Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Room for Rent

Chapter Nine

"Namek! Namek is being attacked!" Ryou yelled in his sleep.

Bakura peered at him curiously from his seat on the couch.

"What's going on…?" Ryou asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Bakura, what are you doing upside down?"

Bakura stared back at him.

"Quit being a big meanie!"

Bakura continued staring. Ryou rolled over angrily and tromped up the steps, ranting about something or other.

"Heh," Bakura chuckled. "Hahahahahah!"

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" came the angry yell.

"Nothing; just watching Britcoms…" Ryou growled and slammed his door. "It must be PMS again; it's funny how women only have it once a month, but he has it constantly… hmmm."

Bakura took a moment to mull over his profound statement, before shrugging and grinning brightly. "Animal crackers in my soup, monkeys and rabbits loop-the-loop…"

The man got up and began to do a Shirley Temple-esque tap dance routine. "Gosh oh gee, but I have fun, swallowing animals one by one!"

The doorbell rang, scaring Bakura (he was concentrating intensively on his tap dancing), who went, "Eek!" and fell on his bottom. "Oh, no, the I have the Ryou disease!" he exclaimed as he went to answer the door.

He slammed the door in the faces of the lowly mortals at the door, screaming, "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" After a minute or two, his heart's palpitations slowed a little and he peered outside.

"Bakura, darling!" the woman shrilled, throwing thick arms around poor Baku. Bakura's father stood off to the side, wearing his usual scowl and thick glasses.

The woman barged into the living room, seating herself on Bakura's favorite couch cushion. His father followed, plopping down on the floor next to the Christmas tree and staring at the tinsel that had fallen off.

Ryou's stomping was heard coming down the stairs long before he arrived; apparently, he was still quite infuriated. "BAKURA, WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS ARE YOU DOING!?"

Bakura's mother coughed into her hand to express her disapproval. "Who is this, son?"

"Oh… erm… it's my fiancée!" He jumped up, throwing an arm around Ryou's shoulders. "You'll have to excuse her, she's not a morning person at all."

Ryou wriggled out from Bakura's hold on him, glaring at the older boy.

"Why don't you go into the kitchen and fix you some coffee, honey," Bakura suggested, waving Ryou in the direction of the kitchen. Ryou glared at him, but obeyed.

"Brussels sprouts and spinach…" Ryou muttered under his breath, pouring himself some coffee.

"Bakura," his mother said, lowering her voice, "What happened to that nice girl you were dating?"

"Nice? …do you mean the Anzu?"

"Yes, that was her name."

"Hahahahahahaha. She's not nice. She was… like Kikyo!"

"Kikyo?"

"Yesssh! She was a ho, too!"

"Then why are you marrying this girl?" she asked, gesturing to the kitchen.

"BECAUSE SHE'S BEARING MY CHILD!" Bakura exclaimed dramatically.

Bakura's father spoke up, "See, HE knows that good things come to those who pay!"

The mother hit him, and then got up and marched into the kitchen. Ryou looked up at the scary woman, sipping his coffee.

"HOW DARE YOU TAINT MY SON!"

Ryou stared at the scary woman. "Go away."

"You came onto my son, didn't you!? YOU DATE RAPED MY BAKU-CHAN!"

O.o

"Actually, lady, he's the one who came onto me… just this morn, in fact."

"…You know, you have an awfully flat chest for a college-aged woman," Bakura's mother said thoughtfully.

"Ahem," Ryou huffed, and carried his coffee to the kitchen, plopping down on the floor next to Bakura's father.

"Konnichi wa," the father greeted.

"You need to send your wife to the booby hatch," Ryou said conversationally.

"I must agree heartily. I like you, little boy. Here, have some tinsel," Bakura's father said, sticking a piece of shiny silver stuff into Ryou's shiny silver hair.

"Boy?!" Bakura's mother exclaimed. "Bakura, did losing Anzu make you go gay?!"

"You've been talking to her, haven't you?" Bakura asked dryly. "…Being gay and with Ryou is a lot better than being straight and with the Anzu."

Bakura watched as his mother fainted.

"Anybody wanna play Go?" Bakura's father asked.

*~*

"So, you're not really engaged?"

"No," Ryou answered, moving his piece. "Your son just wishes we were."

"Well, I'm glad you've finally come out of the closet. It was bound to happen someday, so I'm glad it was for someone as charming as Ryou."

"You're so polite! …your son obviously didn't learn manners from you."

"I beat you."

"Pfft. Oh well, I was never a good player anyway." Ryou tipped the Go board so that the pieces fell onto the table.

"Yay! I get to play now!" Bakura said happily.

"No, I bet your mother will be waking up about now. And she'll want to eat… things."

"I don't wanna cook for that… woman."

"Oh, that's all right. Bakura can cook for her."

"Hey!" Bakura exclaimed. "Daddy…"

"Then…let's order take-out!"

"Bakura's paying."

"No fair!" Bakura whined.

*~*

"Bye-bye, you guys! Come back soon!" Ryou waved, grinning cheekily at Bakura's mother, who was still quite miffed about the entire situation. She stuck her nose high in the air and refused to look at Ryou.

"I hope it rains."

Bakura's mother huffed and got in their black hearse-looking car, slamming the door.

"It was nice meeting you, Ryou. Good luck, Bakura; but remember to convert him soon, before he starts seeing other men!"

The two albinos watched as the odd couple drove away.

"Your parents are strange."

"…"

"But your father is nice… if a bit touched in the head."

"Hn."

"Fine then. I won't talk to you, either," Ryou muttered, and stepped back inside. Bakura followed him about half an hour later, wearing a strange look on his face. He came and sat down on the sofa next to Ryou, who was watching a marathon of I Love Lucy.

"Luuuuuucy, you got some esplainin' to do!"

"Ryou?" Bakura asked in a strangely sincere tone. Ryou gasped.

"Nani? Daijoubo ka, Bakura? Do you need the Heimlich?"

"No, but mouth-to-mouth resuscitation would be nice right about now," Bakura said, somehow keeping a straight face.

"Psh. Hentai, you've been spending too much time around Mariku and Malik."

"How do you think of me?"

"What?"

"When you think about me, how does it make you feel?"

"Gee…well, you annoy me a lot… but you're still my friend!"

"I'm just a friend?"

"O-of course! Why wouldn't you be?" Ryou seemed a little flustered, cheeks turning pink; he tugged at his collar, backing away from Bakura.

Bakura chuckled. "Riiiight. Is little Ryou's mind fallen into the gutter?"

"What?! No, of course not! I'm innocent and naïve!"

"Heheheh…"

Before Ryou even knew what was happening, Bakura had his arms wrapped around the smaller boy, cuddling him like a plushie.

"Chibi ichi…"

Ryou's heart started palpitating because of Bakura's whispering in his ears.

"Daisuki yo!"

Ryou huffed.

"Converted yet?"

AN: Mou! I know this took a looooong time… but I had writer's block! And school stuff, too. School is the devil!... yeah, anyway. Err… this chapter goes to my little Ryuujitsu-chan (specifically Futomi), for being special… and stuff.

So, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. You know, clap and stuff. Bakura finally cuddled Ryou…again. Oh well. Admittedly, not much happened and I'm not sure where to go from here. Any and all suggestions are appreciated.

Mou! ^ _ ~