Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Alone ❯ His Hands ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

ReviewerReplies:

dragonlady222: Thank you very much. It's because of people like you who review that I continue to write. If it weren't for you then I probably wouldn't have written this at all -sigh-

Hopefully the slow pace will go though xD I'm still trying to improve myself and all so yeah... Where I want this fic to go, it needs the slow pace x.x

***

This is one of the most important chapters… And unfortunately it is also the most atrociously written. (In my opinion ;.;) I wasn't able to portray all that I wanted to.

I haven't been able to write for a long time… (due to something that happened at ff.net…Don't ask. Just know that there were a few biased, rude assumptions and name calling made from some reviewers…)

But here goes. I thought an update had to be in order.

Enjoy the depressive angtsy shonen ai between Bakura and Ryou! (shonen ai—just not as explicit-- yet. Depressive because it is x.x)

“----” For flashbacking purposes—hopefully you won't get confused and all. (Italics)

Every time you see this, assume that it is about 24 hours back in the past. Or easily—yesterday, and then back to the present. X.x… All in all, I don't think this was a good way for me to write this—but it's my fic, so why the hell not? (It's so hard to read italics in times new roman font here on mm—I'm so sorry TT.TT)

***

Alone -By Annie Nguyen

Chapter Title: His Hands

I watched Ryou write the equations down with fluent movements. Not once did my eyes move from his hands. They mesmerised me, drawing my attention to every detail right down to the silver chained bracelet on his right hand and the blue ball point pen he was writing with. He didn't scrawl like Marik, but instead kept his slightly italic letters in perfect alignment with the next word. Even his numbers were kept in faultless symmetry, down to the little dash through his sevens.

Lifting his head he caught my staring and asked the accustomed question to why I was looking at him in such an eerie manner, “Is something the matter Bakura-Chan?”

“Nothing,” I replied before quickly adding as an appropriate afterthought, “I just really like your writing- It's pretty.”

Pretty? What the fuck?

“Thank you” voiced with a smile and he passed me the two sheets. “Okay, do these first,”

He paused thoughtfully before continuing, “Coppélia told me that you were failing your class…But even then, these shouldn't be of trouble,” Ryou touched the first sheet of equations.

“These on the other hand,” he gestured to the second sheet, “Are of your class' standards. Just try them so I can see what you need help on and what you don't- o-kei?” (0)

Quickly erasing my faint smile at the cute way he said “okay” I took out my mech pencil and began my first tutoring lesson.

----

Yesterday, the day before today of course, was Friday. It was also the day to when Coppélia had hugged me and announced that she would get tutoring lessons for me.

As always, school had gone by horridly normally. I had neither heart nor soul for it, and neither did Malik it seemed. Though it was a relief to find him too tired to actually run about proclaiming his love for the white substance—as in sugar, it was a shame too, because I'd needed some cheering up after the meeting with Ryou.

However, after consideration, what else would make me feel better, but to actually go see Ryou himself? This I decided would be best for me, and I had looked for him during the day. (Yes, I'm becoming quite stalker-like over the tenshi). Unfortunately, he was not in any other classes I was in apart from the one Art class. More so disappointing, I did not have Art today.

Lunch break was when I found him, in another weirdest of cases. It was Coppélia who told me where he was. On my way to the Senior courtyard I ran into her and her friends; Emmitt, who happens to be her best male friend, Kenneth- also male, and Xanth and Paige who are both female.

As always, Paige gave me a bit of a giggle and a “Hello Bakura-kun,” (her strange crush for me never ceases to faze) while Emmitt and Kenneth looked off elsewhere as per usual. Xanth, too, never seemed to notice of her surroundings and stayed close next to Kenneth. I continued my ignoring of Paige's existence-- who continued to giggle nonetheless-- and moved out of the way for them to go through.

Coppélia was the last of her group to pass, staying back simply to say, “Your lessons will start tomorrow at 3pm. I suggest you ask Ryou for his address…er…unless you already know that. Just in case, he's in the library.” A trademark smirk appeared and she left me to it.

----

Coming back to reality I went back to the equations. My mind is wandering too much…

I had expected there to be some challenge to the second sheet, but on contrary they were surprisingly easy. As was the third and fourth. By the fifth sheet Ryou became hesitant and like a becoming habit of my own, kept taking glances my way; and even though I was enjoying the new attention immensely, it was hard to concentrate on writing numbers when a blush would dangerously creep upon my features.

Steadying my voice to its normal pitch I echoed his last question. “Is something wrong Ryou? -Chan.” I added the suffix in politeness though doing so wasn't common with me.

“Ah! I didn't mean to stare,” He blushed and wrung his hands nervously, “It's just hard to believe that you even need help. Your standard in Maths is better then the class' recommendations; you are way above average and though not the top of the class, surely not failing. If anything, you don't need tutoring.”

When I did not reply he continued.

“You had every single problem correct, except for the odd silly mistakes here and there…”

“…”

“But they're nothing to be worried about Bakura-chan—you would probably notice them if you checked your answers… I don't mean to offend you or anything, if that's what you think.”

“…”

“Baku…Bakura-chan?”

My mind is wandering too much...

----

Library? I guess it was possible for Ryou to be there considering I had never thought of it before.

I frowned at the school library door, ignoring the blank stares from other students before taking a breath, and walking into the familiar room. The chance of Coppélia leading me astray was extremely likely- she'd done it before.

But no, I saw Ryou on a chair reading that same usual book, and plucking my courage I walked up to him, brushing past Kaiba on my way. (1)

Ryou looked up from his book and waved to me, gesturing yet again to the seat next to him.

“Hello Bakura! Nice to see you again,”

“Same to you,” I replied and was almost enticed to blurt out “I've always wanted to fuck in a library you know…” Dear lord… I think I'd die if I lost myself now.

And besides that, there was the matter to why he was upset this morning. I wouldn't push it from him, but as subtly as I could I would ask him of it. First thing first, did Coppélia really mean about getting me tutoring lessons?

“Oh! That reminds me—we need to make a time up for tutoring lessons. Coppélia suggested that we start right away. Um…and that tomorrow would be best, with any time after 3pm being appropriate for you. That's what she said though. I want to ask you first to make sure,”

“She's right-- Any time as long as it is in the afternoon and during the weekends is fine— and after 3pm.”

I've had my moments of sleeping in until about 2pm… (Which means Coppélia gave me an hour to get up and get ready? -Wait, no, she knows my morning times now? Creepy…) and during the nights I would be with Marik—but Ryou wasn't going to know that.

“Okay then. Tomorrow it is,” He smiled and placed his book back onto his lap, shocking me as his head rested upon my shoulder.

Silence soon followed and with my lack of sleep, I too found myself leaning against his head, closing my eyes to breathe his scent, only to quickly remove it away when Ryou himself moved.

“Nh… My apologies Bakura-chan. I'm just tired today is all,” And he yawned, all the while unknowingly ruffling his hair.

“Um…Ryou?”

“Un Bakura-chan?”

“Can I ask you a private question?”

“Of course, what is it?”

I paid my attention more to my hands then to anything else as the words left my mouth.

“I know I don't know you much and everything— but I was wondering. Um, well. Today, um, this morning, when I was walking by, I saw you and well…”

“Well yes… I saw you too Bakura-chan. That's why I called you over.”

“Um…yes, well.” I lifted my head to look at him, for any hint at all that maybe he knew what I was talking about and then maybe I wouldn't have to ask and seem nosy, when really I should mind my own business…

The hint of recognition came and Ryou's face was soon replaced with one of the saddest expressions thought possible on such as sweet face.

“Oh…”

It broke my heart to see him like this—well… sad. The life in his eyes was just…dead. No—dormant. I will find a way to bring him back, no matter the cause of his pain.

“I-I'm sorry Ryou. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you. I was just worried about you and-and. Oh I'm so sorry.” My hands shook as I touched his jacket sleeve. Why was I like this? I haven't felt so weak in such a long time. Not since my past capture at Trespassers Beware. Not since…Well. Not since my mother died in front of my eyes.

“I'm sorry…” Ryou whispered and flung himself into my chest, tears shaking his body.

----

“Bakura-chan!” A pink faced Ryou shouted—well, as loud as someone of his graciousness could raise his voice.

Snapping yet again out of my thoughts I unintentionally dropped my mech pencil and nervously ran the same hand instead through my hair. “Oh gawd Ryou. I'm sorry—my mind is wandering.”

“I noticed,” He laughed and flopped back down on the couch. “I've been shouting at you for the past five minutes! Frightened me to bits…I thought you might have been offended with what I said or had a mind freeze attack or something…”

“Offended? No, not at all,” I frowned and picked up my pencil again, “And it wasn't that long was it?”

“No—but it was long enough,”

“Hm…”

Ryou groaned and buried his head into a cushion, “Well?”

“Well what?”

Ryou is absolutely adorable when aggravated by the way. Seeing him opening himself up—being more than just that overly cute acquaintance… These tutoring lessons were starting to pay off.

“Wahh…Don't tell me you've forgotten what I just asked?”

“Regrettably I do believe I have.” Laughing I threw a fallen cushion at him.

“NH!” Ryou grunted somewhat and flopped back down next to me beside his desk.

His room was huge! It had everything—a bed, a desk, a TV…usual things, a walk in wardrobe, a joint bathroom, a Playstation plus an XBOX (hm…interesting), DVD player, a computer complete with cam/scanner/printer/etc. etc. (even a laptop next to it), an unpacked DDR dance mat; a couch, a massive oak bookshelf with many other smaller ones, gawd knows how many CD racks, a CD player; a couple of art related things, and my word there's even a mini fridge in the corner, gawd knows what that would be of use for apart from adding to one's idleness;

A Medieval styled fireplace complete with a gorgeous black mantelpiece complimented with the typical Fabergé egg; a black iron trunk at the foot of his bed (wonder what's in there…kinky…), an impressive telescope, a massive rug with a weaving of a gorgeous night sky and fairies decorating the grass and trees from the bottom, and well of course, nothing would be complete without the various statues of medieval witches and warlocks and dragons and that one out of place teddy bear—and still with space to spare.

Oh—Did I forget to mention that his bed was a double sized queen bed and his desk was a massive oak, Victorian styled and carved to profession? And that his whole house is Victorian designed except for his room which was mainly Medieval with a Gargoyle guarding the door?

And that Loom with an unfinished weaving threaded through left seemingly forgotten in its corner, and the two violin (or guitar?) cases and a music stand and amps and another instrument that looked like a an ultra long violin…

My gawd. He had my dream room—without the Fabergé egg and that weird looking violin… and perhaps with some assorted vampiric and satanic things…Sexually related. And with Ryou tied to the bed of course and wearing next to nothing but a-

“BAKURA-CHAN!” A red faced Ryou squeaked.

“Oh my gawd I'm sorry. My mind is wandering-…”

“NH! I know, I know,” His voice managed to contain a whine before exasperated he asked for the third time. “From what I can tell you don't need help with maths at all. So why did Coppélia ask me to give you tutoring lessons? It's also strange that you're failing the class.”

Shaking my head of the wide smile on my face at his frustration (gawd damn my borderline sadist-ness) I finally answered him.

“It's just that, well, I've never bothered to actually pick up my pencil and write before. But because you asked me to, I did. In a way, I need something to push me, motivate me, to actually bother. Maths is just so…boring.”

It was so natural. I never thought they'd come a day to when my nervousness around Ryou would just disappear.

He laughed and charged at me with a hug, burying his face against my chest like he had the other day.

Oh well…then again…

With the same enthusiasm I wrapped my arms back around him, burying my face against his hair to hide the massive blush.

----

“I'm sorry…I'm so sorry!” Ryou twisted his fingers into my white shirt, the fabric already soaked with his tears.

“Shh…It's okay,” I hushed him into hiccupping instead and deciding that crying in a library in public view was not a suitable place for doing so, walked him to the toiletries so he could wash his face.

We remained in silence as he splashed his face with the cold water, though his hiccupping could still be heard. I noticed that he refused to look up at his reflection though. Just like a habit of my own, he winced every time he would accidentally look up at it.

In the past, when I found myself in a weak state—such as crying…Whenever I went to wash my face, I would always refuse to see myself. Seeing myself in such a weak state made me feel like, well, shit… I could at least save myself the humiliation by at least not looking. Assuming this is the same thing for Ryou, he must hate to feel like this too then.

Even though in the latter years I have managed to grow up with the support of Isis and Mariku and Malik… I never really had the experience of being in this situation before. Considering I missed a whole lot of the education I needed, I had received home schooling instead; and so being in contact with other students really only came about when I started high school.

I hadn't the familiarity for well… “What to do in a situation where a person is crying,” except for of course in books.

So awkwardly I wrapped my arms around and rubbed his shoulders. He choked another sob before giving up, pushed his face into my chest to cry again.

I couldn't help but blush and embrace him back. What could have done this to him?

“B-Bakura…” Ryou whispered against my neck, a shiver shook my body against my will at his touch.

“Yeah Ryou?” I croaked.

The door opened and a student came into the bathroom, taking a glance at us before walking to the urinals.

Ryou hiccupped again and mustering his strength managed to whisper a “let's go outside”… At least my ignorance didn't simple-mind me from at least knowing that two males crying in a bathroom was not considered normal… and so I nodded and took him outside.

And at least he didn't ask to go into one of the cubicles…

A couple of minutes later and we were sitting on the benches just under some trees in the courtyard. Silence passed between us. I wondered if he would say something first…Perhaps explain of his situation so that maybe I could help him. Oh fuck, I am nosy.

I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know him, to feel with him. To actually…well…know him. Know why I feel so fuzzy around him, and why I couldn't help but love him even though I barely knew him. And why it was that I first stopped at his house, that month ago.

Was it because he was the vision of my mother? If it is then I shouldn't…But it's not, so it's okay.

It's okay.

And why it was that he first stopped me. He could have just let me keep walking by like as always—but he didn't.

Or was it because he was lonely and needed a friend at a new school?

And why it is that my thoughts are always plagued with images of him, of him and his hands.

And why it is that I am so utterly fascinated with his hands, and the way they run across his long hair as he brushes them aside from his face, or when he rubs his sad, tear strained eyes, or when he paints or writes…

Or when he bites on the tips of them when nervous, like he is now.

And like when he bites on the bottom of his lip as his hands reach over to tug at my shirt sleeve—like they are now.

And when he blushes as I lean in.

And when…And when…

He looked down slowly, tears running down his face.

Ryou…

“…I'm sorry…for crying…I don't want you to see me like this,” He choked an apology and once again his face disappeared against my chest.

“I detest people seeing me like this—a wreck—you know? I don't want you to see me like this Ba-Bakura,”

Apathetically filled with sorrow for him, I wrapped my arms tighter around his lithe form.

“It's fine Ryou. And don't think you're weak…You're not at all,”

He shook his head quickly. “N-No. I don't think crying is weak at all. It-It's just that I don't want you to see me like this. It makes me feel miserable and terrible as a person to let you have to go through all this,”

“I thought you didn't want to look at your reflection, earlier in the toilets, because you didn't want to see yourself like this though…”

Fuck. Bad Bakura, very bad! What kind of a caring person are you? You're meant to be making him feel better not lecturingand questioning him. Note to self: Kill my conscience later.

Ryou shook his head quickly. “I didn't want to look up, because I didn't want to see the look of disgust on your face… I'm supposed to be a male for Christ's sake!” And he erupted into sobs again.

I think that—Christ—is the closest thing to a swearing Ryou that we'll get. Actually, it's very cute.

I brushed Ryou's hair out of his face for him. “I don't think that about you Ryou—not at all! You just cry all you need to okay? I like you just as you are…”

“You're a good friend,” I added quickly (just in case) and smiled for him, enchanted when he smiled back—a real smile.

“Thank you…” And we sat like that, arms wrapped around the other, until the bell for the end of lunch rang.

Even though I never found out why he was upset, it didn't matter, as long as I knew he would be okay.

----

“Bakura-chaaaaan!” Ryou squeaked as I managed to hit him with a cushion. “That huuuurt!”

“Alright, alright. No need to whine about it,” I laughed, as he feigned misery, before succumbing to his act and helping him up. “Fine…I'm sorry Ryou-chan,”

Perking up instantly he threw his arms around me, managing to overthrow my balance and as a result I fell backwards onto the carpet, with Ryou somehow magically on top.

“I win!” Ryou purred—unintentionally or not, I'm not quite sure—paying no attention to the awkward position we were currently in.

Of course, I on the other hand could not help but blush, and for the first time Ryou noticed it.

“Eh?” he blinked and looked more closely at my flushed cheeks, “Why are you blushing?”

“…”

He giggled and slowly traced his finger down my chest. My eyes widened in response, mouth agape at his taunt.

Wait… Ryou was taunting me?!?

“Is it because…” Voice almost a whisper he pressed his face against the side of my neck.

My heart pounded in my chest as Ryou's hands slithered down my chest, making there way ever so slowly to my stomach whilst still lying on top of me, and…and…

“Because…” His lips pressed against my neck, my breath uneven.

“Is it because…” Ryou repeated again, his hands stroking the length of my stomach, my head tilted back at the anticipation of his words and his embrace.

“Because you're attracted to me… Bakura-sama?” I shivered at the sound of his voice. Ryou grinned seductively at the last comment, his lips twitching slightly like as if he was about to laugh.

But I didn't notice as tingling sensations shuddered throughout my body. I gasped loudly, twisting my form in a frantic effort to rid myself of the addictive, euphoric angel above me, as Ryou's lips feathered the side of my neck, my oh so very, very sensitive neck, gently with his little kisses. Teasing me into an almost surrender—almost.

It was at the very last second of my bliss that I noticed his smile turning into the beginning of a laugh, a laugh to which he was trying his very best to hide.

He was…he was playing me…?

Unbelievingly I watched the events take into play. My heart drummed in time with my quick breaths, the sound of it deaf in my ears as all I heard was him.

And my heart fell into pieces upon the floor, scattered amongst the fairies on the rug, as the giggle came from his lips. His hands flew from my body and covered his mouth as the giggle turned into a laugh, and the warmth of his body left me completely as Ryou fell onto his side… laughing, at, me.

Ryou is laughing at me. Ryou finds it humorous that I like him. Ryou is laughing at me.

Cold…So very, very cold…

His hands…

His hands are so, very, cold.

***

(0) “o-kei” is pronounced like a short form of “okay”. Instead of saying the long vowel `o', you pronounce it as the short `o' without the `h' consonant; and instead of the long syllable `kay' you pronounce it as `ke' with a little `i' at the end if it even make sense. In other words…really cute xD

(1) Kaiba—will be very important to this whole story—eventually. Most probably in the next chapter.

Ahhh… I'm sorry I left you at such a horrible, HORRIBLE cliff-hanger. I promise you that Ryou isn't playing him though—not knowingly anyways. But that comes next chapter…If I can get to that. Gomen nasai! -bows- TT.TT

I have school again here and so I'll barely have time to update. But meanwhile I will be revising and attempting other fics, particularly a Once in a Year sequel and a Twelve Kingdoms one (watch it—it's a good anime even without an ending x.x Gawd you gotta hate that).

Things have changed… My inspiration for writing has changed. And my reason now is to just write. Please don't let me lose this… Reviews keep me knowing that at least someone reads. Until next time I will be musing over whether -this- really is for me.

Ja ne for now--- Annie.