Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent II ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Room For Rent II

Chapter Two

"Welcome home, Dad!" Ryou said, as he stepped into the living room after his father.

The man blinked. "The furniture is different…"

"Well, err… the couch just fell apart one day, and I decided, since I had to get a new couch anyway, I might as well redo the room…"

His father sniffed. "I liked this room."

"The wallpaper was from the sixties. Otogi made fun of me whenever he came over."

"Mmn. So peer pressure made you do this? DON'T BOW DOWN TO PEER PRESSURE! DON'T DO IT!"

"Calm down, Dad. The rest of the house is nice and hippie-fied, just like you liked it way back when."

The man gave a sigh of relief. "I hope you haven't mauled my bedroom in any way."

Ryou laughed nervously. "Like I'd go in there! That place is creepy, with all those mummified peppers and stuff…"

"I _like_ the mummified peppers. They're cute," he said, cuddling an imaginary mummified pepper.

Ryou cleared his throat. "Should I cook us some dinner, then?"

"Certainly. Do we have any octopus?"

Ryou sweat-dropped. "Err… no. But we do have some spinach… and Brussels sprouts."

"Eww," the man wrinkled his nose. "Nasty vegetables."

"How about Ramen, then?"

"Ramen it is!" the man shouted quickly, raising his hands joyfully into the air before wandering to the living room to cry about the modern decorations.

Ryou huffed, filling a pot with water and waiting for it to boil. "Gah! Everything's messed up now!" There was no annoying Bakura to try and grope him while in the middle of cooking, no psychotic yelling at electronic devices from the other room, and certainly no whining about Ryou's `inability to show affection' or his `terrible tendency to not be a good uke'.

"Mou… and it hasn't even been that long since Baku-chan left…" he sighed, hoisting himself to sit on the counter beside the stove. He leaned against the cabinet, watching the pot of water out of the corner of his eye. A tiny bubble appeared. One, two…seventeen… forty-eight… "Ahhh!" Ryou suddenly awoke from his trance, turning the heat setting of the eye down before the water boiled over.

"Don't explode on me, hippie stove! I beg of you!" Ryou said, pouring noodles into the pan. "Make love, not war!"

"…Ryou?"

"Hm?" Ryou asked, looking up from his praying to the stove.

"What's this thing on top of the TV?"

Ryou shrugged, following him into the living room. "Oh! A wax pineapple."

"What's a wax pineapple doing on top of the TV?"

"Whatever it wants, I suppose."

"It's an inanimate object. It doesn't want anything," his father explained.

"Then why don't you ask it what it's doing? And while you're doing that, I'll go save the Ramen-I bet it's about burnt to a crisp by now."

"Ryou, is there something wrong?" his father asked between bites of crunchy `chicken' flavored noodles.

"No. Why would anything be wrong?" Ryou said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh, well that's good. So, what are you studying for in college? You are in college, aren't you?"

"I'm studying literature. I'm going to be a high school teacher."

"That's nice. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Well, why not?"

"Because I have a boyfriend," Ryou snapped.

"Haha!" Ryou's father laughed. "You were always so funny, Ryou."

Ryou glared at him, but the man seemed not to notice. "This Ramen is lovely."

"It's burnt."

"So? You cook like your mother!"

"Well, I just think it feels so good to carry on the family tradition," Ryou said, flashing his father a large, fake smile.

"That's my boy!" the man said, before getting up and taking his plate to the sink. "I think I'll go see what's on TV…"

Ryou sighed, getting up and dragging his own plate to the sink. He washed the two plates off before storing them in the dishwasher.

"RYOU!" came the yell from the living room.

Ryou sighed, wandering to the living room. "What is it?" he asked, sinking tiredly onto the couch.

"AMERICAN IDOL IS OVER!!!"

"Dad, that show ended years ago."

"B-but… I loved American Idol!"

"It'll be O.K., Daddy. It's not the end of the world."

"Ye-yes it is! Waaaaaaaah!" His father began sobbing into a pillow.

Ryou rolled his eyes, changing the channel and hoping Bakura was having a better time than he was…

"Mou…" Bakura whined, shoving yet another spoonful of chocolate pudding in his mouth. It was three in the morning and Bakura couldn't sleep; so naturally, he was lounging on the couch, watching cheesy romance films and eating chocolate pudding. I mean, who doesn't do that?

"Bakuuuuuuuuraaaaaaaaa," Malik whined, plopping on the couch beside the white-haired boy/man/thing. "Quit eating all of our chocolate pudding! We're going to need it later!"

Bakura growled threateningly at Malik, "You can use whipped cream for that!"

Malik's lip trembled. "B-but… we just ran out of that five minutes ago!" He fell dramatically onto Bakura's shoulder, sobbing into it.

"Then quit having sex so much!"

Malik gasped, staring at Bakura with a horrified look in his eyes. "How dare you even suggest such a thing?!"

"What's going on out there?" came the deep voice of Mariku from the hallway.

"He keeps eating our special pudding!" Malik whined.

Mariku entered the living, room, glaring at Bakura. "What's the point of eating it while it's still in the cup? You're completely wasting it if you're not licking it off someone else."

O_o Poor little Baku-chan was severely disturbed.

Without too much warning, little alarm bells began ringing out all over the house. "Ah!" Malik shouted. "It must be that time again, ne?"

Bakura wisely covered his eyes with his hands, not wanting to know what it was time for. He heard a happy-bouncy tune, and curiously peeked out from between his fingers. "AHHHHHHHHH!" he yelled, diving under the couch.

"Ha ha ha! Does little Bakura not like watching `Days of Our Lives'?" Mariku asked, tugging on Bakura's hair and sitting him on the floor in front of the TV.

Bakura hid his eyes with his bangs. "Why is a soap opera on at-" he checked his watch, "-four in the morning?"

"Because," Mariku said with a flourish, striking a Ginyu pose, "WE HAVE TIVO!"

"Yesh! We can watch all of our favorite shows at our convenience!!!" Malik said, joyous tears shining in his eyes.

"…and four in the morning is `at your convenience'?" Bakura asked incredulously.

"Why, of course. The rest of the time we're going at it, you know."

"You're hopeless."

"Hopelessly in love, yes," Malik cooed happily, latching onto Mariku's arm.

"Urgh… this is icky. I shall go forth and barf now."

"No!" Malik suddenly shrieked. "Don't do it, Bakura!" He grabbed Bakura's arm, pulling him back.

"Why not?"

"THEN YOU'RE WASTING ALL THE PUDDING! I mean, before it was at least allowing you to have wet dreams about Ryou, but if you throw it up, it's not worth anything!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Bakura ran away from the sobbing Malik, slamming the door of his bedroom shut and locking it. "Maybe I'd have been better off staying with Otogi…"

Otogi smiles.

"Yeah right. Even hell in a hand basket is better than dealing with Otogi."

Otogi sobs.

AN: Yay! …even though nobody's reviewing and I'm dying of lack of reviews and tuberculosis and a tumor!!!

(It's not a tumor!)

Shut it, you! It IS a tumor!!! *Ahem*. Now, I'm getting desperate. If I don't get at least five reviews for this chapter, I'm not posting another chapter! …I'll still write them, but you won't get to see them! Tee-hee! I'm so evil!

So review!