Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Project Bakura Hood ❯ Chapter 7, the end ( Chapter 8 )

By Hotaru Hope Maxwell and Dorie Kaiba

 

Authoress Hotaru: We in no way own any of the anime characters/references used in our lovely play/skit.

Authoress Dorie: **blink**

Authoress Hotaru: **big yawn**

Authoress Dorie: This is the last chapter. We are not doing another chapter after this. Please Hotaru! I don't care how long it takes, we have to Yu Yu Belina after this **begging motion**

Authoress Hotaru: Of course. I've already designed some lovely outfits for our characters. **holds up bright purple tunic**

Yugi: We're not in this next story are we?

Authoress Dorie: Nope.

Yu-Gi-Oh Cast: **sighs relieved**

Authoress Dorie: Just for that, you can wear Authoress Hotaru's other designs of extra embarrassment.

Authoress Hotaru: HEY! They're good!

Yu-Gi-Oh cast: **groan**

Authoress Hotaru: I'm frying you all.

Authoress Dorie: **sweat drop** Let's just start **pulls down scenery screen**

 

Seto-A-Dale: Why are we back in the forest anyway? This is so stupid! We could have ended the tale before. ** freezes speaking when he catches Authoress Hotaru's glare through the forest** Ugh….Fine…Welcome again, gentle-friends **mutters** in no way am I friend with any of you, so no discounts in Kaibaland.

 

Yami: Cheap-skate…

 

Seto-A-Dale: You die now.

 

Yami: I'd like to see you try, tight pansy ass.

 

Seto-A-Dale: I am never wearing tights again as long as I live.

 

Authoress Dorie: **pops in** Seto! You always promised to wear them tonight! **whines**

 

Seto: **groans**

 

Authoress Hotaru: FINISH OR I KILL YOU!!!!!

 

Seto: **meeps** Continuing now—Bakura Hood and Pharaoh Idiot, why don't you show yourselves so we may continue our normal lifestyles.

 

Bakura: You just wanna do Authoress Dorie.

 

Seto: **shrugs not denying** We really should finish this, though.

 

Yami: Yeah, I think now is a good time to get into the palace and reveal to Pega-stupid-ass that I am alive and kicking.

 

Bakura: You really just want to F888 Yugi.

 

Yami: This is true.

 

Everyone: **sighs**

 

Yami: But to do so we need my army…or at least a battalion of guards.

 

Authoress Hotaru: So you just need some guys who can destroy all of Peg-ass' goons? Where would we get a destructive force of that power? **blinks and turns, looking straight at sweat dropping Heero Yuy** Hee-chan….

 

Authoress Dorie: **holding Duo in headlock declares** get your Gundams, boys, we're going to war!

 

Heero/Duo: **sigh** AGAIN?!

 

Wufei:**appears** How are we to be compensated for this?

 

Authoress Hotaru: How about I don't distribute these photos? **lifts up brown envelop**

 

Authoress Dorie: What is it with you and blackmail photos anyway?

 

Authoress Hotaru: **shrugs** I don't know. They're just so much fun. Remember when I took that---**Mouth gets covered by Hiei**

 

Authoress Dorie: Finally showing some usefulness aren't you pipsqueak.

 

Hiei: **grunts and glares**

 

Quatre/Heero/Duo/Trowa: **all appear with Gundams and begin full scale assault on palace**

 

))))))INSIDE CASTLE(((((((

 

Mokuba: **touching Rex** What was that?

 

Rex: Nothing….**moans** Here **pulls Mokuba into lap** Let me help you with that.

 

Seto: **somehow manages to get from forest to palace in 2 minutes flat, panting** What…*pant*…are you doing to my…*huff*…brother?!

 

Rex and Mokuba: **Look up where Rex is helping Mokuba tie the corset of his dress and Mokuba is dressing Rex's wounds from his angry whores**

 

Mokuba: Nani Nii-sama?

 

Seto: **sighs relieved** I'll do that **pushes Rex away and begins to do corset**

 

Mokuba: Nii-sama, how do you know how to tie a corset?

 

Seto: I've tied and untied many a corset in my day.

 

Mokuba: I guess Authoress Dorie must be into stuff like that…

Seto: **shifts, looking uncomfortable** Dorie…right…

 

Mokuba: **gasps** Have you been cheating on her?!

 

Seto: Only with Kurama.

 

Mokuba: Why would Mr. Kurama wear a corset?

 

Seto: I think he's been chased by so many cross dressers that he's become one.

 

**Trumpets blow**

 

Rex: King-Pharaoh Yami has Returned!

 

Yugi: Where! WHERE?!

 

Yami: **appears on top Gundam Wing Zero in classic hero pose with flag tapped to his back, flinging everywhere laughing maniacally.**

 

Seto: Bastard stole my pose—and I'm the only one supposed to climb on mechanical devices.

 

Authoress Dorie: **randomly hears that and begins laughing**

 

Heero: **snarling at image Duo is projecting to his computer screen of Yami** I'm going to kill him.

 

Authoress Dorie: **Snaps fingers and flag's picture changes from Gold Ra eye to giant erected cock**

 

Authoress Hotaru: Where's Ryou?

 

(((((((((((((Ryou)))))))))))))))

 

Ryou: **on bed with Bakura**

 

Yugi: **walks into room** Bakura…You're supposed to be leading the assault with Yami!

 

Bakura: **groans loudly**

 

Ryou: You're the thief and you can't lock a damn door!

 

Bakura: **Smiles pleasantly before trying to make out again**

 

Authoress Hotaru: **appears and grabs Bakura from behind and forces him into battle garb before teleporting him to Duo's Deathscythe Hell where he is riding and picture of tight ass is tapped to back**

 

Bakura: WHAT THE HELL!?

 

Wufei: These guys fight for the weirdest crap!

 

Duo: They're like me and Heero.

 

Heero: **shudders**

 

Authoress Dorie: **goes to find Pega-ass cowering behind throne** There's a fight you need to be in.

 

Pega-ass: Must I **meekly**? I know! I'll use my secret warrior! **uses button to teleport Kenshin Himura there**

 

Kenshin: Oro?

 

Authoress Hotaru: **squeals** Ken-san! How's Kaoru? **teleports in front of swirly eyed red head** Has the mood-swings got you and Yahiko crazy yet?

 

Kenshin: Oro?

 

Authoress Hotaru: **grabs him and tugs him away** I gotta show you the pictures from Sakura! Baby Hikari is just soooo cute! **vanishes**

 

Kenshin: Oro?

 

Authoress Dorie: That was the dumbest red head I have ever seen.

 

Pega-Ass: **nods** Why did I hire him?

 

Hiei: He's the hitokiri Battosai…He can kill with a single strike…If he didn't turn into a pacifist with a no-killing moto.

 

Pega-ass: **sweat drops**

 

Authoress Dorie: Could he beat you, twerp?

 

Hiei: **grunts and shrugs** Maybe in swordplay. He beat Soujiro and Souji-chan beat me.

 

Authoress Dorie: I knew you were useless. I knocked you out with a punch.

 

Kurama: Can we just get back on track?

 

Authoress Dorie: Fine **Throws Pega-Ass into the midst of the Gundam fighting to be torn, cut, ripped, desinigrated and other nasty stuff by the huge machines until he is nothing but a pile of goo**

 

****Five Minutes later—All of Pega-ass' forces are obliterated, Bakura returns to throne room where Yami is sitting with the bloody almost nothing form of Pega-ass**

 

Yami: You shall pay for your crimes, Prince Pega-ass! From now on, all toilets shall be known as Pega-ass's! **everyone starts to laugh while Pega-ass screams in horror**

 

Bakura: That's too much like another Robin Hood Movie, dork. Can't I just kill him?

 

Yami: **blinks and pauses to think** Nah…Merik, Shadi, Malik, would you please do the honors?

 

The three: **drag Pega-ass's soon to be corpse away screaming for his mommy**

 

Mokuba/Yugi/Ryou: **enter the room, despite Ryou's up heaved look**

 

Yugi: Can I kiss him now?

 

Authoress Dorie: **nods** But only kissing!

 

Yugi: **whimpers before running into Yami's arms and kissing daylight out of him**

 

Mokuba: So I don't got to marry the psycho-child stalker any more?

 

Authoress Dorie: You wanted to?

 

Mokuba: I want someone to love me!

 

Authoress Hotaru: **appears tugging Hao of Shaman King** Here Hao. This kid needs a body guard. **Points and Mokuba gets hearts in eyes**

 

Hao: **smiles pleasantly** Anything so I just don't die again!

 

Seto: **groans and rubs temple**

 

Bakura: **begins to pull Ryou off to sheltered side**

 

Yami: O no you don't Bakura Hood! To lake the Maid Ryou, you must first take her hand!

 

Ryou: I'm not a girl!

 

Bakura: In this relationship you are. **pulls Ryou away as Authoress Hotaru begins feminist lecture**

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Marriage time!!!))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

Ishizu: Do you, Dorie, take this man, Seto Kaiba to be your lawfully wedded husband?

 

Authoress Dorie: I do.

 

Ishizu: And do you---

 

Seto: I do, I do! **big kisses**

 

Ishizu: Wait a second—Man and Wife! Arg! Next couple!

 

**Pair runs off to honeymoon tent!**

 

Bakura: **steps up with Ryou to alter and pays the fine of 2 silver coins**

 

Ishizu: Do you…Um…Bakura Hood, take Maid Ryou, to be your lawfully wedded wife?

 

Ryou: I'm not a girl!

 

Ishizu: Whatever.

 

Bakura: No interruptions sweety, I do.

 

Ryou: **sighs blissfully** I do too.

 

Ishizu: Fine, you're man and man…The last honeymoon tent open is over there. **looks at line of Yami/Yugi, Merik/Malik, Duo/Heero and Quatre/Trowa** Line's closed boys. **sighs at death glares** come back tomorrow.

 

**ENDING COMMENTARY**

 

Everyone: CAST PARTY!!! DRINK DRINK!

 

Yami: So are you two married now?

 

Bakura: Of course not, it was just for the play.

 

Yami: Well in that case you can't have sex with Ryou.

 

Bakura: WHAT?!

 

Yami: It's in his image.

 

Ryou: FUCK IMAGES! **tugs happy looking Bakura into hidden room** WE ARE SO DOING IT SO THERE! **slams door**

 

Yugi: He gets to lose his virginity, finally. **whimpers gives Yami big eyes**

 

Authoress Dorie: The other room's that way **points**

Yugi/Yami: **rush off in direction of room**

 

Authoress Dorie: Did we do good? Did we Authoress Hotaru?

 

Authoress Hotaru: **shrugs and yawns** Bed…**collapses on top of sleeping Hiei**

 

Authoress Dorie: **in Yu Yu Hakusho voice** If you liked this story, I'm sure you did to read this far! Go and read Yu Yu Belina! GO NOW! I know what you did last summer! Ack **runs away from lawyers trying to sue**

 

THE END………

 

**Harry Potter End Theme Song**