Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent II ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Room For Rent II

Chapter Three

"Hey, Ryouuuuuuuu," his father said, looking up from where he had been raptly watching C-SPAN.

It was early morning and Ryou was moodier than normal. "What?" he croaked.

"They're talking about Funny Bunny on TV!"

"That's great… now I need some coffee…"

"I love Funny Bunny!"

"Yeah, whatever," Ryou mumbled sleepily as he searched the cabinets for some coffee.

"Oooh, Ryou! Ryou!"

"What do you want now?"

Ryou's father blinked before deciding to ignore Ryou's bad mood. "This guy… he wrote a book about Funny Bunny!"

"…"

"And he's having a book signing in town today! Can we go? Huh, can we?"

"…and who's the child here?"

"…You," his father admitted. "So, will you take me? Huh?"

Ryou glanced up at the TV; on the screen was the (in)famous Pegasus J. Crawford, weird red suit and all. Pegasus had many secret (and not so secret) names-`Creator of Duel Monsters', `Weird Guy with the Golden Eyeball', `That Man', `That Mental Dude Who Is Obsessed with Funny Bunny', and `That Fruity Guy with Silvery Hair'… wait!

"Fine, I'll take you to see him… but only if I get some coffee first!"

"Okey-dokey!" his father said, saluting Ryou.

Ryou sighed, exasperated, and went to find some caffeine. At least the fact that Pegasus was bi helped Ryou out a little… if his father was obsessed with a bisexual, then maybe there would be a chance for him accepting Ryou and Bakura…

Finally finding some instant coffee, Ryou made a cup and sipped it greedily.

"Tra la la, the birdies and the flowers, oh happy day, la la la…"

Ryou decided to ignore his father's singing, dumping a cup of sugar into his coffee. He drank the rest before placing the mug in the dishwasher and strolling out into the living room, slightly more amiable than before.

"Come on. We're going to your book signing. Get in the car."

"I want a lollipop!" the man suddenly yelled.

"It ain't my problem, is it?"

"Yesh it is! I want a lollipop!"

"Then buy one! You're forty-something! I don't have to cater to your every whim!"

"B-but… I have sun poisoning! I could be dying right now!" Ryou's father fell dramatically to the couch.

Several anger marks had appeared on Ryou's forehead by now. "All right… deep breaths… Father, either I take you to the book signing now or you don't go at all."

"Oh. O.K.! You lead the way to the car, then!"

Ryou glared, making his way to the car.

"Oooh yeeeeeees, I adore Funny Bunny as well! Isn't he just the funniest little bunny rabbit?" Ryou sighed in exasperation as the voice of Pegasus drifted from the front of the room. There was a long line stretching from the table the man was sitting at to the doorway of the room. Ryou and his father were at the back of aforementioned line.

"Wow! Isn't that guy just the coolest! I can't believe so many people like Funny Bunny just as much as I do!" Ryou's father was squealing like a teenage girl at a Bad Luck concert.

"I am not here," Ryou murmured.

"And doesn't that guy have the greatest suit? It's so red and… red!"

"I am not here," Ryou's mantra continued.

"And his hair is silvery and long! He has hair like your mother!"

"I AM NOT HERE!" Ryou yelled, covering his ears and trying to block out his father's running commentary on the magnificence that was Pegasus J. Crawford.

Pegasus stood from his table, staring across the room to see who had just yelled like a mental patient on drugs. "Who has just yelled like a mental patient on drugs?" he asked in his deep, Pegasus-type voice that carried across the room.

Ryou hid behind an obese woman carrying a box of chocolates the size of Vatican City, hoping no one would notice him.

"It was my son! He's over here, hiding behind a fat woman with a gigantic box of chocolates!"

"I'm not fat!" the woman yelled, turning to Ryou's father and smacking him about the head with aforementioned box of chocolates. Ryou's father crumpled to the floor.

Pegasus walked over to find out what exactly was going on. "What exactly is going on?" he demanded of Ryou, who was now attempting to hide behind a large ornamental flamingo that was randomly set up in the middle of the room.

"Err… I yelled and then all hell broke loose?" Ryou asked, blinking up at Pegasus with wide brown eyes.

"Yeeeeees. And I assume this man is your father?" Pegasus asked, gesturing to the carcass of the crumpled forty-something man on the floor.

"Unfortunately."

"Kids these days. So rude and disrespectful!"

"He pitched a fit and forced me to drive him here!" Ryou said, pouting.

"Is he senile already? He doesn't look old enough to have gray hair, let alone be senile!"

"He has sun poisoning. He wandered Egypt for five years, and now he's more than a little touched in the head," Ryou said.

"Really? I've been to Egypt, too! That's where I got this funky eyeball thingy!" Pegasus said happily, pulling back his hair to reveal the sennen eye embedded in his eye socket.

Ryou turned away under the pretext of seeing if his father was still alive. "Is he all right?" Pegasus asked, peering over Ryou's shoulders.

"He's fine."

"Well, that's good. I guess I'll go back to signing people's books, then."

Ryou's father miraculously awoke, jumping to his feet and grabbing Pegasus's arm. "Wait! Sign your book for me, onegai!"

"All right," Pegasus agreed, taking the book from Ryou's father. "So, what's your name?"

Ryou's father looked confused, embarrassment washing over his features. "Erm… Bob?"

"Bob?" Pegasus repeated, staring at Ryou's father.

"Yesh! All sexy, cool people are named Bob!" Ryou's father, Bob proclaimed, as cheesy superhero music played in the background.

"Except for the cool, sexy people named Pegasus, ne?"

"Oh! Of course!"

"Well, there you go, Bob!" Pegasus said brightly, giving the book back to `Bob'. "Ja ne!"

Pegasus strolled back to his table.

"Wow!" Bob exclaimed, eyes shining. "I didn't even have to wait in that long line! And it's all thanks to you, Ryou! …and the enormously fat woman!"

Said enormously fat woman glared at him, waving her chocolate box threateningly.

Bob smiled brightly. "Bye-bye, fat lady! And thanks a billion!"

The fat woman broke down into sobs as Bob walked out the door. She feverishly opened her box and began stuffing chocolates the size of coconuts rapid-fire into her mouth.

"Are you O.K., lady?" Ryou asked, pretending to be concerned.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Everybody's always so meaaaaaaaaan to meeeeeeeeee!"

"Hey, at least you don't have to live with `Bob'," Ryou muttered, before walking out the door after his father.

"GUESS WHAT, RYOU?!" Bob yelled happily as soon as Ryou opened the car door.

Ryou glared. "I'm going deaf because of you…"

"LOOK WHAT PEGSY WROTE! SEE, RYOU!" Ryou found a book shoved under his nose.

In an elegant, curly writing was, `To Bob: I'm glad you love Funny Bunny as much as I do! It's great to find a fan as dedicated as I am! I'd be delighted if you and that incorrigible son of yours would join me for lunch at the Blah Restaurant. Call me!'

"…he signed it `Pegsy'…" Ryou muttered, feeling nauseous.

"Isn't it just great, Ryou? I get to have lunch with a famous author! And so do you, aren't we soooooo lucky?!"

"…sure," Ryou murmured.

AN: Yay! I'm sorry this took so long, but… there were bad things going on and on top of that, I had writer's block for a few days. It's all better now, though!

Oh, and thanks so much for all the reviews! I knew that if I whined and complained enough, people would start reviewing! All the reviewers get yellow roses and other symbols of friendship!

…oh, and to bunny_overlord: I'm not sure if Ryou was born in Britain or not, but Ryou is Japanese either way because his parents are… and I'm pretty sure he was born in Japan anyway and they just moved to Britain later because of his dad's job.

YOU MUST APPEASE THE REVIEW GOD!

Ja!