Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Inside ❯ The Journal ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Ishizu entered Seto's room to see him still sleeping. "Wonder when it was the last time he slept?" she wondered as she looked around his room. Seto's room was very nice, especially compared to hers. It had a bookcase, a dresser, a large mirror and a huge closet in it. She looked through the books and saw that surprisingly, most of them were science fiction. She always figured Seto to be the type that read the books on how to make money and run businesses and stuff. But, to her surprise, he read ordinary books. One book, however, caught her eye. It read on the label, "Journal."

"Hmmm," she said. She looked back to see Seto dead asleep. "Maybe this'll help...." She took the book out and sat down beside Seto on the bed. She flipped to the last page with writting on it, and realized that he hadn't updated it in 2 days. She looked through the pages with writing on it, and saw a familiar date. "That's the day I saw him on the blimp running off." She decided to read it, hoping to find out what was wrong.


Dear Journal,

I've cut myself again. It hurts so bad, but I feel as if I have to write this. I cut my arm, but I think I cut it too deeply this time. It's bleeding very badly. Hopefully, I don't get anything on this journal. I cut myself because I lost...again. I'm such a weakling! How could I lose again to Yugi!? Is Yugi somehow stronger than me. I guess he has more drive than me. I'm rich, but riches don't make happiness. Mokuba's the only thing close to me, but he wasn't really around. Yugi had his friends, family...everything on the line, it seemed. I...I have nothing. Wow, this cut doesn't hurt anymore. Maybe because I'm bleeding nothing. Bleeding nothing....is that possible? I'm nothing...I'm so weak. Am I scared? Lonely? Do I need somebody? I...I don't know anymore. Just thinking about it makes me want to cut myself again. But I've done it too much today. I'll cut tomorrow so that Mokuba doesn't notice. I don't want him to know, because I don't need help from anybody. If I'm doomed to kill myself, so be it. I'll just keep on cutting....until an angel saves me.

Seto Kaiba

Ishizu looked down at Seto and moved some bangs out of his closed eyes. "Seto...I never knew you felt so lost, so alone. You never even mentioned it. Hell, you didn't even act like it. And now, you're ready to kill yourself. You're only my age....18!! And you're ready to kill yourself!! But you have so much, Seto..."

Ishizu stood up and put the book back in its place. She had read enough, at least for today. Maybe she'd read some more tomorrow or something. As she put the book back, however, she heard Seto stir. She quickly turned around to see him roll around and slowly open his eyes. At first, he didn't seem to notice her. But, as his vision cleared, he realized that Ishizu hadn't left.

"Ishtar, I thought I told you to get the hell out of here!?" he questioned, immediately standing up. "Why the hell are you here? Did you sneak anything? I swear to God, I'll kill you if--"

"Seto, calm down," Ishizu replied in a tranquil voice. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't pull anything."

"Heh, like you care," he replied.

"I do!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe you, Seto! I care so much about you, you could never understand! And yet, as you cut yourself, you're rejecting everybody! Do you want to die? Is that something you crave? Your death?"

"Ishtar, this is none of your business!" Seto glared a hole through Ishizu's head.

"Seto, please," she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her heart. "Seto, trust me. Believe in me. Just this once. I want to help you. I really do. I don't want you to cut yourself anymore." She was on the verge of tears, when she saw something that was almost unexpected. She saw Seto's face change. It showed sorrow now, not anger. Sorrow, pain, tradegy. It all showed on his face.

"Fine," he slowly replied. "Alright. I'll let you help me. But I promise you, I've taken a love to cutting myself. You've got your work cut out."

Ishizu burst with joy at the fact that Seto invited her. She quickly gave him a big hug, not realizing what she was doing. "Thank you, Seto. I promise I'll help you out!" And with that, she realized what she was doing, but felt Seto slowly return the hug. She smiled and knew that deep down, Seto had found his angel.