Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Bible Stories, YGO Style: Season 2! ❯ Jesus Walks On Water ( Chapter 3 )

Toboe LoneWolf: Behold! I returnth!

YGO cast: *groans*

Toboe LoneWolf: -_-;;; Is that all you can do?

YGO cast: *groans affirmative*

Toboe LoneWolf: Righto. So anyway, onward!

Disclaimer: LoneWolf neither owns YGO, the Bible, or the dust bunnies under her bed.

Story #10: Jesus Walks on Water
Aka: Look Ma! No Hands!

* * * * *

Toboe LoneWolf called out over the cast's groans. "Hey! We're starting in thirty minutes guys! We've got to be ready!"

Marik raised his head. "For what?"

LoneWolf blinked. "Another show, that's what!"

Cast groan.

LoneWolf grimaced. "Come on, they're not too bad…."

Kaiba snorted. "They're pathetic."

*And so the next ten minutes or so revolved around LoneWolf chasing Kaiba around, crying, threats of vague torture/demise, more crying, much depression, and so on and so forth, but eventually LoneWolf retrieved most of her sanity and we continue with the story.*

LoneWolf flipped a page on her (battered) clipboard. "Okay! We're doing 'Jesus Walks on Water' next! Casting…"

The cast held its breath.

"Ryou as Jesus!"

Ryou blinked. "Excuse me?"

LoneWolf nodded. She counted off Ryou's credentials on her fingers. "Needs to be 1) light, 2) small, 3) scary."

"Eh?!?!"

LoneWolf blinked. "Well, the disciples get scared of Jesus walking on water, see, and they think he's a ghost…so…Ryou's small, and light, and he's got white hair…"

Ryou made a face. "It's natural!"

"I know that!" LoneWolf threw up her hands. "It's easier without a wig, okay!"

The cast members blanched at that thought.

…Wigs…

LoneWolf shrugs. "So anyway…we need a Peter…so let's make it…Duke. You haven't been in one for awhile. And we need the other eleven disciples, so…" LoneWolf pointed at random YGO bishies. "Yami, Bakura, Tristan, Yami Marik, Rashid, Joey, Yugi, Pegasus, Mako, Kaiba, Mokuba. There we go, all set!" She clapped her hands. "On with the show!"

* * * * *

Lights dim.

"After the miracle of feeding the five thousand, Jesus sent his disciples to get into a boat and go ahead of him to the other side of the lake."

Lights turn on to see Ryou handing the toy boat created during the Noah-play to his disciples.

"Go to the other side of the lake." Ryou pointed to the opposite end of the stage.

The spotlight turns to reveal the lake.

…A child's swimming pool. A fairly large child's swimming pool, but…still.

…But anyway…

"Jesus went up on a mountain side to pray. In the middle of the night, Jesus went out to his disciples, who were out in the middle of the lake."

Ryou got down on his knees and fervently prayed, "Oh please oh please oh please oh please have mercy on me…"

LoneWolf facefaulted. Ryou continued.

…And so the moment of truth came. Ryou got up, walked over to the swimming pool, and stepped in.

And because he stepped on conveniently placed clear shaped boxes in the swimming pool, Ryou was "walking" on water.

Yeah. In circles.

While the toy boat floated in the middle of the pool.

Behold LoneWolf's sad special effects.

"When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified and cried out in fear, for they thought he was a ghost."

The spotlight (and camera) focused on the toy boat. Well, actually it was LoneWolf’s old camcorder borrowed and hooked up to a bigger television set, but at least the inhabitants of the toy boat were...visible.

…Behold the disciple Lego figures.

And the twelve Lego disciples, given voices by the cast members, screamed in fear.

"Aaaaaaahhh! Don't step on us!"

"Have mercy!"

"Don't eat me! I swear I will return every piece of underwear!"

….

Ryou twitched. "Bakura…"

"…Shoot."

LoneWolf shook her head. Bakura, Bakura… She spoke into the microphone, continuing the narration. "But Jesus said to them, 'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.' "

"Ah…it's me, guys. Don't be afraid."

"It's a blinkin' fifty foot towering Ryou. I've got a lot of reasons to be afraid." Joey muttered.

LoneWolf facefaulted. Alright, so there was something majorly wrong with the huge proportion differences. Was it her fault she couldn’t get a life-sized boat? Lord of the Rings had miniatures, why couldn’t she?

"And Peter said, 'Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water.' And Jesus said, 'Come.' Then Peter got down from the boat, walked on water and came toward Jesus."

Duke spoke, through his miniature figure. "Can I play too?"

…Major sweatdropping.

"Sure…" Ryou bent down and carefully placed the Lego figure on the box next to his foot, so the Peter-Lego-figure was walking on water.

"Look ma! No hands!"

…more sweatdropping.

"But when Peter saw the wind, he was afraid, and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!' "

At this point the hidden disco ball turned on and a psychedelic show lasted for about 5.2 seconds, long enough for Ryou to blow the Peter-Lego-figure off the box with careful application of breath and toe, into the middle of the "lake," where he began to sink.

"Aaaaaahhhh! I'm sinking! I'm sinking! Saavveeee meeeee!!!!"

Duke is such a good voice-actor.

"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith, why did you doubt?' "

Ryou bent down and fished the plastic figurine out of the water. "Why didn't you trust me?"

"I'm plastic."

…

…continuing…

"And when they climbed into the boat, the wind had died down. And the people on the boat were amazed."

So the backstage fan turned off and all the Lego figures bowed down to Ryou.

…Which was most disturbing.

LoneWolf stared at the prostate Lego figures on the boat. "So anyway, the moral of this story is to trust in Jesus."

*Curtain falls*

Toboe LoneWolf: -_- I don't think this was on par with the others. *sighs* Converting this to prose is hard. I hope it still had funny parts in it though…ja ne!