Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story ❯ Day Four: Heaven on Earth ( Chapter 15 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kiokukaiba 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.14.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 370 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.14.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 370 | Status: Work In Progress
Behind Blue Eyes: Seto’s Story
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Disclaimer: Yuugiou belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. (Did I even spell that right?)
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Recap:
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was. . . was. . .
. . . like I was falling in love.
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I made contact with my favorite driver, Saehara, and ordered him to pick Katsuya and I up. He brought the Mercedes, the perfect vehicle for traveling with both style and class. . . I guess. Why was my heart beating so quickly? I felt so. . . excited for some reason. I didn’t understand, but why understand something that doesn’t need to be understood? Great, now I’m confusing myself. . .
We were chauffeured to the lively side of town. It was already six by that time and so darkness was quickly approaching. Neon signs were illuminated on either side of the street. It felt good to finally get out and do something. . . and have someone to do things with. Now, by things I don’t mean ‘things’, I really do mean just things.
As we approached the hottest club in town, I glanced down at myself to make sure that I looked alright, only to find myself staring at something awful. All of this and we were still in our school uniforms! That would look really good. I could see it now, “Uh, yes sir, we’re over 21, we’re just wearing high school uniforms because, uh. . . we find them sexy. . . yeah, that’s it, they’re sexy!” Something told me that wouldn’t go over too well.
“Ah shit. . .” I muttered, upon noticing, “Saehara, drive us to Jounouchi’s apartment.” I had to watch myself to make sure that ‘Jounouchi’ left my lips instead of ‘Katsuya’. Left my lips? If that didn’t sound dirty. . .
“I thought we were going out to drink.” Oh, I probably should have explained myself to the blond before giving such a sudden order to my driver.
I turned to my right, where he sat, “We are, but there is nothing cool about a high school uniform.” I made a face at him and then leaned against the window, my hair falling into my eyes.
The setting sun was beautiful, it’s brilliant golden glow bending down to kiss the skyline. Sometimes I would sit on my bedroom balcony back at my house and just watch it for a long while. The most peaceful times of day, in my opinion, were sunrise and sunset. Everything else seemed like it could wait while I watched those two magnificent events. Who could think of anything awful about either? The sun was actually quite. . . romantic, if I dare say so.
I snuck a peak at Katsuya out of the corner of my eye. Was he staring at me again? He did that so much. Did he have a crush on me or something? Maybe. . . no, I was just getting my hopes up. Hopes? I wanted him to have a crush on me? Yeah, I suppose I did. . . I do. . .
The ride to his apartment was a short one, which I was very thankful for since I found it difficult to keep my eyes open during the entirety of the trip. It took him longer than usual to open the door. He fumbled like a pathetic boy going on his first date. Date? Why on Earth did such things keep popping into my head? Now that I thought about it, I had a really funny feeling in my stomach. . .
We went back to his room to pick out what we would wear. I hadn’t really packed anything for the occasion, but Jou said that I looked good in anything. . . not that his opinion mattered. Well, maybe it did. . . just a little. It was always good to have an opinion, right? Right.
While Jounouchi fished through his various drawers for what would hopefully be a decent outfit, I unzipped one of my suitcases. I pulled out a navy dress shirt. There wasn’t any need to impress anyone, but I still wanted to look good. I, Kaiba Seto, never looked unkempt. . . that would just be too weird. So yes, a navy long-sleeved dress shirt and the usual leather pants. I like leather, sue me. . . or try to sue me. We all know that I would win by a large margin.
I sat the outfit on top of my suitcase. . . and froze. Should I take my things to the bathroom and change, or. . . I mean, he liked me, didn’t he? He wouldn’t do anything, would he? I could just change right here in his bedroom and see what he did. Like a test. . . yeah, that’s it!
It definitely felt awkward as hell slipping off the school jacket and boring white shirt while sliding out of the ironed blue slacks that completed the uniform. Ah shit, why did I have to wear the black satin boxers? Mokuba got them for me for Christmas one year. Why he would buy me undergarments I’ll never understand, but I just had to keep them. . . he’s my only family, after all, and I love him more than anything. More than anything.
I could feel my entire body flaming up in one giant blush, but tried my best to fight it. I looked over toward Katsuya to see if his back was still towards me, but. . . much to my embarrassment, he was staring with his jaw slack.
I bent down, pulling my clothes up from my bag as though I might cover myself with them or suddenly rush to the bathroom to finish my changing there. “What?” I asked as though nothing were out of the ordinary, though I was sure that my blush couldn’t sting my cheeks anymore than it already was.
“You took your clothes off.” He kept staring, in sincere awe at my hideous body. . . why? “And you’re. . .” He trailed off, his eyes sweeping over me.
“I’m what?” I folded my arms, trying not to look so nervous or flustered.
“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He replied without any hesitation, and a red haze was quick to color his cheeks.
I looked to the floor, suddenly unable to face him. Beautiful? “Am I?” I smiled even though I didn’t really mean to. Beautiful. . . I had heard that so many times, but the way that he said it. . . it was different this time. When others said that I was ‘beautiful’ they really meant sexy, something that they wanted to toy with and break into a million fucking pieces. . . until they were satisfied, in which case they threw that ‘beautiful’ thing away until they wanted to play with it again.
“What?” He asked.
“Do you really think that about me?” I repeated, sitting on his bed still clad in only my underclothes. Was it just me or was he slowly coming closer?
“Yes.” Came his simple reply.
“Don’t you think I’m sexy, like all of the others?” I frowned, figuring that he probably used ‘beautiful’ and ‘sexy’ interchangeably just like everyone else did these days.
“No. Right now you’re just beautiful.” He had advanced until he stood only a couple feet away from me. Just beautiful. . . Katsuya thought that I was beautiful. . . not sexy, not hot. . . beautiful. I could feel my face burning; I wasn’t used to compliments like that. No, maybe it wasn’t that. There was definitely something about Katsuya that was different. He gave me this feeling that I just couldn’t possibly describe. Was it love? Did I even know what that truly felt like? I had once thought that I loved Saki, but. . . no, that wasn’t this feeling. My love towards Saki was more. . . I loved him because he was there for me. . . it was a friendship sort of love that was apparently one-sided. Saki only saw me as everyone else saw me. What was stopping Jounouchi from being the same way? There was only one way to find out.
I reached to the floor, grabbing at the pants of my school uniform and sliding my fingers into one of the pockets. Retrieving my cell phone, I dialed the number for my driver who was likely still waiting for us just outside.
“Yes master Seto?”
“Go on home. We’ve decided not to go out today.” My order was simple and to the point. He didn’t need any explanation, he simply obeyed orders. That was pathetic, really. I shut the phone and simply tossed it to the floor like a piece of trash, ready to repeat the same ritual I had learned so many years ago.
Like an innocent virgin, I rested my hands on Jou’s bed on either side of me, turning my face and eyes upward to look up at him. Vulnerable, a feeling that I knew all-too-well. I could feel his eyes on my skin. He said I was beautiful, but. . . so many others had said that too. When Katsuya said it, it was different, but still. . . perhaps that is his deceptive charm.
I felt my chest tighten at he leaned in just as I had feared. He reached a hand towards me; what would he do? His right hand ran gently along my left cheek, his thumb skimming across my lips. I closed my eyes, balling the sheets into my hands by accident. He wanted to kiss me. If he were anything like the others, it would be a very hard kiss, nearly hard enough to leave a bruise. He’d probably press me down against the mattress and. . . would he do something so awful?
No, he wasn’t like that. I really needed to stop comparing him to someone like Saki or some other pedophile. This was the all-around-nice-guy from school, Jounouchi Katsuya. As a part of Yuugi’s group, it wasn’t likely that Katsuya would be some sadistic freak. . . right?
I could feel his breath against my lips and knew he was just within inches of my face. . . and yet there was no contact. What was he waiting for? Why wouldn’t he kiss me? Was it because. . . it had to be! He was probably contemplating just how many men had kissed my lips. . . how stained they were with the cum of uncountable business associates. . . did it matter that I wasn’t a willing participant? I suppose not. . . filth is filth, no matter how it came to be that way.
I opened my eyes after a moment of waiting, “I didn’t think you would kiss me. . . after all you have learned about me.” I looked down at the floor, finding myself unable to face him, “I wouldn’t kiss someone like me either.”
My chin was suddenly seized, my face lifted towards the blond as he crushed his lips against my own. So similar to what I had become accustomed to and yet. . . it was a new experience. It wasn’t painful, but inviting. Not rough, but passionate. My eyes fell shut all on their own, accepting what was happening.
He shoved me lightly and I felt us both fall back to the bed together, the mattress bouncing under our weight as he continued his exploration of my mouth.
I didn’t struggle or fight against him like I probably should have. Instead, I found myself kissing him back in the same manner with which he kissed me. The entire situation seemed impossible. I, Kaiba Seto, was lying in a bed under Jounouchi Katsuya, currently making out with him, and to make things all the more surreal, I was wearing nothing but a pair of satin boxers. . . yeah, satin.
I felt him pull away, but I refused to open my eyes to see. “Katsuya.” I could have sworn I heard myself moan, though it didn’t even sound like my voice. That word, that name, it came all-too naturally for me to accept. It was strange hearing that name from my own lips. Katsuya. . . Seto and Katsuya, Katsuya and Seto. . . it sounded better the second way.
Again I felt his lips against my own, the softness and gentle touch of them almost turning my attention from the hands I could feel wandering around on my skin, Katsuya’s fingers dancing up and down my legs, his palms flattening against my thighs. This feeling, it was so familiar. . . and the longer he went, the more it felt familiar. . . the more I felt like it was them touching me, and not the puppy.
I threw back my head as he attacked my throat with his mouth, teeth nipping hard, but just light enough as to not leave any evidence. He must have been trying to distract me, but I easily noticed that he was prying my legs apart so that he could kneel between them.
“K-K-Katsuya. . .” I muttered. . . no, I practically moaned. It didn’t sound like it should have sounded, but when I heard myself practically gasping for air, strange noises escaping my lips in between each breath, I could see that my body was once again fighting my will. His fingers toyed with the insides of each leg, the sensation sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me. I tossed my head from side to side, not really intending to do so. My eyes were open only to slits, for it felt like I didn’t even have the strength to open them further.
He finally succeeded in prying my legs apart, pulling away from my neck so that he could gaze down at my from his position between my legs. I put my arms on either side of me, I hadn’t realized that they were resting on the pillow on either side of my head, and propped myself up slightly so that I wouldn’t be lying on my back while some guy was between my legs. . . it reminded me too much of when. . .
Keeping eye contact, Jou continued running his hands along my legs. It was clear what he wanted. He wanted me, all of me, every inch. . . everything. But what was there left to give? I wasn’t a virgin and. . . well, I really didn’t want sex. My experiences with it were. . . what if he didn’t stop if I told him to? What then? My chest ached with the thought. . . I’d be alone again. . . this is why I didn’t want friends.
I lowered myself back down onto the bed. I’d be screwed so many times. . . what did one more matter?
I felt his hands against my abdomen. That was usually where they began, that is, if they didn’t make me suck them off first. I suppose that Jounouchi just wanted to screw me as soon as he could. That was all anyone ever thought about. They wanted pleasure so badly. . . and they always forgot, or just plain didn’t give a damn, about what I wanted. But Jou wasn’t like them. . . Jou had such kind and promising eyes. His embrace had been so powerful and so warm, like a barrier from anything else, and now. . .
The tips of his fingers slid down inside the waistband of my boxers, the one thing separating what I had left from his eyes. I heard myself breathe sharply, but wouldn’t allow any further sound. If he wanted it, he could have it. . . it was nothing to give it up anymore, right? I had been conditioned to- . . . I had been conditioned.
He inched them slowly down, prolonging my torture. I could feel a strong burning sensation eating at the backs of my eyes, and I knew that tears were fighting to get out, but I wouldn’t let them. No, it wasn’t okay for someone to just have their way with me, it would never be okay. . . but it wasn’t like I could just stop him. No, that wasn’t the case here. Rather than lying helplessly beneath some filthy old man, I was lying beneath the blond that had protected me from Saki. . . Saki. . . Saki had protected me many times too. Were they the same in the end? The one test. . . the one way to find out. . . I could feel his fingers pulling the thin fabric near what I knew he was after. The time was now. If I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.
My hands flew to catch his own, my fingers wrapping around his in a wild death-grip, “Stop!” My voice was louder than I had heard it in a long time, though I wasn’t used to it sounding so pathetic.
“What?” He asked, as though the word were new to him. His hands went nowhere.
“Please stop.” I looked away from him, maintaining my grip on his hands to keep him from completing his mission, “I don’t want to do this. This isn’t what I want.” My eyes burned more now and I could feel the tears rimming my eyelids. Why? Why did I want to cry? Or rather, why did my body want to cry?
“I don’t want this. This isn’t what I want.”
“What you want? It’s always about what you want! What about what I want?”
“Please, Saki. . .”
Saki. . .
“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” Jounouchi’s angered tone brought me back, his brown eyes dark with frustration, “Did you have to wait until I was really worked up just to tell me that? Are you trying to fuck with my head?” He ripped his hands away, giving me time to pull my boxers back up.
“I didn’t mean to do it!” My tone was whiney as I threw whatever was left of my dignity away, “I thought I wanted it, but I don’t want it.” That was true.
In the blink of an eyes I found myself pressed into the bed, my arms pinned roughly above my head, the blond devil grinding his hips against my own. His kiss was bruising as he captured my lips again, this time not welcoming at all. It felt so damn good and I fucking hated it. I hate how people use my own body against me! I kicked at him and fought against his weight, but to no avail. My squirming only heightened the pleasure that I didn’t want.
I moaned against my will and wanted to take it back, though that was obviously impossible. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the arching of my back from the bed. . . I’d rather have moaned a thousand times over before doing that.
He finally pulled back. So that was it, then? He wasn’t going to stop like I asked? So then he wasn’t different, but. . .
“Seto. . .” His voice, yet another voice that would haunt me. Katsuya had sounded so much more kind than Saki, than anyone else.
“Why? Why won’t you stop?” I felt them, the tears making hot streams of shame down my cheeks. I hated myself for crying, and I hated my tears for wanting to fall.
Without any warning I was released, oxygen rushing into my lungs as the brown-eyed teen slid from the bed. I rubbed at my face to dry it up and try to pretend that those little droplets had never existed.
“It isn’t fair when you cry like that.” He told me from a few feet away. His eyes were full of. . . pity. I fucking hate pity.
I sat up, “Why isn’t it fair?”
“Because you’re pretty when you-”
I turned to him, wide-eyed.
“You’re pretty when you cry, Seto. . . so, so pretty. . .”
Pretty when I cry?
“Seto. I promise- no, I swear to you; I will never, under any circumstance, let that bastard hurt you ever again. I won’t hurt you. If you want me to stop, I’ll stop. I won’t let Saki touch you, I won’t let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely no one will rape you.” He was panting after his little monologue. . .and I too found myself breathless. To say something like that after he. . . no. He stopped like I had asked, he stopped because he couldn’t bear to see me hurting.
I stood from the bed, closing my eyes so that I didn’t have to look into those prying brown orbs of his. I took a few steps forward and then took off into a short sprint, right into the arms that awaited me. . . yes, this is how things ought to be.
“You are my sun. you have brightened my life and brought warmth to my heart. . . don’t ever leave.”
I wanted to smack him, but all I could bring myself to do was laugh, “You know,” I pulled away reluctantly, reaching for the outfit that I had originally picked out, “I know that you’re trying to be very sweet and romantic and all. . . but you should stick to just being your dumbass self.” I grinned, pulling on my pants.
He laughed a bit and then stared as I shimmied into the bottom-half of my outfit. “What?” I asked, wondering why he looked so fascinated.
“Nothing. You’re cute.” He turned away from me to get his own outfit. Cute?
“It’s already seven o’clock in the evening and we have school tomorrow. We could always go out to eat instead and just go clubbing another night.”
“You mean one of those stuck-up restaurants?”
“Absolutely.” I grinned, looking forward to a nice meal for once in the past few days. I slipped on my shirt.
“Alright, you win for tonight, but tomorrow we’re going clubbing.” He finished getting dressed and I just about died. He had black jeans, black dress shoes, and a crayola-green dress shirt on. “You alright?” He asked, and I’m positive it was from the abnormal look on my face.
“We’re going to go shopping before we go out tomorrow.”
“Shopping? For what?”
“Clothes for you.” I smirked at him and his lack of a fashion sense. I sat on his bed to put my shoes on and stood, leaving the bedroom.
“Are you going to call your driver back?” I could hear him following me. It sounded like he was walking awfully heavy.
I glanced back at him and tried not to laugh as I watched him hop down the hallway trying to put his shoes on while using the wall as a brace, “Yeah. I’m sick of walking everywhere. Remind me to buy you a car.” It was a joke, but it didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
He quit hopping, “Seriously?”
“Nope.” I leaned against the wall, facing him, “I’ll buy you a motorcycle instead.” Ooh yeah, that would be better.
“A motorcycle?”
“Yeah. . . I think you’d look sexy picking me up from my house or work or school on a motorcycle.” Was that too forward?
“You think so?” He quit leaning against the wall, “Wait, why would I be picking you up from your house? We’re in my house right now.”
So. . . he didn’t want to see me anymore after the project was through? “Do you mean to say that we aren’t an. . . that we aren’t. . . is this a. . .” What could I possibly say without sounding like some dramatic teenage girl?
“Woah, woah, woah! Hold the phone! Are you trying to say that you want to be my. . . that you’ll let me. . . that you wanna. . .” His mouth kept moving even after he finished a repetition of my rambling. . .
He cupped my chin and we closed our eyes together. This time he gave me a short, gentle kiss and then we stood there for a moment in each others’ arms. neither of us seemed to know what to say, and yet a few words were lingering in my head and they were all that I could think so say. With my head on his shoulder I put my lips close to his ear. . . and the words came out without a fight or even an ounce of regret.
“I love you.” This time, the words and the voice sounded like my own.
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Disclaimer: Yuugiou belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. (Did I even spell that right?)
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Recap:
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was. . . was. . .
. . . like I was falling in love.
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I made contact with my favorite driver, Saehara, and ordered him to pick Katsuya and I up. He brought the Mercedes, the perfect vehicle for traveling with both style and class. . . I guess. Why was my heart beating so quickly? I felt so. . . excited for some reason. I didn’t understand, but why understand something that doesn’t need to be understood? Great, now I’m confusing myself. . .
We were chauffeured to the lively side of town. It was already six by that time and so darkness was quickly approaching. Neon signs were illuminated on either side of the street. It felt good to finally get out and do something. . . and have someone to do things with. Now, by things I don’t mean ‘things’, I really do mean just things.
As we approached the hottest club in town, I glanced down at myself to make sure that I looked alright, only to find myself staring at something awful. All of this and we were still in our school uniforms! That would look really good. I could see it now, “Uh, yes sir, we’re over 21, we’re just wearing high school uniforms because, uh. . . we find them sexy. . . yeah, that’s it, they’re sexy!” Something told me that wouldn’t go over too well.
“Ah shit. . .” I muttered, upon noticing, “Saehara, drive us to Jounouchi’s apartment.” I had to watch myself to make sure that ‘Jounouchi’ left my lips instead of ‘Katsuya’. Left my lips? If that didn’t sound dirty. . .
“I thought we were going out to drink.” Oh, I probably should have explained myself to the blond before giving such a sudden order to my driver.
I turned to my right, where he sat, “We are, but there is nothing cool about a high school uniform.” I made a face at him and then leaned against the window, my hair falling into my eyes.
The setting sun was beautiful, it’s brilliant golden glow bending down to kiss the skyline. Sometimes I would sit on my bedroom balcony back at my house and just watch it for a long while. The most peaceful times of day, in my opinion, were sunrise and sunset. Everything else seemed like it could wait while I watched those two magnificent events. Who could think of anything awful about either? The sun was actually quite. . . romantic, if I dare say so.
I snuck a peak at Katsuya out of the corner of my eye. Was he staring at me again? He did that so much. Did he have a crush on me or something? Maybe. . . no, I was just getting my hopes up. Hopes? I wanted him to have a crush on me? Yeah, I suppose I did. . . I do. . .
The ride to his apartment was a short one, which I was very thankful for since I found it difficult to keep my eyes open during the entirety of the trip. It took him longer than usual to open the door. He fumbled like a pathetic boy going on his first date. Date? Why on Earth did such things keep popping into my head? Now that I thought about it, I had a really funny feeling in my stomach. . .
We went back to his room to pick out what we would wear. I hadn’t really packed anything for the occasion, but Jou said that I looked good in anything. . . not that his opinion mattered. Well, maybe it did. . . just a little. It was always good to have an opinion, right? Right.
While Jounouchi fished through his various drawers for what would hopefully be a decent outfit, I unzipped one of my suitcases. I pulled out a navy dress shirt. There wasn’t any need to impress anyone, but I still wanted to look good. I, Kaiba Seto, never looked unkempt. . . that would just be too weird. So yes, a navy long-sleeved dress shirt and the usual leather pants. I like leather, sue me. . . or try to sue me. We all know that I would win by a large margin.
I sat the outfit on top of my suitcase. . . and froze. Should I take my things to the bathroom and change, or. . . I mean, he liked me, didn’t he? He wouldn’t do anything, would he? I could just change right here in his bedroom and see what he did. Like a test. . . yeah, that’s it!
It definitely felt awkward as hell slipping off the school jacket and boring white shirt while sliding out of the ironed blue slacks that completed the uniform. Ah shit, why did I have to wear the black satin boxers? Mokuba got them for me for Christmas one year. Why he would buy me undergarments I’ll never understand, but I just had to keep them. . . he’s my only family, after all, and I love him more than anything. More than anything.
I could feel my entire body flaming up in one giant blush, but tried my best to fight it. I looked over toward Katsuya to see if his back was still towards me, but. . . much to my embarrassment, he was staring with his jaw slack.
I bent down, pulling my clothes up from my bag as though I might cover myself with them or suddenly rush to the bathroom to finish my changing there. “What?” I asked as though nothing were out of the ordinary, though I was sure that my blush couldn’t sting my cheeks anymore than it already was.
“You took your clothes off.” He kept staring, in sincere awe at my hideous body. . . why? “And you’re. . .” He trailed off, his eyes sweeping over me.
“I’m what?” I folded my arms, trying not to look so nervous or flustered.
“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He replied without any hesitation, and a red haze was quick to color his cheeks.
I looked to the floor, suddenly unable to face him. Beautiful? “Am I?” I smiled even though I didn’t really mean to. Beautiful. . . I had heard that so many times, but the way that he said it. . . it was different this time. When others said that I was ‘beautiful’ they really meant sexy, something that they wanted to toy with and break into a million fucking pieces. . . until they were satisfied, in which case they threw that ‘beautiful’ thing away until they wanted to play with it again.
“What?” He asked.
“Do you really think that about me?” I repeated, sitting on his bed still clad in only my underclothes. Was it just me or was he slowly coming closer?
“Yes.” Came his simple reply.
“Don’t you think I’m sexy, like all of the others?” I frowned, figuring that he probably used ‘beautiful’ and ‘sexy’ interchangeably just like everyone else did these days.
“No. Right now you’re just beautiful.” He had advanced until he stood only a couple feet away from me. Just beautiful. . . Katsuya thought that I was beautiful. . . not sexy, not hot. . . beautiful. I could feel my face burning; I wasn’t used to compliments like that. No, maybe it wasn’t that. There was definitely something about Katsuya that was different. He gave me this feeling that I just couldn’t possibly describe. Was it love? Did I even know what that truly felt like? I had once thought that I loved Saki, but. . . no, that wasn’t this feeling. My love towards Saki was more. . . I loved him because he was there for me. . . it was a friendship sort of love that was apparently one-sided. Saki only saw me as everyone else saw me. What was stopping Jounouchi from being the same way? There was only one way to find out.
I reached to the floor, grabbing at the pants of my school uniform and sliding my fingers into one of the pockets. Retrieving my cell phone, I dialed the number for my driver who was likely still waiting for us just outside.
“Yes master Seto?”
“Go on home. We’ve decided not to go out today.” My order was simple and to the point. He didn’t need any explanation, he simply obeyed orders. That was pathetic, really. I shut the phone and simply tossed it to the floor like a piece of trash, ready to repeat the same ritual I had learned so many years ago.
Like an innocent virgin, I rested my hands on Jou’s bed on either side of me, turning my face and eyes upward to look up at him. Vulnerable, a feeling that I knew all-too-well. I could feel his eyes on my skin. He said I was beautiful, but. . . so many others had said that too. When Katsuya said it, it was different, but still. . . perhaps that is his deceptive charm.
I felt my chest tighten at he leaned in just as I had feared. He reached a hand towards me; what would he do? His right hand ran gently along my left cheek, his thumb skimming across my lips. I closed my eyes, balling the sheets into my hands by accident. He wanted to kiss me. If he were anything like the others, it would be a very hard kiss, nearly hard enough to leave a bruise. He’d probably press me down against the mattress and. . . would he do something so awful?
No, he wasn’t like that. I really needed to stop comparing him to someone like Saki or some other pedophile. This was the all-around-nice-guy from school, Jounouchi Katsuya. As a part of Yuugi’s group, it wasn’t likely that Katsuya would be some sadistic freak. . . right?
I could feel his breath against my lips and knew he was just within inches of my face. . . and yet there was no contact. What was he waiting for? Why wouldn’t he kiss me? Was it because. . . it had to be! He was probably contemplating just how many men had kissed my lips. . . how stained they were with the cum of uncountable business associates. . . did it matter that I wasn’t a willing participant? I suppose not. . . filth is filth, no matter how it came to be that way.
I opened my eyes after a moment of waiting, “I didn’t think you would kiss me. . . after all you have learned about me.” I looked down at the floor, finding myself unable to face him, “I wouldn’t kiss someone like me either.”
My chin was suddenly seized, my face lifted towards the blond as he crushed his lips against my own. So similar to what I had become accustomed to and yet. . . it was a new experience. It wasn’t painful, but inviting. Not rough, but passionate. My eyes fell shut all on their own, accepting what was happening.
He shoved me lightly and I felt us both fall back to the bed together, the mattress bouncing under our weight as he continued his exploration of my mouth.
I didn’t struggle or fight against him like I probably should have. Instead, I found myself kissing him back in the same manner with which he kissed me. The entire situation seemed impossible. I, Kaiba Seto, was lying in a bed under Jounouchi Katsuya, currently making out with him, and to make things all the more surreal, I was wearing nothing but a pair of satin boxers. . . yeah, satin.
I felt him pull away, but I refused to open my eyes to see. “Katsuya.” I could have sworn I heard myself moan, though it didn’t even sound like my voice. That word, that name, it came all-too naturally for me to accept. It was strange hearing that name from my own lips. Katsuya. . . Seto and Katsuya, Katsuya and Seto. . . it sounded better the second way.
Again I felt his lips against my own, the softness and gentle touch of them almost turning my attention from the hands I could feel wandering around on my skin, Katsuya’s fingers dancing up and down my legs, his palms flattening against my thighs. This feeling, it was so familiar. . . and the longer he went, the more it felt familiar. . . the more I felt like it was them touching me, and not the puppy.
I threw back my head as he attacked my throat with his mouth, teeth nipping hard, but just light enough as to not leave any evidence. He must have been trying to distract me, but I easily noticed that he was prying my legs apart so that he could kneel between them.
“K-K-Katsuya. . .” I muttered. . . no, I practically moaned. It didn’t sound like it should have sounded, but when I heard myself practically gasping for air, strange noises escaping my lips in between each breath, I could see that my body was once again fighting my will. His fingers toyed with the insides of each leg, the sensation sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me. I tossed my head from side to side, not really intending to do so. My eyes were open only to slits, for it felt like I didn’t even have the strength to open them further.
He finally succeeded in prying my legs apart, pulling away from my neck so that he could gaze down at my from his position between my legs. I put my arms on either side of me, I hadn’t realized that they were resting on the pillow on either side of my head, and propped myself up slightly so that I wouldn’t be lying on my back while some guy was between my legs. . . it reminded me too much of when. . .
Keeping eye contact, Jou continued running his hands along my legs. It was clear what he wanted. He wanted me, all of me, every inch. . . everything. But what was there left to give? I wasn’t a virgin and. . . well, I really didn’t want sex. My experiences with it were. . . what if he didn’t stop if I told him to? What then? My chest ached with the thought. . . I’d be alone again. . . this is why I didn’t want friends.
I lowered myself back down onto the bed. I’d be screwed so many times. . . what did one more matter?
I felt his hands against my abdomen. That was usually where they began, that is, if they didn’t make me suck them off first. I suppose that Jounouchi just wanted to screw me as soon as he could. That was all anyone ever thought about. They wanted pleasure so badly. . . and they always forgot, or just plain didn’t give a damn, about what I wanted. But Jou wasn’t like them. . . Jou had such kind and promising eyes. His embrace had been so powerful and so warm, like a barrier from anything else, and now. . .
The tips of his fingers slid down inside the waistband of my boxers, the one thing separating what I had left from his eyes. I heard myself breathe sharply, but wouldn’t allow any further sound. If he wanted it, he could have it. . . it was nothing to give it up anymore, right? I had been conditioned to- . . . I had been conditioned.
He inched them slowly down, prolonging my torture. I could feel a strong burning sensation eating at the backs of my eyes, and I knew that tears were fighting to get out, but I wouldn’t let them. No, it wasn’t okay for someone to just have their way with me, it would never be okay. . . but it wasn’t like I could just stop him. No, that wasn’t the case here. Rather than lying helplessly beneath some filthy old man, I was lying beneath the blond that had protected me from Saki. . . Saki. . . Saki had protected me many times too. Were they the same in the end? The one test. . . the one way to find out. . . I could feel his fingers pulling the thin fabric near what I knew he was after. The time was now. If I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.
My hands flew to catch his own, my fingers wrapping around his in a wild death-grip, “Stop!” My voice was louder than I had heard it in a long time, though I wasn’t used to it sounding so pathetic.
“What?” He asked, as though the word were new to him. His hands went nowhere.
“Please stop.” I looked away from him, maintaining my grip on his hands to keep him from completing his mission, “I don’t want to do this. This isn’t what I want.” My eyes burned more now and I could feel the tears rimming my eyelids. Why? Why did I want to cry? Or rather, why did my body want to cry?
“I don’t want this. This isn’t what I want.”
“What you want? It’s always about what you want! What about what I want?”
“Please, Saki. . .”
Saki. . .
“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” Jounouchi’s angered tone brought me back, his brown eyes dark with frustration, “Did you have to wait until I was really worked up just to tell me that? Are you trying to fuck with my head?” He ripped his hands away, giving me time to pull my boxers back up.
“I didn’t mean to do it!” My tone was whiney as I threw whatever was left of my dignity away, “I thought I wanted it, but I don’t want it.” That was true.
In the blink of an eyes I found myself pressed into the bed, my arms pinned roughly above my head, the blond devil grinding his hips against my own. His kiss was bruising as he captured my lips again, this time not welcoming at all. It felt so damn good and I fucking hated it. I hate how people use my own body against me! I kicked at him and fought against his weight, but to no avail. My squirming only heightened the pleasure that I didn’t want.
I moaned against my will and wanted to take it back, though that was obviously impossible. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the arching of my back from the bed. . . I’d rather have moaned a thousand times over before doing that.
He finally pulled back. So that was it, then? He wasn’t going to stop like I asked? So then he wasn’t different, but. . .
“Seto. . .” His voice, yet another voice that would haunt me. Katsuya had sounded so much more kind than Saki, than anyone else.
“Why? Why won’t you stop?” I felt them, the tears making hot streams of shame down my cheeks. I hated myself for crying, and I hated my tears for wanting to fall.
Without any warning I was released, oxygen rushing into my lungs as the brown-eyed teen slid from the bed. I rubbed at my face to dry it up and try to pretend that those little droplets had never existed.
“It isn’t fair when you cry like that.” He told me from a few feet away. His eyes were full of. . . pity. I fucking hate pity.
I sat up, “Why isn’t it fair?”
“Because you’re pretty when you-”
I turned to him, wide-eyed.
“You’re pretty when you cry, Seto. . . so, so pretty. . .”
Pretty when I cry?
“Seto. I promise- no, I swear to you; I will never, under any circumstance, let that bastard hurt you ever again. I won’t hurt you. If you want me to stop, I’ll stop. I won’t let Saki touch you, I won’t let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely no one will rape you.” He was panting after his little monologue. . .and I too found myself breathless. To say something like that after he. . . no. He stopped like I had asked, he stopped because he couldn’t bear to see me hurting.
I stood from the bed, closing my eyes so that I didn’t have to look into those prying brown orbs of his. I took a few steps forward and then took off into a short sprint, right into the arms that awaited me. . . yes, this is how things ought to be.
“You are my sun. you have brightened my life and brought warmth to my heart. . . don’t ever leave.”
I wanted to smack him, but all I could bring myself to do was laugh, “You know,” I pulled away reluctantly, reaching for the outfit that I had originally picked out, “I know that you’re trying to be very sweet and romantic and all. . . but you should stick to just being your dumbass self.” I grinned, pulling on my pants.
He laughed a bit and then stared as I shimmied into the bottom-half of my outfit. “What?” I asked, wondering why he looked so fascinated.
“Nothing. You’re cute.” He turned away from me to get his own outfit. Cute?
“It’s already seven o’clock in the evening and we have school tomorrow. We could always go out to eat instead and just go clubbing another night.”
“You mean one of those stuck-up restaurants?”
“Absolutely.” I grinned, looking forward to a nice meal for once in the past few days. I slipped on my shirt.
“Alright, you win for tonight, but tomorrow we’re going clubbing.” He finished getting dressed and I just about died. He had black jeans, black dress shoes, and a crayola-green dress shirt on. “You alright?” He asked, and I’m positive it was from the abnormal look on my face.
“We’re going to go shopping before we go out tomorrow.”
“Shopping? For what?”
“Clothes for you.” I smirked at him and his lack of a fashion sense. I sat on his bed to put my shoes on and stood, leaving the bedroom.
“Are you going to call your driver back?” I could hear him following me. It sounded like he was walking awfully heavy.
I glanced back at him and tried not to laugh as I watched him hop down the hallway trying to put his shoes on while using the wall as a brace, “Yeah. I’m sick of walking everywhere. Remind me to buy you a car.” It was a joke, but it didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
He quit hopping, “Seriously?”
“Nope.” I leaned against the wall, facing him, “I’ll buy you a motorcycle instead.” Ooh yeah, that would be better.
“A motorcycle?”
“Yeah. . . I think you’d look sexy picking me up from my house or work or school on a motorcycle.” Was that too forward?
“You think so?” He quit leaning against the wall, “Wait, why would I be picking you up from your house? We’re in my house right now.”
So. . . he didn’t want to see me anymore after the project was through? “Do you mean to say that we aren’t an. . . that we aren’t. . . is this a. . .” What could I possibly say without sounding like some dramatic teenage girl?
“Woah, woah, woah! Hold the phone! Are you trying to say that you want to be my. . . that you’ll let me. . . that you wanna. . .” His mouth kept moving even after he finished a repetition of my rambling. . .
He cupped my chin and we closed our eyes together. This time he gave me a short, gentle kiss and then we stood there for a moment in each others’ arms. neither of us seemed to know what to say, and yet a few words were lingering in my head and they were all that I could think so say. With my head on his shoulder I put my lips close to his ear. . . and the words came out without a fight or even an ounce of regret.
“I love you.” This time, the words and the voice sounded like my own.
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