Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Duel of Love ❯ Lonely ( Chapter 19 )

Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu-Gi-Oh, wish I did but I don’t!  Don’t own the song either…   A/N: So…I’m looking forward to writing this so I’m hoping you’re looking forward to reading it!   Duel of Love   Chapter 20: Lonely   Pharaoh Atemu        No…I can’t die…not yet…I need to be with her…she loves me…she loves me…   Katiana        I just stayed where I was…I didn’t know if I was going to wait for someone to walk in on me and the pharaoh’s dead body or what…but I couldn’t move.  I didn’t want to move.  I was crying heavily still…I didn’t think my tears would stop flowing.      “I l…love you…” I whispered.      “I know,” a whisper fell into my ear and I looked, raising my head and watching the pharaoh’s stomach rise and fall.  It couldn’t be…I watched…he shattered!      “P…Pharaoh!” I exclaimed, “You…you’re…”      “I could…could not leave,” he said, looking up into my eyes from where he lay upon my lap, “I couldn’t leave you…not when…I love you…”      “But you…y…you…” I stammered.      “I know I’m supposed to be dead, you watched me shatter, didn’t you?” he asked and I nodded.      “Pharaoh…” I began but he raised a hand weakly and placed it on mine, which was resting on his chest.      “You called me…by my name Miss Katiana…” he said, “Thank you…It’s been so long…”      “I…I…” I couldn’t find my words…I didn’t know how to accept this.  I mean…he’s alive and I could tell he was back…  But…do I believe him?  Do I forgive him?  I don’t know…I don’t know…      “I can’t apologize…enough for what I did to you…” he said, “Time and time again…I had hurt you…I’m so sorry…”  Do I accept his apology?  Do I forgive him?  I cannot hate him, I love him…and yet…I cannot forgive him.      “I…I can’t f…forgive you…” I whispered and his eyes widened slightly and then they relaxed.      “It’s amazing how I don’t feel hurt by that,” he said.  Was he…just saying that to try to make me feel better or something?  Was he trying to bypass my emotions, get around them…and get my forgiveness another way?      “But…” I began.   Now it seems to me That you know just what to say But words are only words Can you show me something else?        “Just being here…with you is enough…” he said, shifting slightly as I held onto him and I looked down into his crimson orbs and he smiled at me, “I love you…”      “H…How can I trust you?” I asked.      “There’s no way to prove you…prove that you’ll be able to trust me…again…” he said and my face fell.      “So you did l…lie to me…” I said, “About…about eve…everything…”      “I admit I made mistakes,” he began, “But I never lied about loving you…”   Can you swear to me that you’ll always be this way? Show me how you feel More than ever baby        “N…Never…lied?” I asked and he nodded.      “I know…that you won’t want to trust me, I know…that you have been toyed with… hurt…manipulated…but I never lied about…loving you…” he said, “I never…wanted to hurt you…”      “Pharaoh,” I said, feeling fresh tears rush to my eyes, “I d…don’t know…”      “I’m sorry,” he whispered and gripped my hand tightly in his, “I love you…that’s all I know…all I truly know…”      “Pha…Pharaoh…” I whispered.      “Why…why do you love…someone like me?” he asked, “How could you…after all I did to you?”      “I can’t n…not love you, I can’t f…fall out of l…love,” I sobbed, “I c…can’t hate someone I l…love…and yet…”   Well I don’t want to be lonely no more I don’t want to have to pay for this I don’t want another lover at my door It’s just another heartache on my list.        I don’t know what to think… I love him…and he hurt me…why were things never easy?      “I can’t apologize enough…Miss Katiana…there is no excuse hurting you…failing to protect you…walking away…not being there…” he said and her hand moved and I rested my hand on his heart, “I’m sorry…”      “I…I…” I sobbed, “My l…life was in danger because of y…your games...  My heart h…hurts pharaoh…it h…hurts so bad…”      “It does?” he asked and I nodded.      “And y…you shouldn’t h…have…” I started.      “I shouldn’t have what?” he asked and I gulped.      “I’m j…just a p…priestess…you’re the pha…pharaoh…” I said, “You b…bring balance...maat…”      “Don’t ever think that,” he said, bringing up both his hands to grip mine, “You would be a much better pharaoh…You’re so kind…intelligent…beautiful…”    &nbs p; “I’m s…so scarred!” I exclaimed sobbing, “I c…can…never…”      “You are beautiful…the most beautiful around…each scar…it doesn’t matter to me… each scar only make you more beautiful…” he whispered, “And I love you…all of you.”      “I s…still can’t forgive…” I whispered and he looked as though he expected it, “I d…don’t know if I c…can trust anyone…”   Pharaoh Atemu        “So long as you don’t leave me I don’t care…”  I said, and I would pray to Amun-Ra everyday that she would slowly learn to trust again.  I loved her, it was that simple.  I wouldn’t mess up this again…I loved her.  I’d do it right this time…Something… something I should have done before…  She held onto me…clutching my clothes, her head buried in my shoulder.  Ra…I loved her…she’s the only one I’ll ever love.   I don’t wanna be angry no more You’re the one who could never stand for this So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure I don’t wanna be lonely anymore        “Pharaoh…” she said slowly, and I picked myself up.  I had enjoyed being in her lap but I wanted…I wanted to hold her…show her I meant what I said.  I had to prove to her she could trust me again and I wanted to show her I truly loved her.  I sat up and she looked at me, blinking twice, wondering what I was going to do.  She loved me…I still couldn’t get past the fact she loved me.  I took her hands into mine once more and slowly pulled her towards me.  She called me by my name…and she loved me…  I pulled her into my embrace, into my lap and held her there gently.  I cradled her against me as the tears gathering in my eyes fell.  She loved me and that was more than enough for me.   Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh        “Miss Katiana,” I whispered, holding her, cradling her gently against me like she was the most precious thing in the world…and to me…she was.  Ra, I thank you…thank you so much for letting me find this wonderful woman…thank you for letting her love me.      “Pha…Pharaoh…” she whispered but I hushed her and held her, running a hand through her hair, which was soft as silk and smooth as polished metal.  She was simple… and I loved her for everything that she was…she was mine and I would love her, cherish her and protect her.  I couldn’t get over the fact that she still loved me…even after all I did to her!  I leaned back against a wall and cradled her against me and felt her relax into my arms and her hand gripped onto one of my shoulders and she buried her face into my chest, but I didn’t mind.      “Don’t ever leave me, my princess,” I whispered to her, “I need you…”      “B…But…” she said, looking up at me but I simply hushed her once again.      “Shhh…” I whispered, noting the tired look that was in her eyes, “You should rest… you’ve been through more now than anyone, including me…please, just rest…rest and let me hold you.”      “Why?” she asked, a small puzzled look in her eyes.      “Because I like the feel of you in my arms,” I whispered and she smiled faintly.  She may not want to trust me or anyone for that matter but she received compliments well, something not many did…even if she didn’t think she deserved them.  I felt her relax into my arms and began to drift asleep.  My princess…my love…Ra, don’t ever leave me!   Now it’s hard for me When my hearts still on the mend Open up to me Like you do your girlfriends   High Priest Seto        I went to check in on how Katiana was doing.  When I peeked into the room I saw that she wasn’t on the bed, instead, I noted she was sleeping in the pharaoh’s arms!      “Pharaoh…” I began softly and he raised his head and looked at me with a smile, “What is going on?”
     “She saved me,” he said simply, “She saved me.”      “What do you mean?” I asked, coming forward and kneeling down to check on her.  She was sleeping very peacefully and she was clutching onto the pharaoh, something that didn’t unnerve me as much as I thought it would.      “My darker half…she came into my mind,” he began, “And there she fought to save me.  I had mustered my power to defeat him because I didn’t want him to hurt her again…but she saved me…”      “I see,” I whispered and touched her back slightly and felt her shiver, “She managed to get into your mind?”      “Yes, did you happen to teach her how to do that?” he asked.      “Yes and no,” I explained, “I know she would watch me do it but she never managed it herself.”      “Learning by sight?’ he asked puzzled.      “I honestly do not know,” I replied, “I never taught her it directly.”      “She’s just a little heavy,” he said, changing the subject, trying to stand up with her in his arms, “But not much.”  I was grateful for the change in subject, he might start asking questions I wasn’t ready to answer just yet and those I weren’t ready for…at least not yet.      “That spell must have drained her…” I suggested, “If she’s never trained with it before then it would possibly drain her faster than any other spells she can do.”  I wouldn’t say it out loud but she looked still so beautiful…never mind the scars she now bore.       “I see…” he said and stood up fully, his height still not reaching mine and he set Katiana down on the bed before getting onto it as well and taking her into his embrace once again, leaning back against the headboard, grinning at me sheepishly.      “She saved me,” he whispered in awe and I found myself sitting down on the bed as well, reaching out to touch her hair before drawing back.      “There are a lot of secrets she has,” I whispered and he looked at me oddly.   And you sing to me And it’s harmony Girl what you do to me is everything Let me say anything just to get you back again Why can’t we just try?        “Will you tell me those?” he asked and I regarded him with surprise.  I would have to if he forced it.      “I cannot…unless you order me to do so,” I said, speaking carefully, choosing every word with precision, “They are her secrets.  If she wishes to tell them to you, she will… they are not for me to say and not for me to give to others.  You of all people should know the value of personal secrets.”      “I do,” he said and pressed his cheek against Katiana’s hair.  He didn’t seem to care about my prescience…was he too happy about what had just happened to care?  Did she tell him she loved him back and forgive him?  No…she wouldn’t trust him…she wouldn’t trust anyone for a long time now.  She may love him, of this I was certain, but trust was something the pharaoh would have to earn from her again…      “She kept one of your secrets as well,” I said, trying to ignore the shot of jealousy that ran through me, jealous of seeing her in his arms instead of mine…jealous of the fact she loved him and not me in the same way…I had claimed her…but she had fallen for someone else.       “Ra, this woman…Miss Katiana, she is simply…” he trailed off and sighed before turning slightly to face me, “High Priest Seto, this Priestess here…she is stronger than you I think, just like she said she was.”       “I have to argue that point however,” I said, glad for a little banter because the previous conversation might have led to answers I didn’t want to say or truths I didn’t want to hear, at least not yet.      “And that is merely because you have not trained her spells well enough,” he pointed out, “She would be better apt against you if you would let her learn.”      “And yet I fear not.  I tried to teach her once, and she almost ended up lighting another priestess on fire,” I replied.      “The one that tried to kill her?” he asked in a dangerous tone.      “You tried to kill her as well,” I pointed out.      “That was my other half High Priest, you should know better,” he warned.      “I apologize,” I said quickly, stating to myself a few reasons why an argument wouldn’t be good with Katiana so soundly asleep, “I don’t recall who it was.”      “Oh,” was all I got as a reply and I decided to myself I should go.      “I will check on my priestess later,” I said, “I have other duties I must attend to my pharaoh or else I would stay.”      “I understand,” he replied, “Ra be with you.”      “Yes my pharaoh,” I said, standing and regarding him with a short bow.  I walked out of the room and shut the door gently behind me, making sure not to close it all the way.  Katiana, she had helped the pharaoh defeat his darker half; she had captured his heart and mine.  I loved her…my heart ached for her…I truly loved her…   I don’t want to be lonely no more I don’t want to have to pay for this I don’t want another lover at my door It’s just another heartache on my list   Pharaoh Atemu        I held her close to me as she slept soundly in my embrace.  She looked so beautiful, so peaceful just lying in my arms…and it felt right.  This felt more right than anything I had experienced before, anything I had ever done before.  This was what love felt like…to want her more than anything and to love her more than anything else in the world.  This was the woman I had fallen in love with and every essence of my being wished to be with her…I loved her.       “My love, you will want for naught, I will love you forever and eternity shall not separate us,” I whispered even though she couldn’t hear me, “I want to know…I want to know everything about you Miss Katiana…my princess…”  She slept soundly in my arms and I held her close to me, hugging her tightly against my body, I wanted to protect her, I wanted to be with her.  She was everything to me…   I don’t want to be angry no more You’re the one who could never stand for this   Madera        I peeked in the doorway to see the Pharaoh cradling Katiana against him.  Good, he’ll need her in the days to come.  High Priest Seto told me that she helped him defeat his darker half…but it wasn’t the end.  His darker half knew how to handle the shadow powers and always took the fights when the Pharaoh was overworked and tired.  I would hate to admit it and so would he but his darker half helped him control the shadows…  From all I’ve heard he’ll need to hold onto Katiana and love her so she’ll help him…help him retain his sanity.    So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure I don’t wanna be lonely anymore   Pharaoh Atemu        I was so happy…joy kept overtaking me and the smile could not fade from my face.  It was merely the fact that she was here that kept me smiling wider.  I wasn’t lonely anymore…I had someone now…I had someone…   FLASH        The boy pharaoh…that was what they called me.  A child when I came into power, soon, very soon after my father had died.  I didn’t know how to rule; even after watching my father do what he did time and time again I didn’t know what to do at first.  I learned quickly though with guidance from all my advisors and soon was able to handle everything by myself and instruct everyone around as I saw fit.  I swore however, to never be like my father, he had been…not really cruel but perhaps ignorant as to what was going on around him.  It was then however, when I made that promise that I became fully aware of the shadow games and my part in them.  It was on that very night my shadowed self had erupted into life, taking over my body and winning the fight, only to disappear by morning into nothingness and I hadn’t even realized what had happened.  This went on for some time until I realized what was going on…little by little servants who I had been on good terms with suddenly feared me…all women shrank away when I approached.  I realized something was wrong…but there was nothing I could do…I couldn’t fight against it.      High Priestess Ishitzu came up with a possible solution for me, I was to only battle at night and a curfew began…all servants and especially women had to be out of the palace or locked in their rooms by nightfall, not to come out till early the next morning.  It worked and so the pace was set, whenever night fell the palace would seem like a tomb.  It worked well, very well and I felt like everything would be okay from then on.  I never expected to fall in love…I never expected that Miss Katiana would change everything.  I never wanted to have to fight to protect her…I never thought it would get out of hand…  I had to fight him to protect her…because I had fallen in love.  I thought I could control him and he almost killed me and raped her!  I never expected to fall in love, I never expected to loose control…   FLASH        But Ra, I’m glad I did fall in love…I’m glad he’s gone now, I’m glad I defeated him.  I didn’t expect to fall in love and at first I didn’t even want to fall in love but now…I wanted her…I wanted to be with her…      “Uhhh…” Miss Katiana murmured from her sleep, shifting in my arms.      “Shhh…” I whispered, stroking her hair as I held her, “It will be alright, everything is okay now my love…my princess…”  She settled down once again and I smiled.  Life…it felt like it was perfect now…  I found myself yawning and I settled myself down, realizing I was very tired.  I couldn’t get past the fact still that she loved me, but I was glad she did.  I would wake up tomorrow morning and she would be in my arms… perfection.   …   Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh What if I was good to you? What if you were good to me?        I opened my eyes the next morning and found I still held her sleeping form in my arms.  She looked so small in my arms even though I knew she was just slightly smaller than I was…and I was short to begin with.  I nestled my cheek into her hair and smiled, inhaling the scent of her.  She was so intoxicating, so pure.       “My love,” I whispered in her ear, wondering if that would gently wake her.      “Uh…” she murmured, and shifted in my embrace.  I lifted my head and watched her as she awoke, noting every detail as she did so.  Her eyes opened ever so slowly, her hands moved unconsciously over him as she stretched herself out…and then she slowly began to realize I held onto her still.  I watched a faint smile and blush move across her face and she yawned and quickly covered her mouth, perhaps she thought I would be offended if she yawned when I was around.  I realized myself with a slight blush that we hadn’t even kissed yet…but that could wait for the right time.  I wanted it to be perfect with Miss Katiana and I wouldn’t rush anything.      “Sleep well?” I asked lightly as her eyes met mine, their green depths drawing me towards her and I smiled as her blush deepened.      “My pha…pharaoh,” she said politely.      “You don’t need to call me that,” I said softly, “I heard you call me by my real name and I don’t mind.  So please…call me Atemu…”  She shook her head and buried her face in my chest for a moment before looking up.      “I s…slept well,” she stammered, as if ignoring my previous comment, “I’ve n…never slept in someone’s arms b…before…at l…least not that peacefully…”      “You flatter me,” I said, bring up one of my hands to brush against her cheek lightly and smiled as I watched her eyes close and her head seemed to lean into my touch and I felt a string of pleasure from it.  Her skin was so soft and she was so warm.      “W…Well…” she began and tried to sit up, but I wouldn’t let her, I merely held her against me and noted her blush went to a deeper shade of crimson.      “Thank you Miss Katiana, I don’t know if I said it enough, but I owe you my gratitude a thousand times over,” I replied, “I love you.”      “You’ve s…said that so m…many times now,” she stammered and I smiled at her.      “And I will keep saying it,” I explained, “Until my lips run dry and I need water I will say it…and then I will quench my thirst and say it more…and then…and then even if I cannot speak it I will still think it every waking moment and even in my dreams.”      “Oh…” she said, “But h…how could you?  I’m so…so…”      “Don’t say it Miss Katiana,” I said quickly interrupting her, “You’re lovely, beautiful and I don’t ever want you to think for a moment that you’re ugly.”
     “But I am!” she exclaimed, tears forming in her eyes.  What would it take to convince her she was the most beautiful woman in the world?  She wouldn’t think fancier clothes or jewelry would do it…so what?      “Miss Katiana, you’re not only beautiful on the outside but inside…your heart…your pure heart is also the most beautiful of them all…” I said, wondering if that would do any good.   What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me? What if it was paradise? What if we were symphonies? What if I gave all my live to find some way to stand beside you?

     “My h…heart…inside?” she asked, looking up at me with her tear stained eyes.  I wiped her tears away and brushed against her cheek with my hand again.      “Sometimes beauty isn’t always just on the outside…and though it’s outside for you as well as inside…maybe the only thing that should matter for you is the inside…maybe… maybe then you will see yourself the way I see you,” I said.       “I can’t t…trust what you say,” she said, reverting back to she had said earlier, how she couldn’t trust anyone or even me because of everything she’s been through.  I sighed, I wasn’t back to the beginning but I had begun something and now I had to finish it.  I had to at least get her to see herself as beautiful in some way…or another.      “Then don’t…but truly, don’t you see yourself on the inside as beautiful?” I asked.      “How can I?” she asked.      “How can you see yourself as beautiful?” I asked and she nodded and I frowned.  How could I show her…how could I get her to believe me, that she was beautiful on the inside and on the outside?  I sighed, her innocence made this very difficult.       “Are y…you all right?” she asked and I blinked down at her, she was changing the subject.  Perhaps this made her uncomfortable…she was still recovering from her ordeal.      “I’m fine,” I said, “Even more so because you were in my arms.”      “You’re w…warm,” she murmured, leaning in against me and putting her head on my chest.      “I’m warm?” I asked confused at what she had said.      “Uh-hu,” she replied and nuzzled her head in my chest.  I had the distinct feeling that we had had this conversation before.   I don’t want to be lonely no more I don’t want to have to pay for this I don’t want another lover at my door It’s just another heartache on my list…        “That’s a good thing, right?” I asked as I felt her relax into my arms.  It felt like heaven right now, being able to hold her close to me.      “Isn’t it?” she asked in response and I found her answer amusing.  I began to laugh and she looked up at me.      “I’m sorry, I just found that funny,” I said.   Katiana        I liked his laugh…it was deep and sensual and it really suited him.      “Oh, I’m s…sorry,” I said quickly as my face turned red.      “Why are you apologizing?  There is nothing to be sorry about,” he said.  The pharaoh said he loved me…truly loved me for everything I was.  He called me beautiful…but in my eyes I couldn’t see myself as that.  I had so many scars…and I had been such a fool…  I was here now though; in his arms…comfortable with it…I loved him…      “I’m…I’m…” I started to say as I stared into his eyes, those crimson eyes that drew me in beyond all possibility but he put a finger on my lips.      “Shhh…” he whispered and I buried my face in his chest again.  How could he love me?  I was so ugly now!  And how…why did I love him…  I couldn’t trust him…so how could I love him?  Why after all he’s done to me do I love him?  Is love that unexplainable?  Is love that sudden?       “My h…heart hurt,” I whispered into his chest, a muffled noise at best for him.      “What did you say?” he asked.      “My h…heart hurt,” I stammered, looking up at him again, “When y…you…no… w…when I thought you had… be…betrayed me.”      “I never wanted to hurt you, I never planned for any of this,” he murmured and cupped my cheek in his hand.  I pushed gently into his touch, his hand felt so soft and it was so very warm.  Can I really believe anything…everything he’s saying now after I’ve been hurt so much?  Can I trust him again?  Maybe…in time…he has to earn it.  He has my love…but he needs to earn my trust…  It’s just something…I just don’t…I can’t be hurt like that again… I don’t know how much pain I can take!      “Uh-hu,” I whispered and he pulled me tightly against him in a hug.      “Just don’t leave my side…please don’t leave my side Miss Katiana…” he murmured in my ear as he ran his fingers through my hair.  I loved this man…honestly loved him…   I don’t wanna be angry no more You’re the one who could never stand for this So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure I don’t wanna be lonely anymore…   Pharaoh Atemu        If there was one truth I wanted her to see…it was that I was no longer alone.  Any feelings of loneliness would disappear…now that she was truly with me…and she loved me.    Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh   Unknown (Thief)        She made it through…she’s obviously tougher than she realizes.  I didn’t like the fact she helped him defeat his darker side…of course, there were bonuses to that as well…I suspect some interesting trials ahead for them…most of which I will undoubtedly bring…  I watched the two entwined in each others arms…sickening.  Love has no place in this stupid world…no place at all.  I knew many more ways to make those two suffer… pitting one against the other isn’t the only way to have fun, now is it?   I don’t wanna be lonely anymore I don’t wanna be lonely no more   Madera        I went to the temple, someone had to pray for those two…pray nothing harms them and that they can be in love without troubles…but only the gods knew what lay ahead for them…and I suspected it wasn’t going to be easy, not at all…   I don’t wanna be lonely no more I don’t wanna be lonely anymore   TBC   A/N: Aren’t I just a little cruel?  (And maybe a bit too repetitive?  Sorry about that!)  First, I make you wait what…17 chapters to admit to one another their feelings…think I’m going to make you wait for the first kiss?  Tee hee…Maybe I will, maybe I won’t!  You know the drill, review!  Just don’t flame, marshmallows will be roasted upon all flames!