Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Bible Stories, YGO style ❯ Story#7: Joesph ( Chapter 7 )

Toboe LoneWolf: I'M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVEE!

Djanil: >.< Keep saying that and you're dead.

Toboe LoneWolf: Metaphorically speaking, I hope…

Djanil: *yawns* *shows teeth*

Toboe LoneWolf: Ooookkay…moving on then…

*looks at reviews* Wow. Just, like, wow. This is the time for seriousness. *stands up* *spotlight* I wanna say thanks to all of ya out there. Can't write without support, especially if you're doing humor. You guys rock. *slaps herself* Alright, that's enough seriousness. *waves arms* CUT THE LIGHTS!!

Disclaimer: Toboe LoneWolf does not own the legal rights to YGO. … But she's trying. ^^ Just kidding.
Warning: This chapter is rated PG because the story of Joseph has a…mature…character. XD Of course I've messed with it…but the principle's the same…

Story #7: Joseph
Aka: Me Need Food

(*drum roll* With the amount of reviews this fic has gotten, Toboe LoneWolf was able to actually get a real stage and good costumes. *cheers from cast* Prepare to be astounded with actual working lights, sound effects, and *gasp* leather costumes. Alright, so the more exotic costumes and set pieces are not exactly…up to par…but hey, they're kinda hard to find…)

~ CAST ~

Joseph -- Joey (Well, it's kinda obvious…)

Jacob -- Kaiba (^_^ Oh, what a great father-son relationship we'll have…)

Rueben -- Duke (Dark boy be Duke. ^^)
Benjamin -- Ryou (Aww, the widdle fav brother…)
Judah -- Yugi (The sacrificial lamb-- *hears yells* Oops. Spoke too soon)
Them Other Brothers -- Tristan, Espa Roba, Mako, Weevil, Rex, Bandit Keith, Rashiid, Mokuba

Slave Caravan -- Marik (He's the only one who works with camels…)

Potiphar -- Pegasus (Ah, Peggsie…buyer of slaves…)

Potiphar's Wife -- Mai (O_O Mai forced me…)

Pharaoh -- Yami (Yep, back to normalcy…*reads script*…relatively…)

Cook -- Yami Marik (Ole! It's za flambe! ^_^)

Wine Taster -- Bakura (See, Bakura has more alcohol tolerance than Yami Marik…)

Fat Cow -- Grandpa (He was a good cow…*nodnod*)
Skinny Cow -- Strings (…And he was a bad sheep.)

Fat Corn -- Ishizu (We just need to plump her up…O.o)
Skinny Corn -- Tea (Yes, Tea is the ravaging, hungry plant carnivore…O_O)

~ COSTUMES ~

Joey -- School jacket spray painted with lots of pretty colors; later Egyptian kilt and all from Yami's closet…and leather…

Joey: I thought you'd get better costumes!

Toboe LoneWolf: *wails* Joseph costumes are expensive! Plus, they're really hard to get on to; it's a popular story! … And hey, at least your costume's comfortable.

Joey: *shakes jacket* *jacket crackles due to hardened paint* …-_-…

All Brothers and Kaiba -- Proper robes, headdress, and beard. Additional props:

Kaiba -- his robe is slightly frayed (to signify age), shepherd's staff
Duke -- "I AM #1" sign
Ryou -- minus the beard, plus chibi-enhancing stuff for kawaiiness, aka sugar and pixie sticks
Yugi -- shepherd's staff (for authority…and also to make him seem taller)

Yugi: *waves staff* Whee! *twirls around swinging staff*

Ryou: *bounces around* *grabs staff* *is swung around and around and around (and why Yugi is able to lift him? ^^ Chibified)* *launches off* *hits Kaiba on head* *clutches head*

Kaiba: OW! *claws at Ryou with staff* *Ryou falls off*

Ryou: *teary eyes* Sowwey, daddy…

Everyone: O_O

Marik -- his ghoul outfit (purple robe and hood) and lots of chains. Oh, and a camel.

Pegasus -- his Egyptian attire from his archeology days

Mai -- silky cool Cleopatra outfit

Mai: Now this is more like it. *twirls dress around*

Toboe LoneWolf: ^_^ Finally, I can get decent costumes! No more Barbie outfits!

Yami -- his pharaoh's outfit, that is, cool purple cloak, lots of gold jewelry, and white tunic. And some extra stuff… ^_^

Yami Marik -- Well, he's an Egyptian cook. Which means, Egyptian kilt, headdress, white tunic and a bread paddle. And something else he insisted on having, although extremely historically inaccurate…

Yami Marik: *waves flamethrower* Extra toasty bread!

Bakura -- Pegasus's wine glass and wine bottles, and his Egyptian robes, which was a red robe. With deep, deep pockets. (He is the King of Thieves…)

Grandpa & Strings -- cow outfits, with some alterations:
Grandpa -- added extra padding and grass on the mouth. 'Cause he's supposed to eat a lot.
Strings -- removed any padding and shrink-wrapped costume around Strings with a vacuum.

Ishizu & Tea -- corn outfits bought from costume place, with some alterations:
Ishizu -- added extra padding and face-painted her face to look all yellow and happy
Tea -- removed any padding and shrink-wrapped costume like Strings, and also face-painted Tea with rotting corn

Serenity (who was the face painter): ^_^ Smile, Ishizu!

Ishizu: *forced smile* ^_^;;;;;;;;;;;;

Tea: I…can't…breathe…too…tight…

Toboe LoneWolf: ^^ Oopsie! Sorry!

Ryou: *runs by on sugar high* WAAAIII!!! ^_^

Toboe LoneWolf: …I believe it's time to start…

~ STORYTIME!!! ~

~ Act 1: Joey the Fortuneteller (O_O) ~

Narrator: Now Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him.

[offstage] Kaiba and Joey: *unwilling to dance onstage as script directs them to* *glare at each other* *begin staring contest*

(After this point in time a great many things occurred, namely the attempts of Toboe LoneWolf to get the two said characters onstage and the said characters refusing to, which involved threats, blackmailing, fighting in general, and Yami Marik crying over the usage of his flamethrower that he didn't get to use first.)

[offstage] Yami Marik: *sobs* It- *hiccup* was brand-new… *hiccup*

(And anyway, the end result was that by divine authoress powers Toboe LoneWolf managed to get Kaiba and Joey onstage, and managed to get Kaiba to "give" Joey the beloved robe to his beloved son. Ahem.)

Kaiba: (beard is half ripped off, robe slightly charred) *glares*

Joey: (is completely blackened from bomb given to him from Kaiba that came with the required jacket, along with various bruises that came from Kaiba's staff) *glares*

Narrator: … When Joseph's brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to them.

Duke: *rants and waves the "I AM #1" sign* I should have gotten the jacket! *points finger* You cheated!!

Yugi: Hey! I'm the King of Games! I should get it!

[offstage] Yami: HEY! I'm the King of Games! Plus, I'm Pharaoh!

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: You don't count.

[offstage] Yami: WHAAAT!?! Why I oughta--

Narrator: --Ahem. Now, Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.

(Scene change. At night. Dark (duh). Lots of beds.)

Joey: *in bed* YAAAHHH! *wide eyed* I had a dream…

Tristan: Oh goodie. What is it this time? A monkey and you baking brownies?

Joey: >.<

Narrator: Joseph told them, "We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your staves gathered around mine and bowed down to it."

Joey: We were playing Duel Monsters when my Red Eyes Black Dragon stood up and fried all of your monsters. Then you guys all bowed down to my superior dueling skills.

Everyone: …

All: NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Kaiba: My Blue Eyes White Dragon would annihilate your dragon!

Narrator: -_- Now Joseph's brothers had gone to graze their flocks of sheep. Jacob sent Joseph to them to see if all was well.

Kaiba: Hey. Go see if my other sons are okay.

Joey: *bounces out the door* Alright! Anything to get outta here, old man!

Kaiba: >.<

Narrator: But Joseph's brothers saw him the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.

Duke: …So we've got the rope, the anvil, the flamethower, and the pudding?

Tristan: All set!

Duke: ^_^ Revenge is sweet…

Joey: *walks towards them* *whistles*

Mokuba: *jumps out from behind bushes* Attaaaaaaaaaackk!!!!!

*brothers mob Joey, slather him with pudding (chocolate and vanilla) from head to toe, and tie/stick Joey on top of the anvil*

Rashid: *solemnly* And now we shall sacrifice this puny mortal to Exodia.

Joey: O__O

*all brothers dance around the "offering" *

Bandit Keith: *revs up the flamethrower* One charred and nicely burnt offering for Exodia comin' right up!

Flamethrower: FLOOOSSHH!

Joey: YAAAAHHH!

Narrator: O_O WhenReubenheardofthishetriedtorescueJosephfromtheirhands!!!

Duke: What?!

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: SAVE HIM!

Duke: What the-- *bonked by flying bucket of water* OW!

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: YOU CAN'T HAVE THE LEAD CHARACTER DIE NOW!

[offstage] Yami: *mutters* Yeah, but he can die later if it’s a tragedy.

Everyone: O.o

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: *screams all the louder* GAAAH! DUKE, I HAVE AUTHORESS POWERS AND I WILL USE THEM IF YOU DON'T--

Duke: Eep! *tackles Bandit Keith with bucket* *knocks flamethrower*

Joey: *is thankfully alive because the slathered pudding all over him burned first* *whimpers in thanks*

Narrator: …So Joseph's brothers took his robe and threw him in a dry well.

Espa Roba: *looks dubiously at charred Joey* We have to get his jacket…out of all that?

Joey: *mutters* Well it's your own fault…

Ryou: PUDDING! *leaps on top of Joey and begins to eat at the candy rope and lick away pudding*

Everyone: … *facefaults*

Joey: O_O

Ryou: *lick* *lick* *slurp* ^_^ *lick*

(eventually the pudding is licked away and the rope bitten through)

Joey: *jumps up* I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Rex: *leaps over* *grabs jacket so as to stop Joey from getting away* *slick jacket slips*

Joey: *falls into hole* HEY!

Weevil: *looks at soggy/crinkly jacket* Eeewww…

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: O_O I know this isn't nice and is irrelevant, but it kinda looks like boogers…

Everyone: …

Narrator: Then they saw a caravan coming towards them, loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were headed for Egypt.

[offstage] Marik: *on top of camel* Go, uh… whatever-your-name-is…

[offstage] Camel: *turns head* *glares*

[offstage] Marik: I mean, move forward, uh…Bessie? Fluffy? Camella?

[offstage] Camel: *spits at Marik*

[offstage] Marik: *face now covered in green, slimy spit* …

[offstage] Yami Marik: I'll help! ^_^ *turns on flamethrower* *aims right at camel's tail* *Flamethrower goes FLOOOSSSHH!!*

Camel: O_O WHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHH! *enter stage left, tail on fire and screaming like a monster*

Marik: *bucking on top of camel like horse rodeo, except now it's camel rodeo* YAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Everyone: O_O

Narrator: Er…Judah said to his brothers, "What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our flesh and blood." His brothers agreed.

Yugi: *Gets evil idea via Yami* … ^_^ Hey, I know! Let's torture Joey some more by selling him to that wacko over there! *points to flying Marik off of camel*

Marik: Eeeeeeeee-- *THUMP*

Bandit Kieth: ^_^ Yea! Get some money offa this kid!

Joey: (from hole) Yuuuuuge! I'm your bud!

Yugi: *yells down hole* Not in this story you aren't!

[offstage] Tea: O_O YOU BROKE THE RULES OF FRIENDSHIP! I MUST SAVE--

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: *whacks Tea* *Tea wobbles, and topples over with a THUD* -_- We won't need her for awhile anyway…

Narrator: So they pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the merchant, who took him to Egypt.

Yugi: Twenty-five.

Marik: Fifteen. He's not good quality.

Yugi: Twenty-two. He's young.

Marik: Seventeen. Young people get into trouble.

Yugi: Twenty. He can do good dog impressions.

Joey: HEY!

Marik: … ^_^ Twenty it is! Sold to the little boy--

Yugi: HEY! *waves staff*

Marik: --in a beard and waving a Big Stick. One doggie boy for twenty industrial size Pixi Stix.

Yugi: *grabs Pixi Stix* YEA!

Everyone: O_O

Ryou: *bounces over* Mwhee? ^_^

Yugi: O_o *sees the HUGE chibi eyes of Ryou* Pixi Stix for everyone…

Narrator: Then they took Joseph's robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood.

Rex: *holding jacket in one hand and Pixi Stix on other* *sucks on Pixi Stix* It's already dipped in charred pudding.

Mako: Umm…add food coloring?

Mokuba: Naaaww, just add strawberry sauce…

Narrator: O.o … They took the ornamented robe back to their father and said, "We found this. Examine to see whether it is your son's robe." He recognized it and said, "It is my son's robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him."

Duke: *dumps jacket Kaiba's lap* We found this charred thing. Check to see if it was your favorite poopsie son.

Kaiba: >.< Yeah. *pushes jacket off lap and onto floor* My Blue Eyes White Dragon must have eaten him and spat this jacket out. *raises eyebrow* With a dessert of pudding.

Mokuba: *solemnly* Yeah, the Great Pudding Monster from above swooped down and ate Joey.

Everyone: O_o

Narrator: … Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for many days.

Kaiba: I am NOT doing that! *flying potato sack bonks Kaiba on the head*

(--speed forward time. It is sufficient to say that there was much yelling and running and blackmailing to get Kaiba into this proper state--)

Kaiba: >_<

(Toboe LoneWolf has (ahem) forced Kaiba into a potato sack, and because of the fire safety concerns of the auditorium, has used silver glitter instead of ashes on poor Kaiba's head. Laugh and be amused.)

Narrator: Y-yes…Erhm…*reads* Now Joseph was taken down to Egypt and sold to Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh's officials.

(Marik manages to get off his camel. He stands up on a platform and a trail of very reluctant slaves follow. Namely Rashid and Tea, also in potato sacks. And little else.)

Marik: Come one! Come all! Finest slaves in all of Egypt! We have the strongest slaves, able to do the hardest labor, the prettiest wenches to gawk at, and…(drags out Joey in a dog suit) the finest entertainers for your dinner parties!

Joey: HEY!!!!

Mai: Oooooh! He's so cute! Peggie, can we get him?

Pegasus: Oh yes, Mai dear. We'll have lots of fun with him.

Joey: O_O I ain't likin' this…

Narrator: …*reads script*…O_o…Er…"Now Joseph was hot."

Everyone: …

Toboe LoneWolf: What?

Narrator: *coughs* "So hot, in fact, that Potiphar's wife succumbed to his 'hotness' and said, 'Come to bed with me!' "

Everyone: …

Mai: WHAT?!?!

Joey: O_o In a way that's nice, but--

Mai: *looks at Joey up and down slowly*

Joey: --also very disturbing.

Toboe LoneWolf: Cultures were different back then.

Kaiba: *sees Mai twitch* Not much.

Narrator: But Joseph said no and ran away. But Joseph had left his cloak behind and Potiphar's wife plotted against him.

Joey: *very antsy* Er, very nice Mai, I'll be going now-- *runs*

Mai: Not yet! *grabs Joey and yanks him back* *rips off jacket to reveal Joey bare-chested in that white Egyptian kilt thingy* O_O

Joey: …What, you don't like it? *twirls* Hottest Egyptian fashion.

Everyone else: *facefaults*

Narrator: Potiphar's wife told her husband that Joseph had come to sleep with her. Enraged, Potiphar threw Joseph into the dungeon.

Pegasus: *pulls Mai close* Now Joey-boy, no taking my wife! My darling Mai!

Mai: *whacks him with the jacket* Sicko.

Narrator: And so Joseph languished in jail. And he met the Pharaoh's cupbearer and baker in the jail, who had some wacko dreams, and Joseph interpreted them.

Bakura: It's not fair! Why do I have to be in jail! I'm the king of thieves! I never get jailed!

Joey: Lemme guess. You stole Yami's finest wine?

Bakura: …

Yami Marik: And got drunk and got caught, of course.

Bakura: …The little voice in my dream told me to. *pouts*

Joey: Oh? What did you dream?

Bakura: I dreamed that I saw this vine with huge grapes on it. And the voice said, 'I'm hungry.' And I said, 'Me too.' And the voice said, 'Let's eat the grapes' and I said, 'okay!' And I got my cup and I mashed those grapes like they were the Pharaoh's head and I gave it to the Pharaoh for some reason, because my head voice said so.

Yami Marik: That is so messed up.

Joey: *blinks* Um…that means that you're getting your job back.

Yami Marik: Hey! No fair! He stole the wine!

Bakura: You drank it too!

Yami Marik: Because my head voice told me to!

Joey: O_o So…what did it say?

Yami Marik: Well I dreamed that I was outside with a basket of bread. And a bunch of birds came swooping in to eat it. And the head voice said, 'Burn them up!' and I said 'okay!' and I turned on my flamethrower and charred them all up and I was going to bake blackbird pie but I burned all the bread.

Joey: *blinks* Um…that means you're going to die.

Yami Marik: What?!?!

Narrator: And it came to pass that what Joseph foretold came true.

(Because of the need to keep her characters alive, Toboe LoneWolf regrets that she cannot have a live acting of this part of the show.)

Toboe LoneWolf: But we can use special effects!

(Lights go haywire. Fog. Yami Marik dragged in unwillingly. Sounds of 'NOT MY FLAMETHROWER!!' The disco ball and its psychedelic effect. Strobe lights. A long wail, and a flashing of The Hanging Rope against the back of the stage.)

Toboe LoneWolf: *solemnly* And thus did Yami Marik die.

Yami Marik: *rises* I LIIIIVE!!

Everyone: GAH!

Toboe LoneWolf: *kicks Yami Marik offstage* You're supposed to be dead!

Narrator: …Time passed. And then Pharaoh had a dream.

(Change scene. Bedroom. Dark. A huddled lump under the covers.)

Yami: *shakes* *sits up* *screams* ARRRRGGGHH!!!

Bakura: *wakes up on other side of stage* Stupid Pharaoh and his nightmares! *runs in* Pharaoh! Shut up!

Yami: *clutches Kuriboh plushie* I had a dream.

Bakura: Uh huh.

Yami: A really, really scary dream with cows.

Bakura: …

Yami: And my head voice said that you would fix it.

Narrator: …And the cupbearer remembered Joseph, and they brought him in to interpret the Pharaoh's dream.

Joey: So…what's your dream?

Yami: Well…there were these seven fat cows.

(More fog. Enter Grandpa on other side of stage in his cow suit, with a piece of paper on his back that says, "Times seven" because Toboe LoneWolf doesn't have seven cow suits.)

Grandpa: Moo.

Yami: And then there came seven skinny cows that ate the fat cows all up.

Strings: Moo?

Toboe LoneWolf: *kicks Strings* Eat!

Strings: Moo hungry!

(Then comes an amusing episode of Strings chasing Grandpa around the stage. Until Grandpa, greatly fearing for his life, runs offstage. Many crashes and yells are heard. Toboe LoneWolf, fearing for the safety of her actors, runs backstage.)

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: No! Bad cow! Cannibalism bad!

Everyone: O_O

Yami: …In my second dream there were seven good, fat stalks of corn.

(Enter Ishizu. Well, more like waddle Ishizu, since she has now become a very plump stalk of corn.)

Ishizu: This is so humiliating.

Yami: And then seven other stalks of grain sprouted, and they were withered and thin. And the thin heads of grain swallowed up the seven good heads of grain.

Tea: *runs in* Arrgh! Die woman! Friendship shall win! *pounces on Ishizu, who is too fat to get away on time*

(Unfortunately Ishizu is too fat and plump, and rolls right over Tea. And squashes her. Continuing to roll, Ishizu rolls offstage, with Tea squashed into her well-padded costume)

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Toboe LoneWolf: That wasn't good.

Narrator: And Joseph told Pharaoh what his dreams meant, and advised him.

Joey: …Okaaaay. Pharaoh, that meant that Egypt's gonna have seven fat years of prosperity followed by seven years of famine. And if I were you I'd get someone smart to organize and store food during the good times. Like me.

Yami: Okay. Joseph, you're my second-in-command! And men shall shout before you, "Make way!" and they shall bow down to you, for you are in charge of whole of Egypt.

Joey: O_o I am?

Narrator: And to make a long story short, Joseph did and Egypt prospered.

~ Act 2: Joey Da Man (O_O;;;;;) ~

(Enter Joey with costume change. As in, leather costume change. Fangirls, drool now. Your knight in shining armor-- well, black leather. Waltzes center stage.)

Joey: I'm hot hot hot!!!

Everyone: *facefaults*

Joey: *raps (badly)* I've got da bling, I've got da girls (to whereupon Mai languishes next to him), I've got da POWER!!!

(Money. Limousine. Toboe LoneWolf abuses the special effects capabilities of the new auditorium.)

[offstage] Yugi: *mutters* Now when did this become a modernized form of Joseph?

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: Because special effects are cool? …Or would it offend you to say that Joey looks good in leather?

[offstage] Yugi: -_-

Narrator: Then came the years of famine. But because of Joseph's planning, there was food in Egypt. And all the countries came to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph, for the famine was severe in all the world.

(Ominous rumbling. Enter stage right with rolling Ishizu, who apparently is still rolling around with a squashed Tea on her.)

Ishizu: Help…me…

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

Joey: Well…we still…have…food…

Narrator: When Jacob learned that there was food in Egypt, he said to his sons, "Why do you just keep looking at each other? I have heard there is grain in Egypt. Go down there and buy some for us."

(Scene change. The dinner table. Exactly one plate. With one yellow pea on it.)

Everyone: *stares*

(The pea, with its small stature, falls apart in the wake of their hungry gazes into twelve little pieces.)

Duke: I get the biggest one! *reaches over*

Ryou: NO! MINE! *jumps on table and licks plate clean*

Everyone: *stares in shock*

Ryou: *whimpers* Wanna candy…wanna Pocky…wanna Pixi Stix…

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: Uh-oh. Sugar withdrawal--

Ryou: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Everyone: *stares dully*

*TV magically turns on* *A commercial is showing* *food is displayed* *everyone's mouth starts to water*

Joey's voice: We've got it all! We've got hamburgers, we've got pizza, we've got the finest wine, and we're stuffed! Come to Egypt to buy food! We're hot hot hot!!!

Kaiba: …THAT DOES IT!!! *turns the TV off* WE'RE COMING AFTER YOU! YOU AND YOUR FOOD!!

Tristan: Whada?

Kaiba: *kicks them out the door* Go over there and buy some food before I decide to feed you to my dragons!

Narrator: --But Jacob did not send Benjamin.

Kaiba: Aw shoot. *grabs Ryou's bouncing back* You're staying with me.

Ryou: NO! WANNA GO TO LAND OF MILK AN' HONEY!!!

Kaiba: O_o

Narrator: Now Joseph was governor of the land, the one who sold grain to all the people. So Joseph's brothers bowed down to him. Though Joseph recognized him, his brothers did not.

Brothers: *bow down* Give us food, oh great one…

Joey: Hey, this feels familiar…*snaps fingers* That dream I had! *gets devious thought* You're all spies!!!

Duke: What?!? We are honest men!!

Joey: *stares at Weevil* Yeah right.

Yugi: We are all the sons of one man. The youngest is with our father in Canaan.

Joey: No, you're all in a conspiracy to take over the world! But I'll stop you!

Yugi: O_o

Joey: *continues* I'll bet you were gonna assassinate me! And then the Pharaoh! Well that's not going to happen! Guards, seize them!

(Yami Marik and Bakura grabs them, Yami Marik adding convincing with his flamethrower)

Toboe LoneWolf: Uh…

Narrator: And Joseph commanded that one of them would stay in Egypt while the others would go back and bring back their youngest brother as proof that they were not spies.

Joseph: Aw, man? Okay, chuck that big one down the hole.

(The 'big one' happens to be Rashid, who stoically is lowered into a hole as Yami Marik laughs and waves his flamethrower in a pyrotechic celebration.)

Joey: *sees some of the stage curtains crisp* Okay Marik, go back to baking bread.

Yami Marik: I'm dead! I can do whatever I want!

Bakura: *hits Yami Marik over the head* You're dead.

Narrator: And to make a long story short, they ran out of food again and had to come back to Egypt, this time bringing their youngest brother.

Ryou: Yay! Candy an' cake an' lots an' lots of ice cream!

Yugi: How many times have I told you, Egypt doesn't have ice cream…

Narrator: When they met again, Joseph had a big dinner for all of them.

Joey: ^____^ Let's eat!!!

(Being that there are twelve guys, all hungry, dinner time was very interesting…)

Joey: Mph! Pass--*swallow*--the chicken!

Tristan: Sorry, I took the last piece.

Joey: Hey! I'll jail you for that!

Tristan: Meep! Here!

Narrator: And Benjamin's portion was five times bigger than anyone else's.

Joey: Oh yeah! For the youngest one, I had the cooks do something extra special! *waves* Bring in the cake!

(Yami Marik rolls in a huge, frosted bedecked cake)

Ryou: *in shock* WAII!! *leaps*

*splat*

(Cake and frosting flies everywhere, and Ryou sits happily in a crater of cake and frosting.)

Ryou: ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

Narrator: …Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of the house: Fill these men's sacks with as much food as they can carry, and give their silver back as well. Then put my silver cup in the sack of the youngest one.

Joey: Stuff 'em full, and put this *reverently takes out Red Eyes Black Dragon plushie* in the little one's sack.

Grandpa: *eyes plushie* *plushie squeaks* O.o Right…

Narrator: So when they left, Joseph sent his steward after them, telling him to say, "Why have you repaid good with evil?"

*Enter a camel-chasing scene. You know, like a police-car chase scene, except with camels. And they're going around in circles on the stage.*

Grandpa: STOP THIEVES!!!

Bandit Keith: AS IF!!!

Grandpa: Spit, Bessie!

*Grandpa's camel spits and hits the special button on the stage floor which opens up a hole and all the camels fall down.*

[offstage] Toboe LoneWolf: I love this new auditorium.

Grandpa: You're under arrest for stealing the Pharaoh's second-in-command's favorite plushie!!

Duke: Yeah right! Why in the world would we want to steal a plushie?

Yugi: Yeah, we have way cuter ones! *pulls out Dark Magician plushie* *plushie squeaks*

Grandpa: O_o Then how do you explain this? *dramatically opens Ryou's sack and pulls out Red Eyes Black Dragon plushie*

Ryou: NO!!! MINE!!!

Grandpa: Ah-HA!

Ryou: *pouts* Didn't do it!

Narrator: And so the brothers returned to Joseph, and Joseph commanded that the one who had taken his cup would remain in Egypt as his slave.

Joey: *points at Ryou* So it was YOU! You shall be my slave and walk my dog and wipe my shoes and do other slave-like things!

Ryou: *Huge, big, puppy-dog eyes*

Narrator: Then Judah went up to Joseph and said, "Our father loves his youngest son dearly and that is why he was so reluctant to send him with us the second time. If the boy is not with us when we return, our father will die from grief. I your servant guaranteed your son's safety to my father. So please, let your servant remain here as your lord's slave and let the boy return to his father."

Yugi: *blinks* Ah…our father will be seriously depressed, so take me instead?

Joey: Hmmm…*thinks*…Advantage: revenge. Disadvantage: …what would be the disadvantage?…

[offstage] Kaiba: *mutters* Who said I'd be depressed?

Narrator: Then Joseph could no longer control himself and commanded his attendants to leave him. Then he cried out, "I am Joseph your brother!"

Joey: Heyla guys! I'm Joseph!

Yugi: GAAH! IT'S A GHOST!!!!

Narrator: Joseph told them, "It is I, the one you sold into Egypt! But do not worry, for God sent me here to save lives."

Joey: Yeah, remember me? You sold me to that wacko on the camel. But behold! I have survived and become this great power in Egypt who saved many lives and everyone shall remember me as Great Joey, Savior of the World, Giver of Food! *strikes dramatic pose*

Everyone: O_o

Yami: I'm Pharaoh! You're still second in command!

Joey: Buggers.

Narrator: So they brought Joseph's father to Egypt, there was a happy family reunion, and they lived happily ever after.

(Big family scene. Dinner. Party. …Well, sort of, with scowling Kaiba.)

*sounds of "We are family!"*

Ryou: Yea! Candy!!!

Kaiba: GAH! NO!

Ryou: *bounces off the walls in sugar-highness*

Narrator: So…the moral of this story was that God can use evil for good.

Kaiba: *points to bouncing Ryou* And that, is pure evil.

Toboe LoneWolf: *blinks* But it's so cuuuute…

Kaiba: O_o

*curtain falls*

Toboe LoneWolf: And that's it. @_@ Loooong. *clears throat* And I have to say something else: This is the last chapter. … But never fear! Wackiness will still be here! *strikes pose* For I shall post up Bible Stories, YGO Style: 2! Please read my bio for details and reasons. *waves* Thanks y'all, review please, and stay tuned! Ja ne!