Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Blue Eyes ❯ Day Six: That Victorious Smile ( Chapter 19 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Behind Blue Eyes

- - -

Recap:

I ran back into my room and snuck a peek, confirming what I had originally thought; he was snoozing safe and sound. Still, I couldn’t shake this feeling that he might be stolen away right from under my nose.

- - -

It rained that night, a gentle rain that played soothing rhythms on the building and made intricate little rivers on the windows. I watched the streams run down the glass of the window beside my bed. Normally the soft silver glow of the moon would filter in, but tonight there was only the darkness and the rain. . . and I couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t the rain or the black of night that kept me from my slumber, but rather the wild beating of my heart. Seto had snuggled up against my side all on his own and I rolled over, embracing him to make sure that he stayed there.

I tangled my fingers in his hair when he began to nuzzle my chest. “Beautiful.” I couldn’t help but whisper to his sleeping face.

“Go to sleep, Katsuya.” Seto leaned back from me, blue eyes half-lidded. “We’re going to school tomorrow.”

Oh yeah, we skipped school yesterday. I could already imagine the rumors that would go around. They would probably all think that I screwed Seto. Normally I wouldn’t mind rumors, but I didn’t want to risk Seto’s reputation. “Everyone is going to start assuming things.” What kinds of things, I didn’t specify.

“We’ll just deny everything.”

“Everything?” Couldn’t we at least tell them we were going out? Were we going out? We never really did make that clear.

“Yes, everything. There’s nothing going on between us.”

Suddenly it was hard to breathe, “What? I thought that we were. . .”

“That we were what?” His eyes were wide open now.

So that’s it then? We’re nothing? When he told me he loved me, when he returned my kisses, when we almost had sex in this very room. . . all of that was nothing?

With a force I never knew I possessed, I shoved Seto away from me and he fell from the bed with a sound of surprise and a loud thud as he hit the floor. I then leapt to my feet and headed for the door. . . but stopped and turned around. Seto sat on the floor with his legs tucked up under him, his hands flat on the carpet in front of him. He looked so innocent, so vulnerable, so. . . fuckable. Yeah, that’s it. Since we’re nothing, then he meant nothing to me. His feelings, his tears, his nightmares. . . they all meant nothing!

I came back to him, seizing him roughly by the wrists and slinging him back onto the bed. Good thing he was so light, it just made it easier to move him around.

“Jounouchi?” He asked, voice frantic with a frightened confusion as I pinned his arms above his head with one hand, using my other hand to pry his legs apart so that I could sit between them. I then allowed for my fingers to trail up under his shirt, my skin kissing the tender flesh of his stomach.

“Jounouchi, why?” Those blue eyes, I bet they were horrified. I wouldn’t know, I didn’t dare to look at them and it was too dark to see them either way.

“If we are nothing, then you are nothing to me!” I leaned down, sucking hard on his neck. That would definitely leave a mark.

“Why are we nothing?” He managed to choke out after groaning a bit during my assault on his throat.

“Because you- what?” I finally allowed myself to sit up and look into his eyes, which seemed to glow from some unknown source of light, releasing my death-grip on his wrists. I turned on the table lamp on the night stand beside my bed to get a better look. He wasn’t crying and he didn’t look dazed or afraid.

“Why are we nothing?” He repeated, though I had heard him the first time.

“You said-”

“I said nothing. I asked what we were. I wanted to hear you say it so that I didn’t risk making a fool of myself.” His eyes slid shut and I couldn’t help but brush his bangs out of his eyes. Seto swatted my hand away from his face, “But I never expected an answer like this.” His eyes were beginning to water up, but still he didn’t cry.

“I-I misunderstood.” I was still kneeling between his legs. What in the hell was I doing? Just because I was angry with him didn’t mean that I should. . . oh my God. . . is that why Saki raped him?

“You misunderstood? Is this what happens when you misunderstand someone?” His face was turning red with anger, his brows coming together to form wrinkles between his dangerously-narrowed eyes.

“No. . . don’t look at me like that, please.”

He sat up suddenly, our faces close, “You just tried to fucking ra-”

“Shut up!” I shoved him back to the bed and he just stared at me with those wide blue eyes. “I wasn’t going to. . . I would have stopped!” I would have, I really would have. I would have realized what I was doing and what effect it would have on him, and I would have ended it immediately. . . but why did I even try?

“But you shouldn’t have even started!”

“But I would have stopped! I would have stopped. . .” I found myself running my fingers through his hair and the palms of my hands along his cheeks. . . his face was wet, “Please stop crying. . . please stop.” Tears staining that porcelain face, a sin above all sins, to make something so beautiful cry.

“I’m not the one crying.” He didn’t look so furious anymore. Why should he? Here I was pointing out that he was crying. Why would he deny it now when I had already seen him cry so many times before?

“You don’t have to act so tough.” I reassured him, my thumbs inching under his bottom lip.

“Katsuya. . . youthe one crying.”

I reached a hand up to my face, “I’m not crying.” It was wet. “. . . why?”

“Genuine.”

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s midnight, go to sleep.” He turned off my lamp, enveloping us in darkness once more.

“Sleep? Now? After I just-”

“Katsuya, I believe that I’m finally beginning to understand how your mind works. . . and that’s why I’ve decided that this is okay.”

“How my mind works?” I forced out a half-hearted laugh, “Well can you clue me in, cause im totally lost.”

He sighed and shook his head, though he smiled just a bit, his white teeth just barely visible, “You’re right, you wouldn’t have done it. Now if you would kindly not sit between my legs, I could get some sleep before we have to get up for school.”

I did as he asked and laid next to him, feeling tired rather quickly. “So then what are we, Seto?”

He was quiet for a moment, his back towards me, “What do you want us to be?”

I nearly answered ‘boyfriends’, but that sounded so childish. I thought of a better response, “Together forever.”

There was only the sound of the rain as he rolled over to face me. “Katsuya. . .”

I laughed nervously, a blush burning on my cheeks, “That sounded so stupid, didn’t it? I’m not good at saying the right things.”

He snuggled against my chest, sending a warm sensation throughout my body. “If that wasn’t the right answer,” He whispered, his tenor voice barely audible above the pouring rain, “then I don’t know what is.”

I remember smiling just before sleep came and stole me away. . .

- - -

When I woke up I wasn’t even sure that I was awake. It was light a dream. Waking to a feather-light kiss on my forehead and a soft hand on my shoulder. I groaned a little in reply.

“Wake up. I made breakfast again. It’s pancakes. Sorry, that’s all I can really remember how to cook for breakfast.”

I finally opened my eyes to see Seto already in his school uniform, his body bent down towards me and a gentle expression on his face. He looked so loving and so kind. I never would have thought that he could make such a face just a week ago. Here it was, Thursday already, nearly one week after that fateful day that this project was assigned. I would have to thank Ms. Asuka for it. She was right; this was the one project that I would actually enjoy.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Came my raspy reply, smiling with half-lidded eyes.

Seto stood up straight and shook his head, blushing and smiling faintly all the while, “You’re so weird. Come on and get something to eat already. The last thing we need is to be late or absent again.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, “People are going to start assuming things.” Then it came to me, “Wait, haven’t we already had this conversation?”

Seto’s hand covered his face. He peered at me from between his fingers, “Yes, Katsuya. We had this same conversation last night. Now get your lazy ass up and come eat some damn pancakes.” He turned to leave my room

“I bet they taste like shit.”

He stopped in his tracks, facing me once more, “Oh really? And just how, dare I ask, do you know what shit tastes like?”

I smirked, sitting up in the bed, “What do you think an ass tastes like?”

His eyes went wide, “I’m going to regret this, but why in the hell would you know what an ass tastes like, or even imply that you know what an ass tastes like?”

“How would I know?” I asked, rising from the bed and coming to stand within a foot of him, the same smirk playing on my lips, “You mean you didn’t feel it? You sure felt it while I was-”

“What?!” He yelled, his voice breaking when it hit an awkward pitch.

“Woah, settle down! I’m just kidding!” When he appeared to have settled down, I reached a hand around and grabbed his ass, “Last one to the kitchen doesn’t get anything to eat!” I bolted and I could hear him stumbling after me.

- - -

Seto really didn’t give himself enough credit; he was a pretty good cook! Sure, pancakes really didn’t take much in the way of skill, but he made them absolutely perfect. . . not to mention that they just seemed to taste better because he was the one that made them. I wasn’t going to say that to him though. He probably already thought I was some love-sick puppy. . . there I go, comparing myself to a canine again.

It was Seto’s first day back to school since his little outburst. Both my brunet and Ms. Asuka said nothing to each other, doing their best to pretend that nothing had ever happened. It was for the best, I suppose. She gave me a kind of look when I first came in, kind of a ‘so, did you discuss it?’ look. I just kind of stared back, not good at the whole ‘look-exchange’ thing.

Class proceeded with it’s usual monotony. A few of my classmates would whisper to each other every now and then, their eyes drifting in either Seto’s direction or mine. Call me paranoid, but I was nearly certain that they were discussing our absence yesterday. It wasn’t a normal occurrence for Kaiba Seto to miss school, so I guess it kind of was big news. As long as they didn’t try to soil Seto’s good name, I didn’t mind what kinds of things they assumed.


First block came and went with its usual lack of excitement. Ms. Asuka just went over grammar rules (half of the things I didn’t even know were used in the English language) and then discussed the senior class’s get-together at the pool on the following day. I had completely forgotten about it! I would definitely have to get some trunks for myself. . . and quite possible Seto. Then I remembered yet another thing; I was supposed to go out with Yuugi and the others after school!

Second block, too, was nothing but one extended lecture from the teacher. I had a theory that teachers just became teachers because they liked to hear themselves talk. Screw that ‘I love the children’ bullshit that they always claim. I have never met a teacher that truly loved children, but hey, maybe that’s just me.

It was finally time for lunch, and I was in line for my usual pizza. Yuugi and the others were in line right behind me.

“Hey Jou,” It was Yuugi’s voice, “You’re still going to hang out with us after school today, right?”
I turned around to join in their little group, “Yeah, of course I am! I can’t wait! I had almost forgot about it!”

“Forgot about it?” Honda asked, his face skeptical, “You never forget things like that.”

“Well,” Anzu chimed in, “He never misses school with Kaiba Seto either.”

“Oh yeah, good point.” Honda agreed. Though he was my best friend, he really was annoying sometimes. Anzu was just annoying all the time. Why was she even in our group anyways? Oh, that’s right. . . because she was Yuugi’s only friend before Honda and I became friends with him. If I had to put up with Anzu to have Yuugi as my friend, then that was okay. Yuugi was a great guy with a big heart.

Yami no Yuugi looked royally (no pun intended) pissed, “Tell us, Jounouchi, what were you and Kaiba doing all day yesterday?” He tapped his foot, his skinny arms folded across him in some sort of authoritative manner.

“Uh, let’s see. . . Seto didn’t want to go to school yesterday, so-”

“Wait,” The former Pharaoh interrupted, “He didn’t want to go to school?” They all stared at me in disbelief.

“I just didn’t feel like it.” Out of nowhere rang that beautiful voice. Seto moved in liquid motions to stand beside me, “Is it a crime to skip school every now and then?”

Ryou looked thoughtful, “Actually, I think it-”

“Shut up.” Seto ordered, and Ryou Listened.

“What did you do, then?” Yami asked yet again, his eyes lingering on my Seto quite a bit too long for my comfort.

“We went to eat at McDonald’s,” My brunet began answering for me, “then we went shopping at the mall, then we went and hung out with Mokuba at my house, then we showered. . . then we went to a club. Heh, Jounouchi here had to borrow some of my clothes.”

“I thought you went shopping.” Yami no Yuugi arched a brow in suspicion.

“We did, but something came up and we weren’t able to purchase what we had gone there for. Don’t interrupt me.” Seto glared at him, “Let’s see. . . yes, we went to a club and. . . um. . . I’m pretty sure I got drunk, or at least a little bit. Then we ended up back at Jou’s house and. . . oh yeah, he was laying me on his bed-”

“Yeah, you go, dude!” Honda gave me an unexpected high five.

“Nothing happened, Honda.” I reluctantly told him, though it was true. Nothing had happened between us. “He was drugged-”
“Drunk.” Seto corrected.

“No, there was definitely someone putting something in your drink. I saw them do it, and then you started acting funny.” The line moved forward and we went with it.

“That’s called a mixer, dumbass. They put flavoring in the alcohol so that it tastes better. And if you had ever been drunk, then you would act funny too.”

“But you hadn’t had that much to drink!”

“The less body mass a person has, the less alcohol they can hold before they get drunk, and I may be tall, but I’m far from massive.”

I sighed defeated, “Alright, you win. Either way, you were mentally impaired, so I wouldn’t do anything.”

“Yeah,” Seto countered, apparently forgetting where we were, “But you have no problem trying things in the dead of night while I’m trying to-”

I covered his mouth with my hands, “We’re at school, in front of my friends!”

He ripped my hands away, “Yeah, they’re your friends, so they shouldn’t have a problem with us being together, right?” He smiled at me. So he was okay with it? Just last night he didn’t want to tell a soul. . . had he changed his mind? And here I was worrying that they might suspect we were together. I could feel relief coursing through me; it was a wonderful feeling.

“Together?” Honda asked, one brow significantly higher than the other. “Jou?” He gave me a very concerned look.

“Don’t worry about it, man.” I told him, holding my hands up and laughing nervously. “What are you doing in line with us, Kaiba?”

He looked. . . hurt? “You don’t want me to stand in line with you?” He really, honestly, looked hurt and upset. “Fine. I’ll just go sit down. By myself. Eating nothing.”

“Nothing?” I asked, wondering if he was so mad at me that he was going to starve himself, not that he really ate much to begin with.

“I didn’t bring my usual lunch with me today because I thought that just maybe I’d try the school food because you said that I ate too healthy and too little. So I figured, ‘hey, what could one drenched pizza hurt?’ Well, obviously it can clog my arteries and cause me to have a heart attack, but if I only eat it this once, I should be okay.” He sighed after his miniature rant, looking satisfied with himself. His hands were on his hips and he acted as though Yuugi and the others weren’t even there. Or maybe he just didn’t give a damn. . . not that he ever did.

“You’re actually going to try something?” I asked, a look of mock-shock (I know it rhymes, shut up.) on my face. I clutched at the chest of my uniform, “It can’t be! Not the great Kaiba Seto! Trying something? A change in routine?” I put the back of my free hand against my forehead, gazing dramatically upward toward the cheap lighting.

“Can it, mutt.” He snapped, folding his arms loosely across his chest, but smiling just enough for me to notice. His eyes were small slits while he stared me right in the eyes. I smiled back.

I glanced back at my huddle of friends to find Ryou standing dangerously close to us, his hands clasped together just under his chin, a ridiculous grin spread from ear to ear, “I knew it.” Came his simple statement.

“Oh shut up!” I yelled, catching more attention in the cafeteria that I had intended.

“You’re so loud!” Anzu scolded, looking around at everyone as though I had embarrassed her. She was so damn annoying, but no one had the heart to tell her that. Well, no one except-

“God damn you’re annoying.” Seto informed her, shoving his pinky finger into one of his ears and closing one eye as though to prove his point. He removed the finger when I began to snicker and cover my mouth. Again, he smiled. Did he like making me laugh.

“Oh isn’t that cute.” It was the sarcastic tone of Bakura, “The priest likes to make the puppy giggle.” He turned to a rather irritated Pharaoh, “Remember when you used to make the priest laugh, oh great Pharaoh?” He broke out into a laugh, but the students knew better than to stare at him. “Oh how the mighty have fallen!” The angered kind swung a fist at the thief, but Bakura was quick to dodge it and then continue his cackling.

“Do they always do this?” Seto asked, looking rather peeved.

“Yeah, welcome to my world.” I grinned at him.

The line was finally far up enough that we were all able to claim our crappy school food. Most of us grabbed the infamous pizza-in-a-box, while Anzu dared to buy a salad. Seto almost went for one of those nasty health foods as well, but I was able to intercept his hand before it reached the pre-made salads. “Here you go!” I chimed, handing him a pizza.

“I would say ‘thank you’, but that wouldn’t be very sincere.” He admitted, holding the box with his index finger and thumb of both hands as though the grease would leap out onto him. . . and it might, if he threw the box down onto the table with a bit too much force. Heh, that would be interesting though, seeing the pristine Kaiba Seto with a big-ass grease stain on his normally-impeccable uniform.

Though my brunet didn’t seem very willing at first, he agreed to sit with the entire group today, instead of with just me. I actually prefer it to be just the two of us, but I didn’t want to abandon my friends. It would be really cool if he could get along with them, but even I was smart enough to know that such a thing wasn’t even possible.

- - -

It went rather well, actually. Seto didn’t say a whole lot, except to pick on me a few times, but it didn’t bother me like it used to. In fact, I loved it when he picked on me, because he was paying attention to me, and I loved to have his attention focused on me. Geez, I either sounded like an obsessed girlfriend or a pathetic little kid. . . oh well, the hottest guy in the city was in love with me! Who gives a flying fuck what anyone else things of me? Haha!

I actually paid attention in math that day. Well, okay, I drifted in an out of daydreams for most of it, but I’m pretty sure that I caught the important parts, and if I didn’t, I had a really sexy tutor that would tell me how to solve the problems!

After school, we joined up with Anzu’s preppy partner, Kioko, and Yuugi’s quiet partner, Keita. Neither one of them really said anything to any of us. Keita just looked scared the entire time, and Kioko tried to be a slut around Seto, batting her eyes at him like the damned hussy she is. Seto did his best to look in whatever direction she wasn’t located. He actually shoved her away a few times when she happened to strut too close to him. I eventually had to walk between them to make sure that she wouldn’t try anything funny.

“You know,” Yuugi began, looking both ways as we approached the street in front of our school, “I’m glad that you’re finally doing things with us, Kaiba.” He turned around and flashed the CEO one of his childish smiles, nearly stepping out in front of a car. Luckily for him, Honda reached out and pulled him away from the street.

“Watch where you’re going, Yuugi!” I told him, my heart beating quickly. I didn’t even want to think about losing one of my friends. I glanced at Seto for no real reason, but he hadn’t reacted to the near-incident at all. I wondered if it bothered him to see people die. . . he had killed someone, after all, and in his little episode, he said something about a guy named Satoshi and that he had done some ‘terrible thing’.

Seto returned my stare, and this time he wasn’t smile. What was he thinking? I could never tell.


Eventually, after much caution this time, we reached the sidewalk on the other side, where the rest of our journey would take place.

“You all have fun.” Seto blurted suddenly, stopping.

“What?” I asked, and the looks on everyone’s faces asked the same question.

“I’m going back to your apartment, Jou” Jou? My nickname? “I have a lot of work to do, so you go ahead and have fun with your friends. Spend time with them. Friends are. . . irreplaceable. I’ll see you later, Katsuya.” He tried to smile, but gave up after a few failed attempts, and then turned on his heels, walking in the opposite direction.

“He said Katsuya again.” Honda decided to point out.

“I’d rather you stay with me today.” I ignored Honda, looking Seto dead in the eyes as the CEO faced us one more. Did he understand what I was saying? With Saki wandering around his house and showing up in such random places at such strange hours of both the day and night, there was no telling when he may appear next. I didn’t want to mention it in front of everyone.

“It’s an apartment; no one can see which door I enter.” He finally was able to smile a little, not minding who happened to see him, “Don’t worry, just go an have fun. I’ll see you when you get home, alright?” He traveled the few steps back to where I stood, laying a hand on my head and rubbing at my hair, making it even more of a mess than usual. Seto once again turned away, heading towards where I lived. . . had he already memorized the way?

“Seto!” I called out to him and he stopped, turning around yet again. At that moment I ran up to him, throwing my arms around his neck and crushing my lips against his. He made a slight sound of surprise, but didn’t make any gestures of protest. When I pulled away his eyes fluttered open with utmost beauty, the same smile returning to grace his features. “Be careful, okay?” I sounded like an overprotective mother, but I really didn’t want anything to happen to him.

“I understand.” He answered, leaving me once more. As much as I wanted to stop him again, I refrained and watched his back as his body became smaller and smaller in the distance.

“Jou?” Yuugi came to stand in front of me and the others followed him like sheep. “Is there something you’d like to tell us?”

I grinned, “I’m in love with Kaiba Seto.”

- - -

It took forever to get to the mall, and the entire trip all that I could think about is if Seto made it home okay. I nearly asked someone if I could borrow their cell phone so that I could call my apartment and check on him, but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to do it. When I had confessed my love for Seto to them, the two outsiders seemed absolutely shocked, while the others just grinned and laughed. It really was a strange situation, I guess. I mean, Seto and I used to always fight and be at each others’ throats! I truly hated him with ever pint of blood in my body. . . but somewhere along the way, that hate changed into something else. It’s like they say, there’s a very thin line between love and hate. I suppose that I happened to wander across that line, and I sure as hell didn’t plan on returning to the other side!

We bounced from shop to shop, mostly just looking. The girls were dragging us around to all of the places that they thought boys should shop. There were enormous swimsuit sections, and the women felt the need to pick things out for us. It was really awful and gave me one reason to appreciate growing up in an all-male household. . . and yet another reason to appreciate being gay. Gay? Wasn’t I bisexual? Nah, fuck that. I was downright gay, and I didn’t care who the fuck knew it. . . I wasn’t going to scream it in a public area or anything, but you get what I mean.

“Are you going to get something for your boy-toy?” Honda asked, making a kissy-face when he did.

“Yeah, he needs some swimming trunks. He has a huge pool at his house, but I doubt he swims in it.” I remembered the pool from Mokuba talking about it one time. What kind of thing would Seto wear, though? I couldn’t pick out anything weird; it would have to suit his style.

“How about these?” Ryou asked, appearing innocent enough (and I say ‘appear’ because we all know how deceiving and sneaky that little albino can be.). He held up a pair of very, very, very short blue swimming trunks. “They’re really popular these days!”

“What?!” I yelped, startled at the size of them. Was there even enough cloth their to cover anything? Then again, Seto’s satin boxers weren’t much longer. . .

“The priest has very nice legs; I’m sure he’ll look lovely in them.” Bakura added, and I would’ve punched him had it not meant putting my life on the line.

“Yeah. . .” Yami no Yuugi agreed, making me pissed off at him too.

“I don’t know.” I twisted my face as though it helped me think better. He would look good in them, but he might think I was a perverted. . . then again, he already thought that. “I don’t have any money.” Aha! Perfect excuse!

“I’ll buy them for you!” Yuugi beamed, snatching them out of Ryou’s hands and dashing towards the checkout line. “That’s what friends are for!”

“For buying short swimming trunks?” I asked, kind of happy that he was purchasing them for me. Seto probably wouldn’t even try them on, but at least it wouldn’t be my money wasted. Besides, the look on his face when I gave them to him was going to be absolutely priceless. The look on the female cashier’s face was priceless as well.

Kioko sighed, “It’s sad to discover that Kaiba is gay, but. . . he’d look pretty hot with another guy, now that I think about it.” She squealed slightly, blushing like the yaoi fan that most of the female population had become.

“Kaiba Seto would look fucking hot in the arms of a big, strong man.” Keita muttered. We all stared at him for the sudden comment, especially since it was the only thing that most of us had ever heard him say, but he only blinked in response.

Other than the two females of our party, none of us bought anything else. We all already had swimsuits for the upcoming cookout, and I was ready to high-tail it out of there so that I could see Seto again and give him his gift.

We said our goodbyes at the entrance to the mall. It was about 7:30 and the sun was already setting. I had to run if I wanted to get home before dark, and I did. I felt like my lungs would burst by the time I reached the stairwell of my apartment building, but the idea of seeing Seto that much sooner was totally worth it.

I could barely contain my excitement, or keep my balance for that matter, as I climbed each flight of stairs, finally standing outside the door that was so familiar to me. Standing to rest and catch my breath for a moment, I lifted my hand towards the knob. . . only to watch as it turned before I even touched it. The door began to open. Did Seto hear me coming?
No. No he didn’t. It wasn’t Seto. Seto wasn’t the one leaving my apartment.

This person, he opened the door, and he saw me. He smiled. That bastard was. . . he was smiling. Smiling why? How did he get in? That smile. That face. Those eyes.

Saki.

He left me standing there, frozen like some ancient statue. The door was left open, and it looked like hell inside, like there had been. . . a fight. Seto. Where was Seto? Seto was inside. . . Saki was leaving. . . and that smile. . .

. . . that victorious smile.

- - -