Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Haima ❯ Chapter 12: Guilty as in... ( Chapter 12 )

Title: Haima
Author: Nekocin
Email: Neko_cin_6@hotmail.com
Genres: Various
Type: AU
Anime: Yu-gi-oh
Warnings: Shounen-ai, Violence. Maybe some OOC. In this chapter little violence, angst/drama, almost indirect NCS, bad description, shifting of Jounouchi Katsuya's name.
Pairings: Seto+Jou... here, none.
Rated: PG-13 -- > R
Disclaimer: Anime in question doesn't belong to me. Never was. Never will.
Author's notes: I'm sorry for not updating sooner. I was so into a new anime, had my eyes on anime songs and was also struggling with chapter 16. *sighs* ^_^ I hope this is an okay chapter... plausible maybe? ^_^ And be glad that this story will end soon around chap 17 or something. So... we'll get to fry that psycho soon. *brands her weapons* 9_9 This story has too many hints that drive me crazy @_@ ARGH!!! Maybe I'll write a side-fic on this pairing where they're properly so... *zips* 9_9...hmm?. What do you all think? Me writing a blatantly Seto/Jou story.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 12: Guilty as in...

The hand slowly loosened its grip and let go. The other hand retreated, shakily, from the hold and the owner sighed in relief.

"How is your back, sir?" the silhouette in the room asked softly as he looked over at the patient.

The inspector hadn't opened his eyes yet and still... it was a wonder how quickly he could regain his senses.
The voice that had asked the question sounded so unfamiliar and yet familiar.
He couldn't really pinpoint to whom the voice it belonged to. Then a shock coursed through his body.

Had he lost his memory?

His eyes flew open immediately.

Katsuya had almost jumped back when the inspector's eyes has opened instantly. It was like a sudden reflex to distance himself from the very odd inspector (or maybe the mysterious inspector was more appropriate?)

Those fiery blue eyes were studying his face in the dark and suddenly...

He felt uncomfortable. The itching feeling in his arms and legs made it clear that he wanted to leave the hospital as soon as possible. The smells in the room were faintly aggravating his senses.

THOSE eyes weren't making it any better.
He felt trapped.

Still, he noted to himself, maybe it's from the guilt. Maybe it's the guilt that prevented him from really running away.
No one had really protected him during his childhood so why now?
What made it impossible or unbelievable was that someone so distant and aloof like the inspector had done it anyways.

Inspector... Katsuya could feel something dangling at the back of his mind.
Inspector... no wonder. The rookie slumped and squished the last flittering hope. Of course, why hadn't he thought about it at first?

The inspector was merely doing his job. What made him think that maybe... just maybe the inspector had taken the bullet because... what the hell is he thinking?

He shook his head to clear his mind.

The guilt was definitely getting the better of him. For the first time the rookie didn't know what to say just to ease his guilt by telling the inspector himself. Somehow the words had stuck at the back of his throat.

And why is he looking at the tiled floor instead of the patient?

The room was getting uncomfortable suddenly. He'd to make an excuse... ANYTHING!!

"Mokuba..." Katsuya murmured absently and quickly turned around.

"Mokuba... he's been worried about you. I'll wake him up and tell him you're awake" The rookie explained quickly.

His brown eyes darted around not daring to look at the vulnerable patient, as he tensed his shoulders. He hoped that excuse sounded okay.
Hearing nothing coming out of the inspector's mouth, he left the room quickly. His last thought was calling himself a coward!

The inspector was left alone in that dark room. He blinked in confusion at first, but quickly regained his focus. Still... he wondered why the rookie had run away from him.
Did he do something wrong? It bothered him a bit why the rookie was acting like a...

... Mokuba. He sighed. Yes, he should think about his brother.

*~*~*~*~*~

Jounouchi was leaning against the door which lead to the Inspector's room. He'd closed his eyes to block out any images that might distract him. His thoughts were jumbled and his chest... his chest felt heavy.

He should face it: the inspector was lying behind that door in that room because of him.

Katsuya sighed and sagged his shoulders. He would make it up to the inspector... someday.

"Kaiba-san, your brother is awake" Jounouchi murmured and shook the sleeping teenager gently. Mokuba had fallen asleep a few minutes after he'd arrived at the hospital. He must've been very worried about his big brother, Katsuya mused and tentatively stroked the younger Kaiba's hair.

Mokuba groaned and his eyes fluttered open.
"How is onii-chan?" he murmured sleepily and tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

The officer smiled faintly. "He's awake. You can go see him"

Cute kid, Katsuya noted and watched as those violet eyes brightened. Even though that kid wasn't really a kid anymore, he reminded himself.

"Thank you for watching over him, officer Jounouchi"
Mokuba stood up from the bench which he'd been occupying and headed into the inspector's room.

Katsuya sighed again and sat down on the bench. The younger Kaiba would be upset once he found out why his brother was at the hospital in the first place!

"It's not your fault. onii-chan" that voice had startled him. His head shot up immediately. Shizuka was standing in front of him, wearing a sad look on her face.

"Shizuka..." He found himself looking at her brown eyes [1]. Even if both of them have the same eyes, it's a fact that Shizuka has the most gorgeous ones. Because hers were innocent.

His sister shook her head and rested her hands on both his shoulders. "It's not your fault, onii-chan" she repeated confidently, more gently than before. "You were unaware of his presence and the target"

His chest ached.

"But I could've prevented anyone from getting hurt..." Jounouchi whispered brokenly and dropped his gaze.
He didn't want his sister to see how guilty his eyes looked.
So broken. So tainted. So... disgusting.
Their shades were getting hauntingly darker and darker by the minute.

"Stop acting like someone who can save the whole world, onii-chan!" Shizuka chided her brother and shook his shoulders a bit desperately. "Don't mope around about petty stuff. I'm sure the inspector was just doing his job"

That last comment made the rookie sulk more. He just didn't know why. Was it because he felt something coming from the inspector? Something superior? And idol? Someone to whom he felt responsible for?

Strange... wasn't agent Yuuki supposed to be responsible for him? Maybe it was just because of himself?

Him and his mirror... or curse.

*~*~* Flashback START~*~*~

That night he'd realized how cruel the world was. The cold night air was biting his as the silence in the alleys filled the tension. While everyone was crawling into their warm, comfortable beds save for those who worked late and the occasional homeless ones. He was running-...

A silhouette jumped down from the greasy wall. His ragged breathing and stumbling footsteps broke the silence. Warm tears rolled down his cheeks. He felt alone.

The wind slammed across his terrified, pale face. Young as he may seem, he was indefinitely mature for his own age-...

"You can't run from us, little Jou" he faintly heard someone call out from behind him.

His breath caught up in his throat as he blindly ran through the shadowed alleys. It was too dark to see.
He felt his face getting drained from its usual warmth.

Why was there no one around?

THEY were still following him, chasing him like a cat and a mouse game. He mustn't stop or else something bad might happen as a result for being alone in this Godforsaken world.

His chest was burning painfully as he blistered his once-soft fingers against the walls of his next obstacle: the wall.
Loud clanging and thudding could be heard from behind him. They were still behind him.

Why were they chasing him? He didn't know. But he felt they might want to do something BAD.

His short legs couldn't take it much more. The young boy knew his body was exhausted but he mustn't give up.

Why was there no one protecting him?

He was just a child-...

THUD.

He'd climbed over another wall. The young boy scrambled back on his feet and continued running.

Mother! Father!, he cried out mentally. He felt alone-... his throat was too dry to even make a legible sound. His vision got blurred momentarily. Everything was dancing in front of him.

"GOTCHA!"

Suddenly a big, strong hand shot out of nowhere and caught the young boy's shoulder. It seemed his pursuers had split up, trapping him in a state where fear and loneliness had only assaulted his senses.

The young Jounouchi let out a startled gasp and stared wide-eyed at his captor. The guy was a stranger. He didn't know the guy's face. His fear grew ten fold.

And his captor was grinning.

More footsteps approached them.
"Did you think we can let you go that easily?"

"Finally!" A new voice huffed nearby. The other pursuer had arrived. "We've finally caught the brat!"

Jounouchi's lips trembled and let out an unwanted whimper. His eyes were wide and getting watery.
He was scared. What did they want to do with him?

"P-please... please let me go..."

Evil chuckles reached his ears. His brown eyes widen even more when he found himself cornered. They were touching him! They were bruising his arms...
Why were they doing this?
His petite body trembled uncontrollably. Why were they after him? Was father part of this?

He started crying.

Please let this be a nightmare. Please let this be a nightmare!

Out of nowhere something cold ran down his spine.
He watched as the older guy's mouth began to move. But he couldn't hear the message which was coming of that guy's mouth.

His mind was elsewhere. He felt paralyzed.
Shizuka!!!!!!!

//Do you want to die?// The cold night wind brushed past him and whispered suddenly in his ear_ or so he thought_. Jounouchi looked startled as his body stopped trembling.

His captors were talking to him... touching him... sneering...

//Do you want to die?//

"NO!!!!!!" Jounouchi cried out. He didn't want to die!
He kicked his captors immediately in the shin.

Death was way too close to getting him. Like any other kid, who didn't understand life's games he was scared of dying. Dying in the unknown. What would Shizuka do without him?

With his short nails he clawed at the other's faces.

"OW! DAMN LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!!" they cursed.

With desperate actions the young boy tried to do as much damage as he could on his captors. The young boy wrestled himself loose and kicked on of his anonymous captors.

"HELP!!!" he cried out childishly... then everything disappeared. Everywhere went black.

And that's how everything had started.

-- X --

A few years later -

14th-year-old Jounouchi growled impatiently at the gang in front of him. That day he was cornered _again by another street gang. They were all the same, looking tough and dirty at the same time. Their intentions: they just wanted Jounouchi in their group.

"Haven't you guys had enough?! I'm not in the mood right now!" Katsuya shouted. His body switched into a defensive mode instinctively. It was like a routine to him. Ever since he'd worked as a news paper delivery boy, he would get confronted by gangs.

Throughout the last to years he'd accomplished his own style of street fighting just to survive the many negative 'creatures' in those bad alleys like alcoholics, drugs gangs, street gangs etcetera. He got into fights often, but always seemed to end them with just a few minor bruises. Either it was his luck or his fighting by experience, he could take them DOWN!
That's why street gangs were all after him, persuading him into becoming a part of their world.

Jounouchi felt disgusted by their stubbornness. Being part of a gang would be like having an every day blood bath in the alleys. A quarrel which could lead to Death.
He didn't wish to die so soon: Shizuka needed him!

The 14th-year-old hadn't planned on staining his hands with human blood.

"Oh, we just love ya to pieces, Jounouchi-kun~" One of them sneered and leaned closer to Katsuya's face.

"Che" Katsuya glared; he unconsciously stepped back and grabbed protectively for the remaining undelivered newspapers in his bag.

"I ask you again, Jounouchi-kun-"

"And I answer it again. No!" Katsuya quickly cut in, annoyance edged his facial features sharply. He had to get to work. It was the only way to earn some money.

He was immediately seized by the arms. Jounouchi grunted in surprise...
A fist was connected to his stomach and the air was punched out of his lungs.
His eyes widened in near breathlessness. It felt as if everything was bursting out of his nose, pressuring his head that nearly blinded him from the sheer loss of oxygen.

He gritted his teeth. "Ugh!" And doubled over.

His stomach felt burned. Somehow he felt something rushing through his throat as if throwing up. A warm, metallic taste reached his mouth from his throat and he coughed. He coughed out the red liquid.

His mind panicked immediately. Not again!!

"You aren't such a tough kid like we've heard about, are you?" one of the gang members taunted.

The helpless teenager glared.
"Let go!" He forced out, breathing heavily through his nose and mouth. Blood oozed out from the corners of his mouth.
And he attacked them fiercely.

Not long afterwards faint cries of pain and grunts echoed through the allies. one of the gang members was thrown against the littered wall.

"Now SCRAM!" an exhausted-looking Jounouchi wheezed out and threateningly motioned them to run before he changed his mind. Faint purple bruises marred his skin, but he paid no heed to his injuries. He was after all the least injured compared to the street gangs with their tattered clothes, swollen faces and bloodied-beaten bodies.

Something silver was expertly whipped out of his pocket and a knife came into view.
He grinned madly at his victims.
Their faces paled immediately and they ran!

Jounouchi was left alone in the allies. He chuckled to himself, amused.

"You're late!" the door to the small office was closed.
The bulky man turned around to frown at the person who'd just came in. The gray strands of hair indicated that he was someone of middle ages. His dull gray eyes pinned the younger figure down at the door. He didn't tolerate late coming [3].

"I'm sorry, Kino-sama. I had some... problems along my way" Jounouchi hesitated as he bowed apologetically, shadowing the black purple bruises on his face.

"Hn. Fine. Here's the money for this week, Jounouchi. Next time, do attend your matters beforehand" Kino said dismissively.

-- X --

Jounouchi skidded happily down the alleys and forgot about that morning's fight.

He'd been saving money through simple labours ever since he'd realized he needed his future if he wanted to see the world in other colors. Especially when he wanted to see his younger sister again. Shizuka... she was his light in this black-colored world. She was his confidence. What may she thought of him if she saw him again?

He grinned to himself and carefully climbed the fire-escape. He should be getting back to work after a few more minutes.
The teenager stopped near a closed window and straightened his clothes; better look a bit neater for the old lady...

"Mrs. Inoue, I'm here to fix your kitchen sink!"

It was like an every day routine. He would deliver newspapers first and then check out the older folks' apartments for something repair. There was almost always something broken in their houses.

Out of all those older friends of his, Mrs. Inoue was the closest friend he'd gotten. [3]. (But not really close enough). She would always pamper him whenever he came, either with extra food or let him sleep over.

Jounouchi had this sneaking suspicion she was trying to hook him up with her granddaughter, who had been staring with her for a year. But never mind the matchmaking, Jounouchi did his work without getting distracted by pretty girls. To him, no one was as pretty as Shizuka... [4]

That same night he'd succeeded in completing most of the smaller jobs. He was just heading through the dark alleys towards home, when someone attacked him.

Someone had kicked him in the ribs and had slammed him against the walls. Jounouchi was quite taken by surprise and didn't have enough time to sense his attacker's next movement. He felt a fist slamming his abused jaw and found himself throwing his head to the side due to the harsh contact. Hissssssss.... that had hurt.
Whoever was beating the crap out of him must be really mad at him.

His attacker hauled him up on his feet roughly and dragged him along.

"What's your problem!?" Katsuya shouted angrily and stumbled along. He tried to pull himself free, but it seemed his attacker was determined to do something to him... And why wasn't the guy saying anything?! He bit the offending hand hard! He earnd a hiss of pain. Good. Let go!

"Drop dead, Jounouchi!"

Aa... so he does speak, Jounouchi rolled his eyes. He figured the guy would say that. Jounouchi swept one leg under the other's feet, hoping that his captor might fall. However, he was unprepared when his captor blocked his attack. Another punch in his face, forcing the air out of his lungs and the pain into his conscious mind.

Katsuya grunted and doubled over for the second time that day.

His small body was hauled from his pained position. He found himself compared to a game's ball. Jounouchi's body had been thrown into an incoming car's line of track. The many bones in his body ached as he tried to recover from the near blindness in his eyes.

His mind whirled as his eyes took in his surroundings. Everything around him was sort of dancing... If they'd wanted to kill him why couldn't they use their knives or guns?
He should move!!!
Fear gripped harshly in his chest. He widened his eyes when he found his body unresponsive to his commanding mind. Car lights started to blind his frightened eyes and the care came closer at full speed...

*~*~* Flashback END ~*~*~ [2]

No one had been there for him in those days. No one.

Maybe only Shizuka had been... but not physically.
Her image had been long embedded in his heart. It reminded him that she's his driving force. He had someone to live for.

Up till now no one had been there for him. He'd survived on his own.
How_ he did not know either.

If the inspector were out of the picture he should have been the one lying on that bed, wearing the hospital gown. He would feel satisfied that he'd taken the hit and thrown the dart at the same time.

...

But why couldn't he see the face?
... was it because ... oh yeah, the guy had been standing indirectly in the sunset, shadowing most of his features. There's just something eerily familiar.

...

Somehow nothing seemed to matter. Everything should be lived for. The inspector was just doing his job. There words echoed through his mind. Katsuya tried to let his mind register that fact down. Because... besides that... no one had really known about his life on the streets; that he was capable of in these sorts of situations.

But it seemed he was still confused about the inspector's actions.

Shizuka peered curiously down at her brother. She noticed his far-of look. Maybe he's thinking this over, she mused inwardly. Oh how much she wanted to know about her brother's thoughts.

How had he survived living alone for so many years? How could he manage the harsh reality? How did he become an officer?
Etcetera.

However, these questions were left unanswered...

*.*.*.*.* End chapter 12*.*.*.*.*

Endnotes:

1: *sweatdrops* I forgot her eye colors. I assume it's brown for now.
2: Do these scenes make sense? It's in the order of how alone he was in certain situations like near physical/sexual assualts, street gangs, enemies. I could've added more, but... *sweatdrops* not enough notepaper. ^-^;; Of course, these are not so extreme like Kaori Yuki's stories, ne?
3: He's just a filler. No big character.
4: It sounds like I'm overdoing their brother-sister relationship. 9_9

I like to thank everyone who'd reviewed the previous chapter @-->---: Shadowy Fluffball, Jenniyah, Misura, Jou-pup, Angel-Belle and Momma Cat. Thank you!! Arigatou!! Danke!! Dank u wel!! Gracías!!
PS: I love Takahashi Hiroki's voice ^o^ He plays Jounouchi Katsuya's Japanese voice.

=^_^=cin