Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Potholes in Tokyo II ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

Potholes in Tokyo

Chapter Five

AN: Blahh… trying to finish the chappy before I have to go back to school on Tuesday… eek.

"ANZU, GET ME A NAPKIN!" Yami roared, although he doubted the butler would comply; his servants were pretty much useless nowadays.

"You're silly, Yami," Yuugi said, staring up at Yami, who had been eating barbecue chips and now had that stuff all over his fingers. "You don't need a napkin…"

"What are you talking about, Yuugi?" Yami asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

"Tee-hee, poor Yami has led a sheltered life," Yuugi said as he snatched the potato chip bag from Yami's lap, digging out a handful of chips and stuffing them into his mouth. "Now, watch veeeeeery closely…" After he had swallowed the chips, he looked down at his hands. "Oh no! My fingers are soiled!" he said dramatically. "Wait, I know what to do!"

Yuugi brought a finger to his mouth and began licking the barbecue-stuff off of it. When he had finished cleaning his hand, he looked up at Yami. "See? It's that easy!" Yuugi giggled, smiling at Yami.

Yami was staring absent-mindedly at Yuugi's hand. "How do you _do_ that?"

Yuugi sighed in exasperation. "Here, I'll help you," Yuugi said, taking Yami's hand and lifting it to his lips. Slowly, he sucked on the finger.

"Aah!" Yami shrieked, wrenching his hand away. "St-stop that! Naughty, naughty, naughty!"

"What?" Yuugi asked innocently. "I really like barbecue chips… what's wrong with you, anyway?" He placed a hand on Yami's forehead. "Do you have a fever?"

"Akkkkkkk!" Yami wriggled away, falling off the couch. "I know what's going on… having Malik living here has corrupted you! MY POOR YUUGI-TENSHI!"

Yuugi grinned at the sobbing boy on the floor. "There's nothing to be sad about… I thought you _loved_ me?" Yuugi's face scrunched up in hurt.

Yami turned to him. "I-I… I do love you, Yuugi-chan…"

Yuugi's face immediately brightened, and he tackled Yami with a hug. "Yay! I knew you really loved me!"

"Ehh…" Yami looked up to see a happily smiling face directly above him, so close that Yuugi's eyelashes fluttered against his cheek. "QUIT SEDUCING ME!" Yami hopped up, running into the kitchen and bolting the door shut.

Yuugi stared after him, confusion evident on his face. "Nani?"

Bakura laughed like a madman, stirring a bowl full of cake mix as he watched Yami shaking like a leaf. "KU KU KU KU KU!"

"Urusai!"

"Ha ha ha! Baka Pharaoh… tell me, how is it, being on the bottom? I've never had the experience myself and I'm curious…"

Yami whimpered, drawing his knees to his chest. "I feel lost and confused, like an artichoke in the snow…"

"Aww, I'm sorry, Pharaoh… ah, how the mighty have fallen…"

"Stupid chef-man…"

"But it's obvious that Yuugi feels the same way as you do…" Bakura said as he poured the cake batter into a big pan.

"What?"

"Well, you see… it's sort of how I felt when I realized that Ryou was `the one'… just thinking about him made me agonizingly happy and warm inside, and I felt my heart would burst if I didn't get to see him, hold him, kiss him… things like that…"

"Aww, the Tomb Robber is head over heels in love with the secretary…"

"Yes, well at least _I'm_ not afraid of the one I love…"

"I'm not afraid of Yuugi… he just scares me sometimes…"

"Bwahahahahahahaha!" Bakura laughed uproariously as he violently shoved the cake pan in the oven.

Yami blinked. "I think I'm paying you too much…"

Bakura quickly shut up.

Yami grinned.

*~*

"Ohayou, Ryou-kun!" a voice said merrily as the albino-looking boy stumbled in the door of Kaibacorp.

"Oh, morning, Miho…" Ryou greeted, politely pretending to be happy she was stalking him once again.

"You certainly look nice today…"

"Err… thanks," Ryou said sheepishly. "Well, I have to go to my office now; you know, if you don't work, you don't get paid…" Laughing nervously, he disappeared into the elevator.

"You _do_ know he's engaged, right?" Mokuba asked, stepping from behind a giant coffee maker.

"N-nani?" Miho asked, light green eyes showing immense shock.

"Duh! Haven't you noticed that gigantic rock on his finger?"

"B-but… why would Ryou be wearing an engagement ring? I thought that only women wore engagement rings…" Miho looked around nervously before bending down to whisper in Mokuba's ear. "Did… did he get a sex change without telling me? Because… he was _definitely_ a boy in high school…"

"I… I'm not going to ask how you can be so sure about that," Mokuba said. "But, err… in case you hadn't noticed, your Ryou belongs to another man…"

Miho gasped. "Poor, poor Ryou! I know! He must be delusional; HE MUST HAVE BOUGHT CRACK FROM OTOGIIIIIIII!"

"Eek! Stupid whore, don't yell in my ears!"

Miho, being the nice (yet slightly crazed and obsessive) person she was, decided to ignore Mokuba's comment. "I know! I will win the love of my Ryou! Then he will be mine forever and we can have gorgeous purple-haired and brown-eyed children!"

Mokuba sweat-dropped, staring up at the girl wearing the strange orange uniform. "Fruitcake…"

Miho walked away, many plots forming in her mind.

"Heh. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only slightly sane person around here…"

*~*

"Morning, Seto-kun. How are you doing?"

"Terribly, Ryou-chan," Seto muttered as he typed away on his computer.

"Doushite?" Ryou asked, tilting his head to the side cutely.

"I just realized that nearly everyone I know is gay…" Seto said, not taking his eyes from his computer. "…and that I'll be alone forever because I'm the only straight person in Japan…"

"Uhh… gomen ne… maybe you should be gay too?"

Seto slammed his fist angrily on the table. "What's the point? ALL THE GOOD BISHIES ARE TAKEN!"

"Err… I think I'll go file something now," Ryou said nervously, closing the door behind him.

"Why are you here?" Noa asked, glaring angrily at Ryou.

"I work here… though I doubt you know what the word `work' entails…"

"I hate you."

"Tee-hee, it's so cute how you constantly say the opposite of what you feel," Ryou smiled at Noa as he heaved an enormous stack of papers on top of a large filing cabinet.

"Oro?"

"I know you love me, silly!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Why would anyone, let alone _I_, the great Noa Kaiba, love an incorrigible waif such as yourself?"

"Because I'm adorable," Ryou said simply. "But I'm sorry to report that I belong to someone else… I feel so bad to break the heart of one so young… but don't worry, you're invited to the wedding-I'll even let you carry my train!"

"Train…?" Noa, looking extremely puzzled, wandered around the Kaibacorp building for the rest of the day, muttering, "Train…?"

[*Nifty Sparkly Time Lapse Thingy of Fluff-Filled DOOM*]

"Gwa ha ha ha ha ha! I shall see to it that my Ryou goes heterosexual once more!" Miho declared. "Now, I shall set my plan into motion! Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss ATTACK!"

A confused Pegasus of Industrial Illusions crumpled to the floor. Miho stared down at the face of her captive. "Ehh… oops…" She whistled innocently, stepping away from the crime scene before anyone else arrived. "Let's try this again…"

"Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing, "Mo-mi-ji! The frogs in the pond are calling, "Mo-mi-ji", yes, it's truuuuuuue!"

"What in green hills and valleys?" Miho asked herself as she stared at the black-haired man dancing around the office. "Hn… must be Otogi…"

"Otogi, don't you remember what I told you?" Ryou asked, placing a hand on the man's shoulder.

"Who are you, you foxy thing?"

Ryou sweat-dropped, a blush tinting his cheeks. "Crack kills, Otogi. Remember that!"

Miho growled. How dare that stupid Otogi hit on _her_ Ryou?

"THE RYOU IS MINE, YOU BAKA!" Miho yelled, charging at Otogi.

"Err… Miho?" Ryou asked. "What's wrong…? Did you forget to take your Midol today?"

"Ry-chan… you're coming with me, ha ha ha!"

Ryou went `Eep' before he succumbed to the Miho-induced darkness.

"Gwahahahaha! I have finally succeeded! THE RYOU IS MIIIIIINE!" Miho did a little victory dance before taking hold of Ryou and jumping out the window with him. "Tee-hee, a giant trampoline!" Miho smiled, glad she and her love hadn't gone `splat'. "But… why is it covered in… chocolate?"

She looked across the expanse of the trampoline, to see two pairs of angry violet eyes turned her way. "Err… hi," she said quickly, gulping. "I… suppose I'll leave now… just…er, you go back to what you were doing before…"

"Hey, did that white-haired guy remind you of anyone?" Marik asked, watching as Miho ran off into the distance with Ryou.

"Yeah, he's a dead ringer for Pegasus J. Crawford!" Malik said.

"Really…? I was thinking of Inuyasha… oh well…" Marik shrugged. "I suppose we should take her advice and continue, ne?"

Malik sighed. "One of these days, I'm taking you on Ricki and telling them about what a sex fiend you are…"

Marik grinned. "Of course…"

AN: Not much to say… the plot has thickened! …mou!