Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Irksome Nature ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

DISCLAIMER: Same as previous.

Author's Notes: After suffering through the week-that-shall-be-forgotten, I have made it back alive. Thank you very much for the feedback. I really like hearing all your thoughts and opinions about this lil ole story of mines and it's been keeping trudging along, writing and reading, and reading and writing (yes, my life is controlled by my hobbies). It's been noted that Kaiba has softened quite a bit here. I hope it's not to the point where he's out of character but well within the realm of a possible deepening of his relationship Yami, and to an extent, Yugi (but in a friend kind of way).

Goddesskali, I hope you didn't hurt too many people [grins]. Glad you and Ally are enjoying Mokuba in all his scheming glory. This chapter doesn't have as much of him as the last though -- I'll make sure it's rectified next chapter. Mistress Ethereal, I hope this chapter clears up the dream confusion. Thank you for the detailed comments; it's good to know that the humour and characterisations are better than I'd thought, and that my writing varies in a good way [grins]. halowing4, I hope I don't disappoint with this Seth and Atem scene. Sweetbriar, Kaiba can be so self-sacrificing. He doesn't look it, but he is. And that is why I absolutely adore him. Blue September, I don't really know what to say...(too busy blushing and being amused that I can write so well I guess). I am very, very flattered that you can reread previous chapters and still find it entertaining, and I really like reading your detailed comments, so review as you see fit. I hope too, that I can keep this WIP going and not run into the dreaded Writer's Block. Shouldn't do though, with enthusiastic readers like you guys [smiles].

As always, a big thank you to Moe for beta-ing. Her comments crack me up and inspire me, and she is great with helping me with my titles (as well as addicting me to many mangas, but that's another story).

Yikes. So much rambling. Yell if my Author's Notes end up being way too long, and I'll try to keep it shorter.

Chapter 5

I must be living in a skewed but perfect dream world.

There wasn't any other explanation for this reality. None at all, because I've racked my mind trying to come up with a reasonable, understandable theory as to why I wasn't rebelling against this -- this atrocity, and had met with little success.

At first, I haven't really thought about it much. There wasn't anything to think about. Yugi and Yami were living with us because of their relatively good-natured spirits and their loyalty to the bindings of friendship, and in some small way I was pleased to have supernaturally sharp eyes watching over Mokuba. Humans had their failings -- including me -- but there was a whole world of difference in between. I had faith that I would overcome whatever flaws besieged me. I didn't have an ounce of faith for anyone else, except possibly Yami.

And this was the crux of it.

By saving my little brother, and by close proximity, Yami had lowered down most of my defences, ensuing that I would come to trust and expect his presence as time went on. This was unforgivable. Not only because I hated relying on someone other than myself, but also because I was beginning to incorporate him and Yugi into my household of two. It was absolutely unforgivable.

Mokuba and I had lived together for a long, long time, and had gotten used to our own routines and patterns. And I liked it. I liked our compact household of two - with perhaps a couple of maids and cleaners at infrequent times -- and the closeness that came from being the sole occupants of an overly large mansion. One of my better memories were of us doing our own thing in silence, and yet comforting each other at the same time through tiny, normal gestures. Mokuba would turn the thermostat higher if it was a particularly cold night and I was still typing away stoically on my laptop, and I would lay my jacket over Mokuba's prone form whenever he fell asleep waiting for me to finish. It was nothing, but everything at once, and it was these times that made me believe life was worth living and fighting for.

What really unnerved me though, was how fast Yugi and Yami had entrenched and steeped their presences into our lives. How fast I had come to expect Yugi's domestically challenged forays into the land of exotic meals from the cookbook he had purchased -- and waved enthusiastically at me -- a couple of days ago. How fast I had come to expect and anticipate chess games and duels that had nothing to do with life or death. Just two, old rivals too set in their ways, and having a mean old time trying to outdo the other. And when Yami wasn't looking smugly over to me at his win, he was trying obsessively to learn 'our ways', as he so put it while I tried valiantly not to be amused. It had become a difficult habit as of late, and I found to my annoyance that I haven't scowled in nearly a week.

I was being slowly worn down, and I couldn't even muster enough resentment for it. It was at this point that I decided denial was the way to go. Yes, Yami and Yugi may have just become -- and oh how I detested this word thanks to a certain someone who simply would not stop talking -- my friends, but that didn't mean I was readily going to start harping on the values of friendship and blah, blah, blah. If that ever happened, I was going to ask Yami to shoot me. Or at least throw his Dark Magician at me.

However -- and sometimes I wonder at the state of my mind when I think about this -- I didn't mind being worn down. Not really, because if I did, wouldn't I put a halt to all this madness? I wasn't the helpless type, and if I really wanted to, I could insist on kicking Yami and Yugi out and facing Mokuba's downtrodden face afterwards. If I really wanted to. And this was basically what it came down to: me not wanting them to leave. I would die a thousand deaths before admitting this aloud and to anyone else, but I enjoyed Yugi's exotically flavoured concoctions even if I had never seen beef cooked in such a way or seen pastries shaped quite like a...what ever Yugi had been hoping for. I still haven't puzzled out what that shape was, and this led to a certain image of innocent-eyed Yugi in front of a large cauldron, cheerfully humming tunelessly as he stirred away at his strange, new concoction -- and a little pepper here, and a little herb there, and maybe I should put in a cow's eye. I shivered, blamed it on the coldness of the room, and quickly made a mental note to never, ever picture that again. I even enjoyed watching Yami struggle with his numbers and then showing his success in a frenzy of triumphant fist pumping and undignified crowing. He stopped though, when he noticed my widened blue eyes and the large smirk I must have been sending his way, and diligently straightened out his blue jacket and neck collar. He coughed lightly and avoided my eyes while he tried to regain his lost dignity, futile as it was. That was when I started laughing. Again.

"Nice one, King of Games," I told him, smirking madly and trying to smother unending chuckles.

He glared and huffed dryly, "Thanks Kaiba. I really needed you to see that."

"Not my fault. Your gloating could drive down the walls. I just had to see what the racket was."

He huffed again, and lightly dusted nonexistent lint from his shoulder, still glaring but it didn't have as much heat and anger as it once did. He just looked mildly embarrassed and half indignant, and I was having the time of my life. This was a pleasant payback to what I deemed as Yami's Big Plan to see if I was really ticklish on my left side. What was Yami thinking? I scoffed. Trying to tickle me as if we were immature children. I would have scowled if watching Yami scheme ineptly haven't amused me as much as it did. And it certainly did. Yami might have been considered a dark soul and an old god, but he was not an adept in manipulation and espionage. Just watching him try to catch me unawares was comedy gold. Although, Yami crowing and bouncing up and down certainly came close.

"I don't suppose we can pretend this never happened?" Yami inquired pleasantly, the epitome of regal royalty.

"No way in hell," I said just as pleasantly and smirked.

He sighed out, "I guess I was hoping too much," and then shook his head. "You're going to keep reminding me, aren't you?"

"Yes." I grinned manically, with a dash of evil, and he dropped his head into his hands, muttering what I assumed to be curses and insults. I felt almost sorry for him. Almost, but not quite enough to end his torment.

I shook my head, utterly bemused by my own unpredictable tendencies. I wasn't too overwrought by my thoughts either, because this was the dead of night, and I was by myself. No one was to know and no one could. Calming and soothing, the darkness acted as a barrier between reality and me. When I lay in bed, with no self-imposed will to direct and constrain my drifting thoughts, I could do what I liked. I could think absolute crap and get away with it because in the morning, it never happened and I was the exact image of what Seto Kaiba should be. What Seto Kaiba needed to be in order to exist.

It had been a while since I had nightmares, eons since Mokuba had seen me in the throes of one, and I wondered absentmindedly if this was because of Yami too. Just like that time at school when unfamiliar emotions had rushed into me, startling and so unmistakable it nearly drove me to my knees. They were that strong. But Yami had said he was not its cause. And I didn't think Yami would lie.

Now instead of nightmares I kept having dreams that were forgotten as soon as I woke. I didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed because I suspected they were quite pleasant, and it would seem my subconscious didn't mind.

I sighed and stretched my limbs, lightly rubbing against silky sheets. Hedonist to the heart, even though I probably didn't look it and wouldn't dream of admitting it but it was true nonetheless. Why else would I surround myself with expensive luxuries I could have easily gone without?

And I should really stop thinking crap before my mind turned to drivel or worse.

Usually I would close my eyes in exhaustion and fall into a deep, joyless sleep, though recently it was more of a peaceful dream-filled slumber; not end up thinking the night away with useless thoughts.

I sighed and decided to get out of bed for the time being. My mind was really rotting away, I thought sourly. It was no doubt Yami's fault. Everything was his fault.

Shrugging into a soft robe, which was cold to touch despite its appearance of being something that should be worn adrift on snowy mountains, I walked out of my room and down the stairs. It was astoundingly hard to navigate despite my knowledge of every nook and corner of the mansion, so I took extreme care. I certainly didn't want to finish off Hirato's job for him and having Mokuba see his big brother die of something so trivial as falling down the stairs would be humiliating.

My hand fumbled occasionally and I had to carefully balance myself, but I made it down alive and in one, unbroken piece. What a relief. I had more success as I waived aimlessly through the dark, not quite sure of where to go but purposely pretending that I did.

I stopped short in the thinning darkness and wondered who would be up this late at night. Mokuba knew better than that and I didn't think Yugi was a night person from the way he acted in the mornings. Three guesses as to who it was, and I didn't need the other two.

"Kaiba?" An uncertain voice broke through the still silence and shattered my indecisive standoff. I wondered if he would notice if I sneaked back up to my room.

"Kaiba, I know you're here."

There went that particular plan.

"How did you know it was me?" I questioned with a smidgeon of annoyance as I slipped out of the shadows and joined Yami in his nighttime infomercial watching.

"My powers are unlimited," he said smugly as he settled back against the couch.

"Sure. I'll believe it when I see it."

"Yes they are. I happen to be very powerful, you know. An ageless Pharaoh and all that -- you forget so easily." A touch of reproach could be heard and I snorted.

"Sure," I replied, making sure I had the right amount of haughty disbelief that just told Yami I wasn't taking in anything he said. Or gave the illusion thereof. Even if I was in deep denial, there were just some things I couldn't ignore.

"You just have to have the last word don't you, Kaiba?" He turned to me with narrowed eyes and supposed anger that really wasn't there. I easily saw through his mask and intercepted that flash of delight just before he made himself comfortable for our late night bickering. And what enjoyable bickering it would be. Picking fights with Yami was never boring, highly stimulating and took the edge off my tension; something Yami probably noticed but never mentioned much to my relief.

"Want some blankets?" he asked helpfully as I sat down next to him on the couch. "Your robe doesn't look warm enough."

I waved him off and smirked. "I don't feel the cold."

He just sighed and shook his head, but I saw his sly sideward glance. "Sure you don't. That's why you happen to walk around fully clothed," he said in perfect mimicry. Then his mouth quirked. "But I bet a lot of people wouldn't mind you naked."

I glared and he chuckled, and this went on and on until he either became wary of the death-like vibes I was sending his way or he got tired of moving his mouth to laugh. It had to be the death-like vibes. My death-like vibes was not something to be underestimated.

"So, why are you up so late?" I asked after a comforting silence had reigned for a few minutes.

He shrugged but kept his face turned towards some movie he had ended up clicking on. "Haven't been sleeping well lately," was the only answer I received. My body stiffened slightly before I forcibly relaxed my muscles.

"Bad dreams?" I enquired evenly, keeping my tone sardonic but leaving out the terseness and interest that had quickly sprung upon his words. When he didn't answer, I snuck a glance at him and noted his cryptic smile.

"Could be," he said after a while. After I had come up with several conclusions all leading to one common thread.

I said nothing. There was nothing to say. He had effectively shut me up with those two words, and now my mind was racing and fuelling itself with a sudden burst of energy that had appeared out of nowhere.

The dreams. Could it? It couldn't be -- and yet -- it was too coincidental. I didn't believe in coincidences, nor did I believe in fate but this -- this was too much to wrap around. I could be wrong though. For most likely the first time in my life, I wished I was wrong in my assumptions because if I was right...if I was right...

I closed my mind off. I didn't need to think about this right now. I just didn't. Nor did I want to wonder about my -- and his -- dreams.

My fists clenched; the only outward sign of my inner turmoil.

Save it for tomorrow, I told myself as I tried to will the nervous tension away. In the bright glare of day, everything will be sane again and I could kick this foolish nonsense right out of my head.

I took a deep breath, hoping I could find some kind of distraction.

And it came, but in the most unusual form of idle conversation. Who knew I would be the one to instigate it?

"I haven't congratulated you yet," I told him bluntly and probably with a strained tone.

"Oh?" he asked curiously.

"Yes. It would seem you have successfully bridged gap between your old world and this one."

He frowned in puzzlement before he finally understood my words and snorted. "Why, thank you, Kaiba. I never knew you cared."

"I don't," I said, comfortably irritated and distracted.

"Of course not. I can easily tell by your friendly attitude and that non-scowl on your face."

I rolled my eyes and made some odd, aggravated noise. He heard me well enough and laughed under his breath. After a while he managed to lose his chuckles and I managed to release enough of my tension for us to watch one very illogical horror movie in relative peace. I think I derisively asked him about the thick-headedness of one screaming teen, and heard the beginnings of his mumbled reply, before I fell adrift, and into a gentle bed of dreams.

-=-=-=-=-

"Seth..."

"Seth..."

"Seth!"

I stared up at the blurry, spiky-haired thing that was currently shaking me incessantly and calling my name. What was going on? And not only that, but how in the name of Ra did he get away with sneaking from his own heavily guarded chambers to mine?

My head quickly lost the last visages of sleep and I became more alert at Atem's non-blurred, apprehensive expression that could easily be read, even in the dark of night. Something must have gone wrong, I thought with a deep dread. Did we need to escape through the hidden tunnels? Was there some traitor who had managed to enter the palace?

"Atem?" I whispered questioningly. "What are you doing here?"

In reponse, Atem hurled himself at me and soft arms wrapped around my waist in a tight, constricting hold. I grew worried. Trying to overcome the awkwardness I felt, and not quite succeeding, I somehow managed to lightly pat Atem on the back reassuringly. Or at least I hoped it was reassuringly because Atem needed it, and I was never the most affectionate child.

"Atem?" I spoke gently, willing for answers but also worrying about our escape. "What's wrong?"

I frowned slightly when I heard his muffled sniffles, and held him tighter.

"Come on," I coaxed. "Tell me."

"I had a nightmare," he said, sniffling even more, and I sighed in part relief and part exasperation. Here I was, mentally preparing for warfare, and it was nothing more than a child's bad dreams.

"A really bad one," he continued while burrowing deeper against my chest. He rubbed his cheek lightly and then said softly, "You were there too. But you weren't nice."

My annoyance vanished as if it had never been there at all, and an entirely new emotion took its place. I could feel the twisting ache, a blade-sharp motion that wouldn't still no matter how hard I tried, inside my chest as his words echoed in my mind. He needed me.

"How wasn't I nice?" I had to ask, but was a little wary of the answer.

"Can't remember," he muttered and curled himself on top of me, pushing my body back down onto the bed. "You just weren't. And I didn't like you then. I don't want to not like you."

It was hard not to soften at that, and it wasn't as if I was made of stone. I sighed, and rubbed his back gently as he snuggled against me, hoping he didn't sense the twinge of apprehension that wouldn't fade away completely.

"I promise I won't ever be mean to you," I whispered into spiky-soft hair, and felt the beaming smile Atem had unleashed.

"You don't have to promise. You'll never be mean." He added, "But promising just makes you nicer."

I snorted in reply, and closed my eyes.

"Seth," he said sleepily. "Can I stay here with you from now on?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please...."

"No."

"Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?"

I sighed in defeat, knowing he would never let me rest otherwise. "Yes. Now stop talking."

"That's good that you said yes. 'Cause I'd have to tell Father and you'd have to stay..." He yawned, "with me then."

By the time he finished his sentence, Atem had already fallen asleep. I cuddled closer even though he didn't need my comfort anymore.

"You brat," I whispered and then laughed under my breath.

-=-=-=-=-

My eyes opened at once, and I hastily sat straight up as my heart started to pump blood much faster than it should. I lifted my hand ran it through my hair as I drew myself deep in thought, and deep into denial.

All those nights when I had fallen into a deep slumber only to awaken in the morning with a sense of forgotten memories and nothing else -- those soothing, serene nights -- they were now a thing of the past. I didn't want it to be true. I wanted nothing to be true because this was simply impossible. Dreaming and not remembering, and living in an oblivious day to day existence was normal, even to someone as abnormal as I was, but to dream such vivid scenes and of Yami and myself as children in some past, unfamilar but familiar, era nonetheless, and to remember it so keenly --

I didn't want it.

Why did I have to remember?

It couldn't be true.

I took a deep, shaky breath and tugged at my hair in frustration before I realised I wasn't in my room. Blinking away the aching tiredness, I warily noted my surroundings and found to my surprise that I was in the living room and on the couch. I glanced down and thoughtfully pulled away the blanket that had somehow wrapped itself around my waist, even as my attention turned towards the slumbering lump next to me. Spikes of red hair poked out from the blankets that lay curled around both of us as Yami continued on sleeping and releasing occasion muffled mumblings. I had to smile at the thought of Yami being such a noisy sleeper, but it soon wilted away as newer conclusions were met, and I suspected Yami was simply dreaming out loud.

Frowning and sighing, I quickly got up, making sure I didn't interrupt Yami, and walked to my room for a shower and a change of clothing.

When I had finished, I was infinitely more relaxed than I should have been as I walked into an already bustling kitchen. Yugi was humming contentedly in all his morning glory as he made omelettes that had ingredients I would rather not know about, and Mokuba was sitting at the dining table with his plate full while kicking his legs chirpily. Even his gestures were static with unused energy, I mused inwardly as I settled across from him. Quickly, a plate landed in front of me and happy, cheerful violet eyes wished me a good morning just as the owner said so out loud. I gave Yugi a nod and he beamed back. It was a good thing I learnt how to block his morning-cheer glare; otherwise I would have been in permanent pain all day.

"So Kaiba, did you have a nice night? Yugi asked sweetly, with an aura of such strong innocence surrounding him that an underlying snicker was just waiting to be let out. I gave him a dark, you-can't-fool-me-with-your-big-googly-eyes look and started to respond with some scathing remark, but before I could even open my mouth, Mokuba decided he wanted to join in.

"Of course he did. After all, he had great company, right, big brother?"

I turned my glare onto my little brother who couldn't hide the teasing, mischievious glint even if he tried. And to make matters more obvious, Mokuba and Yugi shared a Look, their laughter just bubbling below the surface and waiting for the right moment to erupt.

"What's going on?"

We all turned towards an owlishly, sleepy Yami who was tiredly fighting the yawns that were threatening to take over him; Mokuba and Yugi shared one more Look and then greeted Yami with a fit of giggles. I just sighed at Yami's confused expression and told him sourly, "You don't want to know."

He blinked in confusion, shrugged it off a couple of seconds after, and took his place at the table. "I think they're influencing each other too much," he said, casually stealing a bite from my plate.

"No doubt." I sighed and then glared at him. "Get your own food."

"I will. Just as soon as Yugi finishes laughing." He stared at Mokuba and Yugi, who seemed to be caught in another fit of giggles. "Or, you can just share."

"No."

He sighed, and then stole another bite when he thought I wasn't watching. I glared at him again, but wondered surreally why I was allowing it. Then, I decided that this was just another thing I didn't really want to know while grabbing for the newspaper Yugi had oh-so-helpfully placed next to my plate, and ignored the renewed giggles Mokuba and Yugi were happily supplying.