Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet Victory ❯ Bittersweet Victory II ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: *pouts*

Warnings: Angst. Guilt.

A/N: Anou…It seems that my muse has taken a liking to this particular story as well. I sat down one night intent on writing something and it took me all of three seconds to realize that it was a second half to this. Now I'm really nervous, because I feel that I have to keep the quality up with the first half of this story and my muse is being stingy with some of the details. He really is an evil little creature. Well anywhichway on to the fic…

---------------------------------------------------------------- ------------ ----------------

Bittersweet Victory II

The mingling of breaths …

The breathlessness of a kiss…

The caress of skin…

The dance of lovers…

The feel of blood running down my skin…

A look of longing…

A look of pain…

A cry of fear…

Silence in answer…

The feel of blood running down my skin…

A tear of sorrow…

A shrieking cry…

A scream of loss…

Lost in silence…

Silence consumed by darkness…

I can feel the darkness around me, pulling me deeper into its depths. I don't fight it, but let it carry me where it will. Here I feel nothing. I hear nothing. This does not worry me, for I do not wish to feel.

To feel the pain of his loss, heralded by that shrieking cry… He left me… No, not left…taken…he was taken from me… No…no, that can't be right either… He couldn't have been taken… He wasn't mine… He hated me… But, that doesn't matter anymore…because…because I killed him… He's gone. He's dead. He died and he left me. Seto died… Seto's dead… I killed him… It's all my fault.

I can feel the darkness pulse around me, can feel it changing. Perhaps it senses my mood and hears my thoughts. It knows what I've done and deems me unworthy of its emptiness, of this numbness that I crave. Faintly I can hear…something. The sound of something falling…like the soft drip of rain. Opening my eyes I look into the darkness, watch as it morphs around me. Colors seep from its blackness, swirling and then taking shape.

I find myself standing outside of Seto's home. A twisted parody, it looms before me. The colors run together, the shapes and definitions of the structure shifting as if uncertain that this is the true form they should take. I turn towards the front door as the steady sound of liquid dripping comes from within.

I continue to stare blankly at it for what could be hours, but here time does not matter, so when I move I do so slowly.

As I approach the door it dissolves, the colors that gave it shape melting into the darkness. Slowly I enter. I can hear the sound now more clearly, coming from farther within the houses depths.

Silently I move forward, seeking out that sound. Vaguely I feel the crunching of glass beneath me and looking down am faced with shards of swirling color. The colors dance across the floor, taking the shape of glass or what looks to be clothing of some sort. Wrapping my arms tightly around myself I close my eyes, forcing back tears. I know this place…I know this scene… Choking down a sob I whisper. "Go away…"

I can feel a strong wind suddenly build up, pushing against me, can feel the darkness beginning to shift once more.

As the wind dies I cry out, my eyes snapping open, as a door slams closed behind me. Turning I am faced with a closet. Taking a step back I become aware that the glass and clothing that had littered the floor moments earlier are gone. Looking around I find that the colors have stopped moving; the shapes stopped shifting. Now I stand not in a parody, but in an exact replica. Everything now is how it should be. How it had been.

I hug my arms more tightly about me as I turn my back to the closet door, moving forward towards the sound that had drawn me here. A sound that now pounds more heavily in the air.

As I continue to move farther into the house, I become increasingly aware of where exactly it is I'm heading. As I reach the doors that lead into the large kitchen I stop. The sound is coming from beyond the doors, loud in my ears. I hesitate for a moment, considering turning back and leaving this place. This place full of memories, both pleasant and painful. Being here…at this place…at this time…will only bring pain and sorrow and regret. I know this, just as I know what awaits me beyond these doors…who awaits me…

I close my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, before stepping forward into the kitchen. As I pass over the threshold the dripping sound lessens in volume, no longer pounding in the air, but falling softly. My heart aches as I look towards the source of the sound and I desperately try to hold off my tears as I'm faced with another all to familiar scene…

Seto looks up at me, smiling gently. He's sitting on a stool at the counter in the middle of the kitchen. Before him sits a carton, and in his hand a spoon. Something is dripping off the side of the spoon as it hovers between Seto and the carton; the source of the sound I'd been following.

I sniff lightly, wrapping my arms more tightly around me, as I start to move slowly towards him. His smile softens, brightening as I step forward, and he motions towards a stool across from him, slightly off to his right. Lowering my gaze I slide onto the indicated stool, our positions well known to me for what they are.

"I've been waiting for you." He says softly, dipping the spoon into the carton. "Want some?"

I try not to choke as I glance down at the spoon. Blood fills it, slowly dripping off its sides, into the carton below. Wrenching my eyes away from the spoon I look instead into his eyes. They're dead eyes, cold and slightly filmed over. He frowns slightly, feigning hurt at my reaction and subsequent rejection. After a moment he shrugs and pops the spoon into his mouth. "Your loss."

As he pulls the spoon out of his mouth, reaching down to dip it into the carton once more, I study him. His skin, which was always paler then most, was now nearly completely devoid of all color. His eyes with each passing second lost more of their beautiful blue hue, slowly turning milky white as the film that covered them thickened. His hair, which had been as soft as it had once looked, now hung heavily about his face, matted together in clumps of dried blood.

Noticing me watching him he drops the spoon into the carton, and resting his elbows on the counter interlaces his fingers, laying his chin upon them. His head tilts slightly to the left as he regards me with a thoughtful almost…loving expression. I shiver, quickly looking way.

His eyebrows arch lightly as he shrugs, moving with the gesture. Allowing his hands to fall he straightens, rising from his stool. Slowly he begins to walk around the counter towards me, running his fingers lightly over its surface as he does so. I want to get up, to run, but I can't. I find myself fixated with his movements. Not the halting movements of the dead portrayed in movies, but fluid, as graceful in death as he was in life.

"I thought you wouldn't come…" He whispers softly, now standing mere inches away from me. I can feel a tear slide down my cheek as I look up at him. He frowns, his milky white eyes moving to follow the tear, even though by all rights he shouldn't be able to see at all. I sob quietly, forcing myself not to flinch as he reaches up with his right hand to gently brush the tear away. I want to cry out as his skin brushes against mine, it's so cold, numbing in its lack of warmth.

Tilting his head slightly he moves his fingers along the line of my jaw and up over my lips, caressing them gently. He leans forward slightly and I lean back, not wanting him to touch me anymore than he already has. Smiling softly he reaches back, tangling his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, effectively holding me in place. I bring my hands up, grabbing at his arm, trying to get him to release me. I can feel tears falling freely from my eyes now as he brushes the fingers of his left hand lightly over my cheek. Letting go of his arm with my right hand, I push roughly against his shoulder, trying desperately to push him away from me.

"Shy?" He murmurs softly, leaning in closer to me, bringing his lips closer to my own.

I cry harder as he speaks that one word, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I choke, sobbing. I want desperately for him to stop and as his lips almost come into contact with my own, I hold my breath, unable to look away as his eyes flutter half close. His lips mere centimeters from mine he stops and there is no air between us. No stirring of breath.

My mind screams at me with this realization, even though I'd known on some level that he wasn't breathing. The dead don't breathe. But to be this close to him, to have his lips so near my own and not feel his breath wash over me, chills my blood, making me shudder slightly in his grasp.

His eyelashes flutter lightly as I shudder and he slowly moves to the right, bringing his lips up to brush gently over my ear. "Come."

With the uttering of that one word, so soft I'd barely heard it, he straightens, releasing me from his grasp. As his fingers leave my hair I take in a shaky breath of air, trying to get my heart to calm its wild flight. He takes a step back, away from me before turning, walking towards the kitchen door. Stopping halfway he turns settling those lifeless eyes on me, …waiting.

Taking in another shaky breath I reach up wiping at my tears, before moving off the stool and stepping hesitantly in his direction. He smiles once more as he reaches out with his right hand, offering it to me. Sniffling, I stop just out of his reach, raising my fingers to brush over his lightly before bringing my hand to my chest. His smile broadens at this, seemingly amused, and letting his hand fall once more to his side, he turns walking for the door. Silently I follow behind.

--------

An untold number of stairs later finds us on the third floor heading towards a room I could never forget and don't want to go anywhere near right at this moment.

As Seto reaches out to open the door to his bedroom I can feel panic start to rise within me. I do not want to go in there. I do not want Seto to go in there. I do not want us to go in there. The scene from the kitchen replaying in my mind, I do the only thing I can think of to do. Reaching out I lay my hand lightly on his, barely touching it, but enough so to stop him from turning the handle. "Seto…"

He turns slightly towards me, his dead eyes staring intently into my own. I shudder slightly under his gaze, releasing his hand. "Seto…I… Why are we here?"

He tilts his head at my question, his lashes lowering slightly. Somehow I get the impression that he thinks that I should already know the answer. "I'm tired."

"Tired?"

"I wish to sleep…" Turning from me he opens the door, taking a step inside. Stopping he looks back at me from over his shoulder. "Will you say a prayer for me?" Not waiting for a reply he turns, and is soon engulfed in the darkness of the rooms' shadows.

Confused I merely stand alone, biting at my lip softly. I don't want to have to go through what I'd gone through moments earlier in the kitchen far below. To know that I had done that to him, to know that he had felt as I am now feeling…it hurts…

I sniff lightly, as I hesitate a moment longer, before slowly moving towards the open door. As I step inside my eyes immediately seek out the bed I know to be here. I am surprised however, to find a coffin in its stead. The coffin is white, plain in its simplicity and is surrounded by vases of various white flowers. Looking around I can see that the whole room is littered with flowers.

I can't see Seto anywhere…

Slowly my eyes drift back to the coffin, nestled peacefully in the blossoms embrace. Sniffling I move further into the room. As I step up to the coffin I run my hands lightly over its lid, bringing my fingers up to brush gently over the monogram of `SK' that is carved into its center. I can feel fresh tears well up as I trace the letters with my fingers, memorizing every curve they make in the wood.

Sobbing quietly I reach down, slowly lifting the lid. Seto lay inside, no longer dressed in the black shirt and pants he'd been wearing earlier, but in an expensive looking white suite that only succeeded in making him look all the more ghostly in appearance. Reaching inside I brush his hair softly from his eyes, running my fingers lightly down the side of his face. He looks so peaceful, like he's sleeping…

I withdraw my hand, new tears springing to my eyes. Now I know why he'd looked at me like he did when I'd asked him why we had come here. Why he had thought I should have known… And I should have. I am the one who had put him here…

Closing my eyes I sniff softly. He'd asked if I would say a prayer for him. I hadn't known what he'd meant at the time, but now…, now I do. For those who rest in sleeps eternal embrace there is but one prayer. The prayer of the dead.

But I can't say such a prayer for him. For in doing so he really would be dead. I refuse to let his memory die and I refuse to dishonor that memory. I have no right to say such a prayer for him. My hands are soaked in his blood; it's my fault that he died, that I couldn't save him. I won't let him die again…

I wish that the darkness would come again. Would devour this place of pain and let me drift in its emptiness once more. Free of sound, free of touch, free of emotion, of sorrow and pain, love and longing…

As I close my eyes I can feel my legs start to shake, and as they give out from under me I slide my hands along the side of the coffin. Tears falling freely along my cheeks, as cold upon my flesh as Seto's touch had been.

I cry out as the darkness takes me once more. I cry out his name. I cry out my loss. I cry out for his forgiveness… Forgiveness I don't deserve and will never receive. When there are no more words, I simply cry.

--------

For a time the darkness sooths me. Rewrapping me in its emptiness, calming my tears and numbing my emotions. I am grateful to it, for I no longer wish to feel the weight of my betrayal. A betrayal which cost me everything… I know however, that the peace it offers will not last. It never does, for I do not deserve peace. Even still as it slips from me, I grasp to hold onto it.

Out of the darkness a new sound emerges. A soft sound, delicate and happy in its lilting tune. The song of a bird. Its cheerfulness mocks my pain, making me feel its sting anew. Hateful little creature. I can feel something brush up gently against me, stirring my hair and kissing my skin. Skin which is both warm and cool all at once. The two different sensations sending shivers of pleasure and discomfort down my spine.

It's only when I feel something shifting against me do I stir.

As I slowly allow my eyes to flutter open, I am greeted with the sight of softly swaying branches above me, littered in pink petals of silk. Sunlight filters through the branches, patterning me with shifting pools of light and shadow. A lone petal slowly drifts down to me as another breeze ruffles my hair, carrying the birds' song to me.

"You were dreaming."

Startled I try to sit fully up, but am stopped as the arms that encircle me tighten, holding me firmly against the chest I'd been leaning on. For a moment I panic, realizing that what I'd though was the trees trunk was actually another person. They `shhh' at me quietly, softly nuzzling the back of my neck.

Forcing myself to calm, I take a breath and wonder at how I hadn't noticed before that I'd been leaning against someone; someone who was currently placing cool butterfly kisses along the back of my neck and shoulder.

Looking down I find myself reclining between a set of long legs, my hands resting on the outside of either side of them; the black material that covers them soft under my touch. The arms that hold me securely against the chest behind me are similarly clad in black, the soft silk cool against my skin; the source of the coldness that mingled with the warmth of the sun.

My voice trembling, I softly whisper. "Seto…?"

"Hmm…" He nuzzles more fully at my neck, kissing me softly.

Unsure, I lean into him, enjoying the caress of his cool lips against my skin. Was it a dream? Had it all just been a dream? A nightmare? Maybe none of it had happened, or it had and…

"Seto?" I ask again, twisting in his grasp so that I might face him. Glancing up I find myself looking into his cold white eyes as they look back down at me. White not blue… My breath catches and I freeze looking at him, knowing that it wasn't a dream, that it had all happened, that it was real…

My eyes could have stayed locked with his forever had a shrieking cry not torn me out of my trance. Turning back around I look for the source of that cry and am once again frozen in shock and terror.

Before me, like a vision, plays that awful moment in time when all hope was lost to me. When the only thing I ever truly loved was ripped from this world. I curse that moment, I curse that day, and I curse the arms holding me firmly in place as I struggle against them, frantically trying to get to my feet…, to stop the inevitable… "Please…please Seto let me go…let me go…please…"

He ignores me as he shifts his dead white eyes to the scene playing out before us, his head tilting lightly to the right as he watches the car collide solidly with his body, sending it into the windshield, shattering it.

At the sound I scream, tearing at his arms as tears fall uncontrollably from my eyes. Leaning down he nuzzles my neck.

"Look at what you've done." He whispers softly into my shoulder. I cry harder, my body shaking violently in his embrace as my own words flow accusingly from his lips, blaming me, condemning me for all that I have done. "Its. All. Your. Fault."

With that he releases me and I fall forward into the darkness once more, his conviction echoing in the emptiness around me. Drowning me in its truth.

---------------------------------------------------------------- ------------ ----------------

More A/N: Hai, hai… I know this a lot shorter then the first chapter. Yes chapter. My muse has decided to have more then just these two parts to this little story here. I hope that you all will enjoy them. But be warned I have no idea what my evil little muse is up to with this either, so I have not a clue as to how it will end.

Also I would like to give special thanks to Vanyel Ashkevron, *waves* who has teamed up with my muse to drive me crazy. ^_^.