Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent II ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Room for Rent II

Chapter Four

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Bakura yelled, leaning against the door with all his weight. "GET BACK IN THE CLOSET!!!" Bakura panted, barely able to keep the door closed while both Malik and Mariku were pounding on it, trying to break free.

Bakura sat, back against the door. He breathed a sigh of relief as the two maniacal blondes stopped beating against the door. Strange noises sounded behind Bakura. He glared, going off to do something else. Obviously the blondes had agreed to stay in the closet, but only because there were lots of strange outfits and coat hangers…

"Oh, Mariku…" came the voice of Malik. "Again, again!"

Bakura screamed. The phone rang. Bakura screamed again.

Mariku and Malik suddenly ran from the closet, clothes disheveled. "DON'T LET THEM RAPE YOU, `KURA!" Malik yelled.

Bakura blinked before picking up the phone. "Moshi moshi…"

"BA-KU-RAAAAAAAAAAA!" came Ryou's yell.

"Eek! Ryou-chan, my koi!" Bakura said happily. "I wuv youuuu…"

"Bakuuuuuuraaaa… waaaaaaah!"

"Ah! What's wrong, itooshi? Do I have to kill anyone?"

"Do you know Pegasus J. Crawford?" Ryou asked.

"The fruity guy with silvery hair? Yeah."

"He's taking my father on a date."

"That's odd. I thought Pegasus would want someone prettier… you know, like you, Ryou!"

"Eek! Don't even suggest something like that!" Ryou shrieked.

"Heh. Heh heh heh…"

"Grr… but anyway, Pegasus wants me to come too. I DON'T WANT TO BE MY FATHER'S CHAPERONE!"

"Err… but hey, look at the bright side! You're one step closer to making your father like gay people!"

"Hn."

"Just tell him you have to read a book for your Lit class."

"He'd still want me to come."

"Then give him a poisoned lollipop and dump his body in a cornfield!" Bakura suggested joyfully.

"I'm not going to -murder- my father… he would come back to haunt me!"

"Oh, well," Bakura murmured. "I guess there's nothing I can do to help you…"

Ryou sighed, "It's O.K. I'll just pretend my dad isn't going out with a fruity freak."

"Wait… how come it's O.K. for you to do those things, but it isn't all right for your father to do those things?"

"Are you calling yourself a fruity freak?"

"…maybe."

"Well, you're not. You're a -sexy- fruity freak."

"Ooh, Ryouuuuuu…"

"Too bad you're stuck with Mariku and Malik, ne?" Ryou asked, teasing.

"Stupid sex fiends," Bakura growled.

"Just remember, you're mine! Mine, mine, MIIIIIIINE!"

"…Wow."

Ryou giggled. "Well, ja!"

"Ja…" Bakura placed the phone back on its cradle. He stared at the wall for a moment before bursting into sobs and running to the kitchen.

Mariku and Malik watched him curiously, following him. Bakura was on his knees, rifling through the refrigerator box. "WHERE'S THE PUDDING?!"

"You ate it all," Malik said.

"Waaaaah…" Bakura cried, standing up. He glanced at the shelf of the refrigerator, eyes lighting up. "Brussels sprouts! Spinach!" He grasped the nasty-tasting vegetables, hugging them to his chest. "MY RYOU-CHAN!"

"Wow, Mariku… we should start making better friends from now on, ne?"

"Really… he's getting -this- upset over a guy he hasn't even slept with yet… Bakura, you have no class!"

Bakura, happily hugging his nasty vegetables that Ryou often threatened him with, chose to ignore their comments.

"You're a freak, `Kura. C'mon, Mariku, let's go back to doing what we do best."

"Oh, I'm so glad the two of you could make it!" Pegasus said happily as he shook Bob's hand. "Hello, Bob! It's so nice to see you again!"

"Yes! It feels like I haven't seen you in ages, but then I remember that it was just yesterday!" Bob proclaimed jubilantly.

"Oh, Ryou! You look so cute today!"

Ryou glared, crossing his arms.

"Ahem. Well, let's go find a table then, eh?" Pegasus hurried off to speak with a restaurant employee, leaving Bob to gaze stupidly at the scenery and Ryou to continue staring menacingly at the wall.

"How come I had to come on you with your date? I need to be reading ridiculously long books -today- so that I can write ridiculously long reports on them tomorrow," Ryou whined.

"Don't be silly, Ryou. This isn't a date," Bob answered.

"Riiiiight. You're going to a restaurant with a fruity man who wants to buy you food. What else would it be?"

"I'm not gay."

"It doesn't matter that you're not, because Pegasus is!"

"Don't be silly! Look, here he comes now, and then we can ask him!" Bob told Ryou, waving Pegasus over.

"All right, there's a table for us beside the window! It has a lovely view of that dangerous alleyway that Mother always warned me not to go into!"

Ryou sweat-dropped, following the other two to the table. As soon as they had sat down, Bob opened with the question. "Are you gay?"

Pegasus' eyes bugged out for a moment, before he recovered, primly swiping his napkin into his lap. "Of course not."

"See, Ryou! I told you-"

"I'm bisexual."

"And -who- told -who-?" Ryou asked, smirking.

"Yes. I believe that gender doesn't matter in the slightest when it comes to true love. OPEN YOUR MIND AND OPEN YOUR HEART!" He shouted, raising a fist in the air.

The other customers of the restaurant stared at Pegasus.

"Oh… well, that's lovely!" Bob said. "I mean, my wife is dead, but I would've loved her even if she had been a man!"

"Oh, you're a widower, are you?" Pegasus asked, as a waiter came by.

"What would you like to order?"

"A chicken!"

"Umm… right," the waiter said, writing it down anyway. "And you?"

"Umm… an egg salad sandwich!" Bob shouted.

"Right." The waiter turned to look at Ryou, staring expectantly, a fake smile plastered on his face.

"…Vodka," Ryou whispered.

"What?" the waiter asked, leaning in closer.

"VODKA!!!" Ryou yelled at the top of his lungs. The waiter fell to the floor, twitching and clutching his ears in a frightened way.

"Really, Ryou, you must learn better manners," Pegasus said, staring distastefully at the quivering waiter. "Now it's going to take even longer to get our food…"

Ryou groaned. "Ya know what? Y'all just have fun without me. I need to go somewhere and get plastered."

"Oh, O.K.," Bob said. "You have fun now."

"Ahem. As I was saying…"

Of course, Ryou really didn't get himself plastered. Ryou's a good little boy and he'd never do something like that… well, within reason. No, he actually went home to read those books he's been complaining about for a while.

"Oh no, I so saaaaad, I'm just a rich bimbo with a huuuuge, gorgeous mansion and a super-sexy husband, my life is sooo terrible!" Ryou whined, doing an impression of the character he was reading about. "I think I'll commit suiciiiiiiiiiide!"

Ryou fought with himself to keep reading the horribly written, disgusting book. The contents irked him to no end, but if he didn't have the bloody thing memorized, he'd probably fail his Lit class, and… well, failing his college major had never been one of Ryou's goals.

"Blehh," Ryou said to himself. "I feel like the great mayfly of life has deserted me…" He stared listlessly around the room for a few moments, before he managed to get himself back on task.

"No! I have to read this! Finals are coming up soon! I SHALL PREVAIL!" Ryou slammed his fist down onto the table. "Itaiiiiiiiiii!"

Ryou collapsed on the sofa, clutching his hand. "Mouuuuu…"

AN: …erm. I think I was supposed to say -something-, but I can't remember what it was… tee-hee. -^_^-