Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Potholes in Tokyo II ❯ Chapter Six ( Chapter 6 )

Potholes in Tokyo II

Chapter Six

"Pharaoooooooh," Bakura whined as he shoved a tray full of chocolate chip cookies into the stove.

"What's wrong now?" Yami asked.

"My Ry-chaaaaaaaaaaan," Bakura said, sobbing.

"Oh, he's only half an hour late," Yami said, trying to be helpful. "He probably just stopped by a _special_ store to buy you something…"

"Don't even joke, Pharaoh! He's never been late before!"

Yami reached for the mounting pile of sweets on the table, but Bakura slapped his hand away. "Stop that! Those are for Ryou-itooshi!"

"Well, Ryou's not here…he won't know if a few are gone!"

"PHARAOH, TOUCH THE SWEETS AND I SHALL BEHEAD YOU WITH KAIBA'S POINTY TRENCH COAT!"

Yami blinked. "Kaiba wouldn't let you have his trench coat…"

"I WOULD STEEEEEAL IT!"

"…right."

"Waaaaaah!" Bakura collapsed into sobbing on Yami's arm. "My lovely Ryouuuuu-chaaaaaaan…"

"Aww, it's all right, Baku-chan… I'm sure Ryou will be back soon…"

"Ah… you're right, baka Pharaoh," Bakura said, drying his tears and moving to check on the cookies in the oven. "Do you think it's O.K. that I put bananas, chocolate, vanilla, and honey in the pizza I baked for Ryou?"

"Ehh… aren't you going to wait until you're married?!" Yami asked, eyes bulging.

"You know, you're right. Here, give the aphrodisiac pizza to your Yuugi!"

"My Yuugi obviously doesn't _need_ an aphrodisiac pizza… I mean I'm so sexy as it is…"

"Then give it to the apricot girl. Maybe she can keep her pizza man if he's hallucinating and disillusioned."

"Why do you care about Anzu?"

"If she's busy with the pizza man, I don't have to deal with her!"

"Ah, good thinking!" Yami said. "Yes, give the Anzu the aphrodisiac pizza!"

"…"

"What is it now?"

"Ryouuuuuuuuu-chaaaaaaan…"

*~*

"WAIT!"

"What is it, Malik-uke?"

"I… I just realized something…" Malik said, eyes lighting up in epiphany. "Do you remember that guy we saw earlier?"

"Yeah."

"He had a GIGANTIC engagement ring! …why can't you get ME one of those, Marik-seme?"

"Umm…errr… LOOK, A GIANT TOMATO!"

"Huh? Where?" Malik's eyes darted around the landscape in search for the giant tomato. "Maaaaaarik…" came the warning tone.

"Nani desu ka?"

"Are you just trying to distract me?"

"No, of course not, Malik-uke…"

"Then why don't you want to get me an engagement ring?"

"Because… I… I have trouble with commitment," Marik said, hanging his head sorrowfully.

"Like Mr. Sheffield?!" Malik shrieked happily, clapping his hands together.

O.o "That's it, Malik; no more Lifetime TV for you!"

Malik tried his best puppy dog eyes. "Onegai? Please, Marik-seme?"

"Fine, I'll get you an engagement ring," Malik brightened. "…but no Lifetime TV."

"Aww, shucks."

"Ehh… what were we just doing?" Marik asked, confused.

"Uhh… licking chocolate off each other?"

"Hn. Let's go do something else, then."

*Gasp* "I have an idea!" Malik said happily, a giant light bulb appearing over his head. "Let's go visit Yami!"

"Pfft. Who is this `Yami'?"

"He's this midget with lots of money and a cute little catamite. Yami wears tight leather pants."

"What are you waiting for, then? Let's go!"

*~*

"Mou…" Ryou said cutely, blinking as he stared around the room. "Where am I…?"

"Ryou-chan, you're awake! Yesh!"

"Huh?" Ryou asked, sleep fogging his rain and pretty much halting his thought processes.

"It is I, your love!"

"…you don't _look_ like my Baku-chan…"

"Of course I don't!"

"…you don't _smell_ like my Baku-chan, either…"

"Ryou…"

"…and you definitely don't have my Baku-chan's voice…"

"RYOU, YOU'RE STRAIGHT! YOU AREN'T IN LOVE WITH THIS `BAKU-CHAN'! YOU LOVE ME!"

"H-hontou ni?" Ryou asked, trembling.

Miho nodded with verve, giving Ryou a bright smile.

"…I could have sworn that I was engaged to this dude named Bakura… and that he was a mental chef… and that we were very much in love and were very cute together in order to please the rabid fans…"

"Oh, you must have had a nightmare!" Miho shrieked, looping her arms around Ryou's shoulders. "You poor, poor thing!"

"What are you doing, female?"

"I'M BEING AFFECTIONATE, MORON!"

"…"

"Ehh…"

Ryou's eyes filled with tears; he turned away, burying his face in his hands as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I'M SO SORRY, RYOU!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Ryou whined.

"I didn't mean it, Ryou! I still love you!"

"…but I want my Baku-chan…"

Miho stared at the sobbing Ryou, who was tightly hugging a pillow to his chest. "You'll never love me, will you?"

"I'm… afraid not… but I do know this straight guy who might like you!"

Miho stared dully at her shoes, trying her hardest to ignore the albino-esque boy who was now trying to find her a guy.

"…yeah, his name is Seto Kaiba!"

"…I work for him."

"Oh, yeah; I was sorta confused because all you ever did at Kaibacorp was stare at me, with drool running down your face…"

Miho glared at the wall in an attempt to stop from getting angry at Ryou.

"Well, err… there's this guy named Otogi… wait, I think he's in love with Honda…"

"Is _everyone_ you know gay?"

Ryou thought for a moment, considering. "…pretty much!"

Miho sighed. "And you're _sure_ you'll never go straight one day and be attracted to me and my attractive orange outfit?"

"Absolutely positive!" Ryou said, giving her a genki smile.

"You're so cute."

Ryou blinked, blushing slightly.

"Would you like some tea?"

*~*

"Hello Yami!" Malik squeaked happily, appearing right behind the Pharaoh-type man.

"AAAAAARGH! …how'd _you_ get in here?"

"The door was unlocked!" Malik said brightly.

"Stupid, stupid…" Yami muttered to himself, ignoring as the sounds of exploding cake pans resounded from the kitchen.

"EEK!" Marik shrieked, jumping in the air and landing in the chandelier. "I'M UNDER ATTACK, I'M UNDER ATTACK!"

"What was that?" Malik asked; he was surprised, but managed to control any paranoid outbursts that may have been trying to escape his lithe form.

Yami rolled his eyes. "Bakura…"

"Isn't he that funny tapir at the zoo?" Marik asked, a confused look on his face.

Yami stared up at him. "You're a moron."

"Waaaaah, the midget man is being mean to meeeee! Make him stop it, Malik-uke! Make him stop!"

"Come down from there, Marik-seme," Malik ordered.

"Why don't you make me?" Marik asked, sticking his tongue out.

"Because you would _enjoy_ that too much, silly," Malik said, grinning.

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

Yami blinked as a quivering mass of white hair and frilly pink apron landed next to him on the couch. "Bakura?" he asked of the heap.

"Hey, didn't I just see you get kidnapped by a girl wearing orange?" Marik asked.

"No, stupid, that was someone else!" Malik said, smacking his seme with a magically appearing ice cream scoop.

Bakura stared at them. "You two…"

"…"

"YOU MUST KNOW THE WHERABOUTS OF MY RYOU-CHAN!"

"Well, err… no, we don't, but…"

"WHY NOT?! You said you had seen a guy who looked like me getting kidnapped!"

"Well, gee, it's not like we followed the guy home!"

"AND WHY DIDN'T YOU?!"

"We were-" Marik began, but was stopped when Malik clamped a hand over his mouth.

"-busy," Malik finished.

"Well, yes, I'll admit that we were _very_ busy…" Marik said, licking his lips.

Yami sweat-dropped.

"It's settled, then! You shall show me where you saw my Ryou-chan, and then, using my posh and uber-cool detective skills, I shall find my lovely Ryou!"

"Ehh… sure. I suppose there's some chocolate left."

Yami watched as Bakura left, followed by two blonde Egyptians with stupid grins on their faces. "There is truly no sanity left in this world," Yami uttered profoundly into the silence.

"Hello, Yami!" Yuugi chirped, a towel around his shoulders and hair still wet from his shower.

"Hello, Yuugi!"

Yuugi plopped down on the couch next to Yami, resting his head on the man's shoulder. "I love you, Yami!"

Yami blinked. "I… I love you too, Yuugi…"

"Of course you do! The whole world knows that, silly!" Yuugi giggled at Yami's confused expression. "You're so cute, Yami!"

"When I started this job, I was told that I would get to be seme…"

"Really? Me, too!" Yuugi grinned at Yami.

Yami shook a fist at the sky, causing Yuugi to blink at him.

"You know what, Yami? We can both be seme!"

Yami gave the amethyst-eyed boy an exasperated look.

"It would work! I know it would!" Yuugi said, giving him a pleading look.

Yami sighed. "We're still shounen-ai, so seme and uke don't even matter…"

Yuugi sighed sadly, nodding in agreement. "Shounen-ai sucks, ne?"

"Hai… but I'm still the seme!" Yami said quickly, attacking Yuugi with a salvo of tickles.

"He-eeey! That's no faaaaaair!"

AN: Tee-hee… I'm sooo sleepy… and I sprained my ankle today… I fell off the bus and my ankle sorta… crumpled. It wasn't a nice feeling… but I still managed to type a chapter! Yesh! Applaud for me, adoring fans, for I have prevailed! …or you could just review. I like reviews, you know.