Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet Victory ❯ Bittersweet Victory I ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: *points to sign* YU-GI-OH DOES NOT BELONG TO ME *cries* Not fair… ;-;

Warning: M/M Sex *gasp*

A/N: A Shameless plot what plot? Maybe… I really don't know if this qualifies. I have to confess this is my very first lemon ever. As with my first and still ongoing fic, this one came out of a dream that I had, so please don't kill me at how it ends. Hey, don't just skip down to the end you'll miss all the good stuff. Ummmm…..Since this is my first lemon, please tell me what you think of it, is it any good or should I never, ever write one again for as long as I live? More A/N can be found after the story. Enjoy. ^_~

Oh, and before I forget, sorry if the layout confuses anyone…thoughts kinda blend in…



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Bittersweet Victory



I can't suppress the smile that graces my lips as I look down upon the gorgeous naked body set before me. His eyes closed, fists clenched tightly in the sheets by his sides, his breathing low and shallow. The pale skin of his prone body a stark contrast with the black silk that pools around him, the nervous constriction of his muscles, sliding smoothly beneath that pale skin, the slightest intake of breath on his part sending shivers of desire coursing through my body. I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life.

I have wanted him more than anything I have ever wanted in my entire life. I have wanted him since the first day I had laid my eyes upon him. Wanted to feel the smoothness of his skin against my own, wanted to taste its saltiness as we made love.

His fists clinch more tightly in the sheets, his knuckles turning white, as I lay one hand upon the bed causing it to shift slightly under my weight. Frowning I look up watching his breathing catch as he turns his head to the side, his eyes held all the more tightly shut. Faintly I wonder if he's afraid, before quickly dismissing the thought.

Slowly I crawl on all fours onto the bed, occasionally stopping to run my tongue over the pale flesh beneath me. I smile hungrily as I reach his growing erection, his breath hitching as I lightly run my tongue up along its length. Playfully I nip the inside of his thigh before continuing my slow journey upwards, only to stop moments later.

Murmuring softly, eyes half lidded, I run my tongue along the outside of his navel before dipping into it once, then twice. His muscles tighten as I blow softly against the wet skin, a small sob escaping his lips. Gently I run my hands back down along the insides of his thigh and down along his legs, gently urging them apart.

Hesitantly he moves his legs, spreading them farther apart allowing me more room. Settling more comfortably between them I dip my tongue into his navel a third time before beginning to suck at it gently. I moan softly as his muscles constrict beneath me, his back arching slightly into my touch.

At length I decide to move on, planting light kisses along the smooth expanse of his chest as I bring my hands up to play with the pink buds of his nipples, tweaking them until they stand hard and erect.

Sighing I sit up, straddling his hips and look down at his slightly trembling body. Noticing the gleam of unshed tears beneath his eyelashes I frown, reaching out to wipe at them gently. The moment my fingers brush his cheek he flinches, turning his head farther away from my touch. Pain floods through me at his silent rejection. Moving my fingers, I run them gently along his neck and down his chest instead.

I love him so much; so much it hurts every time I look at him, every time I hear his name. I want him to know my love for him and to return that love back to me. This…this is the only way I could think of how to show him my feelings for him, and still he fights me. Not physically…no he is bound by his honor…but, with that one small rejection, the rejection of comfort he has hurt me more than anyone else ever could.

Fighting back tears of my own I reach down gently working his fingers free from the sheets. Bringing one fist up I gently kiss the back of his hand before slowly prying his fingers out, kissing each one in turn as I do so. Finishing with one hand I move to the next repeating the same ritual, trying to get him to relax, to enjoy what's being done to him. An unresponsive lover as I've found is not very satisfying.

As I place his hands back down by his sides I can sense them starting to ball once again into the sheets. Quickly I reach down running my fingers over his lightly before intertwining them with my own. The pressure of his grip is strong, almost painful in its intensity. I cry out, softly voicing my protest and slowly the pressure lessens as he forces his hands to relax.

Smiling I lean down nuzzling his throat, my tongue flicking out to taste the sweat that has gathered in its hallow. Mumbling reassurances and comforting words I start to nibble along his collarbone, occasionally mock biting him here and there. Leaning forward I gently run my tongue along his ear, caressing every curve, before taking in the lobe, sucking at it gently.

I can feel the quickening of his breath beneath me. That simple reaction sending bolts of pleasure through my body. I moan into his ear, voicing my pleasure, before slowly moving down kissing my way along the curve of his neck. Reaching the junction of his neck and shoulder I gently bite down then begin to suck and knead at the soft skin, my eyes fluttering closed as I make my mark upon him. I smile softly into his skin as a small moan escapes his lips, his long silence broken.

Releasing his right hand, which instantly tangles into the sheets, I reach up tilting his head so that it no longer lay to one side. Brushing my lips softly against his own I whisper more quiet assurances, then run my tongue along his lower lip requesting entrance. He tries to turn his head once again, but wrapping my fingers in his hair I hold him still, leaning down to kiss him gently.

Deciding that he needs a little more…persuasion, I release his left hand as well, reaching down with my now free hand to grab his erection. He gasps in surprise and pleasure, the slight parting of his lips all I need to slip inside. As I moan into his mouth, kissing him deeply, my hand starts to move slowly sliding up and down his length.

As I break the kiss, needing air, I look down upon him wishing that he would open his eyes so that I might look upon them. His breath hitches as his hips thrust up of their own accord into my hand. He bites his lip, his neck straining back as he suppresses a moan. Once again, I lean forward taking his mouth, this time he offers no resistance allowing me to slip my tongue deep within him, both of us moaning in pleasure as our tongues slide against each others.

God what I wouldn't do to feel his weight upon me, pressing me down. To have his lips devour my own, to have his touch like molten fire move across my skin, setting every nerve alight with pure desire. Moaning out my name, screaming out his pleasure for all to hear.

But I know that can't be so, not yet. I had…I had to bind him by his honor, had counted on it to get this far. To be able to touch him like this with his willing, although admittedly reluctant, consent.

No…here, now, I have to take control. I have to lead in a dance I know not the steps to, and to which I don't think he knows either. I wonder…am I also his first as he is mine? I have never done anything like this before, not with anyone. A chaste kiss here or there being the only exception.

I want this to be good for him. I want him to remember my touch, to crave it as I crave his. To have every jolt of pleasure that racks through his body burned into his memory. Knowing that I had caused it. Knowing that only I could give it to him. To have him know that we were meant to be together for all eternity.

I attack his mouth with bruising force, trying to express all of my feelings, all of my reasons into this one kiss. I can feel him thrusting faster now into my hand and it's all I can do to release him, bringing that hand up to grip in his hair as well, pulling our two mouths closer together. He moans into my mouth, a mixture of both pleasure and disappointment. His thrusts, now devoid of stimulation, slowing then stopping all together. Still we kiss. I am unwilling to let go. I hold on for as long as I can, pushing both our limits. As my lungs start to convulse, demanding air, I reluctantly let go.

As I sit gasping for breath atop him, my head resting on his shoulder, I become aware that his hands after being released from my own had not moved from the sheets they were clutching. That he had not once reached out to touch me. The realization sends new shocks of pain coursing through me. I close my eyes concentrating on the rise and fall of his chest beneath me as he too gasps for air, ignoring the ache that's now spreading through my chest and to my heart.

After my breathing slows, coming back down, I kiss him once more, this time more gently, softly caressing his tongue with my own. At the same time I let my right hand wonder back down, brushing my fingers lightly across his erection, barely touching it. Shivers run through his body as he thrusts upwards seeking out that ghost touch. Pulling back I gently wrap my hand around his erection, my thumb coming up to tease the tip. His back arches lightly beneath me, a pleasure filled moan clawing its way out of his throat as his head bends back, his lower lip held tightly in his teeth.

God he is so beautiful. His pale skin glistening with sweat, his hair matted, sticking to his face in places. He looks like an angel, an exotic angel sent from Heaven. My angel…the keeper of my heart…

Smiling softly I lean down nuzzling his throat lovingly. For an instant fear laces through me at what I'm about to do, but I quickly suppress it. I know what I have to do, what I want to do. What I've wanted to do for so long now. To become one with my angel. To be joined as only lovers can be joined.

Carefully I rise up, moving back just a little. I see his brow knit in confusion as my weight lifts from him, but still he will not look. Perhaps content with the fact that my hand still holds him, telling him that I have not left. Biting my own lip, I rest my left hand on his right shoulder and using my right hand as a guide slowly begin to lower myself onto him.

I close my eyes as the tip of his erection comes into contact with my entrance. I can feel him stiffen at the contact, feel the sheets as they move, pulled into his embrace as his hands clutch all the more tightly at them. Stealing my breath I push downwards, a small whimper escaping my throat as tears spring unbidden to my eyes. God but it hurts, more than any other physical pain I have suffered it hurts. Unable to go any further I stop, holding myself suspended on him, waiting for my body to adjust, for the pain to lessen even if only slightly.

Silently I thank whatever gods might be listening that he hadn't just grabbed and thrust into me. The thought had never really occurred to me until this moment that he might actually do so. Sniffling softly I open my eyes to gaze down at him. He lay completely still, his body seemingly frozen in place. His breathing too seemed to have stopped; biting my lip harder I bring my right hand up to lightly rest on his chest, the feeling of his heart beating wildly reassuring me that I haven't given him an heart attack or anything.

Moving my hand to grip tightly at his left shoulder I take a deep breath then push myself down gently, burying his erection deep inside me. This time I don't stop.

When finally he is completely embedded within me I allow myself to relax. As my body adjusts to the new sensation I busy myself by playing with his nipples or twining strands of his hair around my fingers. A slight fluttering of the eyelashes and the soft rise and fall of his chest accompanied by an occasional low moan the only signs that he is alive.

Softly I whisper his name, reaching out with one hand to run my fingers lightly over his cheek. He tilts his head ever so slightly into the touch, murmuring my name so softly I can barely hear it. But I do and the sound of it on his lips spoken so gently is like music to my ears.

Feeling nothing more but a slight discomfort now I slowly rise until only his tip is left within me and then lower myself on him again. His hips come up to meet me as I come down and I cry out in pleasure as he brushes something deep inside me. Soon any pain or discomfort is forgotten, replaced by jolts of pure pleasure washing over me with every downward and upward thrust of our hips.

I have found that opposed to his near silence I am quite vocal, frequently and loudly making my pleasure known.

Bringing my right hand away from his shoulder I reach down wrapping it around my own swollen erection, sliding my hand along its length in time to our thrusts. I feel dizzy, overwhelmed by the flood of these new sensations as they wash over my body. I can feel his body trembling beneath mine, his thrusts coming harder and faster now.

No, not yet. Biting my lip hard I force myself to slow, to not lose control. He moans quietly beneath me thrusting up hard once more before succumbing to the new pace that I have set for us. If I could I would never have this moment end. Being with him like this…this feeling…surely this must be what Heaven feels like.

My eyes fluttering open I look down to discover small streams of iridescent tears falling from his closed eyelids, a few small pearls clinging to his lashes. More tears fall from his closed eyes as he thrusts upwards, a sob racking through his body. His breathing is coming in ragged gasps and his head lay once again to the side, burying into his right shoulder. I cry out, my back arching, as his next thrust hits me.

Letting go of my erection I reach down gripping both of his shoulders, pulling lightly. After a few moments I manage to get him to sit up, wrapping my arms around his neck and moving my legs to encircle his waist. I bite lightly at his shoulder as my erection, now trapped between us, rubs against the flat expanse of his stomach.

I can now feel the wetness of his tears as he buries his head into the curve of my neck and shoulder, his lips trembling softly. I whisper gently into his ear, kissing it lightly as I run my fingers through his sweat dampened hair. As another violent shudder racks through his body, tearing a strangled sob from his lips, I begin to worry. He is shaking so hard, his body starting to convulse from the force of his tears.

I `shhhh' at him softly, holding him more tightly against me, like a mother would her child. Murmuring softly into his ear I run my hands down the length of his arms to his hands, gently releasing the sheets of his death grip. Bringing his hands up I draw them back, wrapping them around me.

I kiss lightly along his neck, tangling my left hand gently in his hair and reach out with my right to grasp tightly at the headboard. I grind my hips roughly against his own, using the headboard to help push against him. His hips buck up into me as a loud moan tears from his throat.

I cry out in pain, tears sliding from my eyes, as a vicious bite accompanies my next thrust. His teeth digging savagely into my left shoulder, hard enough to draw blood. Clinching his hair, I jerk his head back violently, bringing my lips up to cover his own as I continue to thrust roughly against him.

The taste of his mouth mingled with the taste of my own blood is intoxicating to me and I moan loudly, thrusting faster against him. His arms tighten around me, his fingers splaying to lay firmly against the small of my back. I draw my lips back just enough so that I might breath, our breathes mingling as our lips brush against each others. Shifting slightly I gently kiss away the tears falling from his closed eyes, before moving to his ear and finally his neck.

My eyes flutter close as I knead the pale flesh, licking at the sweat that clings to his skin. Savoring its salty taste. I tilt my head slightly into his as I feel his teeth graze my skin, then moan as his tongue flicks out lapping gently at the blood flowing freely from his bite.

He murmurs something too faint to hear into my skin and I kiss his shoulder gently, letting him know that I don't blame him. I can feel my muscles start to tighten as I continue to thrust faster and harder onto him. Pulling his head closer I whisper into his ear, I whisper of my love for him and as I come, hot, sticky liquid spraying between us, I cry his name.

I bury my head in his shoulder, sobbing his name over and over again as wave upon wave of pure ecstasy washes over me, drowning out everything except the feel of his hips as they continue to drive into me.

A sob tears from his throat, his arms tightening around me as he thrusts hard into me, his body shaking with the force of his release. I bring both of my arms up to wrap around his neck, my fingers digging into the soft wet locks of his hair. The feeling of his release, his hot liquid spreading within me, enough to send new waves of pleasure crashing over me.

As the torrents of pleasure gradually lessen, releasing me from their hold, I gently kiss his neck, whispering his name. He doesn't move, his body leaning heavily against me. Fear wells up within me as I repeat his name, loosening my grip on him so that I might look at him more fully.

His body, lax in my arms, offers little resistance as I push against it. Panic gripes my heart as his head drops, unresisting, to his chest the moment it leaves my shoulder. Crying his name I bring my head down, pressing my ear firmly against his chest. As the soft sound of his heartbeat comes back to me I release the breath I'd unknowingly been holding and lift his head to gently kiss his lips, once more clutching his body tightly against mine.

He must have passed out I muse, wiping at a tear as it slides silently down my cheek, before once again pushing against him, gently lowering him onto the bed. For a moment I just look down at him, his features so relaxed in sleep.

Brushing the damp fringe of his hair from his eyes, I smile. I've never seen him without his perpetual, `Holier Than Thou', scowl before and I like what I see.

"You really don't know how beautiful you truly are, do you?" I ask, leaning down to brush my lips lightly over his. "You are so very beautiful. The gods must have thought long and hard before creating you."

Sighing I sit back up, stretching my arms wide, my limbs feeling heavy in their relaxed state. I grimace softly as I feel something clinging to my skin, and looking down am reminded of my own release. I glare at the milky white substance wearily as if it were some creature that might at any moment come to life. Reaching down I run two fingers over my chest gathering some of the substance, bringing it up to examine it.

Tentatively I flick my tongue out, tasting it. My nose wrinkling as I grimace, swallowing my own seed. Its salty somewhat bitter taste not to my liking. Frowning I glance quickly around for anything I could use to wipe the rest off, finding nothing suitable I resign myself to taking care of it.

I moan softly as my lover slides out of me and move over to lay on my back to his left. Eyes half lidded, staring at the ceiling, I absently reach down gathering more of my seed, bringing it to my lips. When finally I am free of the stuff I roll onto my side, propping myself up on my elbow to look in mild distain at the softly rising and falling chest before me. Or to be more precise at the substance clinging to the softly rising and falling chest before me. I regard the substance for a moment longer before leaning over and licking at it. Closing my eyes I run my tongue over the expanse of skin beneath me, moaning softly. The taste of my lover making that of my seed more bearable to me.

When at last there is no more I run my tongue up his chest, coming up to nip gently at his collarbone. Still he remains oblivious, wrapped firmly in sleeps tight embrace. Snuggling closer I regard him for a moment, taking in his pale skin, always so pale… and the faint traces of his still drying tears. Frowning I watch as a fresh tear breaks free, sliding silently down his cheek.

"Saa…, no more tears Seto." I murmur softly reaching out to gently brush the tear away. "No more tears…"

Bringing my lips up I kiss him gently then reach down to pull at the black silk sheets drawing them up to come over us both. As the smooth material flutters, settling against our moist skin, I slide my head down resting it upon his chest. My eyes fluttering close I listen to the steady beat of his heart, letting it carry me off to sleep.



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Warmth. I can feel it spreading across my skin. Beckoning me out of the blessed darkness of sleep.

Groaning I crack one eye open. Just as I thought, the sun. For a moment I just lay there lazily watching the play of shadow and light as the sun rises from its sleep, demanding that we in turn do as well. Hnn…the sun can shine all it wants, but I am quite content right where I am. Closing my eye I snuggle closer to the chest beneath me inhaling deeply of its scent, savoring it.

Softly Seto murmurs incoherently in his sleep and I smile, looking up just in time to see his nose wrinkle slightly. His mouth opens as if to yawn, then thinking better of it closes as his head turns farther from the window and the accursed sun towards me. The fringe of his soft brown hair falling into his eyes as his head settles once more onto the pillow, more quiet murmurs escaping his lips.

I can't help but giggle. Whoever would have thought that Seto could be so cute in sleep?

Gently I plant a kiss on his chest, before shifting so that I now sit upon him. His brow knits as my weight settles onto him, his head turning to snuggle more firmly into the pillow. Leaning down I plant light butterfly kisses along the arch of his neck and up following the outline of his jaw. Reaching out I turn his head away from the pillow so that I might taste his lips.

Using my fingers to gently pry his mouth open I slip my tongue between his lips tasting the sweetness of him. Slowly he begins to respond to the kiss, his movements sluggish as the vestiges of sleep begin to wear off. I moan pressing more fully against him, seeking to deepen the kiss even more, when I feel his body suddenly stiffen beneath mine.

Breaking the kiss I look up into his slightly confused gaze. I can feel myself start to blush as the look of sleep and confusion is replaced with one of recognition and remembrance. I duck my head slightly, biting at my lower lip. I know I should say something, but I don't know what. Come on think. Say something, anything…

Not knowing what else to say I merely whisper. "Ohayo…"

With the uttering of that one word all traces of sleep vanish from his continence. His body is shaking slightly beneath mine, his jaw clenching as he closes his eyes for a moment. When they open they are hard, showing no emotion, cold like the ice of winter.

Slowly he reaches up resting the palm of his right hand lightly against my cheek and I lean slightly into that touch. Gently he runs his hand down along the curve of my neck and along my shoulder, stopping briefly to brush his fingers over the spot he had bitten. Then without any hesitation he pushes me roughly off him. I cry out at the unexpected gesture, tumbling to land confused on the expanse of bed to his left.

Turning my head I watch as he slowly sits up, bringing one hand up to run through his hair. Puffing at the fringe of my own bangs I too sit up, drawing the black silk sheets around my waist, glowering slightly at them. Well, that wasn't exactly the response I was hoping for after a bout of passionate sex. Hmm…maybe he's just not a morning person.

When I turn to face Seto again I find him sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned towards me and his head bowed. I finger at the sheets nervously for a moment before moving up behind him. I kiss the back of his neck gently as I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling his trembling body into a tight embrace.

He stiffens once more at the touch before rising to stand. As my arms slip from around him I bring them up to wrap around myself. I can feel tears threaten to surface as I watch him grab at his pants, quickly pulling them on, but I force them back.

"Seto…"

"No." He turns to face me and I cringe slightly at the emotion in his eyes. Anger. Pure Anger. But beneath that lay another emotion, one that hurts infinitely more than just anger alone, betrayal. "Don't…don't say my name. Don't say anything. I want you out, now."

No, it's not supposed to be this way. It's not supposed to…

"Please, please Seto let me…"

"I don't want to hear it, Yami! You got your damn prize, now get the fuck out of my house!!" With that he turns, stalking out of the room and all I can do is watch him go. I can feel the tears now falling freely from my eyes, I can feel them, but I no longer care. All I care about is the person now leaving me, and the look of anger and betrayal that had been in his eyes.

No. It can't end like this…

"Seto, please wait!!" Screaming I sit bolt upright, hand outstretched to someone who is not there. Where…? For a moment I'm lost, not knowing where I am, before the familiar surroundings sink into my over taxed mind. Home, I'm home.

Bringing my hands up to rub at my sweat soaked face I fall backwards to lay once again on my bed. I've had the same dream now for the last five years, no not a dream, a memory. I only wish it were a dream. If it were just a dream then I could still have hope, but it's not and over the past five years since that damned night my hope has died only to be reborn and die again.

I wish that I could say that I regret that night, but I can't. I may regret what I did, I may regret the result of what I did, but I do not regret what I had shared with Seto that night. That I could never regret nor forget.

I can still feel his lips pressed to mine, can still taste their sweetness. The saltiness of his skin, the way his body moved against mine, the feeling of completeness that I had felt in his arms, I can still feel all of it. The dream…it's always so real…a little too real.

Grimacing I wipe away any traces of tears and throw my covers off me. Standing I quickly grab some clean clothes and head for the bathroom. Once there I strip out of my soiled boxers regarding them with disgust. Damn dream. Throwing them into the corner I step into the shower turning on the water as hot as my body can stand it.

What the hell had I been thinking that day? Why, why did I have to challenge him to that stupid game? Why did he have to accept…? Sliding down the wall of the shower I sit on the floor wrapping my arms around my knees as I draw them up to my chest. I can feel fresh tears falling down my cheeks, mixing with the water from the shower as it rains down gently onto me. That's it isn't it? I challenged because I knew he would accept. I changed the rules hoping that he would accept… Reaching up I wipe at my tears. I called him a coward, when it is I that am the coward… Sobbing I lay my head upon my knees remembering that day.



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"A duel?" Seto asks his eyes lighting with anticipation for a chance to try and beat me at a game.

He has gotten much better with dealing with his losses to me, instead thinking of them as chances to study my strategies, to learn how I play and to better his own skills, fine-tuning his already too keen mind, adapting it to my style of dueling. Each time I play him it gets harder to win, soon I'm not sure that I'll be able to hold him off. His victory over me in a duel is imminent. That is why I have to move now. That is why I cannot lose this duel. All of my planning rides on this victory.

"Yes, I challenge you, Seto Kaiba, to a duel." He snorts at the use of his full name, his arms coming up to cross over his chest. I start to smile at the display, but turn the expression into one of serious contemplation instead. "However, I wish to change the rules."

His eyebrow arches in response to this, but other wise he offers no other reaction.

Crossing my own arms over my chest I regard him for a moment. I cannot let him see how nervous I am. I could lose everything; all of my planning would be for nothing if he refuses to play under my terms. Making sure that I present myself to him in the manner I'm always in when I duel, I allow just the hint of a smile to show. "The Victor of this duel will get to claim a prize from the loser. No matter what it is the vanquished must concede. Do we have a deal?"

His head lowers just a bit, a frown pulling at his lips and I can feel my heart skip a beat. I was hoping that his eagerness to duel me would override any sense of wariness on his part. I can see the gears turning in his mind, fitting every piece together, considering every possible outcome or repercussion to this duel.

I can feel panic starting to rise within me and quickly push it back down. He doesn't know, there's no way he could know, he wouldn't even consider it as a possibility. Taking a calming breath I await his answer.

After a moment his head rises, his perpetual scowl now firmly back in place. "Alright, I agree to your terms."

"Do you swear on your honor?" The words had left my mouth before I was even aware of them.

He stiffens, his eyes narrowing slightly and I know that he has taken offense at my outburst. I curse myself for a fool as his jaw tightens then relaxes. "I would hope Yami that you would think a little more highly of me. I would not go back on my word, but if it'll make you feel any better then I swear it."

Letting go of the breath I'd been unknowingly holding, I smile at him. "I meant no offense Kaiba, I know that you would not go back on your word."

Truth was, I was counting on it.

Snorting he turns away from me leading the way to the dueling arena. Only Seto Kaiba would set one of those up in his house I muse shaking my head in amusement before moving to follow.



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The duel was long and hard, but in the end I arose as the victor. Not that Seto made it easy; no he had put up a very good fight. For a while I had actually thought that I would lose. But by some unseen miracle I did not, and for that I was grateful.

"Good game Yami, but next time you won't be so fortunate."

"I know." I whisper, smiling softly. Now how to bring up the subject of…hey, where does he think he's going?

"Seto!" I yell out at his retreating form.

He stops turning slightly back towards me, raising one eyebrow in silent question.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I ask a little exasperated.

He seems to consider this for a moment before turning fully around and walking back to where I'm standing.

"Sorry, not used to your new rules." Reaching into his coat pocket he pulls out his deck and takes one card from it handing it to me. "Here take the damn Dragon."

Wha…? Blinking I just stare at the card he had just given to me, one of his Blue Eyes. "Seto, I don't want your Dragon, although I must admit it is very tempting…"

Shrugging he quickly snatches the card back out of my hand, placing it once more into his deck. "Then how much?"

"What?" Now I'm totally confused.

"If you don't want the Dragon then you must want money, so how much?"

"Seto, I don't want any of your money either."

Now it was Seto's turn to look confused. I could almost see all of his current thoughts suddenly stop and change direction, absorbing this new information and searching for a solution, for anything else that he has that I might want.

I swallow nervously, gathering my courage to speak when I see his eyes widen slightly as he looks at me.

"You are not getting my company." He states coldly.

"I don't want your damned company Seto!" I yell, now agitated.

"Then what the hell do you want?!" He yells back, clearly frustrated that I didn't want anything that I should want, that anyone else would have wanted.

Taking a deep breath I recompose myself and look at him coolly. "I want you."

He freezes at that, a look of complete and utter shock plain on his face. He swallows lightly trying to cover up his unease and whispers softly, uncertainly. "Me…?"

I straighten up looking more fully at him. "Yes you or to be more precise I want one night, this night…"

His jaw clenches in anger as he stiffens, rising up to his full height. "I am not some goddamned piece of meat you can just…"

"Remember your promise Seto." Anger is now evident in my own voice as well, but I won't allow it to rise. Crossing my arms over my chest I continue to stare coolly at him. I refuse to lose control and thus lose him.

His mouth snaps shut as he glares at me before turning on his heel, stalking towards the door.

"Coward!" I yell after him. "You have no honor Kaiba!"

He stops dead in his tracks at that, his shoulders visibly shaking with the anger that coursed through him. I had expected this anger, but I refuse to let it stop me. I will show him and he will see, I will make him see.

He turns his head slightly looking over his shoulder back at me. "And what exactly were you planning to do with me and this…night?"

I can feel myself start to blush furiously as I glare at the floor unable to look directly at him. From the corner of my eye I can see his own eyes closing as his head lowers slightly, the light brown fringe of his hair falling forward as he does so.

"I see…" He whispers softly, before straightening once more. "Very well, I will honor my promise to you, but first there is some business I have to take care of." With that he starts for the door once more, this time I say not a word, but follow silently behind.



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As we pass through Seto's office he twirls his long trenchcoat off, nearly hitting me with it in the process, before throwing it at his desk. Running a hand through his hair he glances back at me cursing quietly under his breath.

Reaching the landing to the stairs he stops, taking a deep breath before yelling. "Mokuba!"

Receiving no answer he curses again, running a hand through his hair and after glancing back once more at me starts up the stairs, pulling the edge of his black button up shirt out of his pants as he does so.

"Mokuba!!"

Still following silently behind him I cringe a bit at the loudness of his voice as it echoes throughout the Kaiba mansion. More curses flow from his mouth, some in languages that I didn't even know existed, as we continue to ascend the stairs to the second floor. You would think that with a house this big, with so many stairs that he would at least invest in an elevator. I'm drawn out of my musings as Seto glances back at me nervously. He starts as if to run his hand through his hair once more before deliberately stopping the action, instead letting his hand run along the top of the railing. The gesture I realize is one of nervous habit and immediately becomes endeared to my heart.

"MOKUBA!!!"

I grimace softly, willing the ringing in my head to stop as we finally reach the landing to the second floor.

"MOKUBA I SWEAR IF YOU DO NOT GET YOUR…"

"I'm here, I'm here!" shouts an exhausted looking Mokuba, who was slowly making his way towards us from around a bend in the hallway. "I was all the way…"

"Pack your stuff you're staying over at Jason's tonight."

"What? Why?" Mokuba asks, confusion written all over his childish features.

"Because I said so." Seto grinds out between clinched teeth.

Ech…I can't believe he just said that and apparently neither could Mokuba who just continued to stand in front of us, unmoving. I never understood why parents or elder siblings thought that that was a perfect excuse for everything.

After taking a deep breath Seto kneels down so that he is more on Mokuba's level and reaching up he ruffles Mokuba's hair playfully. "Sorry Mokuba, it's just that something's come up and I'm going to be having some unexpected quests over and I would rather not have you here. You know how business can get right?"

Mokuba nods slowly remembering this one time when Seto had actually thrown one of his executives out of one of the second floor windows.

"Good, now go pack." straightening up Seto steps around Mokuba, who after a moment takes off yelling in joy down the hall. I continue to watch Mokuba for a moment before, turning my attention back to Seto who was currently disappearing around a bend in the hall. Quickly I move to catch up, not wanting to let him out of my sight for a moment longer.

At length we find ourselves in what looks to be another office. Just how many offices does he need anyway? Mumbling to himself Seto walks up to the desk, picks up the phone that lay upon it and starts to dial a number.

"Yes, can I speak with Mr. Eriks please? Seto Kaiba." Apparently waiting for this Mr. Eriks, Seto starts to move things around on his desk nervously. It really is strange to see him in such an agitated state; hopefully I can remedy that. Smiling I wonder over to a shelf of books glancing over their tittles, only half listening to what Seto was doing.

"Yes, Mr. Eriks? I'm fine thank you. Look, I just found out that I'm going to have some unexpected business guests over and we will probably be up all night working and things could get ugly, you know how it is and I would prefer it if Mokuba were not around to witness any un-pleasantries and was wondering if it might be alright for him to stay over with Jason tonight? He can, great. Do you think you could come over and get him? The sooner the better. Twenty minutes? Great. Thank you, bye."

Turning I walk after Seto, who is already moving back down the hallway to the stairs.

"You didn't ask first."

He glances over his shoulder at me, as we make our way back down the stairs.

"You told Mokuba he was staying with this Jason before you asked. Why didn't you ask first?"

"I don't need to ask, it's just a formality."

I stop for a moment, before quickly starting back down the stairs again. At least Seto had answered my question instead of continuing to ignore me. "I still don't understand."

"He would have said `yes'."

"How do you know?"

Stopping he turns back glaring at me. "Because if he didn't I would run him and his company into the ground."

That said he turns back around and continues to stomp down the stairs.

"You know you're cute when you're angry."

"Shut up."



--------



Ok, so maybe that last comment wasn't the smartest thing in the world to say. Sighing I quickly duck out of the way of a coat as it comes flying out of a closet. If I'd known he was going to crawl into a closet and start throwing things at me I would have kept my mouth shut.

"Damn it, where the hell is it… Owww, you stupid…" Promptly a briefcase is thrown violently out of said closet nearly taking my head off and subsequently breaking a vase standing on a table behind me.

"Do you need any help in there?" Cautiously I begin to move closer to the closet door when the doorbell rings.

"No I don't need any help, now get the damn door!"

Shooting the closet a rather nasty look I take a step forward towards the front door only to be hit in the face by another coat as it comes flying out of the closet. Scowling I throw the coat aside, quickly moving out of the line of fire. Faintly I can hear the sound of snickering coming from within the closets depths.

Opening the door I am faced with a young man, with thin wire glasses, probably in his mid-twenties to early thirties. He opens his mouth to speak but promptly closes it as more curses drift back to us.

Smiling brightly I take the initiative. "Mr. Eriks?"

He nods his head slightly, looking over my head warily into the rooms' confines. Stepping aside I usher him in, quietly closing the door behind him. His eyes grow wider as he takes in the various clothing, objects and glass that littered the floor.

Clearing his throat he turns back to me. "Is Mr. Kaiba here?"

Sighing I simply point to the open closet as another object is thrown out, hitting the wall with a resounding thud. Mr. Eriks pales visibly as his eyes move from the closet to me and back again.

"Hah!! Found you, you good for nothing…" the rest of Seto's words are cut off as he stumbles out of the closet, nearly falling as a coat tangles around his leg. Hopping on one foot for a moment he quickly untangles the coat and throws it violently back into the closet. Seeing the two of us standing by the door he straightens, moving the jacket he held to his left hand and coming up to us, reaches out with his right to shake Mr. Eriks hand.

"I'm glad that you could come over on such short notice. I hope that I haven't inconvenienced you too much."

"Not at all." Mr. Eriks replies, straightening his glasses. "Jason enjoys Mokuba's company so much that I couldn't possibly refuse. I consider it an honor that you would even think of asking me to watch over him."

I raise an eyebrow as I watch the two of them exchange more words, both perfectly composed and business like in manner. No trace of Seto's previous agitation or of Mr. Eriks shock could now be seen. After shaking Mr. Eriks hand once more Seto turns, making his way over to the base of the stairs and after taking a deep breath yells. "Mokuba!!"

After a few moments Seto glowers at the stairs and going up a few steps he bellows once more. "MOKUBA!!!"

"I'm…I'm coming…" Yells Mokuba as he swings around the corner of the stairs, then yelps as he loses his footing falling-scooting the rest of the way down the stairs on his butt.

"Oww…" He whispers softly as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. Standing he rubs gingerly at his rear.

Scowling Seto grabs the backpack Mokuba had lost in his descent. "What have I told you about running down the stairs?"

"That I'll fall and break my neck." Mokuba answers, smiling sheepishly up at his big brother.

Sighing Seto kneels down handing Mokuba his backpack. "Exactly. Don't do it again, k? I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Ok." Mokuba whispers. "I won't. I promise."

"Be careful what you promise Mokuba." Seto murmurs, shooting me a discreet look full of suppressed anger.

Mokuba confused by his brothers' words started to ask what he had meant when Seto ruffled his hair and handed him a jacket before standing. "I want you to behave yourself Mokuba, be good and wear the jacket. I don't want you to catch a cold or anything."

Smiling Mokuba simply hugged his brother, and then holding the jacket close moved over to Mr. Eriks, Seto following not far behind.

"Take good care of him." Seto says as Mr. Eriks takes Mokuba's backpack, giving him a look that stated he would pay dearly if he didn't. Mr. Eriks paled once more before nodding and leading Mokuba to his car.

Closing the door behind them Seto turns, favoring me with another scowl before cursing under his breath. Running a hand through his hair he moves past me, through the glass and clothes that littered the floor, moving further into the house. Turning I simply follow.



--------



"Shouldn't you call your other?" Seto mumbles back to me as we enter a large kitchen.

"No, Yugi already knows I won't be home tonight."

"Does he now." He replies coldly, glancing at me from over his shoulder as he moves over to a large refrigerator.

I choose not to reply, instead moving to sit on one of many stools that flank a long wooden counter set into the middle of the room. Taking a seat I watch as he leans into the refrigerators confines, looking over its various contents.

"What do you want?"

"Want?"

"To eat. What do you want to eat?"

"Oh…It doesn't matter. Whatever you want is fine."

I watch in mild surprise as he grunts and starts to take various items out of the fridge, lining them on another counter. I never in a million years would have thought that Seto could cook. I, as well as everyone else, assumed that he had a private cook, but come to think of it one never did see any kind of servant or butler at the Kaiba mansion, not even security. It would make sense then that he would cook for himself.

Leaning onto the counter I prop my chin in one hand and watch as he takes a knife and starts to cut some of the ingredients he had laid out, his hands moving with perfect precision. Thus I watched him the entire time. He was so absorbed into what he was doing and in his own thoughts that other than a few glances my way here or there he really didn't seem to notice my presence at all.

When it is finally done he fixes both our plates and setting mine before me takes a seat at the opposite side of the counter, a little off to my right. Picking up a fork I take a tentative bite, before digging in. Even though I don't necessarily have to eat to survive, it does taste rather good and besides Seto had made it.

Looking up I find that, other than pushing the food around a bit, he hasn't touched it. I take another bite, watching him as he continues to stare off into space with a rather pensive expression. Sighing he looks down at his plate before picking it up and after scrapping its contents into the trash places it into the sink. Nimbly he snags a spoon out of a holder in the other side of the sink as he makes his way back to the fridge.

"Dessert?" He asks back at me as he opens the cooler reaching inside its depths. My mouth full I simply nod `no' in answer. Shrugging he pulls out a box of what looks to be ice cream from the cooler, before closing it.

As he comes back to the counter, setting the carton down, I can see that it is indeed ice cream. Ice cream that is at least three different flavors of chocolate. That can't be good. I nearly gag as he pops the lid of the carton off, reaching in with his spoon to gather a large amount of the ice cream up and sticks it into his mouth, not even bothering to get a bowl. Sighing he rests his chin in his left hand as he stares off into space once more, still using his right hand to bring spoonful after spoonful of the rich dessert to his mouth.

After about ten minutes of watching this I decide that it has to stop and laying my fork down rise to move around the counter. He freezes in mid- motion, spoon poised between the carton and his mouth, as I do so. His eyes never leave me as I move around the counter, making my way slowly over to him. His complete lack of motion reminding me of what people say a deer caught in headlights looks like; trapped between the need to flee and the fear that holds it.

"You're going to make yourself sick." I whisper, reaching out to grasp lightly at the wrist of his right hand. Bringing his hand up I slip the spoon into my mouth, savoring the sweet taste of the ice cream as it melts on my tongue.

He turns slightly towards me as I set the spoon onto the counter, an almost panicked look quickly crossing his features. I smile warmly at him as I bring my right hand up to the back of his neck. Stepping closer I nuzzle his throat, allowing my free hand to slide up his right leg, brushing my fingers briefly over his groin. His paralysis releases its hold then as he jumps, nearly falling off the stool. I laugh softly against his throat, moving my hand back down his leg and then up again. As my hand nears his groin once more he slides back off the stool, to stand, quickly untangling me from him.

I can't help but laugh as I look up into his flushed face.

"Shy?" I murmur softly, moving towards him once more. With each step that I take he takes one as well, slowly backing away from me.

As his back hits the wall behind him, he closes his eyes and takes a breath, waiting. He doesn't have to wait long. Leaning up I begin to kiss lightly at his exposed neck as I run my hands up, under his shirt, playing over the curve of muscle. I can feel his heart racing under my lips as I bring one hand down, brushing over him lightly. He jerks once more at the touch, backing harder up against the wall. I moan pressing my body firmly against his. I can feel myself start to harden as I rub gently up against him, can feel his body in turn reacting as well to the stimulus.

Biting my lip I lean up to whisper huskily into his ear. "I don't think that the counter would be very comfortable…"

He stiffens slightly, his head lowering as I once again kiss his neck.



--------



An untold number of stairs later finds us on the third floor, entering a very large bedroom.

My heart races as I look at the giant bed pressed against the wall in the center of the room. Walking up Seto moves to stand at the end of the bed, reaching out to run his fingers lightly over the black silk that covers it. As he turns to face me I find it hard to move, hard to breath. I've awaited this moment for so long.

Now that the dream is reality I find all of my earlier assertiveness downstairs vanish. I feel myself blush as I look around the room, look at anything other than the bed and the man standing before it. My eyes however, are drawn back to Seto as he begins to take his shoes off, an unreadable expression on his face.

Slightly embarrassed I turn my back to him and slowly begin to remove my clothes; faintly I can hear him doing the same behind me. My breath catches as I hear the covers tossed back and the sound of Seto's body as it settles onto the bed.

Swallowing I turn…



****



"Hey, Yami are you almost done in there? We're going to be late."

"I'll be out in a few." I answer weakly, reaching out to turn off the spray of water. Rising I step out of the shower drying off quickly.

Throwing the towel into the hamper I wipe away the steam that has gathered onto the mirror. As my image becomes clear I regard myself. My features have changed little if at all in the past five years.

Yugi has changed; he has grown taller, not by much, but still taller and had cut his hair a few years back. At twenty-one he is still as gentle and kind as ever, now spending much of his time helping his grandpa run the game shop.

We or rather I had decided along time ago to remain in two forms. As Yugi grew older I found that he needed me less and the solitude of my own body seemed comforting to me.

As my eyes travel over my features they inevitably move to rest on my shoulder. Reaching up I run my fingers lightly over the scar on my left shoulder - a constant reminder of what had happened once I had turned around that night, of what I could never have again. At the time I had thought his bite was one of love and passion, now I think it was just in retaliation to what I was doing to him.

Sighing I turn and slowly begin to get dressed.

After that night Seto wouldn't even talk to me. He wouldn't even talk to Yugi, when he had asked him why he had suddenly started to avoid me. And avoid me he did. If I came into the same room as him he would quickly excuse himself and leave, if I managed to get close enough to him to speak he would push roughly past me.

Once he had given me the courtesy of hearing me out and then had promptly and violently slammed his door in my face.

After that day I had resigned myself to watching him from afar. For five years I have contented myself with mere glimpses. And at twenty-two he is still as beautiful as he ever was.

I had thought that I had won by winning that game five years ago, but in reality in even choosing to play that game I had lost. All that was won was a bittersweet victory, a victory that in its self, in its nature was a defeat.

Once again I am brought out of my musings as Yugi knocks on the bathroom door. "Yami, come on if we don't hurry we're going to be late. I told Mokuba we'd be there at nine." After a moment he adds, "You're going to miss your chance to see Seto."

Smiling I pull my shirt on over my head and open the bathroom door. "Not if I can help it."



--------



There was a big party at Mokuba's school today that was supposed to last the whole day, which was perfect. Seto had promised Mokuba that he would be there to help out or something, which meant that he couldn't just skip out on me. A fact Yugi had happily pointed out to me when Mokuba had told him that Seto would be there.

Over the past five years Yugi had figured out that I liked Seto and had at first seemed quite adamant about finding out what had made him all of a sudden hate me. A fact, which if I had anything to do about it, he would never learn. He had even went so far as to ask Mokuba once if he knew what had happened between us. Thankfully, it seemed, Seto had not told anyone else about that night either. So Yugi has had to be content with simply knowing that I had screwed up big time and he seems to enjoy helping me find chances to just look at Seto, if nothing else. I think deep down he believes that there could someday be a reconciliation between us. He really is too cute in his naiveté.

"Do you see him?" I ask, looking through the mass of people as they swarm around us.

"No, but I do see Mokuba, so he can't be too far off. Come on."

Moving through the crowd we slowly begin to make our way over to where Mokuba stood. Catching sight of us he waves and moves to meet us halfway.

"Hey, Yugi, Yami how have you guys been? I haven't seen you in awhile."

As Yugi starts talking excitedly with him about everything and nothing at the same time I simply stand back, content with observing and keeping one eye open for Seto, should he decide to show up. Mokuba, who is now seventeen, stands maybe a foot taller than Yugi; apparently Seto got all the height in the family. He still has his hair long, but now wears it back into a loose ponytail. He's also still very hyper, he and Yugi could go at it for hours, just talking and talking and talking…

I find my feet slowly taking me away from their senseless banter, to stand alone under a Sakura tree. Sighing I lean against its bark, allowing my eyes to drift closed.

"Seto! Seto!"

Opening my eyes at the name I look back to where Mokuba and Yugi are standing. I can see Seto making his way slowly towards them, stopping for a moment he looks around. Probably looking for me. As if to reaffirm my suspicion his eyes light briefly on me, before turning away as he starts towards them once more. Sitting down I fold my arms atop my knees and rest my head upon them, content as always to simply watch.

I know that he knows that I'm watching him. He shifts uncomfortably every so often, his eyes coming up to glance in my direction. He is doing so now and I look into his eyes, still seeing the hurt in their deep depths. His eyes turn from me once more as Mokuba grabs his arm, pulling him back into the crowd. I don't watch him go, instead closing my eyes.

I am jerked out of my thoughts some time later as I hear both Seto and Yugi scream out Mokuba's name. Looking up I watch as Seto runs towards Mokuba, who simply stares, frozen in terror at the car heading straight for him.

All sound seems to stop as I jump to my feet and race head long into the crowd, my eyes glued onto Seto as he reaches out for Mokuba. Sound rushes back to me with the high screeching of brakes and the unmistakable sound of metal hitting flesh accompanied by that of breaking glass. My heart stops as I continue to run, no longer able to see either one of them, but knowing that one if not both of them where hit.

I can hear other people screaming now as they realize that something has happened, but I simply push past them. As I push my way through the edge of the crowd I can see the car from earlier tear down the street. Looking to where the car had come from I can see Yugi frantically talking on his cell phone as he runs towards the two forms that lay still in the middle of the road.

I cry out running forward. I can see Mokuba start to sit up shakily, and then cry out reaching for Seto as Yugi comes up holding him back. This only makes me run faster, I can feel the sting of tears as they fall from my eyes, blurring my vision.

I ignore both Mokuba and Yugi as I fall to my hands and knees by Seto's side, scrapping them roughly against the concrete. I can already see blood pooling around his body and hesitate for just an instant before shakily reaching out and turning him over. There is blood everywhere; he is covered in it.

I can hear myself crying out to him as I reach out pressing my fingers firmly against his throat searching for a pulse, for any sign of life. Faintly I feel it, it's so weak…too weak…

"Please…please don't leave me…" I choke out, bringing my hands up to rest on either side of his face, blood washing over them as it falls in a steady stream from his mouth. "No…Seto…Seto please…" I run my fingers through his hair, as I feel him starting to slip away, frantically trying to get him to open his eyes, to respond to me, to hold on…

Faintly I can hear sirens in the background.



--------



I watch, tears falling silently from my eyes, through the clear window into the room they had rushed Seto into. I can see Yugi's and Mokuba's reflection in the glass as they sit in the chairs lining the hallway behind me. Silently Yugi holds Mokuba against him rocking him gently back and forth. Mokuba it seems was pushed out of the cars path just in time, escaping with some minor scrapes and bruises. Seto, who had taken the full force of the hit, wasn't so lucky.

The doctors are yelling back and forth to each other as they frantically rush about Seto's body. I silently pray that he will be alright. I can't help but feel that in some way I'm responsible, that if I hadn't pushed him away five years ago that there might have been something that I could have done to prevent this from happening. That I could have stopped Mokuba from dragging Seto back into the crowd to do whatever it was that they had done.

I choke down more tears as I watch the doctors' eyes, eyes that are now as panicked as my own. Closing my own eyes I rest my forehead against the glass, concentrating on the soft `beep' of the heart rate monitor, as it drifts out of the room to me. Holding onto that sound.

As the beeping starts to increase, coming faster, I can feel my own heart speed up. A sob racks violently through my body as the sound starts to run together, before forming into one long merciless shriek.

Then all goes silent.



------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------- ----------------



More A/N: You know I really wish I knew why I have this really strong desire to hurt or in this case kill all of my fav characters. Yes, Seto is dead. -_-; It's really weird.