it, but looked passed him to see what the brunette was walking away from. It only took the scientist one look at the blood stained landing to figure out what had occurred; it certainly explained the reasoning behind Tsuzuki's strange behaviour. `We were too late...'

*******

Dead green eyes looked skyward, unseeing. Hisoka could feel that he was being moved, but it was all so far away, almost as though it were happening to someone else. Was it that man again? Was he coming to hurt him more? Why couldn't he be left alone, left to die? And stay dead this time...

`Please... just let me go...' As hard as he tried to struggle against the arms that held him prisoner, he couldn't manage even a twitch. He was defenseless... or more accurately, useless.

Hisoka was so far gone, so lost inside himself, that he couldn't even tell that the person he was trying to escape was actually the person he wanted the most.

*******

This was all his fault. If he hadn't asked for all that stupid food… or if he had gone to look for Hisoka sooner, this wouldn't have happened. Hisoka wouldn't have met up with Muraki, he wouldn't be laying there in pain, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. `It's all my fault…' The words echoed in his mind, refusing to be ignored. `It's all my fault…'

Since they had returned to the hotel, Tsuzuki had flat out refused to leave the boy's side for any reason. He sat next to Hisoka's bed watching over his partner, as though waiting for someone to come and snatch him away.

Watari didn't need to be an empath to tell that guilt was threatening to swallow the amethyst eyed man whole, even if this wasn't his fault. The blonde had tried everything to convince Tsuzuki to take a break, or that perhaps they could take turns looking after Hisoka. He'd even tried to entice the man with sweets, but it was a futile attempt; Tsuzuki would not budge.

Minutes crawled by at an agonizingly slow pace, then hours. Unnoticed by the shinigami, the sky outside had faded, red light slowly creeping over the horizon. But inside the room, there was no change at all. Watari worked away on his computer, occasionally checking on the two in the other room. He'd tried sitting with Tsuzuki, but he felt almost awkward, as though he were intruding on something. The silence had become deafening, only broken by the occasional bird chirping outside.

Hisoka's condition hadn't changed either. He was still breathing, but that was all he was doing. Tsuzuki had continued his silent vigil throughout the night, not even taking the time to shed his bulky trench coat. In truth, he hadn't even noticed that he was still wearing the heavy garment... At least, not until he heard the muffled ring coming from his pocket. The tired shinigami let out a surprised yelp, the high pitched noise startling him back to reality. Without thinking, he shoved his hand in his pocket, his fingers groping blindly for the phone.

Finally, his hand reemerged with the annoying ringing device, its small screen lit up. `Unknown caller? Who...?'

For a moment, Tsuzuki considered just letting it ring; he really didn't feel in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment. But what if it was Kacho or Tatsumi...? They'd probably wonder what had happened to them... He thought that he'd told Watari to report in!

With a low sigh, Tsuzuki pressed the pick up button. “Hello?”

“Good morning, Tsuzuki-san. I trust you and the bouya slept well?”