Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Darkness ❯ lost words ( Chapter 6 )

 

 

Chapter Six : Loss of Words

 

(Disclaimer: you've heard it all before, but if you need a recap, I don't own Yu- Gi- Oh.)

 

 

“What the hell was that pup?”

 

Clearly he was asking me a question. You and I could see that. But at that moment in time, all I noticed was that he called me pup. So I replied the same way I normally do under stress. Without thought.

 

“We almost kissed.”

 

Yet again, obvious.

 

I was looking up at him, with him halfway across the room and his eyes scanning the room, his eyes landing anywhere but me.

 

“I meant Yugi, Jou. We'll talk about that later.”

 

My heart sank, along with my stomach and I felt it twist in pain. He was going to tell me he didn't like me that way, and that if I put him in that situation again he'd throw me out. I felt more depressed than I'd ever felt before, more that when I cried in the alleyway, and when I screamed in the washroom, and when I sat at the dinner table. I wanted to go back to hiding under his bed, and stay there for eternity. But instead I looked up at him, and hardened my heart.

 

“No.” I said it with more courage than I really had, and any one with eyes could tell that.

 

“What?” he hissed, his anger over coming him yet again.

 

“No, we aren't going to talk about this. What you and Yugi both want to know, I'm never going to tell you!”

 

“Pup, whatever's wrong, I'll pay someone to fix. Just tell me what's wrong.”

 

“You'll pay someone?” I sneered with a wrinkled nose. I felt the pain of his comment morph into hate, and I stood up, my eyes burning with fury.

 

“You'll pay someone? You egotistical bastard, how dare you. You think you can just throw around money and expect things to happen. Well guess what. This is one person who won't be tinkered with like some stupid gadget that has a flaw.”

 

I waved furiously around the room, at his collection of chips and robotic crap, then I pointed at my heart, and the tears streaming down my face fell onto my lips. I didn't, now that I look back on it, know how much what I was saying must hurt him, and he only told me till later on in both our lives, but at that time, this wasn't what I really truly felt. In my heart I wanted to crawl into his arms, and spill my hearts wishes and blood upon his hands, so he would understand what I was going through, no matter how cruel or unwanted this information may have been. I wanted him to kiss my forehead, and tell me that no matter how different I was, or what happened, he would always love me.

 

“I'm Jou. Broken. Sick. And blind. And if you think that fixing me will help, then your sorely mistaken, you fix the train set but it never runs the way it used to. I'll never be the same Jou!”

 

He stared at me in shock, as if I had just told him that his brother was a stripper, and he had a wife back in Canada.

 

“Your what?” he crocked, his shock making his voice go deeper, because, despite my anger towards him, the sound made a shiver climb its way down my back.

 

I froze as I went over what I had said.

 

I told him.

 

God no.

 

I jumped back and looking around wildly, while hyperventilating, I backed my self into the corner, with him closing in one me. To run for the door I had to get through him, and I knew that would be impossible.

 

My thoughts went crazy, they had no order or rhyme, and they just rushed past me. He stared at me with such pain, as if he couldn't bear to see me in such a state.

 

“Jou, speak to me.”

 

I just shook my head and buried my face into my hands. I couldn't deal with this. It was to sudden, I hadn't planned on telling him until the day before being admitted to the hospital. After I had told him I loved him. Gods, it wasn't fair.

 

When life throws you lemons, throw them right back. I used to say, but I flt like I was suddenly in a batting cage, and the launcher had been turned on. A ball hits my leg, my mother left me, leaving me with no support from her. Another ball hits my other leg, my father gets sent to jail for harassment to a prostitute, leaving me with out money support. A ball hits my face, I will, in two weeks time, lose my eye sight. A ball hits my heart, I will lose the one love I have ever cherished. a ball hits my stomach, I lose the trust of my best friend. Someday, I will lose everything, and on that day, I will lose my soul.

 

He edged closer to me, and kneeled. He took my hands, and gently pulled them away from my face.

 

“Say it.” he demanded. I really didn't know what he was asking of me. I was so confused. But I had a vague feeling he wanted me to tell him straight out, what was wrong.

 

“I can't.” I sobbed harder. It was just too much. I had closed this chapter; I didn't want to reread it. unfortunately I had left Yugi and Kaiba back in the other chapter, and now, I had to go get them.

 

“Yes you can. Say it pup.”

 

I took a deep breath, and with it shuddering out of me, I whispered the thing I had yet believe myself.

 

“I-I'm going blind, Kaiba.”

 

(thisisialinethisisaline)

Yasiko: so sorry it took so long. Report card time, had to make a good impression on my mom. ^ ^