Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Half Full or Half Empty? ❯ Hopelessly Devoted to You ( Chapter 32 )

JG: Yay, I've finally updated! Happy New Year everyone! :D

Rin: XD our RP has been great lately… but we don't talk often enough anymore =[ but! I still work on this story (mainly for you, since you love it sooo much XD) and thus making you happy :D ENJOY! *glomps you so hard you'll be in plaster for a year*

Disclaimer: *crickets chirp*

Warning: Ummm… mild yaoi and cursing, I think

Hopelessly Devoted to You
______________________

"Harder… Gods…Malik…"

I was horrified, shocked, mortified, at what I was seeing. I think Marik was feeling the same but was enjoying the show at the same time. Bakura was lying down, gripping the sheets harshly and groaning loudly as Malik worked up and down his shaft with his mouth. Sweat glistened on both of their worked bodies as Bakura neared closer and closer to his orgasm.

A streak of jealousy suddenly burned through me. How dare Bakura do this? He thinks he can just run around and have sexual affairs with whomever he wants?! First it was me, then Ryou, then Marik, now Malik too? What the hell is going on here?!

"A-ahem…" I decided on clearing my throat to catch their attention.

Malik lifted his head and turned around in shock, saliva dripping down his chin. "Shika…"

"Shika?" Bakura mimicked, sitting up quickly, eyes wide.

"What are you doing?" I asked, rather calmly.

Ryou, who was lying on the side of the bed - almost about to fall off - slowly stirred. "What's going on…?" He asked, rubbing underneath one eye.

Feeling tears threatening to break, I inhaled a large breath and said, "I was just leaving… and you can take your stupid ring and shove it up your ass." I forced my gold python and topaz ring off of my finger and threw it at Bakura, and left the room.

"Shika! Don't be like that! Please!" I heard Bakura call after me.

I crushed my bottom lip almost until it bled and went down into the garden. It was a warm and humid morning, unusual for early winter, but it was pleasant enough to sit outside without being chilled. Large black clouds loomed in the distance, and I figured that they would probably bring rain or even snow later on in the day. Sitting amongst the flowers in the garden, I let my tears fall, mixing with the light rain that had mysteriously began to patter down. It wasn't until I heard quiet footsteps that I looked up.

"Shika… don't be sad," Ryou said as he came and sat beside me.

"Why does he do this, Ryou?" I asked, forcefully wiping the tears off of my cheeks.

Ryou sighed a bit. "You must realise that this is what Bakura is like… He always has been like this."

"But why?" I asked. "What are we doing wrong?"

"It's not that he doesn't love you, Shika." He said. "He's just… insecure, I guess you could say. It goes back from his past…"

"I don't care about his past anymore!" I cried. "God damn it… He should be living the life he's got now, not three thousand years ago…"

Ryou put an arm over my shoulders and guided my head to the crook of his shoulder. "I know how frustrated you might feel… I went through it, too. I've learnt to live with it though…"

I sniffled and nudged into Ryou's neck. "I shouldn't have to learn to live with it. Doesn't he realise how much he hurts me when this happens…?"

Ryou started to rock me gently. "I suggest you have a talk to him about it… If you're eager to know why, then I'm sure he'll tell you."

I tilted my head up to look at him. "Why can't you tell me?"

The pastel-haired boy smiled. "It's not my place to tell you… I would if I could, but he would get angry if I did. I know he would."

"Maybe later on," I said, standing up. "I might go and see Jou for a while or something… and return Rishid's car while I'm at it. The Ishtars can walk home for all I care."

*~***~*

I knocked on the front door of the Ishtar residence and waited. Nobody seemed to be home, which was unusual. Where could Isis possibly be when she was so heavily pregnant? They couldn't have gone out unless they took Malik's bike… or bussed. A spasm of guilt abruptly slapped me in the face. It wasn't exactly my fault, though. Malik and Marik were the ones who took the car, claiming that it was okay with Rishid. I was simply returning it. I shrugged it off and began the short walk to Jou's house, which wasn't too far from Malik's.

Coming to the Jounouchi residence, I rang the doorbell and waited. When the door opened I nearly had another heart attack at who was standing before me. "Kaiba?"

"Shika. Hello."

"Errm…" I mumbled, confused and embarrassed by the fact that he was wearing only a pair of casual jeans with a pair of light-lavender cotton boxers showing underneath. "Is Jou about, by chance?"

Kaiba nodded and opened the door further to let me in. "He's in the shower. Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head quickly, trying to avoid his eyes and sat down on the couch. Jou's Dalmatian puppy - Kaziah, as he named her - ran in wagging her tail. She was just over six months old, but seemed to nearly be full grown. I laughed and petted her as she licked my hands and attempted to have a go at my face.

Kaiba must have gone upstairs and come back down, as he was now wearing a shirt. He must have noticed my uneasiness. "Are you alright?" He asked abruptly, but still in his emotionless voice and unwavering straight face.

I blinked and stopped petting Kaziah for a moment. She whined and nudged my hand with her cold wet nose. "Yeah, why?"

"You look like you've been crying." he replied.

I looked toward the floor, flinching inwardly as I thought of Bakura. "I have…"

"Over what?" he asked in a softer tone, coming to sit beside me.

"Bakura," I almost laughed. "It's nothing, really. I'm just being silly I guess…"

The teenage billionaire frowned in doubt. "What has he done?"

"I… caught him in bed with someone this morning." I muttered, not really wanting to mention who with.

"Oh…" he said quietly. "With Ryou, I presume?"

"Malik," I corrected.

A look of shock appeared on the young CEO's face. "Malik Ishtar? Why him?"

"Long story."

"I'm listening," He said.

"Well… Malik and Marik were out with us last night; they got really drunk, as did Ryou and Bakura, and somehow ended up in my bed. I had the couch for the night and this morning… that's what I found."

Seto sighed and leant on his knees with his elbows. "Are you alright? If there's anything I can do…"

I creased a brow at him. "No-one can help a relationship except for the people in it, Kaiba."

"I know," He said. "I just don't like seeing people that I care about in this state…"

"But you don't care about me… at least you never used to."

"I have for a long time." He defended. "I just didn't want to make it too obvious…"

"Shika? Hey! What are you doing here?"

I looked up to see Jounouchi standing before me with a black towel around his waist, his body still dripping with water. "I just came to see how you were doing… haven't seen you alone for a while." I said, emphasizing what I was trying to say.

Kaiba got the hint and left the room. "I'll be upstairs if you need me, koi." He said, kissing Jou on the side of the head as he went past.

The blond came and sat beside me. "How's everything, Shik'?"

"Been better." I sighed and explained to him what I had told Seto.

"Oh, Shika…" Jou said in a sympathetic voice, embracing me. I leant into the warmth of his naked skin.

"How come Kaiba-kun is here?"

"He stayed the night…" Jou replied. "Wanted a change from his huge mansion. Mokuba is staying at a friend's for like a week or something, and he got lonely, so he's staying here for a few days."

"Oh… I see. He's changed a lot, you know." I said. "In the last few months, I mean. Since school camp, actually."

"I know," Jou said. "I think I've made him realise that there's more to life than money and power… that people matter, too."

I smiled. "You've done a good job… He was nothing but a robot when I first knew him. He's more human, now."

Jou smiled at me. "You helped with that too… You turned to him in your time of need when Ryou was kidnapped. He felt needed, wanted - something he's never had before. That made him realise, I think."

"So that explains it…" I said quietly to myself. "He's been so nice to me lately, and I couldn't work it out. Do you think I really helped?"

Jou nodded. "I think so… he probably wants to thank you, but he has his own little ways of doing that."

I smiled inwardly, thinking back to the conversation I was having with Kaiba before. `If there's anything I can do…' "I know he does."

*~***~*
Normal POV…

"Where's Paul, Mom?" Shika asked as she returned to the house later that afternoon from Jou's place.

Afet looked up at her daughter from the kitchen table. "He's gone."

Shika frowned and sat back down beside her mother. "Gone? Where?"

"He went back to India," Afet replied. "After the tsunami catastrophe, they need as many doctors as they can over there."

"Oh…" Shika said, surprised. "When will he be back?"

The middle-aged Turkish woman shrugged her shoulders slightly. "It could be any time… He said he would call us, though. Oh, and Bakura has been looking for you."

Shika rolled her eyes. "That doesn't surprise me… Where is he?"

"Out looking for you, so I believe." The violet-haired woman replied, and then looked at her daughter. "You look very tired and stressed… Is there something going on that I should know about, hon?"

Shika smiled at her mother's maternal instinct kicking in. When she was going out with Malik, Shika used to talk to her mother about her relationship troubles and worries. "Bakura and I are just going through a rough patch, that's all…"

"He did seem concerned when I saw him this morning…" Afet said. "What happened?"

Shika looked down and fiddled with her hands somewhat. "I don't think he wants me anymore."

Afet looked bewildered. "Oh honey, don't say that! If he didn't want you, why would he be out looking for you? Come and sit, and tell me everything."

Shika sighed and sat next to the woman who had given her life. "He keeps mucking around with other people… and it's starting to make me wonder. I talked with Ryou this morning and he said that I need to ask Bakura more about his past, and that he still loves me… but I'm having my doubts. What if he doesn't love me anymore, Mom?"

"Oh darling," Afet sighed, pulling her daughter close to her. "Of course he does… I see the love between you two, and Ryou too. You seem to be fonder of those two boys even more than you were with Malik-kun."

"I love them so much Mom… more than you can imagine." Shika blubbered, sobbing against her mother's chest. "I don't want to lose Bakura. What am I doing wrong?"

In hearing the emotionality in her daughter's voice, Afet was close to bearing tears too. "Just talk to him, sugar. If he wants to talk, then don't push him away because you're angry with him… you must learn to forgive."

Just then, Bakura came busting into the door, flushed and panting. The first thing he said was, "Shika! Are you here?!"

Shika lifted her head in hearing Bakura's voice from downstairs. She looked at her mother for an answer. "Now what?"

"Go to him, Lotus. He's worried sick over you… Go on, now."

Shika, feeling sick from crying with a splitting headache and puffy eyes, went downstairs to see the tall, slim figure standing in the foyer. She leant on the side of the stairwell and looked at him vacantly. Bakura's expression was initially one of joy, until he registered what he had done to cause the disaster, and he also became straight faced. He walked over to her and cradled her petite frame in his long, muscular arms.

"Thank Ra…" he mumbled into her mass of wine-red hair.

Shika clenched her eyes shut in attempt to keep her tears from falling, but only resulting in violent hiccups. "Why?!" she cried, tearing away from him. "Why do you keep doing this, Bakura?"

Bakura looked down at her trembling structure, tears in his own eyes. "I… I -"

"Ryou told me it's something to do with your past," Shika said. "And if you want this relationship between us to continue then I think I have every right to know, don't you?"

Bakura swallowed the lump that was keenly rising in his throat. "Yes, you do…"

"So then… just tell me." Shika pleaded. "Just tell me Bakura… please… I want to know."

Bakura led Shika down to the sunroom where Harry was contentedly staring into oblivion on his favourite branch as usual. Bakura sat down in the corner of a lovely plushy couch made of wicker with velvet cushions on them. Shika sat at the opposing corner, gazing at him inquiringly, waiting for him to speak. He sighed and began.

"In my day as a thief, before I met Marik, I was totally living it up…" he said. "I had a lot of women to pleasure me when I was young, because I wanted to make the most of my life before I settled down…"

"So in other words you were just a player?" Shika said, unimpressed.

Bakura frowned. "I guess you could say that… But anyway, there was one woman who I fell head over heels for… and she died not long after."

Shika's bottle-green eyes widened. "…she died?"

"Yes," Bakura said. "She got caught in quicksand one afternoon while I was out. There was nothing anybody could have done about it…"

Shika swallowed. "Dear Ra… I'm incredibly sorry. What was her name…?"

"She was the previous life of Ryou's younger sister…" Bakura mumbled. "Ironic as it sounds."

"Amane?" Shika asked. "The woman you loved was Ryou's sister's past life?"

Bakura nodded in reply. "Yes, and once I lost her… I became so insecure that I would never find someone else that I just started to not care anymore. I slept around with what seemed like hundreds of women, and it wasn't until I got very sick with a sexual disease that I realised what I had done…"

Shika made a face and screwed up her nose. "Then what?"

"I went to a healer and he made me better again, thank Ra. It was torture… so painful." Bakura said. "I even went delirious for a short period. But I think that was more associated with the heat and the alcohol than anything else."

Shika deadpanned. "No offence, but you sounded like a complete dropkick…"

Bakura laughed. "I was, very much so, I must admit. I was a complete fool… up until when I met Marik. You already heard about how I met him, right?"

"Yeah," Shika said.

"His innocence gave me a new way of seeing things. I was entranced by his beauty, and knew I was falling for him… which was strange as I never thought of myself as bisexual or anything ever before. I was so scared that I would fuck things up with him too… and that's the way I feel about you, Shika. I'm scared."

Shika stared across at the chocolate orbs that were evidently beginning to water again. "What are you so afraid of?"

"Getting too attached." He replied. "But I already know it's too late for that. It's been too late for a long time… I guess I'm just in denial."

"You're trying to deny that you're in love? Why?"

Bakura wiped the tears out of his eyes. "Because I don't want to lose you the way I lost Amane and Marik. I loved Amane the way I love you, and then she died. I love - and still do love - Marik, the way I love you, and then he died - but came back just as I did. I love Ryou the way I love you, too. Words cannot describe how terrified I was when you went into hospital all those times… I was scared to death."

Shika was astounded before she found her voice. "Cheating on Ryou and I isn't going to make things better… Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid of what you would think, I guess," He replied. "And I tried to convince myself that being with someone else would make me less attached to you… but it didn't work. I'm so sorry - this probably isn't the most comforting thing, me telling you this."

"Well at least I know what's been bothering you now…" Shika said with a sigh. "I just need to know… do you want to stay committed, or are you just going to use me?"

Bakura gave her an almost offended look. "I would never use you, Shika! I love you with all my life… and I know I've made some terrible mistakes. If you can forgive me… I promise I will change. For the better."

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore though, Bakura…" Shika said uneasily.

"I would put my life on the line for you, Lotus." Bakura said, his voice becoming chillingly solemn. "Please… give me another chance. Forgive me…"

I hope I'm not making a mistake… Shika thought. If I forgive him… will I just become a doormat all over again? "I'm going to give you one more chance to prove your worthiness to me Bakura… But if it happens again, I'll have to let you go."

Bakura smiled, but treading on eggshells, he also asked, "What about Marik…?"

"Marik is an exception," Shika said. "Because you still love each other, and I know I can't change that… But if I catch you with Malik or anyone else other than Ryou, Marik or myself, you're gone."

Bakura nodded in understanding, and clinched Shika into a bone-crunching embrace. "Thank you…" He pulled back and looked at Shika who still seemed upset, but relieved at the same time. Putting his hands on either side of her face and his forehead against hers, he said, "I love you."

"I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I do you," she said in a wobbly, high-pitched tone.

"Do you love me more than you love Ryou?"

Shika looked startled. "I love you both equally…"

"Then that's all I need…" Bakura said, gently closing his lips over hers, exploring her mouth with utmost tenderness.

Ryou, Shika and Bakura all went to bed at around eleven that night, dropping into sleep quickly. However Shika's slumber was becoming more and more troubled by disturbing dreams…

*D*R*E*A*M*

"Mai! Hey, Mai wait up!" Shika yelled as she saw the familiar tall woman in the distance. It seemed she hadn't heard her shouting. "Mai!"

Shika ran through the streets, struggling to get through the overflowing crowds of people. She knew the girl in the distance was Mai without a doubt - her long, variant shades of blonde hair sailing in curling ribbons down her back and the unmistakable clothing - it had to be her. The way she swayed her hips as she walked and flicked her hair over her shoulder were two of her many traits. Long slender legs encased in purple leather boots walked swiftly along the pavement, and Shika was struggling to keep up.

"Mai! Can't you hear me?"

The tall blonde girl finally turned around in hearing her name being called. "Shika? What are you doing here?" she asked in her oh-so-suave manner.

"I've been following you for ages!" Shika panted. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Shika… you aren't supposed to be here… this place is…" she trailed off. "You just can't be here. It's not time to be here yet, Shika…"

Shika looked at her, baffled. "Why?" she asked, looking around at the familiar buildings around her. "It's just boring old Domino! How bad can it be? I've missed you so much, Mai!"

"We are far from Domino now, Shika… I gotta go, hon. Take care…" her voice echoed in Shika's ears as she disappeared from sight.

"Wait! Mai! Where are you going? Why can't I come too?!"

A bright light caught Shika's attention and as she whirled around, her initial reaction was to stare in awe-struck wonder…

*E*N*D* *D*R*E*A*M*

Shika was quiet for the whole morning, wondering about her strange dream. She figured maybe if she went to visit Mai's grave that she might understand a little better. Since Paul had left to go to India, Afet gave her permission to borrow his Range Rover to take down to the cemetery. Ryou and Bakura were still asleep, or so she thought, therefore she decided to go alone.

"I think I know what your dream was about,"

Shika spun around as she was walking up the small grassy rise covered with snow-laden trees. "Bakura? What are you…? How did you…?"

"I followed you here… and I can drift into your dreams sometimes like I do with Ryou." He said, walking toward her.

Shika gave him a cock-eyed look. "Okay… so what did you think it meant, then?"

The pair started to walk. "I think you may have had a visit to the heavens in that dream," Bakura said. "Did she not say something about how it wasn't your time to be there?"

"That could be true…" Shika said quietly. "I've been there before though… except I was on a beach. In my dream it was still in Domino…" she sighed, frustrated. "I don't know what this means… I really don't."

"It will all make sense in time…" Bakura reassured her.

The small, slim-framed girl accompanied by the tall white-haired spirit made their way up the rise toward Mai's grave. The tombstone was covered with snow, so Shika bent down to brush it off. The photo of the beautiful young woman was still as vivid as ever, showing off her pretty violet eyes in contrast with her shiny gold hair. Shika sighed and laid the roses on the ground by the tombstone.

"If only things could have been different…" Shika whispered, turning to Bakura's chest for comfort. "I had such a connection with her… and my father took that away."

"Sshh…" Bakura cooed, stroking the silky strands of amethyst hair lying against his chest. "Nobody said life would be easy… And if anything, this had made you into such a strong person; you just don't realise it."

"Then why do I feel so weak, Bakura?" she questioned. "All my life I've been a total pushover - a doormat. People have walked all over me… and I can't help it. You think this has made me stronger?"

Bakura sighed and pulled Shika's ring from his pocket. "I know what you're going through right now is hard… But at least put your ring back on so I know you still love me." He added with a chuckle.

Shika sniffled and let him slide the ring back over her finger. "I'm sorry… I love you."

"I know you do," Bakura replied. "Now let's go home, eh? You'll get a chill being out in the snow for this long."

Shika sighed and agreed, silently saying her prayers for Mai Kujaku before leaving. The pair made their way back to the truck, leaving only their footprints behind.

*~***~*

JG-chan: Hmm… well, not much to say here XD but there is a little note I'd like to say to all of you: This fic WILL be coming to an end soon, and I will be starting the sequel… whenever it's finished XD but I also need some advice… how should I end this? Send in your ideas, it would be very much appreciated =^-^=

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Next chapter: We find out about Shika's dreams and Kaiba has something to tell

Updates: No idea as of yet o.O probably after I've updated my other fics ^_^