Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story ❯ Day Eight: Expectations ( Chapter 31 )

Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story

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Ah yes, chapter 31 of Seto's Story. I don't know what else to say here, lol. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Yugioh was created by Kazuki Takahashi, not me . . . surprised? Oh, and I don't own any of the various bands that I mentioned, nor do I own the song `Behind Blue Eyes'.

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Recap:

“Come on you guys!” Mokuba's voice crept into the room as he yelled from his place by the front door.

“We're on our way!” I called to him, sliding from my place on the desk and walking out of the office. When I realized that Katsuya was walking behind me once again, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him until he was walking nextto me, “I never cared much for shadows.” I informed him with a smirk and the two of us went to where Mokuba was waiting . . .

. . . hand in hand.

- - -

“So where are we going first, oh fashionable one?” Katsuya teased Mokuba from across the car. Katsuya and I were seated together on one side while Mokuba was seated across from us.

“Well I was thinking about going to some of the places that sell clothes like Seto wears. You know, suits and stuff.”

Mokuba and I had briefly discussed where we would go before we left the house. I suggested dress clothes and Mokuba agreed it was a good idea. If he wanted to claim the idea as his own, that's fine by me.

“Uh, I don't know if that's a very good idea.” Jou protested, as I suspected he would. “I don't think I'd look right wearing some of the stuff your brother gets away with.”

“The stuff I get away with? What's that supposed to mean?” Was that an insult? I always get compliments on my clothes.

Katsuya shot me a look, “Leather pants.”

“So?”

“Do I really need to say anything else?” He grinned so I just rolled my eyes.

I faced the window, “I think you'd look good in leather pants . . .” I muttered, thinking aloud by mistake.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Hopefully he really hadn't heard me. I shouldn't be saying such embarrassing things. It's bad enough that I'm thinking things like that.

“I dunno, Jou, maybe you'd look really sharp in dress clothes.” For a second I thought that Mokuba was going to tell him he'd look good in leather pants. “Those rags you're wearing now definitely fit your personality though.”

“Watch it, ya brat.” Jou snapped. Mokuba deserved that one. He needs to watch what he says to people . . . unless they insult him first. “Anyways, what's the name of this place?”

“I have no idea what the name is.” I informed him, “I just told the driver to take us out to the mall. Since we're shopping for you, I didn't want to go anywhere too formal, but at the same time I don't want you in street clothes. I remembered that there is a place in the mall that sells some decent things. I went in there for a bit that first time that you and I went there, remember?”

It felt like so long ago when he and I went there together. I felt so out of place it wasn't even funny. This time, however, will be different. I am on a mission to dress Katsuya in better clothes. Not only will it hopefully make Saki stop calling him trash, but . . . well, I have this idea of what Katsuya might look like in dress clothes and, well . . . I'll make him wear them even if I have to light his entire current wardrobe on fire.

I stared out the window. I could see clumps of teens and young adults outside of the various restaurants. I never got to do things like that when I was their age . . . then again, some of them may be my age or even older. Sometimes I just feel so old . . .

A tap on my shoulder startled me a bit. It was Katsuya. When I looked at him he pointed to his neck and then to me . . . why would he-

My hand flew up to cover the sucker mark as if by instinct, “Shit . . .” Mokuba must have seen it and now everybody would see it. “Whatever. I don't care what people think about it.” I lied, looking out the window again. No one would dare say anything about it, right? Of course they wouldn't; I'm Kaiba Seto.

- - -

The three of us were dropped off at the main entrance. I always feel significantly overdressed at places like this. Luckily this type of crowd wasn't likely to recognize me, or if they did, they would probably just think I was some look-alike. Kaiba Seto in the Domino City mall? Never.

The place was crawling with kids and the elderly, all of which were constantly in our way. Why do groups of people feel the need to form a wall while they are walking? Also, why do they walk so slow? Some of us aren't here for a leisurely stroll. People are so irritating.

Slowly but surely we arrived at the store I had been to just days ago. Had it only been days? It feels like it's been years.

“Aren't places like this usually really expensive?” Katsuya had almost a nervous look as we entered the store.

“Expensive? Have you forgotten who you're talking to?” There is no such thing as expensive in a shopping mall, at least not in my opinion. I just need to remember that we will get what we pay for, so I shouldn't expect anything of great quality. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. I should just order his clothes online like I do for myself. Oh, but I want him to look sharp when he goes to see that bastard tomorrow. I don't have time to order something and have it tailored. This will just have to suffice for now.

“Okay moneybags, I meant expensive for the average Joe.”

“You mean the average Jou.” Mokuba snickered. Really, his jokes were getting more and more juvenile. I have to keep reminding myself that he's only thirteen.

“I wouldn't know.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep bragging rich boy.”

I hope he doesn't really think I'm bragging. I honestly don't really know what is considered expensive to the average person. Even my original parents were well-off financially. I wouldn't say they were rich, but we certainly didn't seem to have any money problems. Even though I wasn't that young when my father died, my memories of those days are really dim.

I pulled a dark grey suit from a rack and held it up to Katsuya. Honestly, does a grey suit look good on anyone that isn't old? I put it back in its place and then pulled out a black one, holding that one up to him instead. Black was much more appealing and looked good on just about anyone, “Black is a good color on you, Katsuya. Your hair and your eyes are bright, bold colors, so the black complements them very well.”

“I didn't know you were such an expert on fashion.” Katsuya laughed at me.

“Tch. Whatever.” I'm only explaining to him why it would look good on him so that hopefully he'll be able to pick out his own clothes someday and look classy. “What size dress pants do you wear?” I would assume he wears a size similar to mine.

“Are dress pants sizes different from regular pants sizes?”

I couldn't help but just stare at him. Has he never bought dress clothes before? “I hope you're joking. Have you never worn a suit?” Hasn't everyone worn a suit at some point in time? All people go to events that require formal attire whether they're rich or not.

“Uh, I don't think I have.” He started fidgeting, “I've never had any occasion to wear one.”

Impossible! “You've never been to a wedding or a graduation ceremony or maybe even a school dance?”

“None of the above.” He shrugged! Shrugged! Like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary!

“I'll bring you along with me to some of the events I have to attend for business. They're supposed to be for networking and whatnot . . .” As if I really need to network with people, “I think it's just an excuse for wealthy people to get together and flaunt their paychecks.” I rolled my eyes at the memory of the most recent event. Everyone talking about their yachts and vacation homes. They never bothered bragging to me, though. No one had bragging rights with me.

“I thought you were worried about people thinking we're a couple.”

Oh shit, that's true.

“Seriously, Seto?” Mokuba put his hands on his hips, ready to scold me, “You turned the biggest military arms corporation into a gaming company, and you're worried about what people will say about you and Jou being together? Really?”

When he says it like that, I guess he has a point. Even so . . . I always say that people would never talk about me because of who I am, and yet here I am worried about what people might say. I worry about the media putting its filthy nose into my business. I also worry about someone coming forward about what went on when Gozaburo was alive. Many of those men are behind bars, but there's no way that I could identify each one, since I couldn't always see them. I've lived with the hope that they wouldn't say anything because that would incriminate them. I even managed to keep people quiet about what was said in the court hearings regarding Gozaburo's death and then regarding all of the men that abused me . . . but what if someone, somewhere gave that information out when they found out I was with a guy?

What should I do?

“Mokuba, go get someone over here to measure Jou for a suit.”

I shouldn't worry about it right now, that's what.

- - -

The expressions on Jou's face were just too funny. I couldn't help but smirk as I watched the blond glare at the man's hands for touching a little too close to his personal zones. Clearly Katsuya has never been measured before. It really is an awkward experience, which is why whenever I get measured I have a few of my men with me just in case things get tooawkward.

“Why don't you measure him too?” Katsuya pointed at me once his session was complete.

“I don't think so.” I waved away the employee when he turned to me. “I get measured about twice a year. Needless to say, I only ever grow in height.” I've worn the same size waist since I can remember. It's almost a little embarrassing.

I took the paper from Jou's hands that had his measurements written on it. He was just a bit bigger in the waist and wore slightly shorter pants. His neck is also bigger around. So he's shorter but makes up for it in girth. Oh man, what am I talking about? “I order my clothing online,” I continued, fighting my mind which had fallen into the gutter, “usually from overseas. I have a tailor that will come to my house and make any changes necessary.”

“Weren't you just rolling your eyes at the thought of people flaunting their money?” Katsuya sounded annoyed.

“Shut up, mutt.” I flicked his nose. “Mokuba, see these numbers here?” I pointed to the measurements needed for pants, “Find some nice pants with those numbers on the tag, preferably black or khaki.” Khaki pants would look nice on him for casual wear. “Jou, you and I are going to look for a nice jacket, shirt, and tie.” Just one of each? “Actually, we'll get several dress shirts and ties.” I really should make the most of this opportunity. I get to decide what he'll be wearing. I guess I'm a bit . . . excited? Hm . . .

The two of us went around from rack to rack. They had some nice colors, but the materials were only average. No matter; I'll just order him some nicer things for when I take him to events . . . if I do take him to events. Every now and then I took a second to locate Mokuba, who I found zipping around the store with an armload of dress pants that was continuously growing. Something tells me he's enjoying this about as much as I am.

It didn't take long to figure out that earth tones look the best on Jou. Greens, browns, beiges . . . . those are the colors that he really ought to wear. Well, those and black. Just about everyone looks good in black . . . and maybe white.

“I've got some!” Mokuba approached us in a half-run, his arms full of partially-folded pants. Hm, he's pretty efficient.

“Damn,” Jou eyed the pile, apparently not thrilled, “how many did you get?”

“I dunno. Seto said get pants so I got pants.” Perhaps I should have specified how many. Oh well, you can never have too many pairs of nice pants.

“Fair enough.” Katsuya ran a hand through his hair . . . his free hand. He and I both had our arms full of shirts and ties and one black suit jacket. Honestly, where is the customer service around here? Shouldn't someone be holding these for us? I think next time I'll take Jou to a nice men's boutique whether he is comfortable with it or not.

“Did you want to bother trying them on?” I nodded toward a dressing room on the other side of the store. I don't know why I asked, since I already know what his answer will be.

“Not in particular.” I thought for sure it would be a more assertive `no!' but whatever. Is something bothering him? He seems a little out of it.

“Then let's go pay for everything.” I won't embarrass him by asking about it in front of Mokuba . . . even though he probably wouldn't think twice about embarrassing me.

“Fifty dollars?!?!?!”

Mokuba and I turned around to see a rather freaked-out Jou. I guess he finally looked at one of the price tags. If he thinks that's expensive, he's going to have a heart attack when he sees how much I spend on my clothes.

The entire store fell to a hush until Katsuya finally noticed they were all staring. “Sorry.” He muttered under his breath, bowing his head in shame. That's definitely his style.

The store went back to its bustle and noise.

“What's the problem, Jou?” Mokuba obviously didn't understand what the outburst was about. “How much do you usually spend on shirts?”

Probably only twenty dollars, maybe thirty.

“Well all I've ever really bough are t-shirts, so . . .”

Scratch that; maybe fifteen dollars.

“I dunno, five bucks?”

“Wow.” Five dollars for a shirt? Where on earth does he shop? Honestly, I didn't know places sold clothes for so cheap! The quality is probably worse than a potato sack.

We piled all articles of clothing onto the checkout counter, surprising the man at the register. Could he have possibly scanned any slower than that? Shirt after shirt went through then came the mountain of pants Mokuba picked out. I probably should have checked them to make sure he got the correct sizes . . . no, I shouldn't doubt Mokuba; he's a smart kid.

“Holy shit . . .” Katsuya hissed as the jacket was scanned through.

“I'll buy you a nicer suit somewhere else, Jou.” I promised, eyeing the subpar jacket. He deserves something nicer.

“That's definitely not necessary.”

It definitely is. He's had to wear five-dollar shirts his entire life so now is his turn to be treated to luxurious items. Perhaps I'll give him a weekly allowance like I do with Mokuba that way he can go and buy whatever he wants. I think Katsuya would like that. As of right now . . . money is all that I really have to offer him.

We left the store with several bags and once again battled the growing mall crowd. I'll be honest . . . I'm kind of excited to get back home as soon as possible to have Jou try on at least one of his new outfits for me to see. I think he's going to look great in dress clothes. All he needs now is his own cell phone and a laptop.

“Where are we going now, Seto?” The three of us stopped in a small clearing to regroup.

“Well I was thinking about going to an electronics store to get Jou a laptop and then perhaps hitting a phone store . . . but you know how much I hate going around and shopping.” I rarely go out and shop, but this is for Katsuya. Even so, the longer I'm out, the longer it will be until I can see Jou in his new clothes . . . “I think we can just order those things online and have everything delivered to us. Is that okay with you, Jou?” Of course it is, I dare you to say no!

“You really don't have to buy me all of this stuff, Seto . . .”

He looked really depressed about something. What could possibly be making him unhappy? Wouldn't someone like him normally be very excited about getting new things? Doesn't he think of these things as gifts? I don't know anyone that doesn't appreciate gifts . . . “What's the matter?” I folded my arms to let him know that I wasn't going anywhere until he told me what was wrong.

“You just don't need to keep buying me things. I can earn that stuff on my own.” The last few words trailed off into silence and he refused to look at me. He can earn these things on his own? So is that the real problem here? Hm . . . it makes sense, really. Katsuya does come off as the time that wouldn't want things simply handed to him. I should have thought that through more carefully.

“So that's what your pouting is all about.” I began to walk through the crowd again, the two of them following me. Whether he wants it or not, I will buy things for him, “Maybe I want to spoil you.” It's not like I'm doing it because I feel like I have to, but . . . I guess I get some kind of satisfaction out of it. I want to see his face light up with a smile when he gets something he loves. That's the only thing I like about Christmas time; I get to see Mokuba so happy and excited.

“Yeah!” Mokuba chimed in, “Good boyfriends usually like spoiling their girlfriends.”

That's right Mokuba; let Jou know who wears the pants in this relationship, heh.

“Hey now!” Suddenly Katsuya wasn't so sullen, “What makes you think that I'm the female in this relationship?”

“You're shorter so you're the girl. That's how it usually is in gay relationships.”

Wait, what? “How it usually is?” Is Mokuba getting into things that I don't know about? “And just how, dare I ask, do you know how things usually are in gay relationships?” I swear to any god that may exist, if Mokuba says that he has been in a gay relationship . . . or any relationship at all, for that matter-

“I've got some female friends at school that are yaoi fangirls; they feel the need to tell me everything about it.”

His friends talk to him about gay relationships? “While I'm looking for laptops and cell phones for Katsuya, I think I'll look for a home school teacher for you, Mokuba.” Katsuya must be right; public school is bad news. Maybe we could do a compromise and I could send him to a private school.

“Noooooooooo Seto!” Mokuba grabbed onto my arm, tugging like a child.

“Hey Seto?” Katsuya appeared at my other side.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you decide to go to public school after Gozaburo died? Couldn't you have just continued your private tutoring?”

“That's a good question . . .” Mokuba added, apparently curious as well, “Well, Seto?”

Why did I attend public school? It was something that I thought I missed. When Mokuba and I were little, we attended public school and I remember having my own circle of friends and I remember playing with them during recess. We would go over to each other's houses and play in the park together . . . when I was living under Gozaburo I didn't have any of that and a part of me always longed for it. Even when I told myself I never wanted to make friends again, I still decided to attend public school. I guess that a part of me longed . . . to be normal again.

I shrugged, a knowing smile on my lips, “Who knows?” As if I'd ever say something so embarrassing! Perhaps in front of Jou, but in front of Mokuba? He'd never let me live that down! Then again, maybe he already knows the real reason . . .

As we headed toward the exit I phoned the driver and called for him to pick us up. He was waiting for us at the door, as expected. I always wonder if they really wait at the door the entire time and just pretend to be prompt and dutiful.

We slid back into the same places in the limousine, with Jou and I on one side and Mokuba on the other. Does this kind of thing bother Mokuba at all? Maybe I should ask him if it bothers him that Jou and I are together. I don't want to do things that upset my brother.

“Hey Jou, what kind of music do you listen to?” Mokuba fidgeted in his seat while attempting to make small talk. He doesn't like silence.

“Uhhh, pretty much whatever sounds good. I'm not too picky.”

“Even country?”

“Wellllllll, maybe not country.” Katsuya certainly doesn't seem like he would listen to country. Rap, maybe, but not country.

“Seto doesn't really listen to anything at all; he's lame!” I'm sure he made a face at me, but I just looked out the window and completely ignored his childish antics. It's not true that I don't listen to music . . . I'm kind of like Katsuya; I listen to whatever sounds good.

“Well some people only like music that they can relate to.”

Music they can relate to? There are several songs like that, but I don't care much for them.

“Hey Seto, have you ever heard of a song called `Behind Blue Eyes'?”

I turned away from the window and face a very enthusiastic-looking Katsuya, “Like Mokuba said, I don't listen to much music.” It's probably some sappy pop song that's all the rage right now.

“But you haven't even heard of it?” Was my answer not obvious enough? “It was originally done by a band called `The Who' and was later remade by the band `Limp Bizkit'.”

I couldn't help but furrow my brows. Did he really just say what I think he said? “Limp Biscuit?” Had I heard him right? “What the hell kind of name is that?” I know that bands tend to name themselves strange things, but seriously . . . limp biscuit? Sounds more like a parody group.

Upon hearing my answer Mokuba erupted into laughter and Katsuya fought the urge to do so himself. I really don't see what is so funny about my question. Shouldn't they be laughing at the name of that group instead? Or maybe . . . maybe they're both laughing because Katsuya was actually lying about the band because he knows I don't know much about musical groups. I don't like when people make a fool out of me.

“There are worse names out there than that.” Katsuya informed me, a smile on his face.

“Worse than Limp Biscuit?”

“Ever heard of the Butthole Surfers?”

The Butthole Surfers? Okay, now I know he's just fucking playing around with me. “Shut the hell up.” I turned back to my window.

“I'm serious!” Jou insisted, “We can look it up when we get home!”

You're damn right we'll look it up when we get home and if I find out that you were just fucking with me, I'll smother you with a damn pillow! As for Mokuba, I really will get him a home school teacher!

- - -

The first thing we did when we got home was get on the computer in my office at the front of the house. All I could do was get up and leave the room while Mokuba and Jou laughed their asses off at me. Katsuya hadn't been lying after all! What the hell is wrong with people? Why on earth would they want to be called something so awful as `The Butthole Surfers'? Just thinking of that name makes me feel ridiculous!

While the two of them recovered from laughing until they cried, I sent the new clothes off to be washed . . . of course it was only after I had them sent away that I remembered I wanted Katsuya to try an outfit on for me to see . . . but I suppose it can wait until they've been washed. I feel weird getting excited over such a small thing.

I was trying to decide what meal would be good for dinner, but Katsuya and Mokuba both pestered me in unison until I finally gave in and allowed them to order pizza for dinner. I try not to let Mokuba eat too many fattening foods. I've seen what's happening to children these days and I'll be damned if I let my brother turn into something like that!

I placed the order online to avoid having to call the damn place. I made the mistake of ordering over the phone once and those people are far too suspicious. I order online and pay online and they just give me my damn food. I love the internet.

We all sat at our usual spots at the table (yes, even Katsuya has his own usual spot now) and had our dinner. Katsuya and Mokuba were eating with their hands, which is pretty disgusting. Pizza is so greasy! Don't they hate the way that stuff feels on their skin? I was eating mine with a knife and fork.

“Have you ever thought about grilling out and eating outside by your pool?” Jou asked, stuffing his mouth full immediately afterward.

“That would be so much fun!” Mokuba chimed, grinning from ear to ear. “We should so do that, Seto!”

I put down my silverware and dabbed the corners of my mouth with my napkin. If it's something that Mokuba really wants to do, I would love to do it, but . . . “If I told you I have no idea how to work a grill, would you believe me?”

Katsuya eyed me, swallowing his bite of pizza, “Yeah.”

“Well at least you're honest.” I picked my silverware back up to continue eating. I figured he'd say something of the sort. I don't really ever cook and I certainly don't grill . . . do we even have a grill? Oh well, I can always buy one if I don't already have one.

“Don't worry, Seto! I'll be happy to show you how to use a grill.” Katsuya threw me a smile, “I'm pretty good at cooking burgers and steaks and stuff. My friends and I grill out over at Honda's place all the time.” He seemed so proud of his ability to cook. His cooking actually wasn't that bad . . . well, as long as he didn't burn the food.

It's something that he can do, so naturally he is happy. “I'd like that a lot.” I returned his smile. If it will make him happy to teach me how to cook on a grill, I will let him teach me.

As I started eating again I stole a glance at Jou . . . but was unable to look away. Now before you go thinking that I was captivated by his looks or something creepy like that, let me tell you that he had the most awkward expression I think I've ever seen on him. I almost looked under the table to make sure he wasn't pissing his pants or something. The look he made . . . it was as if . . . something felt . . . good. Like, really good.

“You okay, Jou?” Mokuba asked, since I was currently rendered speechless.

“Yeah, I'm fine!” Jou insisted, looking from Mokuba and then to me. Well at least that frightening expression was gone! What could he have possibly been thinking about? No, I really don't want to know.

“Hey big bro, why did you buy Jou all of those clothes anyway?” Uhhhhh . . . “Is it some creepy fetish that you have?” He flashed me another grin that reminded me of Katsuya.

It isn't creepy to want the person you're dating to look halfway decent. There is nothing wrong with cleaning him up a bit. I'm sure it will boost Katsuya's confidence as well. Anyways, what kind of answer can I give Mokuba that won't give him any weird ideas? “That's not it at all. Jou is going to be living with us from now on and I'd like it if he dressed better.” A simple reason like that ought to suffice. There doesn't have to be any major underlying reason for buying him nicer clothes, does there?

“Wait, what?” Mokuba furrowed his brows and glanced from me, to Jou, and then back to me. Was it something I said? “Jou is going to be living with us?”

Had I not told him? Well, it wasn't my intention to change the subject, but this worked out rather nicely, “I didn't tell you that already?” It's not like it was some big secret. I think Mokuba will like Katsuya's company.

“No.”

“Oh . . . hey Mokuba?”

“Yeah Seto?”

“Jou is going to be living with us.” I took another bite of pizza and followed it with a smirk. Sometimes I just love being a smartass. Besides, joking around a bit would ease any tension there might have been.

“Awesome! I get another big brother!” Mokuba cheered. He really seemed to excited about it . . . it's great to see him smiling so much.

“Actually,” Jou began, “It will be like getting a dad; Seto can be like your mom and I'll be like your dad.”

. . . What?

Mom and dad? What is he implying? Why is he getting Mokuba's hopes up like that? The way he acts sometimes . . . is he really even that serious about us?

I guess I inhaled too quickly when I was about to yell something at the blond . . . because the food I should have been chewing was suddenly lodged in my throat.

I grabbed at my throat and was about to slam my back against a wall in an attempt to get the food out when Jou yelled something and yanked me from my seat. In a flash, he was behind me and performing the Heimlich maneuver (I can't believe he knows it). In a matter of seconds the food hit the nearby wall and then fell to the floor.

I stood there, gasping for air in time with the two other males in the room. Something so simple can kill a person. I know that regardless of whether Jou was here or not, someone would have helped me, but still . . . sometimes I get to thinking about what if I died. Obviously sometimes I forget what is important and do something stupid like contemplate suicide. I promised Mokuba that I would be there for him, that I would be his dad.

“Seto can be like your mom and I'll be like your dad.”

Parents . . . something Mokuba never really got to have. Gozaburo can't even be considered a father figure and aside from him . . . Mokuba has grown up with only me. If Katsuya gets Mokuba's hope up only to crush them . . .

“Is everything okay in here?”

. . . I don't know what I'd do.

Miyu entered the dining room and Jounouchi stepped away from me. For some reason I feel so pissed off right now. Just the thought of him betraying us . . . betraying my brother . . . betraying me . . .

“Yup! Jou saved Seto's life!” Mokuba clapped his hands, “I guess that I was wrong earlier, Jou! You are the boyfriend and Seto is the girlfriend!”

I glared at Jou, but . . . why am I glaring? What has he done to deserve it? I can't keep living with these uneasy thoughts. I need to know exactly what Katsuya is expecting of me and if he intends to stay with me for the long-run.

“Mokuba,” I kept my attention focused on Katsuya, “if you're finished eating please go and do as I asked.” Do as I asked . . . I've raised you properly, haven't I? You're a lot kinder than I am.

Miyu slipped out of the room like a good employee.

“But Seto, today is Saturday! There's no one at the school right now!”

“And what did I tell you to do if there wasn't anyone there?”

“. . . e-mail my teachers.”

“Please do as you're asked.”

“Yes, Seto.” He slid from his chair and left Jou and I alone.

“Jounouchi.” I have to settle this once and for all.

“Y-yeah?” Maybe I shouldn't have used his last name. He knows that something is wrong and I'm probably making him nervous . . . but I'm nervous too.

“Finish your dinner and meet me in my bedroom.” I left him alone in the dining room.

I guess that I kind of ruined dinner for the two of them. That was stupid of me to do. I hope Mokuba isn't too upset about it. I'll find a way to make it up to him. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon we can grill out by the pool for lunch. Mokuba and Katsuya will both enjoy that . . . that is, if Katsuya comes home tomorrow.

Saki . . . I swear if you do anything to hurt him . . . I'll find a way to break you.

- - -

I practically collapsed onto my own bed and sprawled out across the mattress on my back with my arms stretched out to either side. I took a quick breath and slowly exhaled, my eyes focused on the ceiling.

Will Katsuya get offended when I ask him what he wants from me? Ever since this project began I've been nothing but paranoid and, well, overemotional. I'm not afraid to admit it. I should be taking that damn medication and I'm not. I have nothing to blame for my actions these past few days but myself. Maybe I should just start taking the pills again. I know they make me feel strange, but that feeling is better than this feeling of paranoia and uneasiness. I can't go on seeing those images and hearing the voices of the past . . . I can't go on being unable to trust those that actually care about me.

At least, I think Katsuya cares about me. Everything he does seems genuine, but his actions are what worry me.

I heard someone enter my room and close the door. The visitor approached my bed. “Are you okay?” Jou's voice as quiet as he kneeled down beside me and grabbed my right hand.

His kindness must be real. If it isn't, he's a brilliant actor. Even so, I still feel like I need to ask. Asking may not prove anything, but I think it will lift a heavy weight off of my chest. “What are your intentions?” I turned my head to face him, trying not to melt from that worried look in his eyes.

“My intentions?” I suppose that was a bit vague.

“What are you expecting from our relationship?”

His lips parted and he just stared at me for a moment. “I don't know how to answer that.”

He doesn't know how to answer that? “What is that supposed to mean?” How am I supposed to react to an answer like that? For all I know, he could just be trying to come up with what I want to hear instead of telling me what he really wants.

“I mean exactly what I said!” His grip on my hand tightened almost to the point that it was painful, “I don't know what kind of answer you want from me. I freak out every time you ask me things because I'm worried that I'll answer the wrong way and you'll hate me or be cold to me again like you used to be. You're finally opening up to me and I'd like to keep it that way.”

He's worried that I'll be cold to him again? “I never meant to make you nervous . . .” I faced the ceiling again. Does he really feel like he has to watch what he says to me? It must be very stressful to be around me.

“You asked me what I'm expecting from this relationship . . .”

“You don't have to answer, Katsuya.” I turned back to him again and he looked like he was thinking hard about it. It's not fair of me to ask him a question like that when all he has done is try to get close to me. Katsuya isn't Saki and I'm just too stupid to remember that.

“I think that I want . . . I want . . .” He's not listening to me.

“Katsuya, you don't have to an-”

“Just shut up for a minute, would ya? Sorry, I don't mean it like that.” Did he just tell me to shut up? Didn't he just say he was worried about saying the wrong thing to me? “I want to answer your question as best as I can, okay? Just give me a second to get my thoughts together. You said it's bad to speak without thinking, right?” He graced me with a smile that was so like him.

It's bad to speak without thinking . . . yeah, I've said that to him numerous times. That's one trait that I've always liked about Katsuya. He may not have any one specific talent that he can show off with or use to make a nice living, but no matter what the task is he will always do his best.

“I could say some mushy stuff, I guess,” Please don't. “like I want to wake up next to you every morning or I want to kiss you goodnight before I fall asleep every night, but . . . that's not what I want to say.”

I couldn't help but laugh a little. Leave it to Katsuya to tell me what he doesn't want to say.

“In the end,” he continued, “I don't really care what happens. I'll do anything or go anywhere, as long as you're there too.”

He wants to go wherever I am? It doesn't matter what happens, he wants to be with me.

“Seto?” The sound of his voice knocked me away from my `moment'.

“Oh, uh, yes?” I sat up in my bed and slid backward to lean against the headboard. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what he just said.

“Heh, and you said that I zone out a lot. I asked you what made you ask me that question.” He joined me in my bed, my right hand still grasped in his left hand.

So he wants to know why I asked? It's only fair that I clue him in. “It's just that you always make such perverted comments and then this afternoon when we were in the hot tub . . .” I could feel heat rising to my cheeks. How far would things have gone if Mokuba hadn't come out? I get caught up in the moment far too easily. I was guilty of the same thing with Saki on several occasions; however I was able to come to my senses before I allowed him to go toofar.

“I like to joke around, and that time in the hot tub I wasn't the only one acting that way.”

Gee, thanks for calling me out like that. “I guess that I was getting a little caught up in the moment . . . but in the end, I don't think I would have done anything more than that.” Just like with Saki, I would have stopped you. Would you have been mad? “I think that it started out as a playful joke and turned into more than I bargained for.” Is that really the truth?

“You mean you were teasing me.” He poked my nose and after a matter of seconds the two of us were laughing like children.

“Teasing, huh?” I leaned my head on his shoulder; I hope he doesn't mind. “I don't really mean to be that way. Saki said I always teased him and that I was cruel for doing it.” I didn't mean to tease him, it really wasn't my intention, “He said that's why he . . .”

“He's a creepy, psychotic, fuckhead that just needs to go slide down the sharp edge of a fifty-foot razorblade into an Olympic-size pool of lemon juice so he can die from blood loss while in complete agony.” Both of his hands were now clenched into fists as he shook them in front of himself at an imaginary Kitamori Saki.

“Geez Jou, tell us how you really feel!” Mokuba approached the bed.

Tomorrow I'm getting a lock installed on my bedroom door.

I leaned away from Jou's shoulder, “Did you email your teachers?”

He sighed, folding his arms and rolling his eyes, “Yes mother.” He then followed up with a glare in my direction.

Can all of this really be excused with his age? Mokuba has been more and more moody lately and it's starting to really piss me off. “Excuse me?” I let him know through my tone that his attitude wasn't acceptable.

“I'm just kidding!” Mokuba laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of his head. “Learn to take a joke, bro! Hey, maybe now that Jou is around you'll stop acting like such an old man!”

It seems that everyone is using the `I was just joking' excuse lately. “I don't act like an old man.” I returned the glare he shot me a moment ago.

“Whatever.” That wasn't the reaction I was looking for. “Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I did like you told me to, so you can stop pestering me about it.”

“Now you need to go to bed.” Before that attitude of yours makes me hurt you.

“What? Seto, I'm thirteen years old already! Besides, it's Saturday! No school tomorrow!” He clasped his hands together in front of his chest and gave me the best puppy eyes he could muster, “Pleaaaaaaase, Seto?”

I really hate it when he looks at me that way. Well at least I can use this as a bargaining tool. “Fine, do whatever. Just don't come back in here unless it's an emergency, okay?” This way he'll leave us alone and won't burst in randomly throughout the night.

“Oh.” Mokuba narrowed his eyes and raised both eyebrows, a smirk on his lips. Shouldn't he be excited that I agreed to let him stay up? “I see.” See what? “I'll leave you two alone.” Oh for fuck's sake. “Hey Jou?”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure you use a condom and be careful with my brother; he is very thin and fragile.”

I immediately launched a pillow at him (believe me, I nearly grabbed the lamp), but he had already disappeared and shut the door behind him before it had a chance to make contact with his head. “I swear. Where does he learn things like that?” I rubbed at my face, exhausted from the events of the day. Sitting in a bed always makes me feel more tired than I thought I was.

“He's thirteen.” Katsuya reiterated for the millionth time.

“I'm going to change and go to bed.” I slid from the bed, “I know it isn't very late, but it's been a long day and I'm exhausted.” I wonder how well I'll sleep tonight.

“What will you do tomorrow when I'm at Kitamori Corporation?”

I froze in my steps on the way to my closet, “I really don't want you to go there.” Given what Saki told me earlier, I can't do anything to help Katsuya if he gets into a bad situation while he's out with Saki.

“But I'm going anyway. Besides, aren't you more afraid of what Saki might do if I don't go?”

“I know where Mokuba attends school and I'm not beyond kidnapping.”

He certainly has a point. I entered my closet to get my pajamas and found that Katsuya's were hanging right next to mine. “They washed yours and put them in here too. I don't get it. They threw your swimming trunks on my bed, but hung these up? They really must be stupid.” I tossed Jou his clothes, “To answer your question,” because I'm sure he would nag me if I didn't, “I guess I'll just go to work in the morning and take Mokuba with me.” Saki said he wouldn't do anything as long as I did what he asked, but I know from experience that his word isn't worth a grain of salt.

“That's probably best.” He stood up from my bed and unfolded his pajamas. “I guess I'll just change out here while you change in the bathroom.”

“Um . . .” I grabbed his wrist, tugging lightly. Wait, what am I doing?

Katsuya laughed, “What are you doing?” He asked me, but I just asked myself the same question.

“Um . . . you said that you didn't mind doing anything as long as I'm there, right?” What am I saying? “Well . . . I'm changing in here, so . . .” I dropped his arm. Were those words really leaving my lips? Ridiculous! “You know what? You're right.” And yet . . . “I'm being really weird right now, sorry.” . . . my heart is beating so fast at just the thought of changing together with Katsuya.

“Woah, woah, woah! Hey now, don't go changing your mind so quickly! I, Jounouchi Katsuya, would be honored to change in the bathroom with you.” He ran to the doorway, acting like a dork, “After you.” He just wanted to see me take my clothes off . . .

I punched his arm lightly as I passed him, “I love you, you damn pervert.”

. . . and I guess I'm okay with that.

- - -

I've slowed down quite a bit! So it's off to BBE 32 now, right? Day nine has finally arrived and with that day comes . . . (cue eerie music) the confrontation between Jou and Saki! Thanks for reading! Please give me your support and opinions by writing reviews! I don't know what you do and don't like unless you tell me! (and reviews make me super happy!)