Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet Victory ❯ Bittersweet Victory III ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer:

Ians_K: Sign this.

Seto: What is it?

Ians_K: Nothing ^_^

Seto: …. *signs*

Ians_K: You too.

Yami: *shrugs & signs*

Ians_K: *cough* I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, but according to this binding legal contract *waves papers just signed* I do own Seto and Yami. ^_^

Seto & Yami: *jaws drop in disbelief*

Seto: Damn I knew I should have had my lawyers look at that, but they seemed to have disappeared…

Ians_K: /They'll never be found Mwahahahaha/

~~ flashback shows army of lawyers stuffed into a cave with a big rock blocking the entrance~~

Yami: Why are smiling like that? You're giving me the creeps.

Ians_K: Oh, no reason… *cough*

Warnings: Angsty?

A/N: Man that was kind of a long disclaimer, but it was worth it. *glomps Seto & Yami* Therefore I will tease you no longer and let you get on with story, as always more A/N can be found afterwards. Enjoy. ^_^

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Bittersweet Victory III

I can feel the darkness lifting from me once more and I cry out, grabbing at its insubstantial form, willing it not to leave me. I fear what might await me beyond this darkness, who might await me. But no matter how much I wish it to stay it does not. Abandoning me once more to what lies beyond its comforting numbness. Sniffing softly, I slowly allow my tear filled eyes to open, and then sigh in relief as I'm greeted by the blank stare of a plain white wall, not a foot from my face, and not the accusing gaze of a pair of opal eyes that should've been the most alluring, captivating shade of azure known to man; flawless in their perfection and beauty.

Closing my eyes I sniff lightly, biting at my lower lip in an attempt to stave off my tears. Slowly I regain control of myself and allow my eyes to drift open as I sit upright, looking around at my surroundings, at the contents of my room… How did I get here? Worrying at my lower lip I reach over to the nightstand, turning on the lamp there. What…what if it really all had been a dream? A terrible, terrible nightmare?

"No…" I choke softly as the light floods my room, illuminating everything in its soft glow, illuminating the small traces of blood that still linger on my hands, and on my clothes. Someone had obviously tried to get the blood off while I slept, Yugi no doubt. So it's true… I really did kill him…

I ignore my tears as they start anew and, reaching out, open the top drawer of the nightstand, fumbling inside for a moment before I find what it is I'm looking for. Wiping my nose with the back of my left hand I carefully unfold the tattered picture that I now hold in my right. Slowly an image of Seto emerges, the faintest hint of a smile playing across his features as he leans casually against a wall. It was taken about three years ago at Mokuba's birthday party. Mokuba had given Yugi copies of all of the pictures, but this one I had kept for myself.

I had instantly fallen in love with it the moment my eyes had laid upon it. His expression was so unguarded, so natural that I doubt he knew that anyone had been watching him at the time. Sniffing I gently run my fingertips along the side of his face, before hugging the picture to my chest. "I'm so sorry… Please…please forgive me…"

After kissing it lightly I place the picture carefully on top of the nightstand and getting out of bed grab the first articles of clothing I can find, not caring if they are clean or not and head towards the bathroom. Quickly discarding blood covered clothes onto the floor I step into the shower, snapping the hot water on, watching as it turns a reddish hue as Seto's blood is washed from my skin. But even as the blood is washed away I can still feel it lingering and falling to my knees I add to the bloodied water my tears. Tears of loss, of pain and of hatred…hatred at fate, at myself. All of my sorrow and grief spilling forward, as freely as Seto's blood had been spilled.

I don't know how long I stayed there, weeping for the loss of an unrequited love; even as my tears ran dry I stayed, picturing his face, his voice, until finally the harsh sting of freezing water biting into my skin drove me out. With no more tears left to cry I go through the motions of dressing mechanically, before moving silently down the stairs.

As I enter the living room I notice a small form lying on the couch, a blanket draped over it. Moving closer I am able to make out a shock of black hair sticking out from underneath the blankets. Mokuba… Ashamed, I turn away from him. Where as I have lost my one and only true love…a love that was not retuned, but loathed… Mokuba…, Mokuba lost his brother. His family, his blood… I used to be jealous of Mokuba, of the love that he had for Seto, a love that was returned, unquestioned and unconditional. A love that I so desperately wanted… Sniffing I wrap my arms around myself.

Gods…how many times did I wish that something would break them apart, pray that something would happen… Out of irrational jealousy of innocent love, brotherly love and devotion, I wished so many things, horrible things, but not this…never this… My eyes burn, but no tears come and hugging myself tighter I move farther into the room, going into the kitchen. There I find Yugi, who jumps in surprise as I enter.

"Ya…Yami you scared me." Yugi exclaims, bringing a hand up to his heart. "I didn't know you woke up… Are…are you feeling alright?"

I laugh shortly at the idiocy of the question, then shake my head `no'. My voice barely above a whisper I ask. "How'd we get here? What…what happened after…"

Not able to finish I trail off, sliding into a chair opposite the one that Yugi sits in at the table. Biting his lip Yugi studies his fingers for a moment before softly whispering. "You scared me and Mokuba when you passed out after…after Seto flatlined…"

Closing my eyes I turn my head lightly to the left, lowering it slightly; tears that I'd not had just moments earlier springing unbidden to my eyes.

"Mokuba and I brought you home… I tried to clean off all the blood, but…"

"It's my fault." I whisper softly. "All of it. He blamed me for everything…"

"Who?"

"Seto. In my dreams he confronted me with my betrayal, he claimed that I was responsible for his death… And I am. I am."

"No you're not. Yami, there was nothing that you could have done." Yugi whispers; pain filling his voice. After taking a deep breath he continues. "Yami, Seto…Seto's not dead."

My eyes snapping open I stare at him in pure shock. "But…but I saw him die… You just said…"

"I know. He did…but, when… God…" Pausing he closes his eyes for a moment before continuing. "After you passed out…they tried… God they tried so hard… After five, ten minutes they gave up… They said that…that there was nothing that they could do… That they were sorry…"

Sniffing he reaches up, wiping at tears as they slowly start to trail down his cheeks, before laughing softly. "But Mokuba…. Mokuba wouldn't let them give up. He told them what they could do with their condolences. He got up in their faces and practically threatened them to within an inch of their lives, their professional ones anyways." He sniffs lightly. "He might not look or act like it, but Mokuba is a Kaiba through and through. He would have done Seto proud, I think…"

I cry then, tears that I didn't previously poses spilling from my eyes as I repeat what Yugi had just told me over and over again in my head; letting its meaning sink into my soul and into my heart. Seto was alive.

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat Yugi clears his throat, gaining my attention once more. "Yami, Seto suffered from a very serious head injury, the doctors aren't sure if it was caused by the car hitting him or from when he hit the ground but, he's…he's in a coma…"

"Coma? I…I don't…understand…"

Biting his lip Yugi looks distressed for a moment, seeming to search for words, before settling on the simplest ones. "It's…it's like he's sleeping."

"If he's sleeping then can't you just wake him up?" I ask softly, not comprehending why this would distress Yugi so. If Seto was sleeping, then that meant that he was going to get better, right?

"Yami it's not that simple… The doctors don't…they don't think that he ever will wake up and even if he does they don't think that he'll… It's just… It took them so long to revive him Yami. Too long…" Trailing off Yugi wipes at his eyes fiercely, turning his head away from me.

"Do…do you think that he'll wake up?" I ask softly.

Sighing Yugi runs a hand through his hair. "I think… I think that Seto's too stubborn and prideful not to. He just needed a little help before. He's not a quitter; he doesn't know the meaning of the word `surrender'; so I know that he'll fight to come back to us, to Mokuba. I don't think anyone, fate and destiny included, could force him to do anything he didn't want to."

I flinch at that and the movement, slight as it is, is not missed by Yugi. But to his credit he doesn't comment on it.

"Mokuba got Seto a private room at the hospital and set it up so that we could visit him. We're planning to go tomorrow. Sometimes when people are hurt or sick, having the people that love them around helps. You are going to come, aren't you?"

Suppressing a sob I shake my head `no', while everything in me wants to scream the opposite.

"Why not?" Yugi asks softly. "You do love him, don't you?"

"Yes." I say without any hesitation. "Oh Gods, Yugi. I love him more than anything, more than life itself. I would have willingly given my life this day to spare him the pain that he is suffering. Because…because of me…"

"Yami…" Yugi sighs softly. "It's not because of you. You didn't do anything. Why don't you want to come?"

"I want to Yugi, trust me, I do. But I can't. He…he wouldn't want me there…"

"Yami." He says softly, standing and moving around the table to stand by me. "What happened between you and Seto?"

"Nothing." I whisper softly, a lone tear trailing down my still damp cheeks.

Reaching out he wipes at the tear gently. "We both know that's a lie. Something happened. Whatever it is you need to let it go, both of you do; now more then ever. Please tell me what happened. Please."

When I don't respond he asks softly. "Did he know? Did you tell him that you loved him? Did…did he freak out on you? Tell me. Tell me what happened."

Closing my eyes I can hear a softly spoken murmur, too low to make out the words. Can taste the salty sweetness of Seto's skin as I kiss it. Can feel the pressure building inside of me as I thrust myself unto him. Can feel the softness of his damp hair entwined in my fingers as I pull him close. Can hear myself whispering, whispering of love. Can hear myself crying out his name in pure ecstasy. And beneath it all a constant soft sobbing, and the feel of tears on my skin as he shakes in my arms…

"I…I tried to tell him, but I don't think that he heard." I whisper softly, not wanting to tell the whole truth. "But that's not why."

"Then what is? What happened?" Yugi pleads. "Yami this has been tearing you apart for five years."

"I can't tell you. All I can tell you Yugi is what you already know. That I screwed up." Choking I blink back my tears. "I did something that…that I never should have done… Something so horrible that if I told you, I know that you would hate me, like he does…"

"That's not true Yami. No matter what happened, no matter what you did, I could never hate you."

"Don't be so sure." Briefly I lift my tear filled eyes up to meet his, before lowering them again. "For what I've done there could never be forgiveness. His has already been denied to me…"

"Yami there is always the chance of forgiveness. Don't give up hope." He lightly whispers, wrapping his arms around my neck in a strong hug. "Come and see Seto with us tomorrow. Don't give up on hope. Don't give up on him. As strong as Seto is, he can't do this alone, and if you don't see him now, then you may never get the chance to again."

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Yugi's words followed me to sleep that night. The last lingering more than anything. And as I dreamt I caught glimpses of a tall pale figure. I could feel his eyes on me as he followed me in shadow through my dreams. Once, I had stopped and had waited for him, but he never neared, always lingering at the very edge of my awareness. He never spoke to me either, even when I spoke his name. It was only when sleep began to fade that he neared. For the longest time he simply stood there, not ten feet from me, regarding me with filmy white eyes, before tilting his head slightly and offering his right hand out to me, a small smile gracing his lips. It was the same gesture he'd used in an earlier dream that night, in the dreams that he had haunted and condemned me, but now he offered no words, only the simple gesture.

It was Yugi's words and the dream that convinced me to go the hospital with him and Mokuba the next day. That had been a little over four years ago.

I'll never forget that first day I went to see Seto. Yugi and Mokuba had been detained by doctors and I'd moved ahead without them. Silently and nervously seeking out the room that was Seto's, both longing and dreading to see him. It wasn't long until I found his room and after steeling my courage entered. Immediately I had been assaulted by the mechanical rasp of a life support machine. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I had looked up.

Seto lay unmoving in the single bed that occupied the starkly white room; a tangle of tubes and IV's covering his left arm. As I moved closer I could see that they'd stuck a tube down his throat, which was attached to the ventilator. They had his right leg up in a cast as well as his right arm. He was covered in bandages that could be seen under the hospital gown he wore, going around his neck and shoulder, before disappearing once more underneath the flimsy material. He had also had some bandages wrapped around his head, a few stray locks of brown hair sticking out through the wrappings, which were stained in some places by dried blood.

I would have broken down then too, if the doctor had not entered, Yugi and Mokuba in tow. When I'd asked him about Seto's injuries he had simply listed them off, counting them on his fingers as he prattled on.

"Let's see…he's suffered severe head trauma, his right leg, arm and shoulder blade are all broken. His right wrist was also shattered from the force of impact when he hit the ground. Most of his ribs were also broken, some piercing his lungs, resulting in internal bleeding, there's a slight possibility of…"

Whatever he'd said after that I do not know. I had tuned him out then, turning my attention and gaze back to Seto. The ghastly pallor of his skin reminding me uneasily of the dreams I'd had the night before.

Slowly over the months the bandages had been removed. And two years ago, along with Mokuba's reluctant consent, the doctors had decided to take him off of full life support… He'd immediately gone into respiratory failure and we had almost lost him, but now he is breathing more or less on his own. A small victory.

Also as time has passed so too have the doctors' hope and optimism, if they'd even ever had any. Many seem to believe that he will remain a `vegetable' for the rest of his life, never to awaken. And on the off chance that he does awaken they believe that he will have little or no mental capacity due to possible brain damage from being under for so long. Even Seto's enemies have given up on him. No longer seeing him as a threat, instead turning their attention to his successor - Mokuba.

Mokuba had taken over the responsibilities of running Kaiba Crop. not long after the accident. At first he'd made it a point to visit Seto everyday, but the pressures of running his brothers company and attending college have taken their toll on him and have kept him away. He hasn't come for months now. Everyday Yugi and the others grow more worried about him, fearing that the weight of his burdens will break him.

Yugi likewise has been unable to visit for quite a while, most of his time spent running the Game Shop and caring for grandpa who has fallen ill this past year. As for the others… Well, they stopped coming weeks after the accident. They may have had a grudging respect for Seto, but that is all.

Only I have continued to come everyday, regardless of weather or anything else that may try to stop me. And as I move silently down these white corridors, the metallic sent of sterility and antibiotics assailing my senses, its nauseating effects having not diminished as time has passed, I can feel their eyes on me. I have no want or need for their pity.

Gingerly I finger the long stem of the single rose I carry, running my fingers up the stem as I turn it slowly in one hand. Tracing the delicate curve of a long slender thorn I bring it up to inhale its subtly sweet and seductive perfume. I can feel something else in their gazes… From the doctors and hospital staff a curiosity, and an almost sad admiration. For they have grown used to seeing me come day after day, even after the others had stopped. From patients and their family and visitors there is curiosity yes, and sadness, but also in some disapproval or perhaps even disgust. I smile softly at their discomfiture, caressing one of the dark petals. Black. Not red or pink or even white, but black. That is why they stare. Perhaps they think it morbid, but it does not matter what they think.

He had always loved this color; he thought it beautiful. He had always looked his best in black; its darkness contrasting perfectly with the paleness of his skin, drawing out the subtlest shades of blue in his eyes, making them all the more unsettling and unnatural in their beauty…

I am drawn out of my thoughts as I approach his room and my pace lessens as I step quietly up to the door. Putting on a shaky smile I reach up and softly knock on the door as I've done every time I have come here. I receive the usual answer of silence in return and gently push the door open, stepping quietly into the room.

"Ohayo." I whisper softly as I close the door behind me and move to stand next to his bed.

A smile twitches at the corners of my lips and I reach out running the fingers of my left hand lightly over the black silk of his shirt. Mokuba had brought some of Seto's clothes over when it was apparent that he would be staying here for a long time, refusing to have Seto wear the hospitals flimsy, undignified gown for what could be the rest of his life. The smile quickly fades however as my eyes drift to take all of Seto in. His shirt appears to swallow him; he has lost so much weight, his muscles weakening from years of not being used. His skin has grown even paler, almost pasty in appearance and lies gaunt over his slender frame. His hair is no longer soft and shiny but lies in a dull halo about his head, its strands slightly longer than normal and soon will be in the need of a cut.

I sniff lightly, before pushing my sadness and doubt away, instead putting on another shaky smile. I raise the rose up to inhale its scent one last time, before gently kissing the dark petals. Reaching out I then run the bud of the rose softly along the left side of Seto's face and up over his lips in a gentle caress, before placing it by his side on the pillow.

"Seto-kun?" I ask softly, my eyes lowering. "Seto…, will you wake up for me today?" He does not answer and I sigh softly, gently brushing at his bangs. "Please?"

Still he remains silent, lying unmoving, trapped within the darkness of his dreams. My smile wavers once more, but I ignore the pain in my heart.

"I know… Let's play a game. Would you like to play a game with me Seto?" I ask quietly, moving a chair over to the bed. "The rules are simple. If I win then you wake up and if I lose…then you wake up anyways."

Taking his silence for agreement to the terms I reach into my pockets, drawing out a deck of cards from each. One is my own and the other belongs to Seto… He had stopped playing shortly after our last duel… Mokuba had found his deck stuffed into the dark recesses of a drawer in his desk at work a little over three years ago and after much pleading he had allowed me to have it around six months ago. Which at the time both pleased and disturbed me greatly. For Mokuba knew more than anyone, perhaps even more than myself, what Seto's deck meant to him. It scared me that he had given it up, given it to me, as though his own hope that Seto would awaken was all but gone. And perhaps it is, perhaps everyone has lost their faith in him, without themselves even realizing it.

Sighing I push such thoughts out of my head and after shuffling and cutting each deck I place them both by Seto's side, then clear a space for them on the side table next to his bed. After placing his deck on his side of the table I draw five cards from it, keeping them face down as I place them unseen beside the deck. Moving the chair to face the table I take my seat, drawing five cards as well regarding them as I plan my opening move. I have played other games with Seto, other duels, that I have both won and lost. He has yet to honor the rules, but it is for me more than for him, I think, that I duel. Glancing up to look at him briefly I set down my first cards, ending my turn.

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I am drawn out of the darkness of sleep by a whisper against my skin, so soft it had barely been felt. I had fallen asleep after having played four games with Seto, two of which I had won and two of which I had lost. I scowl briefly at the thought of that damned Ultimate Blue Eyes White Dragon that Seto is so proud of, as well as the other three Blue Eyes for that matter, before yawning softly and lifting my head from the sheets of Seto's bed just enough so that I can wipe tiredly at my eyes with my left hand.

Once again I feel the light whisper against my skin and blinking look down at my right hand whose fingers are still lightly entwined with Seto's own. As I watch Seto's fingers move slightly, the barest of motions, feather light against my skin. Swallowing lightly my gaze lingers for a moment before, moving from our hands up to his face as I stand shakily. "Seto-kun…?"

His brow furrows slightly at my whisper, before smoothing out once more, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Panic rising within me that I will lose him again, that he will slip back into darkness, I release his hand, moving mine up to brush at his bangs and tilt his head slightly in my direction.

"Seto, please." I whisper softly, sniffing as I try to get him to respond again.

After a moment his eyelashes flutter gently, but do not open. And for an instant I am struck by pure unadulterated fear, fear of seeing those eyes. Fear of what they might hold when they look upon me. Fear that they won't be the same endless blue pools of ice that had first ensnared me and drowned me in their cold beauty…

My gaze is snapped back to his however as his lashes flutter once more, before opening slowly, barely lifting, then closing. Biting back my fear, a single tear falling slowly down my cheek, I brushed lighting at his bangs, biting my lower lip softly. His lashes once again flutter and this time his eyes slide slowly open to look at me without seeing. My breath catches as I look into his dull, slightly filmed eyes. But as they close and open once more they become clearer. And as he turns his head slightly away from me, his eyes sliding close once more; I step back, stumbling against the chair, blindly moving towards the door. As my back hits it I turn, struggling with the handle before flinging it open and running into the silent hallway…

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More AN:

Please first let me ask you all to sign the NC-17 ban removal petition if you already haven't.

http://www.petitiononline.com/KEEPNC17/petition.htmlÂ

And please sign this petition I've found for an uncut/subtitled version of Yu-Gi-Oh!

http://www.petitiononline.com/CiscoR/petition.html

And please I also ask that if you can, please e-mail the people at 4Kids Entertainment â"¢ for a duel (no pun intended) release of an uncut, subtitled, complete version of Yu-Gi-Oh!

Even more A/N: I am so sorry it has taken so long to get this out. But Yami wouldn't come out of his pity party and all Hell broke loose in the `RW' and it's been hard. Let's see in response to some questions and/or whatnot…

Katarik - Seeing as to what my muse is telling/hinting to me as to what is going to happen to this story I don't think that a Seto POV of the first chappie will be possible. And besides that, just thinking about getting into Seto's head too deeply right there scares me. ^_^; As for what he would have asked for, I have no idea. The change in rules where Yami's idea and so Seto really hadn't planed for them. He most likely would have reserved the right to claim his prize when he really needed something from Yami though, instead of claiming one right then. Strategic little bastard that he is. ^_~ As for not telling anyone about what happened and being ashamed… Well, you need to understand that basically what happened in the first chapter was consensual nonconsensual sex. ^^; Seto really didn't want any part of it, but Yami kinda forced his hand by questioning his honor and so in Seto's eyes he had no choice. As for them not being friends, that's why I always tack up an AU, hehe that way I'm covered. But seriously I myself have only seen Yu-Gi-Oh as it is shown on KidsWB â"¢ and so in my view they become kinda friends. You know a friendship born more out of respect than anything else, at least on Seto's side, for Yami it's kind of a crush.

Peruisnia - If your bread is abuse and your water is sex, then you'll most likely then not like my other YGO! work that is still in the works. ^^; As stated in my profile, it won't be posted here upon completion do to FF.net's NC-17 ban. T_T So check my profile every once and awhile and see if I've put up a link.

And also I would like to thank Vanyel-chan for stapling me and my muse to my chair and making us finish this. ^_^. And the score to `The Crow' © for helping me when I was in a slump.