Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have To Do ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimer: If I owned this show, wouldn't I be... I dunno, RICH?!? AND I'M NOT, SO LEMME 'LONE!

AN: Tweet tweet! Tra la la la la la. LA!

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- Chapter Four -

...why has no one come to save me?

The color of my face is now remarkably similar to that of an overripe tomato. Yami's still sniggering against my hair, and my waist has gone numb from his grip. Father's red and turning green, and the Miyakis all look as though they've swallowed something sour. Ooof! Since when is Yami so... grabby?

I mean, sure I wanted him to be more affectionate, but this is getting a little bit ridiculous.

Mmm. Affection. Mmm. Yummy. Good kisser, my yami is, a very good kisser. Must encourage him to do that more often. Mmm.

Have I mentioned that I'm losing the feeling in my legs?

/Yami?/

Giggling.

/Ahem. Yami!/

Snicker. //...devil-whore... brother... HA!//

There is only one sure-fire way to get to him when he's like this. /YAMI!/

He shuts up.

Perhaps the mental image of him being beaten to a bloody pulp with my trusty frying pan was a bit extreme, but one of these days... other half or not, I swear I'll break his kneecaps.

A loud burst of racous laughter interrupts my plotting, followed by an incredulous shout that nearly deafens me. "You?! Break my kneecaps?"

...oh, look! Hazumi just jumped about three feet in the air! Ha! And father looks really sick! Whee!

I not-so-discreetly plant my elbow in his ribs. "I could too, if I wanted!"

He's batting at the dangly bits of our Ring again. Is he doing this to cuddle, or is he really that spastic?

"And Yugioh could be seen wearing baggy pajama pants. ...grr. Stupid fucking-"

"Oi! Language, boy!"

Yami twirls me around, and we blink at each other. I didn't say that - he didn't say that - so who said it?

Oh. Mr. Miyaki said it. In fact, Mr. Miyaki is now discreetly backing away from my yami's very leathal glare.

"What... did you say, mortal?"

Oh, fuck. Yami's mad. More than that, Yami's pissed. Quick! Grab the hard hats and evacuate the area! Lock up the women and children! Pray to whatever deity you can find, 'cause Yami no Bakura's about to go postal!

...and he's got a sharp pointy thing! Ye gods!

Not to mention he's stalking forward with a decidedly evil smirk on his lips and the Ring around his neck is starting to sparkle with a malevolent glint.

Hikari to the rescue!

So I jump forward and grab his arm, squeaking when he turns those 'Hello, I'm an evil Egyptian spirit, and I'm planning to eat your soul!' eyes on me.

"Eeep! Yami! No no no!"

Those oh so pretty and oh so frightening eyes narrow.

He picks me up like I weigh nothing, swivels around, and promptly drops me on the floor. He's already reaching for our deck when I wrap my arms around his legs and squeeze. "Yamiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

A growl. //Hikari, if you do not let go of me right now...//

"No! You promised me you'd try not to kill anyone this week!"

"Try! I've tried! And now I'm about to fail! Let go!" he snaps, wriggling away, but I'm not letting him go.

Suddenly, an evil thought pops into my head. "All right, yami, you can kill him," I say agreeably, ignoring the fact that the Miyakis and my father are now all gaping at me with horror pasted across their faces.

Yami hesitates and glances down at me with an odd look on his face. "Aibou...?"

"But..." I turn on the puppy dog eyes and bite my lip, "You'd be breaking a promise..." I sniff dramatically, "You'd hurt my feelings... and I'll tell Yugi that you're being mean to me..."

"Keh! Why the hell should I care what the pharaoh's damn brat thinks about me?"

"And Yugi would tell his yami..." I continue, getting to my feet and gently settling my hands around the Ring on his chest, staring deliberately up into his eyes, which have been slowly softening throughout my little speech, "And then Yugi's yami..." I pause and kick up the adoreableness a notch, leaning forward and threading a hand carefully through his hair. He's wavering. I pout a little bit more and look as beseeching as I possibly can. Aha! He's reaching for me! Gotcha! I press myself up against his chest - and speak. "Would... KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

He actually takes a step back. My yami, the great and terrible tomb robber, actually takes a step back and stares at me in shock.

I feel absurdly pleased with myself.

"Hikari..." he murmurs, stunned, "My girly little hikari..."

I bristle. "Who are you calling a - mmph!"

Note to self: It is extremely difficult to yell at a yami when that yami has decided to stick his tongue down your throat.

He lets go of me just as quickly - um... what's going on? Then he plucks me off my feet and twirls me around like we're in some twisted version of a romantic comedy from the 40's and I'm Audrey Hepburn. "I'm so proud of you!" he squeals happily, "I'll make you evil yet!"

I'm getting dizzy from all the twirling. I half suspect this was his intent. "But I can't be evil... 'm a hikari..."

He plops me down and kisses me hard. Again. I am... getting confused. Enjoying myself, but getting confused. "Doesn't matter," he purrs once we part, "So's Malik."

"But Malik's a loony!" I protest, squirming as he starts fiddling with my hair, "I'm normal!"

Yami snorts and gives me a Look. "Normal? My hikari?"

I glare at him warningly. "Yami..."

"Ryou?" a timid voice interrupts.

We blink at each other. Not once in all of our time together has he called me by my real name. "Hey you!" perhaps, or "Stupid fucking weakling!" or even the occasional, "Girly little hikari of fluff filled DOOM!" (He was extremely high on sugar at the time. Kept accusing Malik of stealing his pancakes. My yami doesn't eat pancakes.) But if it wasn't us...?

I peek over his shoulder to see the Miyakis huddled behind an overturned table and my father standing hesitantly next to them, looking ready to bolt.

Oops.

"Yes, father?" I ask sheepishly, trying to ignore the fact that my yami has started nuzzling my hair and humming a happy little tune that I usually only hear when he's concocting an evil plan to kill Yugi's yami. (Or when he's planning to hunt down the fiends who dared to sneeze whilst I was passing by. Or when he's spied a shiny thing that Yami No Bakura Wants. Or when he's watching the news and they show footage of mutliated bodies. Those times he plops down in front of the tv with a bag full of popcorn, a can of soda, and big shiny sparkly eyes. Yes, he is that scary.)

He raises a finger in question. "So is your, um, boyfriend... going to kill Mr. Miyaki or not?"

What the hell? "He's not my boyfriend. He's my yami. And he's not killing anyone. Eeep! Yami! I said no!"

"Baka weakling," he grumbles against my neck.

"Baka tomb robber," I grumble back, tugging on a spiky piece of his hair.

"Itai!"

"Nyah! Eeep!"

I cannot believe he just bit me on the nose. I cannot believe him. I am going to slap him. I am going to slap him. I am going to slap him into next Saturday. Unfortunately, he is not cooperating with being slapped. Instead, he has ducked around me and is glowering at my father. Again. While I am standing here looking foolish and staring at the wall.

So I turn around and jump on his back. Ignore me will you?!

"Oof! Hikariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

My, he sounds agitated. In fact, he's getting downright pissed, if I'm correctly interpreting the emotion that's currently pounding at my brain.

"Yami!" I snap, deliberately tightening my grip, "No killing anyone! At least not people I know!"

//Aibou...// he hisses dangerously, //Let. Go. Of. Me.//

"Not until you promise me that you won't kill anyone in this room!"

He's rolling his eyes, I just know it. "Very well, little hikari. I promise I won't kill anyone in this room."

/Really?/

//Really.//

...why do I have the sneaking suspicion that that was waaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy?

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