Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent II ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Room For Rent II

Chapter Five

AN: REVIEW, YOU BLOODY INGRATES! HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO STAY ALIVE ON SO FEW REVIEWS? BLOODY, BLOODY PEOPLE! …unless, of course, everyone who reads the story is already reviewing, and I just have a pitiful number of readers… waaaaaah! Now I'm sad! …mou.

"Ohayooooooooooou, Ryoooooooooooou!" Otogi said happily as he met Ryou in the hall.

"Hey, `togi…" Ryou murmured, staring glumly at his shoes.

"Eek! Kami-sama! What's wrooooooong, Ryou-chan?" Otogi shook Ryou by his shoulders, shrieking like a madman. "RYOOOOOOU-CHAAAAAN IS DYING!"

"Shut up, Otogi," Ryou said calmly. "I'm not dying."

"Then what in the world is wrong with you?" Otogi asked, little question marks floating around his head. "Usually, you're either being PMS-y or you're being incredibly nice… and now you're just like… BLAH!"

"Mou…"

"I'm worried about you, Ryou… is Bakura treating you badly? Do I need to feed him poisoned beans and wrap him in a tarp while singing odd country songs?"

"It's not Bakura… well, it sorta is… except not."

"Wow. Your conversationalist skills are rather lacking today, Ry-chan."

"Well, my daddy is back from Egypt, and he doesn't seem to approve of… mine and Bakura's relationship…"

"So I should be feeding your father the beans, then?" Otogi asked, wearing a flowery pink apron and a crazed look in his eyes.

"NO BEANS! YOU'RE NOT FEEDING THE POISONED BEANS TO ANYBODY!"

"…I'm only trying to help you, Ry-chan…" Otogi said, tears in his eyes. "Whyyy must you be soooo cruel? DOUSHITE, RYOU? What evil things did I ever do to merit having you as a friend?"

Ryou glared. "Fine. I won't tell you the rest."

Otogi looked up from where he was sobbing into a random guy's shirt. He pushed the guy away, staring raptly at Ryou. "Y-you mean there's more?!"

"Unfortunately, yes. Bakura's having to live with Mariku and Malik now because of father… but the funny thing is, father is dating Pegasus."

"Your dad's dating a flying horse?"

"No! The infamous Pegasus J. Crawford who wears funny red suits!"

"Oh. The fruity guy. Yeah, I know who you're talking about. He'd be decent-looking if he didn't wear that funny red suit all the time. Actually, he'd look kinda like you, Ryou…" Otogi's eyes widened.

Ryou sighed heavily. "What is it now, Otogi?"

"MAYBE PEGASUS IS REALLY YOUR FATHER?!"

Ryou thwacked Otogi about the head with a lead pipe that had magically appeared from thin air. "Don't be a baka…well, at least don't be more of one than you normally are."

"Itaiiii…" Otogi muttered, rubbing his head.

"And on top of that, I needed to finish this huge, stupid book last night, but I didn't have time to because my dad whined, cried, and threw vases at me until I took him out for ice cream… so I won't have enough time to write a decent report on it, and I'll get a bad grade on it, and I'll fail literature, and I'll end up living in a van by the river!"

"And you'll work at Wendy's?" Otogi asked hopefully.

"…sure, I'll work with you."

"Yay! I love you, Ry-chan! Yellow roses!"

"…I suppose that's what friends are for…"

"And I'll come and visit you and Bakura in your van by the river!"

"Waaaaaaahhhhhh…" Ryou latched onto Otogi and began sobbing into his shirt.

"Ryou? Don't you think Bakura will be jealous if he sees you all over me like this?"

Ryou sobbed harder. "I miss my `Kura-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

"Aww, poor lovesick Ryou-koinu," Otogi mumbled, patting the top of Ryou's head. "It'll be O.K."

"But… I want Bakura! I want him to hug me and tell me that everything's going to be all right… no offense to you, Otogi!"

"Well, err… Bakura does go to the same college as us. He's probably somewhere on campus right now!"

"…but that would be making a scene!"

"No more of a scene that we're making right now, I assure you!"

"…mou," Ryou said pitifully, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I have to go to class now…"

"Oh, all right. You know, Ryou…"

"Hm?"

"…you're not going to class today," Otogi declared, a devilish gleam in his eyes.

"Oh? And why not?"

"BECAUSE I'M KIDNAPPING YOU! GWA HA HA!" Otogi grabbed Ryou's arm, dragging him out of the building.

Ryou gulped. Otogi had decided that they needed to have a nice stroll around the park (Otogi had pretended to be a pigeon so that the half-blind old people would throw food at him, but Ryou didn't laugh, so he stopped after a while), and Ryou hadn't been able to get back until five minutes after his literature class had ended.

"This is baaaaaaad…" Ryou mumbled to himself, waiting outside his professor's office. He tapped his feet anxiously, rapping on the door again for good measure.

"Umm…" Ryou mumbled, as the door opened.

"Oh. Hello, little student! Do come in!" The professor smiled at Ryou, pulling him into his office and shutting the door behind them. "Have a seat! Would you like some tea?"

"Oh… all right," Ryou said, feeling embarrassed. This was all rather odd. He had expected the professor to be angry-not to invite him in for tea.

"You weren't in class today," the professor said, sitting on a couch opposite Ryou as he handed him a mug of steaming hot tea.

"Yes, about that…" Ryou began, deciding to lie for the sake of seeming like a responsible student. "…I was feeling under the weather this morning-ya know, retching, running a temperature, coughing-so I decide not to come. I didn't want to spread all my germs to everyone else."

"And yet you're here now?"

"…it got better," Ryou mumbled, looking away and wishing he weren't such a terrible liar.

He heard the professor sigh. "Listen, student. I don't know what's been troubling you lately, but your grades are slipping. You need excellent marks in literature if you're planning on teaching it. I…I can help you get better grades, if you want me to." The professor stared out the window at the gray, smoggy skies as he took a long sip of his tea.

"Really? You'd tutor me?" Ryou asked, eyes shining with gratitude.

The professor laughed. "No. In all honesty… with the way things are going, you haven't got a snowball's chance in hell of passing my class," he turned to Ryou with a grin.

"B-but you said…"

"Yes, there's still a chance for you to pass," the professor said, and came to sit beside Ryou on the couch. Ryou was increasingly uneasy about this whole thing…

"How can I pass?"

"I'll give you an A…"

"Really? Tell me what to do! Please?"

The professor smirked. "Sleep with me."

Ryou stared at his professor in shock. He made a few unintelligible noises before regaining part of his composure. "Professor Mikuni!"

"Yes, I know. The school board doesn't approve… but they don't have to know, do they?" Mikuni leaned in closer to Ryou, placing a thin hand on his shoulder. "I get a gorgeous guy in bed with me, and you get perfect marks in your core subject. We all win, see?" Mikuni's arm moved to snake around Ryou's waist.

Ryou stood up abruptly. "How… HOW DARE YOU! You… YOU SCUM!"

"Aww, what's wrong, Ryou? I promise I'll be gentle, if that's what you're worried about. I know a virgin when I see one." Mikuni's hands slid into Ryou's hair, stroking it gently. "It won't be bad at all… you'll even enjoy it, I bet."

Ryou turned red from rage. "YOU JERK! YOU BASTARD!" There was a loud `smack' before Ryou ran from the room, sobbing.

"Oww…" Mikuni muttered, holding the blood-red handprint on his cheek. "Oh, well. He'll come around when he realizes how poorly he's been doing in class… and then he'll beg me to let him sleep with me… yeeeeees." He rubbed his hands together maniacally. "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!"

Eep. Wow. I had planned on something like this to happen, but… wow. That was really fun to write! …of course, it's probably not as funny as it could have been… actually, I think RFR2 just isn't as funny as the first one at all… oh, well. It's probably because Ryou and Bakura aren't together all the time. Mou.

Oh, and you can bet Bakura's going to be… upset with this turn of events. Gwa ha ha! You wanna see Mikuni get decked? THEN REVIEW! REVIEW YOUR LITTLE HEARTS OUT! YESSSH!

Oh, and before I forget. Living in a van by the river and working at Wendy's belongs to my cousin, Shiggy-chan. Or at least that's who I heard it from.

And…err. I sorta stole Professor Mikuni's name from Eerie Queerie's Chief Priest Mikuni… all shounen-ai fans (which should be everyone reading this) should go out and buy Eerie Queerie now! The name sucks (it was originally called Ghost… I wish it had stayed that way…), but it's adorable! And cute! And great. Mou.

Ja, everyone. AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!