Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ I Guess It was in the Cards ❯ Nightmares Revisited ( Chapter 10 )

Please read and review. It's incredibly encouraging to hear how you feel about the story and the characters, where it's going and what can be improved. I tend to rewrite obsessively, and this really encourages me to just save and post.

they are also meant to be read as a pair.

CHAPTER 10: NIGHTMARES REVISITED

YAMI'S NARRATIVE

As the doctor had promised, Kaiba's ribs healed quickly. The only change in our lives, however, was that Kaiba now picked up his little brother after school, a task I gladly relinquished, and carried him to bed each night, proudly bearing his precious burden. I stayed, although the question of my continued presence remained unasked and unanswered. Once I would have thought he was taking me for granted, or playing some elaborate game. Jounouchi would have screamed he that he was using me. But the truth was much simpler: Kaiba had never been able to ask me for anything - except his death.

And it was life now that was troubling him. I did not underestimate what I had done. It was as big an upheaval as when I had shattered his soul. Yet he refused to retreat to the isolation that was his refuge. Kaiba's one weakness as a duelist was his strength now. At Duelist's Kingdom, if he had just put his wounded dragon in defense mode, the match would have been a draw. Of course I didn't know at the time that he couldn't afford a tie if he was to rescue Mokuba, but I knew he him well enough to know he would attack. I had counted on it then, and I counted on it now. And Kaiba didn't disappoint me. He refused to give in to his fears and doubts. He was facing his demons as if they were opponents on the field. And he was doing it all for the sake of a future that he could scarcely imagine or believe in; struggling to break free of the defenses he had spent a lifetime creating. He would flinch each time I kissed him, no matter how gently, before willing himself to relax into the embrace, as if intimacy was a challenge he had set himself to master, and trust an act of defiance.

But the struggle was exhausting him. He scarcely spoke, even to Mokuba, and slept less. For if Kaiba would not retreat, neither would he defend. Neither Yugi or I ever sent our Black Magician, our soul card, into the arena, unprotected. But Kaiba would fling his dragons onto the field and leave them to their fate. The bond between them was strong, the pain he felt at their destruction real, but it was a rare match, even among his many victories, where he did not lose one or more of his mighty beasts.

"I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere." I would tell him each night. He would stare at me wordlessly, warily, as if wondering what betrayal I had planned for him. I would lift him in my arms, his own wrapped around my neck, his head bent to meet mine, and kiss him as his long legs slid to the floor again, as if for balance. I caressed him gently, coaxingly, as one would an untamed creature who might suddenly turn and bite. Sometimes it seemed that only my touch could spur him to break through the barrier he had built around himself. He would cling to me, drink in my kisses thirstily, like a man on an ocean raft who is offered a glass of sweet water.

One night as I rested my cheek against the cool silk of his shirt, I heard him whisper, "Take it off,"

I was prepared for scars, but it was the clinical precision of the wounds that startled me. It was as if some fiend had experimented in all the different ways of causing pain, and left a record in the flesh of Kaiba's back. I remembered the monster from Noa's world who had pursued him from the Gates of Hell, and realized he had not been a metaphor. I wondered that a man as rich and as proud as Kaiba would not remove these grim reminders, and marveled that among the many wounds, none seemed self-inflicted. Mokuba's promise had been more potent than I could have imagined.

"Mokuba?" I asked, suddenly afraid of the answer. But Kaiba shook his head. "No, never. Gozaburo always kept his promises." Kaiba would have rejected anything else I said as pity, though in truth I felt none. Only a respect for the profound strength that he did not recognize; that he hid behind the arrogant facade he showed the world.

So instead of speaking, I held him close, shielding his back with my body, cradling his scarred arm with my own. He sighed. I asked no more questions, would press him no further. It had taken all of his undeniable endurance to have come this far. Instead I held him as I waited for his nightmare. Although he had not said another word, I knew he was braced for the same thing. He had put his sweat pants on, as if he knew no power would keep Mokuba from his room tonight.

RESPONSE TO REVIEWS FOR THE LAST POSTING: Since the reviews raised some issues, I'm trying to group the responses.

Tuulikki - AGE: You're right - I can't add. Kaiba was 16 in the manga. I see him as being 17 in this story, partly because I think one of the things that make him so poignant is his youth. He has all these responsibilities, has this tortured past, is a very flawed genius - and he's a teenager. He shouldn't have these burdens - except he does, and deals with them the best he can. MOVIE NOTE: Thank you - I agree - Kaiba is impossible!

Red Dragon 4, Spirit Star, Tammi 1, Unsolvable Riddle - STORY STRUCTURE: Thanks. I didn't want this to be a story where sex (or even falling in love) solves everything. Seto is clearly happy with the turn of events, but he's also not used to being happy, or letting other people into his life. That's why I tried to tell it, first from Yami's more romantic POV, and then give Seto's more confused and cynical take on things.

Silver Mist - DIALOG: Great suggestion. This chapter is pretty narrative intensive, but I'm re-writing some of the later ones to add more dialog. I think it will make them stronger.

Solitaire and Xpyne - SETO'S PERSONALITY: One of the many things I like about Seto is the interplay between his strong and fragile sides - yet both are real.

Sailor Pride and Yami-Chan - Thanks. Sometimes I worry that the story doesn't seem like it's going there, because I move pretty slowly.

Animebay-b - UKE: I'm not dodging your question (Was Seto the uke?), but I'm not answering it right now either. In the next section I plan to first look at how Seto's (and to a lesser extent, Yami's) past impacts on their relationship, then I will explore the nature of the relationship itself, and how it develops. Before I answer your question, I would like to give the story a chance to speak for itself. So rather than tell you if Seto is the uke (or even if there is an uke) I really want to hear what you thinks their relationship is about, and if you think it's real.

Angelic Slayer, Blue September, Cherrii, LilPurplFlwr - Thanks for your encouragement. I love these characters, and I can't tell you how much it means that my story has connected with you, and that you're looking forward to each chapter.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the long response - especially as it's a short chapter. I posted Chapters 10 and 11 together (12 is really, really short), because