Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Redemption ❯ The Truth of the Past ( Chapter 24 )

AN:

Huge apologies if you have been getting emails, this thing did not want to update right and I have had to delete the chapter and start again. Sorry if it has spammed your inbox. *grovels at your feet*

 

Hah, don't faint with shock, it's an update. Well what with technical hitches, being separated from a PC over Christmas and… oh yeah! Happy New Year to you all. Well I must have started this chapter six damn times and each time it was different. It didn't go to plan, Seto ended up hogging the damn thing. Oh well never mind.

 

Now Beta Read. For now, enjoy a dose of angst.

 

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Seto woke with pain rattling, or more accurately throbbing resoundingly, through his skull. What the hell? He groaned and rolled over, the movement only serving to add to his discomfort. He was seriously considering not getting out of bed ever again when the bedroom door opened. He growled softly in annoyance; he was in no mood to deal with the cheerful blond.

 

“As much as the animalistic growl suits your temperament Seto it will not wash with me.” A deep voice said, highly amused.

 

Seto opened his eyes in surprise and instantly regretted it as pain lanced through his skull. He knew from the voice that it wasn't Joey, and opening his eye with a little caution this time confirmed that the owner of those deep tones was none other than Bakura. What in all of Heaven? So he wasn't home… or back at Joey's… whatever. His mind started to piece together the events of the previous night and he had to suppress the stream of curses that threatened to spill from his lips. His attention was quickly grabbed as Bakura placed some objects on the bedside table next to him.

 

“Take the tablets with the tea. The tea will help you wake up and the tablets will help your head. Drink the water after the tea; if you get too dehydrated you will only feel worse later.” He instructed Seto, the Avenger scoffing at being treated like this, but he was in too much of a bad way to argue. “I'll have breakfast waiting for you when you feel up to it, but there's no rush.”

 

Seto sighed heavily, making Bakura smirk when he saw how he was struggling with the after effects of a night's heavy drinking. He started to leave but was stopped at the door.

 

“Wait.” Seto called out. “Did I really hit Yami last night?”

 

Bakura chuckled. “Yeah, you cracked him a good one, but if you ask me, he was asking for it.”

 

Seto groaned inwardly. Bakura's confirmation meant two things. Firstly that he remembered the events of last night correctly and therefore he had revealed far too much. That meant that secondly he was going to have to dish out some serious punishment to the two for getting him into that state. Well, he had been gullible enough to fall for it and that only made him angrier. Oh, and thirdly this meant that he probably wasn't going to get out of this morning without a meaningful conversation on the subject. Wait, wasn't it two things when he started out thinking? Crap, this pain in his head made it hard to think.

 

Back to the point, this meant that he was going to have to reveal more than he had ever before to anyone. That was something he hadn't wanted to do… ever. That aggravating thought only served to make his pounding head worse and he had to lie back and close his eyes to stave it off. Curse this human form! Bakura chuckled at the amusing picture Seto made and left him to it. In the darkness behind his eyelids Seto strayed into other thoughts, his mind consumed with images of bright blue eyes and long white hair.

 

“Kisara.” He whispered the name to the empty room.

 

Images from his memory that he had long ago pushed away and forgotten made themselves known. Her gentle smile, the knowing twinkle in her eye, and the laughter that rang with the sweetness of a clear mountain stream, silvery on the ear and a sound that lifted his heart. Never did a harsh word rest on her tongue; she was logical, kind and fierce when it came to what she believed in. In that way she'd had more strength than he would ever possess. It was his lack of will to choose his heart over his sense of duty that had led to him taking her life. He felt his sorrow and his grief well up inside him once more. He deserved it, this pain; he deserved to suffer for taking her light from the worlds. And therefore, no matter how much it galled him, he deserved the pain of giving an explanation to Bakura.

 

He opened his eyes with a sigh knowing that he had best get on with things. He picked up the two small white objects that lay on the tray. He wondered what infernal substance they were made of, but he trusted Bakura enough to do as instructed... just. Wincing as his head throbbed nastily he grimaced and forced the two round items down his throat.

 

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In the kitchen Bakura busied himself with breakfast as soon as heard the shower begin to run. He tried not to think too much on Seto's admission of the previous night. He would be getting an explanation in time, of that he was certain. It was in the resignation he had seen in those shockingly blue eyes earlier. He made a silent promise to himself and Seto to just listen and not to question him when the time came, or press him either. He saw the pain the other was in from carrying his burden and he recognised it, a reflection of his own, though his own had been lessened by his blossoming relationship with Ryou. While all of Heaven and Hell knew of his pain, the stoic angel had been carrying his grief and the weight of his actions alone, unrecognised by a single soul. No wonder he had such a huge stick up his ass.

 

Okay - that thought nearly had him sniggering and that was seriously inappropriate in this somewhat delicate situation. He managed to get hold of himself and was calm and serving up breakfast as Seto finally walked into the kitchen. Bakura had a dicey moment when the sight of a slightly dishevelled and distinctly hung-over angel assailed him. Seto had no idea how funny he looked and it took great effort, but he managed to get it down to an ill disguised smirk that the blue eyed seraph snorted at as he took a seat at the table. Bakura couldn't help but take pleasure at the look of disbelief on Seto's face when he placed the plate of food in front of him.

 

"And what is this pray tell?" Seto asked as he poked something that looked vaguely recognizable -it might have been eggs - as if it might go off.

 

"That, is a greasy fry up. Otherwise known as a universally recognized hangover cure." Bakura replied with a grin.

 

"And how is eating..." He poked at the food gingerly, "this... supposed to help?"

 

Bakura chuckled. "Beats me if I know how, but being on the receiving end of a few there is something in it, but I'm fucked if I know what it is that makes it work."

 

Seto sighed. Oh well, he might as well get on with it he supposed. Bakura sat opposite him and the two seraphim, one earthbound and one heavenly, ate in silence Bakura sensing that this was for the best. It gave him time to compose himself knowing that the time for Seto to talk was drawing near. He did not say anything to encourage him or press him but remained quiet. It was an unspoken agreement that Bakura would not ask, and that Seto would talk when he was good and ready. When they had finished their food Bakura got up and began to wash and clean up, leaving Seto to stare at his hands that were clasped around a warm mug of tea. Bakura had spent so long getting into his task and Seto had been so quiet that he had almost forgotten about him when Seto finally broke the silence.

 

"She was the most beautiful creature in all of the Heavens, with the kindest nature that anyone has ever seen, though her brother's comes close. She never minded my roughness, my fierce devotion to my duty, never once complaining that it was my duty that came first."

 

Seto sighed, Bakura having stopped what he was doing and had turned to face Seto, though from his position at the sink Seto had his back to him. Not that Seto minded, in some ways that made it easier for him to talk, sensing that he had Bakura's full attention anyway.

 

"She could always calm me, temper me, she made me a better person. I don't recall when it happened but I lost my heart to her. It was something that we kept quiet at my insistence. Her brother was the only one who knew, though neither of us ever told him."

 

Suddenly the memory of him challenging her about it angrily after Akeifa had mentioned it in passing came to mind. He had been furious at Akeifa's amusement and the fact that he had known at all. Kisara had merely laughed at him prettily, her amusement shining in her eyes, her voice a gentle melody.

 

"We are twins my love, we are connected. Did you really expect anything less with a bond such as ours? I never tell him anything, I don't need to, he just knows, just like he knows that I love you dearly, and he never had to tell me that he fell for Bakura and loves him with all his heart. It's one of those glorious works of the Lord."

 

When she said it everything seemed so simple, so logical. He had taken her into his arms and held her tight, grateful for every moment in which he got to hold her. He pushed the memory aside and continued.

 

"When the Battle of the Heavens came it was a choice. Follow my heart and stand beside her, consequently betraying God, or do my Lord's bidding as I was created to do. My duty and the Lord had been everything to me for my entire life. From the moment I became aware. It was the strongest drive within me, so in many ways it was no choice at all. "

 

He paused for a moment trying to collect himself for what he was about to talk about.

 

"I admired her for having the strength to stand up and fight for what she believed in. If I am honest, when it came to humanity's souls I couldn't have cared less either way, my business was with the Heavens. But even then I resented Marik and the others for ensnaring her, or that was what I told myself at the time. Her betrayal of the Lord hurt and while I knew better, I refused to believe that she would do it without having been coerced."

 

Bakura nodded behind Seto even though he couldn't see it. He was beginning to understand a little why there seemed to be so much hatred within the Avenger for the Fallen.

 

"When things got bad, particularly with Yami hacking off angels' wings in battle, you have no idea how much that upset the Lord - that was when I was summoned into his presence. I had been fighting hard on the front lines, Yami had nearly had one of my wings on more than one occasion, and we had all been fighting hard, well... all except you."

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a coward." Bakura snapped waspishly.

 

Trust Seto to get a dig in, even at a time like this.

 

Seto bit his tongue, refusing to be drawn off point. He would deal with that small detail later. Ignoring Bakura's outburst he continued.

 

"It was then that I was given the sword. I knew the instant I touched it how deadly it was, the chill went straight up my spine and froze me to the spot. It's a moment that I will never forget."

 

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Seto stared disbelieving at the sword he held in his hand. The instant he had touched it, the blade had been wreathed in blue flame that snaked round his wrist as it recognised its owner, and the chill that ran up his spine had frozen him to the bone. It frightened him, the power that he felt pulsing through the weapon in a background hum that only he could hear/feel. To his knowledge no blade existed that could cause lasting injury to an angel, even after losing their wings to Yami's blade they grew back though it took a few painful days... but he knew with every fibre of his being that this weapon could do just that and more. It could take an angel's life. His distress at the feelings he got from the blade must have shown in his expression as the Lord spoke, shattering the silence and quieting the sword's unnatural hum.

 

"The blade was forged for you Seto. It was forged to amplify your power and when you wield it, it will give you immeasurable power. You are my Left Hand, my Avenger I name you, you are the one I trust to dispense my justice, to be my spearhead in battle. You have proven yourself many times over already. You will do my will, be my Lieutenant."

 

Seto swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the responsibility he was being given. Had the sword not been in his hand he would have been very proud, felt every last part of the honour being bestowed upon him. But with the horrific weapon in his hand he only felt cold, afraid of its power.

“I am honoured Lord that you would bestow such trust in me, much less have such a gift made for your humble servant.” He said with all due reverence. “But my Lord, this blade… I cannot use it in battle. I can feel what it is capable of.”

 

Seto shivered when the Lord's gaze met his and he got the sense of infinite depth one always felt when the Lord gave true eye contact. It was not unlike falling - or that was what it felt like to look into those dark eyes. But not only that, they now shimmered with a slow burning anger. Seto could understand that emotion, being betrayed by the very angels that he had created and in particular by Marik, who he had been uncommonly close to. Angry just didn't cover it.

 

“I am aware of what it is capable of Seto my child, and that is why I have entrusted it to you. I trust you to wield it with due care, and wield it in battle you will. That is my desire.”

 

Seto was stunned, his eyes dropping once more to the blade, the flames now having coiled round his arm and up to his shoulder. He didn't even feel them, though while they were there they made the weapon feel like it was actually a part, an extension of himself. Not a feeling he was entirely comfortable with. Truly it had been forged for him for it recognised its master, and in no other hand would it have such great and terrible power.

 

“Has it really come to this?” He asked softly.

 

Normally he would have been horrified that anyone would dare question God, but now he found himself doing so without a second thought. He knew that if he carried this blade into battle an angel, maybe several, would die and they would die by his hand. If he was to do such an evil thing he had to know the Lord's mind, even if questioning him, invited his wrath. But the Lord smiled softly, recognising the question for what it was. He approached the disconcerted angel who dutifully knelt before him. He rested his hand on Seto's head to comfort him.

 

“Seto my child, we both know this battle is not proceeding anywhere. Neither side is stronger than the other. Something had to tip the balance. Marik has made his stand and it is time to end this foolishness. Such fighting is for humanity. I will not have my divine angels emulating them.”

 

His voice at first it was soft and soothing, but deceptively so. Seto was not stupid, and he could hear the subtle undercurrents in his tone.

 

“But such a cost to end it?” He whispered, not daring to look up now, afraid of what he might see in the dark and infinite eyes of God.

 

“Do not fret yourself my child. Steel yourself for what I ask you to do in my name. You will be bringing an end to this terrible business. Soon it will be over and I will have won. Marik will learn his place and be punished for his actions. You will be my strong Left Hand and strike the final blow that ends this. Once more we shall have peace and order. Things will be how I wish them to be again.”

 

With those final words the Lord turned and left, leaving Seto only with a sense of disquiet. Now that the Lord had departed he finally dared to raise his eyes from the ground and get to his feet. Form this meeting he knew that the Lord was angry and it was apparent that he wanted to win at any cost. Evidently God did not like to lose.

 

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“There you have it. No-one else besides the Lord, myself, and now you, knows of that meeting. Despite my misgivings it was a simple matter really. The Lord had commanded so I would obey. I hadn't counted on Kisara to be the one to stand before me in that last battle. She probably thought by doing so she could stop me. But she didn't know the power of that blade, she couldn't have known.”

 

His voice wavered, cracking with emotion, sudden and unfamiliar and yet so intimately tied and constant to the pain that he felt every day. To Bakura it was palpable and had him crossing the gap between them to gently lay his hand on Seto's shoulder in comfort. The Avenger flinched slightly at the contact but did not brush him off.

 

“When it came down to it I could have turned from her, I could have pushed her away but…”

 

He suddenly remembered with sharp clarity the Lord's words echoing in his mind, the weight of the responsibility he had been given pressing down on him, the sounds of battle all around him, and if by some will other than his own - he'd had a momentary impression that it might have been the sword's own will but that was preposterous - he had thrust the sword forward with all of his might. He remembered all too clearly the shock in her sapphire eyes, her clumsy last minute counter that glanced off the glowing blade, her fright showing as she saw the burst of flames from the blade engulf his arm. Even in this moment she was more afraid for him than for herself, and then finally he saw the almost questioning look in her eyes as the sword ran her through, clean through her chest.

 

He remembered being captured, frozen in place by her eyes, seeing her realise that she was about to die, a fate that no angel had ever yet comprehended. He was unaware of the sudden stillness on the battlefield around them, the heavy silence that hung in the air. There was blood on her perfect lips, and on himself he would later discover to his horror. As the light faded from her eyes, her perfect aura fading forever into nothingness, she must have seen something in his eyes that pleased her, because the last thing she did before she died was to smile at him.

 

He stood stunned, one arm holding her body to him, the other still holding the terrible weapon that had snuffed out her very existence. He had known that killing another was going to hurt but he felt… anger/sorrow/fear/disgust… so many emotions running through him. He felt that he might weep… grief/loss/pain… what have I done? No, not here, he had to harden his heart, this was battle. His expression hardened to the cold mask he would be known for in the coming years and tore his eyes away from her. It was then that he heard the enraged and pained scream to his side. In an instant he had pulled the sword from her lifeless form and thrust it straight through Yami. The shock on Yami's face did not hurt him, he felt… numb/cold/empty/used… nothing. He was aware of Marik hurriedly calling the surrender and his eyes closed as he realised his awful work was done. Relief, sweet relief as the order to stand down came. No more killing, no-one else had to die but… Kisara… what had he done?

 

Seto sighed heavily. He couldn't even begin to put those memories into words for Bakura, but the earthbound angel could read his emotions in his aura as it shifted and fretted in his distress. He wasn't entirely surprised to feel a tear track its way down his cheek, his eyes full of them by now. It was with great effort that he pulled himself together enough to have voice to speak.

 

“So yes, I hate Marik and the Fallen. I hate them because if Marik had not led his stupid rebellion I would not have been forced to betray my heart, to destroy the only one who ever meant anything to me, who made me happy, showed me love. Had he not angered the Lord then I would not have been sent out there to kill.”

 

Bakura didn't know what to say, he could only nod with a heavy heart. He could understand those feelings. Had he been in Seto's place and it had been Akeifa standing before him what would he have done? How would he have felt?

 

“God rules with a heavy hand. We have always known this.” He said solemnly.

 

He did not speak of his newfound respect for Seto. Standing up to God and questioning him as he did. He knew how hard it had been for him to refuse summons after summons to fight, how much of a struggle it had been to stand his ground, stand up for what he believed in. For someone like Seto to question the Lord's wishes must have taken more than Seto would express. He looked down at the Avenger who by now had silent tears running down his cheeks, his heart twisting at the sight. How long had he been shedding them alone, in secret, with no comfort from anyone, bearing his pain and guilt alone? It is said that everyone has their cross to bear, much as their Lord did when he was born to man as Christ - this part of Seto's past was obviously his.

 

“I hated you.” Seto said quietly, shaking Bakura from his thoughts. “I hated you for so long, because you did the one thing I could not. You simply refused, turned away rather than fight against someone that you loved. You have a strength that I can never possess. You've even survived your punishment when I would have gone mad long since. And now you have found love again.” He said bitterly. “Do you have any idea how galling all of that is?” He snapped suddenly.

 

Bakura stepped away from Seto and sat down in the chair opposite him. He knew that this rant, while it was aimed at him, was Seto finally getting things off his chest. Though it explained a lot. Fucking hell, the whole thing made a truck load of things finally make sense. He'd simply had no idea, but none of them had.

 

“Yell at me all you like Seto, but envy and anger will only bring you more pain. It is time that you moved on. I think you have punished yourself enough.” Yeah, through a few millennia. “It is time you let go. You had absolution from the beginning and I doubt Kisara would want you to be doing this to yourself.”

 

Seto sighed heavily. “I know.” He replied softly. “It is easier said than done.”

 

Bakura chuckled dryly. “Tell me about it. Fuck, you think I haven't beaten myself up over Akeifa's punishment over and over again throughout the years? I've just been lucky enough to have him telling me the only way that he can to get off my ass, quit moping and get my fucking act together. I know Kisara would do the same if she could. But I know where you can start, and it's probably the hardest fucking thing for you to do right now, but the only way forward is to forgive yourself.”

 

Seto's eyes met his sharply, tears now gone, and gave him a look that told him to stop treating him like an imbecile or that sword that they all feared would be taking his head off. Bakura only laughed at the look.

 

“Glare at me all you want, but it's the truth. Just think on that for a while. For now let's get you back to Joey.”

 

Seto groaned. “Bakura, I am not in the mood to handle him. If I try I might kill him.”

 

Bakura chuckled. “He is Mr Cheerful, I'll give you that. Don't worry, I'll handle him and you can go and lock yourself in your room and mope to your heart's content.”

 

Bakura merely smirked at the answering growl but Seto didn't really mind. He had actually talked about it openly and instead of ridiculing him or using it against him Bakura had understood and actually tried to help. Yes, as the two sat across the table from each other their eyes met and he could only see respect and understanding in Bakura's eyes. Was that really so surprising? They weren't all that different when it came down to it. But something else also needed to be said.

 

“You are the only one who knows about all of this Bakura.” He said in a warning tone.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He had to fight not to snigger at Seto's warning glare. “Seriously. What was said here will remain here and between us. You have my word on that.”

 

Seto nodded, it was enough for him. Though he frowned when Bakura chuckled.

 

“You know, for once we have actually spent time round each other without it degrading into a huge argument. I think we are making progress.”

 

Seto was about to snap back some catty remark but he too saw the funny side of it, though his smile was barely visible and only lasted a moment or two.

 

“How's the hangover by the way?” Bakura asked as he got up and finished clearing up after breakfast.

 

“Hangover?” Seto genuinely didn't know the term.

 

“Yeah, killer headache, general feeling of malaise, general pain in the fucking arse any way that you look at it.” Bakura said with a smirk.

 

Seto rolled his eyes. “Better.”

 

“Good, it's time to go then.”

 

It didn't take long for them to get ready to go. Seto was in the clothes he went out in the night before, and despite the shower he was looking forward to getting into clean ones. Yes he could have used his powers to conjure up new ones but he didn't have the will to do so. That and he was cautious that such an expenditure of energy would set off his headache again. Bakura quickly got his coat and the two headed out. The walk was not a long one and passed in silence, though for once it was not tense or oppressive. A seed had been sown between them, and while the two would never be the easiest of friends, an understanding was now between them, one that would become an unbreakable bond. As they arrived at Joey's house Bakura stopped Seto before he could put the key in the lock.

 

“Look, if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. I know how hard it can be carrying it around on your own. And think on what I said.”

 

Seto nodded. “I will.”

 

With that he slid the key home and opened the door. At the sound of the front door opening Joey got up and stepped out into the hall. He grinned at Seto.

 

“Good night? I have to say I was surprised to find the house empty when I got back last night.”

 

“He bunked with me. It was closer.” Bakura shrugged with a grin. “You know, what with the getting drunk, starting fights, the usual night out with the lads kinda shit.”

 

Joey was shocked and looked to Seto questioningly. “Really?”

 

“It was… eventful.” Seto muttered before stalking off to his room.

 

Bakura chuckled and looked to Joey. “Don't mind him, he's feeling a little delicate. Good to see you Joey, and I'd like to see you again, so take my advice and keep out of his way today. He has a mean right hook, trust me on this.” He said with a grin.

 

Joey laughed. “Sure thing. Though starting a fight? He really did that?” He still didn't quite believe it.

 

“Cracked Yami a good one, though the idiot was asking for it at the time. We all had a few too many last night.”

 

Joey sniggered. “Reading you loud and clear pal.”

 

“Have a good night yourself?” Bakura asked, he was curious as it would give him a good idea as to Ryou's mood.

 

“Yeah, a lot quieter than yours, but it was good to spend time with the guys again.”

 

Bakura nodded. “Isolation is not good for anyone.” Oh how true those words were. “Anyway, I just wanted to see him home since I was the one who got him drunk in the first place. I'd best be off, stuff to do before work tonight, laundry and all that shit. Seriously though, I'd leave the fucker be today. Let him come to you if you know what I am saying.”

 

“I hear ya'.” Joey said with a grin. “Hope to see you soon, though with a bit more time to talk. Ryou does seem to monopolise your time.”

 

“You don't see me complaining.” Bakura smirked.

 

Joey grinned as he saw Bakura out and was just closing the door as Bakura turned to him.

 

“You never know, you might find that stick up his ass might've been dislodged.” He said with a smirk.

 

Joey laughed loudly. “And miracles will never cease.”

 

“We'll see.” Bakura said wisely and walked away.

 

Joey shook his head. If Bakura expected him to believe that in one night Seto would change then he really must take him for a fool. Nope, no way in hell. He wasn't going to fall for that. For that much of a change to occur… well in his mind Hell would freeze over first. But hey, he professed to be open minded, he'd wait and see. Seto might just surprise him.

 

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AN:

Okay, apologies for lack of drama as in Duke confronting Bakura but it wouldn't go into a single chapter, and the above chapter is over 5000 words long already. Wasn't up for a monster. But I am currently working on that little event now. For now I ask you all to bear with me and please Read and Review.